“Dialogue – possible between leader and follower?” - Ashridge

• All members of the group seem remarkably busy and our busyness means
we face many competing commitments. This has led to the question ‘is
this time in together worthwhile’….’I could be doing x’. This can lead away
from dialogue however the voicing of it has paradoxically aided dialogue
indicating the importance of openness and honesty in relation to dialogue.
• We have reflected on the need to ‘seem’ rather than ‘be’ as Buber puts it.
In the case of this group we have mainly recognised ‘the need to seem
clever’. We have wanted others in the group to admire us. Again, this
could certainly get in the way of dialogue, but in disclosing this need has
brought us closer together. I have experienced this need in particular in
my role as facilitator; wanting others to see me as a good facilitator, or
actually even more so - an expert facilitator. This inevitably takes me
away from being present; I am too focused on what I might say next,
what I should be doing, or what others might think of me.
• Finally we have had a few occasions where we have misrepresented
others, misunderstood what others have said and misconstrued meaning
of actions taken. Argyris’ ladder of inference (1982) comes to mind here
and the way in which we ‘fill in the gaps’ of our understanding, often in
ways which we don’t realise and therefore don’t question and as a result
we are taken further away from meeting each other in dialogue
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