The Good Life – March-April 2024

you didn’t do something “wrong,” (ie hurt your partner’s
feelings). An apology, followed by forgiveness, is always the
first step on the road to fixing an issue.
Does the above paragraph mean that your son is always in
the wrong and should just default to an apology when his
romantic partner is upset? No. The adage of, “happy wife,
happy life,” is outdated and often taken out of context to
mean that we, as males, are always wrong. What it instead
means is that, in a holistic sense, ensuring that his romantic
partner is happy within the confines of their relationship is
his duty as a partner and should, therefore, be a constant
priority in his relationship.
Peer Pressure
Pre-teens often face peer pressure, and this is especially
true when it comes to dating. Smoking, drinking, dating,
sex, and misbehavior are all common pitfalls in the teenage
experience.
Discuss the significance of making smart choices and
not giving in to social and peer pressure. Help your son
understand the importance of being true to himself
and choosing relationships that align with his values
and priorities. Also, be sure that he is fully aware of the
consequences of deviating from those values and priorities.
Establish Boundaries
While encouraging independence, it's crucial to help your
son establish healthy boundaries in his relationships and to
recognize those same boundaries in any romantic partners
he may choose to be in a relationship with. Discuss the
concept of personal space, the importance of consent,
and the significance of setting limits. To summarize: “no,”
means, “no,” for both parties, full stop.
Sometimes it’s OK to Stick with the Classics
While love and relationships continue to evolve and
progress, I will never not try and instill a sense of the
“classic gentlemen,” in my son. In this household we:
• open car doors and pull out chairs
• greet each other in the mornings and say goodnight
before bed
• send flowers just because
• dress to impress
• offer to pay on dates
• hold hands and walk nearest to the curb
Talking to your pre-teen son about dating may seem
exhaustive and uncomfortable (it is), but it is a crucial
aspect of his overall development. By initiating open, nonjudgmental
conversations, teaching the importance of
respect and emotional intelligence, and sharing your own
experiences, you can guide your son through this exciting
yet challenging phase of life.
Keep in mind that, at the end of the day, the goal of
raising sons is simple: to raise conscious, empathetic, and
productive young men who are of benefit to society. •
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