Frank Magazine Issue 578.pdf - Besthostingplanever.com

MORE
MORE
SOUTH SOUTH END
END
PONZI PONZI SCHEME
SCHEME
NEWS!
NEWS!
WIDOW’S
WIDOW’S
WIDOW’S
SHOCKING
SHOCKING
SHOCKING
COURTHOUSE
COURTHOUSE
COURTHOUSE
CONFESSION!
CONFESSION!
CONFESSION!
More shocking
than her moooo-ve
to Fairview?
KINK STINK:
FRANK FETISH
FEATURE
FALLOUT
FRANK BY NAME, FRANK BY NATURE
ISSUE 578 GOOD TIL FEBRUARY 16, 2010 $3.00
FABULOUS FRED’S
‘CRIMINAL’ MIND

RUSHING TO MAKE IT TO PRESS LAST TIME ELLEN’S GRAPHIC DESIGNER DAD, DENNIS
AROUND, I NEGLECTED TO MENTION THAT PAGE, AND HIS BROTHERS, RETIRED
IN HER WILL, ELLEN PAGE’S LOCKEPORT SHELBURNE COUNTY TEACHER LAURIE
GRANDMA KATHLEEN MARIE PAGE DE- PAGE AND KEMPT ROAD GREASE MONKEY
CLARED THAT HER ESTATE (CURRENTLY VAL- EXTRAORDINAIRE BURT “EUROWERKS”
UED AT $67,100) BE DIVIDED EQUALLY PAGE. AFTER ANY/ALL OF THE BILLS ARE
Kathleen Marie Page AMONG HER THREE EXECUTOR SONS: PAID, OF COURSE.
Ellen Page
TWEETS OF THE WEEK
Follow Frank on Twitter at www.twitter.com/Atlantic_Frank. Because you never know when
Frank may be watching.
� � �
� Halifax Port Authority hires Newf
Michelle French (Who she? — ed.) to
replace Gordie Helms as head of port
security. (Tweeted Jan.
29)
� Follow hometown
hero Alden Brown
(Frank 577) on Twitter
@PeterNorth.
(Tweeted Jan. 29)
� (Prosecutor) Darrell
Martin just stepped on
my foot. (Tweeted Jan.
28)
� How long has Perks
been flogging the
Alden/Peter Herald on its coffee
cups? (Tweeted Jan.
28)
GRANDMA PAGE’S LAST WISHES
2 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK FEBRUARY 16, 2010
� Tradewinds lists the old Conquerall Mills
abode of Frank-famous RN Kim Slack and
hubby Stephen (Frank 574) for $219,000.
Owner: E. Christie. (Tweeted Jan. 27)
� Lib Leader Steve
McNeil spotted earlier
in a corner booth @
the Bluenose Rest. w/
a shorter lady w/
darker features
discussing high-rise
developments.
(Tweeted Jan. 27,
morning)
� A lesser person
might suggest this isn’t
the first time Gail
Shea had a pie shoved
Steve McNeil
in her face. Only this time she didn’t order it
herself. (Tweeted Jan. 27)
Gail Shea
� Joan Harlow, widow of Shelburne
County construction czar Allister Harlow
(Harlow Construction), and mother of JetCo
Contracting principal Alan Harlow, has
passed away. (Tweeted Jan. 26)
� What the hell is Maria Panopalis
wearing tonight on Nightside? (Tweeted Jan.
25)
� More and more of the Herald’s so-called
NovaScotian appears to be anything but ...
(Tweeted Jan. 24)
� Glad to see St.
Ignatius in Bedford
corrected the spelling of
the word “victim,”
previously “vichim,” on
its dbl-sided billboard.
(Tweeted Jan. 21)
� (Radio dude) Andrew
Krystal just called Chris
d’Entremont “one of the
most effective members
of the previous gov’t.”
Huh? (Tweeted Jan. 20)
� @trumped 2010 is
our 500th
(Twitter)
follower.
(Tweeted Jan.
20)
� How long
has CTV’s
Andy Campbell
had an
earring? He
should focus on
finding a shirt
that fits
properly.
(Tweeted Jan.
19)
� Andrew
Krystal spotted
at Reflections.
(Tweeted Jan.
17)
� (Port guy)
David
Henderson
spotted at
Reflections
(Tweeted Jan.
17)
Andy Campbell
sans earring.
