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◆ ◆ What Are the Characteristics of Rae Federico, MSW, LCSW My wish is to empower everyone with an enriched self-understanding, and to refine your sensibilities which will create a life long awareness towards selfcompassion. We need to remember that our parents did not have an agenda to hurt us intentionally. They did the best they could do with the information they had. We learn from our parents, who learned from their parents, who learned from their parents. Knowledge is power and we all have the ability to change old patterns and create healthy new patterns. A dysfunctional family is one in which members suffer from fear, anger, pain or shame that is denied or ignored. Underlying problems can include any of the following: 1.) A family member with an addiction 2.) The existence of some form of abuse 3.) A family member suffering from a chronic mental or physical illness When any of the above issues are not acknowledged or confronted, the result is repression of emotions and disregard for individual needs. Mercer County Woman Health & Medicine Living in a Dysfunctional Family? Family members become “survivors”, and they develop behaviors that help them to deny, ignore or avoid difficult problems or emotions. These family members become detached and fear confrontation. They experience issues with regard to trust and their development is inhibited. The family is focused on the family member “with the problem”. Family members who do not “have the problem” sacrifice their own needs in an effort to take care of the person who is “sick”. When family members place the “person with the problem” before their own needs, they often lose contact with their own desires, needs and sense of self. Identifying Characters of Co-Dependent Family Members 1. Fear of losing control. They need to maintain their feelings and behavior, and they try to control the feelings and behaviors of others. They are afraid that their lives will worsen if they relax their control. 2. Fear of feelings: From childhood on they have buried their feelings (especially anger sadness) – eventually all intense feelings are feared – even joy and happiness. 3. Fear of conflict: They fear people in authority and they fear angry people. They are always seeking approval. 4. An overdeveloped sense of responsibility. They are hypersensitive to the needs of others. Their self esteem comes from how others view them. They need to be perfect. 5. Feelings of guilt when they stand up for themselves rather than giving in to others. They sacrifice their own needs in an effort to be “responsible” and to avoid guilt. 6. They have an inability to relax, let go, and have fun. They feel they don’t deserve to have have fun. They live in a world of denial, especially when they feel threatened. 8. They have difficulties with intimate relationships. Intimacy leaves these individuals feeling out of control. Intimacy requires self love and being comfortable with the expression of one’s own needs. Often relationship patterns are repeated without growth. 9. They live life from the viewpoint of a victim. They are often attracted to other victims. 10. Compulsive behavior. They may eat or drink or work compulsively or behave in other compulsive ways. 11. They tend to be more comfortable with chaos than with security, because they are more familiar with the drama. 12. They tend to confuse love with pity. Because of this confusion, they frequently “love” people they can feel sorry for and rescue. 13. They lack trust and have a fear of abandonment. They will hold on to a relationship “no matter what” to avoid the pain of abandonment. 14. They have a tendency toward physical complaints and often suffer higher rates of stress related illnesses. 5. They are suffering from a backlog of delayed grief. Losses experienced during childhood were never grieved because these families would not tolerate such intense feelings. Today, without calling up these past feelings, losses cannot be felt. As a result, these individuals may feel depressed often. 16. They choose reaction over action. They are hypervigilant looking for potential problems they can feed into. 17. They have developed harsh, even fierce self criticism. They have a low sense of self esteem, regardless of how attractive, intelligent or competent they are. ◆ ◆ Rae R. Federico, MSW, LCSW Straube Office Center 108 West Franklin Pennington, New Jersey 08534 609-818-1166 Now Licensed in PA & NJ THE POWER OF GUIDED IMAGERY Guided Visualization is an extremely powerful tool which can be instrumental in healing both physical and emotional illnesses. My CD, “Emotional Healing & Empowerment” will help you to become more centered, more peaceful and more self-accepting. Our minds are thought fields and our bodies are molecule fields. These two fields are interwoven so that disturbances in one generates a disturbance in the other. When we are composed, our thoughts are impulses of balance and creativity and our bodies experience comfort and ease. When we are enduring mental and emotional turbulence our bodies and our minds experience this turmoil as discomfort and agitation. When facing the stress of a serious illness, we compound the anguish in both our bodies and our minds through obsessive thoughts, and the