Expand Magazine - Volume 6 Issue 2

EXPAND | BE MORE /8
ask the
Therapist
By Jackie Paulson
Q:
I am struggling with motherhood. I feel so overwhelmed and guilty all the
time. It feels hard to keep up with everything. I feel so overstimulated
by our schedule and the stress in our home. The whole experience of
parenthood is way harder than I ever expected. I didn’t see our life being
so busy when I first became a mother. I wish we had more time to enjoy
each other and feel connected. Now we all are just exhausted when we are
home and stare at our devices. I want to be better for my family. Help!
Dear Reader,
Thank you for your vulnerable and brave share. I am
sure there are many parents reading this right now
that could relate to what you are saying. I want to
take a moment to note that for the sake of the article,
I will be referencing mostly women and mothers,
however, I must emphasize that all of this can also be
a shared experience by those parents who identify
as men, transgendered, and/or non-binary.
As a therapist who practices from a decolonized
lens, I am acutely aware of how the systems in which
we live create many of the symptoms that we are
experiencing as individuals, couples, and families.
Many people come into my office and say, “what’s
wrong with me? I can’t keep up with everyone else,”
in some way or another. And some of the first layers
we explore, are how none of us were meant to keep
up at this pace as human beings.
The history of the society in which we find ourselves
is built on hyper-individualization, industry, and
productivity. The role of the mother or caregiver
has long been abandoned as something of
importance. Although most people will say that
it is in conversation, the overall systems in which
we live neglects the care of the caregiving, child