David Henderson

ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK
HALIFAX, NOVA SCOTIA
ISSUE 578
FEBRUARY 16, 2010
As President & C.E.O. of Frankcadian
Bus Lines Ltd., the region’s foremost
inter-city coach service, I am, of course,
proud of our growing commitment to our
many customers.
As the leader in scheduled passenger
transportation we refuse to rest on our
laurels, and so in an effort to serve you
better I am pleased to announce that as of
April 1, 2010, departures from Sydney to
Halifax will no longer take Highway 104,
or the Trans-Canada 105.
Passengers will now board at the Two
Rivers Wildlife Park, the coach will then
depart for Halifax via the Mira River,
Middle River, Margaree River, North
River, Salmon River and Baddeck River,
with stops to be made in Sand Lake,
Grand Lake, the Bras d’Or Lake, and
Lake Ainslie.
Please note also, that in order to
maintain consumer confidence,
Frankcadian Bus Lines Ltd. has relaxed
our baggage restrictions to allow you to
carry on your: hip-waders; inflatable
dinghy; diving mask; snorkel; and/or a
small kayak; or thermal insulated dry suit,
all of which can readily be stored in the
easy-to-open spacious luggage compartment
above your seat. As well, water skis
can also be brought on board as long as
they are, for the safety of all passengers,
tucked securely under your seat.
Remember, during your voyage, a
Frankcadian bus in not just your home —
it’s your personal flotation device!
Sincerely,
Sincerely,
Jacques Jacques Cousteau Cousteau
Cousteau
President President & & CEO
CEO
Frankcadian Frankcadian Frankcadian Bus Bus Lines Lines Ltd.
Ltd.
Atlantic Canada Frank is a magazine of news,
satire, opinion, comment and humour published
every two weeks by Coltsfoot Publishing Co. Ltd.
Copyright Coltsfoot Publishing Ltd. Mailing address:
Frank Magazine, P.O. Box 295, Halifax,
B3J 2N7. Subscriptions: see back page. Publications
Mail Agreement No. 40050490; P.A.P. No.
8158. Phone: 420-1668. Fax: 423-0281. E-mail:
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca. Toll-free Tips Hotline:
1-888-335-5505. Frank acknowledges the financial
support of the Government of Canada
through the Publications Assistance Program
(PAP) towards our mailing costs. Letters, see
Pages 30, 31.
The old Victoria Hotel, later Victoria Apartments (top) and the demolition aftermath.
MEMORIES
OF OLD
HALIFAX
For those of you who rarely make the trip to Downtown
Halifax (and really, why would you bother?), I
thought you might appreciate a rare glimpse of two
downtown landmarks. The former Zive Familyowned
apartment building has already disappeared
from the corner of Hollis and Morris to make way
for Louie Lawen’s new condo complex, while the
storied Herald building on Argyle, owned by Joe
Ramia, is in the process of being taken down.
The Grand Old Lady of Argyle Street, in her final days.
FEBRUARY 16, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 3

WHAT NOT TO
WEAR WHEN
NOT IN THE JOINT
BY S. TEEM
AFTER SPENDING THE LAST FEW YEARS HELPING FAT PEOPLE
FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES ON THE CABLE TELEVISION PRO-
GRAM X-WEIGHTED, HALIFAX’S OWN (ONLY? — ED.) SELF-ES-
TEEM EXPERT FRED CONNORS IS SETTING HIS SIGHTS ON AN EVEN,
ER, BIGGER CHALLENGE. SO TO SPEAK.
Fred says if all goes according to plan, he’ll soon be headed behind
bars to coach prisoners on how to successfully reintegrate into society.
Although the working title of the program is Criminal Makeover,
Fred says he’ll be helping his subjects with far more than their physical
appearance.
“I’m not going into prison to give them a haircut and apply some
bronzer,” he says, adding that the show is about “helping people to be
everything they can be ... if I can get them to feel better about themselves
along the way, so be it.”
The people he’ll be working with will be incarcerated and preparing
to leave the prison system, or already out on parole and attempting to
make their way. (You reading this Peggy Draper? — ed.) None of his
subjects will be career criminals, rather people who have made mistakes
in their lives and want to do better.
“There’s a stigma in being an ex-con that can close a lot of doors,”
says Fred, and he’ll be helping them with common issues like education,
housing, employment, and mending ties with their family.