corresponding anxiety we feel, is felt in our bodies. Every thought triggers emotions that provoke more thoughts and feelings. Often we generate a loop of mind body turbulence that takes on a life of its own. Meditation Techniques and Guided Visualization (Imagery) can encourage a calm and open mind. This experience can provide the best opportunity for sending healing messages to our bodies. Guided Imagery can assist you in minimizing and managing pain, increase your energy and stamina, reduce stress and anxiety, boost the immune system and reduce high blood pressure. Individuals who meditate over an extended period of time have reported mental and psychological benefits. SOME OF THE BENEFITS OF GUIDED IMAGERY • INCREASED ABILITY TO BE CALM • IMPROVED FOCUS • IMPROVED SLEEP • DEEPER CONTACT WITH YOUR SPIRITUAL ESSENCE • MORE CONTROL OVER FEELINGS AND SELF • MORE CONTROL OVER PAIN. ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION • CLEARER SENSE OF YOUR GOALS • GREATER FEELINGS OF OPTIMISM The benefits are extensive. Guided Imagery can reduce stress as well as treat the many stress related physical conditions that are a by-product of stress including headaches, muscle spasms and chronic pain. For years, it has been documented that Guided Imagery is an important part of many treatment programs for a variety of diseases. Guided Imagery has the potential to influence the autonomic nervous system. Your imagination can be recruited to help you enhance specific psychological changes that can aid healing. Case studies have shown that certain Guided Imagery techniques my stimulate physiologic processes, strengthen the immune system response which may enhance and accelerate healing. There is no physical symptom or illness that is not affected to some degree by the mind. Guided Imagery is an effective tool, which can be used to mobilize the latent and innate healing capabilities that you already possess in an effort to support rehabilitation and good health. Your mind does not know the difference between a lie and the truth, it only knows what you tell it. To Order “EMOTIONAL HEALING & EMPOWERMENT” today, Please send a certified check or money order in the amount of $20.00 (this includes shipping and handling) to: Rae R. Federico, LCSW The Straube Center 108 W. Franklin Pennington, New Jersey 08438 GIVE YOURSELF THE GIFT OF HEALING When we begin to understand our past, we can empower ourselves and transform our lives. When we begin to discuss our experiences we will to use the transformation to heal. We don’t awaken once but a number of times. We don’t tell our story once, we tell it many times. As we begin to identify our losses from our past, and also our present, we will grieve them as they come up, and heal again and again. 10 March / April 08
The chin and neck have long been a difficult area to treat cosmetically. As we lose volume in our face, the skin will frequently sag below our chin giving a loose, aged appearance. One should take care with prevention. Any topical treatment you might use on your face should be applied to your chin as well, in an upward sweeping motion. In the past, we were limited to neck lifts or traditional liposuction in this area to achieve any noticeable difference. These procedures are quite invasive and carry all the risks associated with general anesthesia. Once again, technology has come up with a new advance that is minimally invasive for this hard to treat area. Using the New ProLipo laser, we can now melt and remove the excess fat that has accumulated in that area. The advantage of the ProLipo laser over the better known Smart Lipo laser is that ProLipo will also treat with a second wavelength that will tighten the skin. The entire procedure is done while you are awake, using local anesthesia and Mercer County Woman Health & Medicine ◆ ◆ Get Rid of That Double Chin! Dr. Sharon Gertzman no discomfort. You can return to normal activity the next day wearing a wrap to support the area. After two to three days, any minor swelling has resolved and you are able to see an immediate result from the removal of fat. Over the next several weeks the tightening results become more and more apparent, as the skin around your chin becomes more adherent to your jaw line. This procedure can also be used on other, difficult to manage body areas, such as arms, abdomen, flanks, saddlebags, thighs and buttocks. Any area with excess fat that has not responded to diet and exercise, responds wonderfully to this state of the art technology. ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ As always, at Serenity Medical Spa, we encourage you to come in for a free consultation. Dr. Gertzman is happy to evaluate your individual needs and discuss the options available to you. Call the office at (609) 737-7737 or schedule yourself at www.SerenityNJ.com. ◆ ◆ LAWRENCEVILLE HYPNOSIS CENTER (609) 203-4113 ADVANCED CLINICAL HYPNOSIS & White Light REIKI Carmina Alvarez-Gaffin, ACHt. Weight Reduction Stress Management Sports Mental Coaching Spiritual Hypnosis REIKI Classes and Sessions Complete Health & Chiropractic Center 3131 Princeton Pike, Bldg. 1A, Lawrenceville, NJ También se ofrece hipnosis y Reiki en español “Love, honor and negotiate.” —Alan Loy McGinnis 11 March / April 08
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