Expand Magazine - Volume 6 Issue 2

two parents who love each other and provide a secure home
life. My husband and I prioritize each other and our marriage.
We connect every morning and evening.
We work together, and that is difficult. We have nontraditional
gender roles, and are a very traditional and conservative
couple. We accepted the trajectory of our lives as God’s
will for us after our oldest son was injured and nearly died.
Chris, my husband, felt being a stay-at-home dad was really
hard. For me, being the sole provider was brutally difficult.
We envied each other and struggled with resentments.
We leaned on prayer and our love for each other to get us
through those first 21 years of marriage. We will do the same
for the next 20 years. We laugh together and continue to
date. We love to exchange witty banter and fun sexy talk. We
truly enjoy each other and know we are soul mates. I know
it sounds corny but who isn’t looking for what we have? We
know we are lucky, and do not take it for granted. Chris is
a wonderful husband and father. I feel incredibly blessed to
have him in my life.
What have been the most valuable lessons you
have learned?
Life is short, precious, and fragile. Live each day of your life
to the fullest and strive to enjoy each moment. Choose to be
happy, to find joy in your career and your chores. Decide to
be thankful instead of complaining and focus on what is right
instead of what is wrong. I have learned that unconditional
love from your parents cannot be underestimated in terms of
its importance in a child’s life. The negative impact of trauma
from abandonment and rejection from your parents cannot
be understated.
Do you have morning rituals or daily habits
that enhance your life?
I start my morning early with water, attempting not to
trip over my two dogs. I make a cup of coffee, read my
devotionals, and a couple of pages of a good book
while loving my pups. I am currently reading Financial
Happiness, by Mike Finley. I write a few things that I am
grateful for in my gratitude journal and then give myself
15 minutes to hit social media, news, and weather.
Then it’s either to the gym to meet my trainer, meet my
friend Amanda for a run outside or at a fitness center, or
I go downstairs to my home gym. When my kids were
younger, nights and mornings were so unpredictable.
After my workout, it’s getting everyone ready and out the
door. My prayer time and exercise set the stage for me to
have a healthy, productive, and positive day.
Bringing babies, toddlers, and preschoolers up during the
night is a real challenge when you are a mom who works
full-time outside of the home. With the kids getting older,
I have a more predictable morning routine now. Another
daily habit is positive self-talk and shutting down negative
thoughts once I recognize I am drifting down that path.
What are your non-negotiables?
We are raising our children to value these traits: respect
for the truth, authenticity, accountability, honesty, and
integrity. These qualities are all interrelated. I expect these
characteristics in myself, and I hope for them in others.
Expand | Cover Story / 19
A dose of a new perspective can change your whole outlook.
Perception is your view of reality. How do you see the world?
How do you fit in it? Can you open your mind to see what
is outside of your narrow worldview? Can you imagine
someone having bigger obstacles to overcome than your
own? Can you visualize someone enduring more tragedy or
hardship in their life than you have, and yet they approach
each day with gratitude and positivity?
When people you care about show you clearly that they do
not value you the way you do them, listen and learn from it.
Many people choose to avoid difficult conversations. Conflict
delayed is conflict multiplied. Left unaddressed, hurt feelings
only lead to deeper wounds. When people show you their
true colors, believe them. Do not make space for people who
do not value what you bring to the relationship.
There are some people in life that can drain the life out of a
room with their negativity. They complain and whine and do
nothing to improve their lot in life. They often have a fixed
mindset. I struggle with this type of person, the 50% who do
not care for me.
I gravitate towards positive people who have a growth
mindset. They self-reflect and want to continue growing
and improving in all aspects of their lives. They are openminded
to constructive criticism and strive to learn new
things, especially about themselves. They enjoy a challenge
and do not seek comfort, because being comfortable creates
weakness.