Although the show is still in development, a video crew is already
making the rounds, quietly scouting for potential candidates. He’s refusing
to discuss details about who else is involved, or name any of the
several broadcasters across Canada and the U.S. he says are interested
in the show. But he’s adamant that it’s his baby.
“I came to the table with the idea ... I’m the passion behind the project,”
he says.
Does Frank Know?
News Tips
Hotline
1-888-
335-5505
www.atlanticfrank.ca
Dan
Moreland
4 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK FEBRUARY 16, 2010
Fred Connors at the recent
Blind Date With A Star! charity
event (see pages 24, 25).
Some of that passion obviously stems from his work with community
outreach groups like Adsum House, Stepping Stone, Family SOS,
and the fact that he has befriended many of their clients along the
way. He plans on tapping into that established network to help the
subjects of his show. But it’s not all about social work.
There’s a larger-than-life showmanship to the 42ish Halifax native
that’s apparent whether you’re having a chat with him on the telephone,
watching him on television, or sitting in his namesake Agricola Street
salon/cafe/art gallery, marvelling at the beautiful mind that gave birth
to such a funky space.
Criminal Makeover won’t be any different, I don’t imagine. Think Extreme
Home Makeover-meets-Cops-meets-What Not to Wear. Treacly,
gritty and fabulous all wrapped into one half-hour package.
Does Frank Know? atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
A STEADY HAND
ON THE TILL
BY S. N. BAD
FROM HIGH UP IN THE FRANKLAND CROW’S
NEST, I SPY PICTON CASTLE SKIPPER DAN
MORELAND, WHO’S ANCHORING THE $14 MIL-
LION TAXPAYER-FUNDED BLUENOSE II RESTO-
RATION.
Far from being press-ganged into service,
Tourism Dept. spokesthingy Mike Noonan
tells me that seafarer Dan is working as a technical
adviser for MHPM Project Managers
Inc., the international fix-it firm overseeing the
seaworthiness of Nova Scotia’s sailing ambassador.
Stephen Vaslet is vp Atlantic for MHPM.
Ahoy, mateys!

POOR DR.
ISLAM’S
WORKPLACE,
HOMELIFE
& TUMMY
TROUBLES
BY MARY I. TAHLWOES
DALHOUSIE SPOKESTHINGY CHARLES
CROSBY TELLS ME ENGINEERING PROF
RAFIQUL ISLAM REMAINS ON THE UNI’S
PAYROLL, BUT WILL NOT COMMENT ON HIS
CURRENT EMPLOYMENT STATUS, DEEMING
THE MATTER “A PERSONNEL ISSUE.”
According to a recent N.S. Supreme Court
divorce suit between the celebrated academic
— he once told me “I am the most published
petroleum engineer in the history of mankind,”
(Frank 445) — and his estranged wife Serperi
Sevgur, Judge Douglas Campbell noted that
Dr. Islam “is presently on a paid leave of absence
at the insistence of his employer for
circumstances that have not been fully explained
to the court.”
According to Judge Campbell’s December
1 decision, Dr. Islam’s Dal absence is the subject
of a grievance which was “initially pursued
on his behalf by the (Dal) Faculty Association
but an indication was given that (the
DFA) no longer intends to take part. It is unclear
how much longer the process will take
and what the outcome will be ... [But the court
is assured] that discipline generally and job
termination specifically are not among the
possibilities.”
Unfortunately, I can not shed any light on
this bizarre situation, as I was unable to reach
Dr. Islam, who was Dal’s first Killam Chair in
Oil & Gas, and the DFA grievance committee
chairperson Carrie Dawson, the English and
Canadian Studies prof, did not return my message.
Sadly, the job front is not the only area where
Dr. Islam is facing challenges these days.
Judge Campbell noted that the alienated couple
must sell their Dartmouth house, which
he values at $350,000, since their “finances
are out of control.” For Campbell, $31,000
credit card debts, $17,000 car loan and a
$46,000 mortgage apparently constitute “out
of control.”
Court papers indicate that Rafiqul and
Serperi, who separated over two years ago
but still live in the matrimonial home together
with their two young sons (“There have been
various tensions arising from this arrangement,”
Campbell wrote), subsist almost entirely
off Dr. Islam’s $150,000-per Dal salary.
Eating into this income are private school
costs ($1,300 a month), car payments ($1,200
monthly) and a diet heavy on organically
grown food, “Some of which has to be imported
at great cost,” which the judge pegs at
$2,500 monthly, or $30,000 a year.
