Earning his Spurs - Pitchcare

There was a time, within the
lifespan of people now
reading this article, when we
would all bite our lips and
accept that some things were
not up for discussion in the
workplace.
But that was then, and this is
now. People are much more
socially confident these days
and more people are better
educated than ever before.
Nowadays, people are more
open and expect others to be
open with them.
So, when people (especially
colleagues and bosses) are
not open and honest with us,
it can lead to a lot of
frustration and anxiety. We
may even feel that ‘they
should know better than to
treat me this way’.
Avoiding by promising to
speak, but then never
actually getting around to it
An increased awareness of
how others can, and will,
react has caused many
people, who fear the
consequences of openness, to
devise and deploy ever more
sophisticated ways of
avoiding being open with
others. Here’s ten to start you
off. Please add any others,
which you have experienced
yourself that are not listed
here.
1. Telling lies, that have
some plausibility, to fob
people off
2. Telling half-truths, that
sound convincing, so that
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Why won’t you be
open with me?
people go away
3. Distracting people with
(say) humour or other
issues to get them off
track
4. Changing the subject or
re-prioritising other
issues, so that they talk
about something else - at
least for the time being
5. Delaying the discussion,
as in ‘I can’t talk right
now - I’ll get back to you’
6. Claiming that they ‘do
not know the full picture’
so cannot really comment
7. Quoting precedent, e.g.
‘that’s not the way we do
things around here’
8. Avoiding by promising to
speak, but then never
actually getting around to
it
9. Feigning sensitivity - ‘I
can’t say anything, I do
not want to risk hurt
anyone’s feelings - at this
stage’
10. Claiming ignorance of a
situation, but all the time
avoiding finding out, as
in ‘Don’t say anything to
me - then I will not have
to lie to keep people
happy’
There is evidence that
overwhelmingly supports the
view that people want others
to be open with them.
Openness is seen as being far
preferable to being ‘kept in
the dark’ about something
important.
Part 2: Options and
Opportunities
In Part 1, Performance Consultant and Conference
Speaker, Frank Newberry, made the case for more
openness in the workplace.
In the second and final part of his article, he
looks at the methods people use to avoid being
open and honest in the workplace, and how we
can tackle this problem in ourselves and in
others.
Betrayal can live in the
memory for a lifetime
People, on key matters, like
bad news, can get very angry
if information is known by
others but withheld or not
shared immediately. Not
sharing difficult information
can sometimes be seen as a
betrayal, and betrayal can live
in the memory for a lifetime.
We need some strategies that
will, somehow, get the person
- who is not being open with
us - to feel more confident,
and to believe that being
more open is the best option
for all concerned. If we,
ourselves, are not being open
when appropriate, then we
need to understand that we
may not just be part of the
problem, we may actually BE
the problem!
First of all, those of us in
management positions need
to set a good example of
openness and honesty in the
workplace. If you have ever
been guilty of the sins listed
in 1-10 above, chances are
people have already found
out that you can’t deal with
the truth, and morale and
performance have already
started to decline.
Five Key Strategies or
Options
Strategies 1, 2 and 3 are
mainly preventative, and 4
and 5 are principally
remedial in nature. All can be
a great opportunity for you,
but will need to be done in
private, and in strict
confidence.
1. Set up Feedback Contracts
This is a good way to start
being more open at work. It
is usually done on a one-toone
basis, where two people
agree how, and when,
feedback at work will be
given and received. People
decide what news or
information should be
included, and the process can
be undertaken regularly and
then reviewed at agreed
intervals.
2. Have a Team Discussion
This is very similar to
number 1 above and, again,
it is a good starting point for
more openness. On this
occasion, the whole team
agree how and when
feedback at work will be
given and received. People
decide what news or
information should be
included, what should be
shared with the team and
what should be done one-toone.
Again, the process can
be undertaken regularly and
then reviewed at agreed
intervals.
3. Exchange Perceptions and
Expectations
This is probably best done
one-to-one, and is very useful
when people are not as aware
as they should be of the
impact that their behaviour
has on others. It is very
important that this process is
not one-sided or dominated
by one person. It is