It all adds up to a significant shortfall which
Judge Campbell hopes can be erased by a
Dr. Islam
LAST POST AT FAIRVIEW
sale of the matrimonial home.
As chronicled previously by my organ, relations
between Dr. Islam and Dal rarely resembled
a honeymoon period. The rift apparently
widened a few years back, when Dal hung civil
engineering dept. head Dr. Islam out to dry
by refusing to defend him in a civil lawsuit over
a disputed contract, brought against both the
uni and Dr. Islam by former employee Qamar
Malik (Frank 429), who long since left the
province for the sunny Tar Sands of Alberta.
I distinctly recall Dr. Islam, in his quiet voice
and always polite manner, telling me that he
found Dal’s legal abandonment of him “heartbreaking.”
And the Bangladesh-born academic
then added philosophically, “But so
what? I’m not going to be bitter by it.”
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
BY MAJOR U.P. HEAVAL
NEW FAIRVIEW LEGION PRESIDENT NEIL LANDRY DID NOT WISH
TO DISCUSS HIS PREDECESSOR PETER HANSON, WHEN I REACHED
HIM AT THE HILLCREST STREET BRANCH THE OTHER AFTERNOON.
Neil did confirm that he assumed command of Legion 142 since Peter’s
abrupt exit, which I believe occurred on January 15. Unfortunatley
our brief conversation ended before I could ask Neil to comment on an
unsubstantiated report that the outgoing president isn’t expected to visit
legion property again until 2011.
I was unable to contact Peter, whose Fairview reign I am told lasted
about a year, or as some schadenfreude fanatics are now putting it, about
Peter Hanson
a year too long.
The Fairview legion received its charter in January 1952, and now has a membership over
700.
Nova Scotia/Nunavut Command prezzie Steve Wessel did not return my message.
FEBRUARY 16, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 5

OH, NO, HE DIDN’T!
BY A.R. O’GANT
FRANK’S HYPOCRITE OF THE WEEK! AWARD GOES
TO SENATOR WILLY MOORE FOR DEMANDING MORE
ACCOUNTABILITY FROM STEPHEN HARPER, OUR FED-
ERAL PROROGUE AND PADLOCK FANATIC.
I’m shure I’m not alone in thinking that Willy’s argument would
hold more water, if only he would finally relinquish his Bluenose
II Preservation Trust Society treasure chest, which he’s been
clutching tightly for nearly five years, to the province.
The Trust holds over $945,000 in assets (Frank 576).
Apparently Senator Willy, just like our prime minister, is
accountable to no one but himself. The only difference is,
Harper can always be booted out of office, but $132,300per
Free Willy, 68, gets to enjoy his Upper Chambers entitlements,
uninterrupted, for the next seven years.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
Gary, you’re the fattest
minister of sport I’ve ever seen.
GOLD
MEDAL FOR
SPENDING
6 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK FEBRUARY 16, 2010
Senator Willy Moore
BY JIM DROPOUT
LADIES AND GERMS, THE
OLYMPIC TORCH EX-
TRAVAGANZA IS BURNING
THROUGH TAXPAYER DOL-
LARS LIKE A FOUR-ALARM
FIRE.
And, faster than you can
say “Ben Johnson on
‘roids,” it seems that our
federal Sports Minister
Gary Lunn is on the verge
of setting new records in
public spending waste. Gary Lunn with his buddy Quati, the Olympic mascot.
Though the final tally is not yet in, heck, the mately, we have Adolf Hitler’s Nazi Regime
2010 Games shitstorm has hardly begun, Gar- to thank for the Grecian formula flame relay,
gantuan Gary got the debt ball rolling back in which was first added in 1936 to the Berlin
October by squandering $11,375, when he games.
jetted to Athens for the historic Olympic torch As of December 1, for 2009, the
lighting.
Garymeister blew $141,275 in travel on the
I guess someone had to hold the fire extin- taxpayer dime. Quite the Olympian feat,
guishers in case Dick Pound got too close to wouldn’t you say?
the flame. Good work, Gary! Of course, ulti- O Oy Canada!
ANOTHER
BUM DAY
ON THE DOCKS
BY LOU ZURE
WHO WAS THE BIGGEST LOSER IN
STEPHEN HARPER’S JANUARY 19 CABI-
NET SHUFFLE? TRY HALIFAX PORT AU-
THORITY CZARINA KAREN OLDFIELD.
The shuffle proved a double-whammy for
Karen, as it stripped her regional pointman
Peter MacKay of endlesss pools of federal
dollars, via ACOA and the Atlantic Gateway.
The fact that her ally Peter no longer handles
these money-chucking portfolios, which Harper
handed to New Brunswicker Keith Ashfield,
must be seen as a setback for Halifax.
After all, Keith’s job is to advocate for
Irvingland New Brunswick, and you can bet
that now Moncton and its airport will reap the
Gateway funding benefits. Keith may even
decide that enhanced air cargo infrastructure
has greater priority than Karen’s port-related
projects, and he would likely be more sympathetic
than Peter to Moncton’s aim of toppling
Halifax as the regional business hub of the
Maritimes.
In another worrisome development, Harper’s
rearrangment of cabinet deck chairs also
made Stockwell Day, the new head of the allpowerful
Treasury Board, the Minister for the
Asia-Pacific Gateway. How can Stock’s big
promotion, to oversee the bustling West
Coast trade coridoor, negatively impact
Karen, you ask?
Under Ms. Oldfield’s leadership, the Port of
Halifax’s attempts to attract Far East container
traffic have met with minimal success,
and now Stock is sure to throw federal dollars
at the Port of Prince Rupert, the B.C.
superport that in 2009, in a historic global
economic meltdown, handled 49.5% more
container traffic (in TEUs) than the year before.
The sad reality is, a supersized Port of
Prince Rupert will continue to attract business,
and slowly choke off smaller, less significant
ports, like Halifax has become under Ms.
Oldfield. Halifax’s container volumes are
nearly half what they were when Karen started
seven years ago, a nightmarish trend that
continued in 2009.
In a few years of rapid growth, Prince Rupert
is now roughly equal to Halifax in processing
cargo, but one port is on its way up, and one
is not.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca

LOOSE LIPS SINK BISHOPS
BY CARDINAL SYNN
NEARLY THREE YEARS AFTER TERRENCE
PRENDERGAST LEFT HIS SEAT AT THE HEAD
OF THE ROMAN CATHOLIC ARCHDIOCESE OF
HALIFAX TO BECOME ARCHBISHOP OF
OTTAWA, NEWS OF OL’ PRENDY’S ANTICS
CONTINUES TO FASCINATE.
Most recently, I hear that the 65-year-old
Montreal native has incensed fellow Jesuits
the world over by printing gossip about a fellow
holy man — no less a giant of Catholicism
than Cardinal George Pell of Sydney,
Australia — in a recent blog posting.
On January 26, during a recent trip to Rome
for a meeting of something called the Vox
Clara committee, Archbish Terry for some reason
saw fit to announce, at archbishop
terry.blogspot.com, that committee chair Pell
“had a pacemaker installed at the Gemelli
Hospital after having difficulties on arrival in
Rome.”
Problem is, according to my source, it’s not
true. The posting disappeared from the Archbishop’s
blog almost immediately, and the next
day there appeared a photo of the Cardinal,
looking hale and hearty, going about his committee-chairing
duties.
The person answering the phone at Pell’s
office Downunder (that’s coming out of your
paycheque — ed.) seemed mystified about
my questions regarding the Cardinal’s health,
HOLY
WRIT
and I still haven’t heard back from an Ottawa
Archdiocese spokesthingy about the circumstances
that led to the errant communique.
Incidentally, the Vox Clara committee is a
12-member body which is currently presiding
over an English translation of the Roman
Missal, which I understand is the liturgical
book containing texts relating to the celebration
of Mass. I don’t know about you, but I
could’ve sworn the last time I was in a Catholic
church the priest was already speaking in
my native tongue, but then again he was a bit
mumbly so I couldn’t tell for sure.
Nevertheless, isn’t it comforting to know
that, while the Antigonish Diocese and other
Catholic precincts in North America and beyond
are struggling to pay multi-million dollar
abuse settlements with no help from the Vatican,
the Holy See is sparing no expense for
a task that could be accomplished by any yahoo
with a Latin-English dictionary and a few
decades to kill?
In other Catholic news, former Antigonish
Bishop Raymond Lahey who as far as I know
is still crashing at Prendy’s place in Ottawa,
A TIDY SOUTH END LEGACY
BY WILL N. TESTAMENT
CHARTERED ACCOUNTANT H. ROBERT
HEMMING, A PAST N.S. LIBERAL PARTY
TREASURER AND CHARTER MEMBER OF THE
SOUTH END ESTABLISHMENT, LEFT A TIDY
$1.5-MILLION ESTATE MOSTLY EARMARKED
FOR HIS WIFE AND TWO SONS.
Acting chair of Halifax Herald Inc. and a
long-time confidante of Graham Dennis, Bob,
the son of a Halifax builder, began his illustrious
beancounter career in 1964 with Crowell,
Balcom & Company, becoming a KPMG senior
partner after the firms merged. He practised
in his own Hemming Weir Casey firm
(est. 1975) until retiring at about age 70.
But Bob, prez of Towerview Apartments
Inc., owner of the Kings and Queens Court
rental pads at 50 Towerview Place in Sydney
(ass. $2.4 million), did not slow down in
retirement, joining the TSX-traded Atlantic
Industrial Minerals board just last March.
Bob hopped aboard AIM as director and CFO
along with Antigonish bizman and Piper’s
Pub owner Colin J. MacDonald, his former
board colleague at Seabright Resources. That
N.S. gold mining venture spawned a legal quagmire
in the late 1980s-early 1990s, after its
acquisition by an Aussie outfit.
The Hemming estate includes $1,359,000
in personal property and $142,300 in real
property, subject to final inventory. In his September
2005 will, Bob makes wife Margo the
beneficiary of his various RRSPs, and signs
over to Margo his interest in their 52
Briarwood Crescent abode (ass. $309,000)
and Towerview apartment building.
Son Jeffrey, who I believe works in the hotel
biz, is bequeathed the cottage property in
Seabright, while son Stanley receives a lump
sum of equivalent amount.
Bob earmarks $10,000 to daughter Heather,
a United Church minister out West. She is
the only child of his first marriage, which ended
with his wife’s death. Margo is Bob’s second
wife, and the mother of Jeff and Stan.
I’m the Bish
with the dish!
Archbish Terry Prendergast
is scheduled once again to answer to those
pesky child pornography charges on February
3, one day after this edition of Frank appears
on Nova Scotian newsstands.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
Aside from dividing the remainder of his
estate between Jeff and Stan, Bob’s only other
bequest is a $10,000 gift to the Canadian Red
Cross.
Krever Commission followers may recall
Bob’s testimony as Red Cross national prez
and board chairman from 1989-1991, and his
previous board experience spanned some of
the darkest days of the tainted blood scandal.
In 1990, under Bob, the disgraced organization
finally started direct screening for Hepatitis
C, but it was far too late. And even after
1990, according to the CBC, unscreened
plasma in blood products continued to make
it into the veins of ordinary Canadians, possibly
for another two years, a senseless and
massive institutional failure on both sides of
the U.S.-Canada border.
Politically, Bob was a backroom player, and
looked up to his mentor and fellow CA, Senator
Irvine Barrow, although Halifax Curling
Club and Metro Food Bank booster Bob certainly
did not rival Barrow in the troughing
department.
Bob Hemming died at the VG palliative care
unit on December 26. He was 73.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
FEBRUARY 16, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 7

WIDOW MACCULLOCH VS. THE MAN
BY I. NOBLOW
IF I HADN’T WITNESSED IT WITH MY
OWN EYES, I WOULDN’T BELIEVE IT.
Surrounded by a small cadre of supporters
on the fifth floor of the Halifax
Law Courts at 9:15 on the morning of
January 27 — just minutes before
showtime — Patricia MacCulloch, the
74-year-old star of stage and screen,
a woman who once grabbed Robert
Goulet by the throat and threatened
to give him a public beating with her
bare hands, made an unthinkable confession:
she was frightened.
Soon, Patricia would be representing
herself in front of Justice Art
Pickup in Courtroom 503, arguing
that her August 13 conviction for refusing
the breathalyser during a traffic
stop last spring should be thrown out.
She was handed a $1,000 fine and a
year’s driving ban upon conviction, although
both punishments have been
delayed pending the outcome of her
N.S. Court of Appeal case.
Patricia believes that forcing people
to submit to roadside breathalyser tests
violates the Charter of Rights. She
wasn’t committing a crime by refusing
the test, rather she was opting not to
“perpetrate a defective Act.”. In addition,
nobody told her that there would be consequences
for her refusal.
As I’ve previously reported, an RCMP
constable stopped her outside the Enfield
Legion at about 11:30 p.m. on
May 30 and accused her of running a
stop sign. She denied the accusation,
and things degenerated pretty quickly
from there (Frank 566, 568, 572).
As she arranged herself behind the
defence table — and finished greeting
her “dahlings” in the gallery — Crown
Attorney Bob McCarroll came over
with a little pep talk. Take your time,
stay calm, this won’t hurt a bit, that
sorta thing.
Peering wide-eyed at the massive
Old Dead White Guy portraits hanging
in the courtroom, Patricia looked scared to death.
“Isn’t it intimidating,” she said, taking it all in.
Then she added: “Not for you, I mean for we criminals.”
Then, seconds before Justice Art entered the courtroom: “I feel like
running away.”
Considering her theatrical experience — not to mention her decades
of doing battle with the administrators of her deceased husband
Charlie MacCulloch’s estate — one would think that a relatively brief
appearance in a Halifax courtroom would be a cakewalk.
To be sure, like the pro that she is, Patricia delivered in the end.
“Forgive me if I get a little emotional,” she began with a cracking
voice, adding, “My cause is justice.”
In a surprisingly concise 12-minute talk, she managed to make all
of her points without being too repetitive.
8 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK FEBRUARY 16, 2010
Patricia MacCulloch prepares to face justice.
“This case is not about alcohol. It’s
about bruised ego,” she said. Along
with her Charter argument, Patricia
maintained that the officer’s
breathalyser demand was tantamount
to punishing her for daring to disagree
with him. During her trial, incidentally,
the officer testified that he “believed”
that she “may not have” stopped. He
wasn’t even sure himself.
In his response, Prosecutor Bob argued
that N.S. Provincial Court Chief
Judge Patrick Curran correctly found
that Patricia’s belief that she was illtreated
was an “unreasonable” cause to
refuse the roadside breath test. While
there might be reasons to refuse a
breathalyser, righteous indignation
wasn’t one of them. He also pointed out
that the current breathalyser legislation,
enacted in the early 1970s, has been
found on several occasions to be sturdy
enough to withstand Charter challenges.
After some final arguments from
Patricia — during which both prosecutor
and magistrate politely urged her to
stay on topic — Justice Art decreed
that he would give a written decision
on whether or not to allow her appeal
at a later date.
“I’m out of the country for February.
I leave next Tuesday. It won’t be ready
before then?” asked Patricia, who told
me after the hearing wrapped up that
she gets a free month-long vacation in
the Caribbean each year through
Charlie’s estate.
Justice Art agreed that it would take
more than six days to deliver a decision,
and she just might have to read it
in another time zone.
“No matter what, I beg of you not to
put me off the road for another year,”
she exhorted just before court was adjourned
for the day.
As much as one might scoff at
Patricia’s real or perceived hardships
— the widow claimed in court that she
simply didn’t have the $10,000 necessary
to hire a lawyer for her appeal —
there’s no question the British-born actress has suffered as a result
of the incident.
Having experienced a driving ban for the spring and summer leading
up to her conviction, Patricia made the difficult decision to sell
her Monte Vista Road, Enfield estate due to its remote location,
signing the final papers in early August. Her permanent home for
some three decades, she says she unloaded it for $365,000, about
$40,000 shy of its 2010 assessed value. The new registered owner
is a numbered company owned by Grand Lake Point dwellers Jeff
and Denise McMackin.
Patricia now dwells at 73 Main Ave., Halifax (assessed: $187,000),
having signed the papers in November. Her North West Cove cottage
($268,400) continues to serve as her summer retreat.
Does Frank Know? atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca

THE
KARMA
FAIRY
STRIKES
AGAIN
BY A. FINE-DAY
WHILE CAPTURING A PICTURE OF
FAMOUSLY RECLUSIVE NEW GLASGOW
REAL ESTATE MOGUL FRASER CHISHOLM
IS REASON ENOUGH TO CELEBRATE,
NABBING PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF THE
MAN HIMSELF GETTING A PARKING TICKET
LEAVES ME FEELING A LITTLE LIGHT-
HEADED.
What’s good for the goose is good for the
gander, after all.
Many in the town remember the way Fraser
jealously guarded the parking spaces at the
Chisholm Centre on East River Road before
he sold the erection last year (Frank 555).
Former Stellarton police chief Amby
Heighton shurely does, as he suffered the
embarrassment of having his unmarked conveyance
towed on Fraser’s orders in the fall
of 2008, just weeks before the poor guy was
fired.
So it’s quite amazing, really, that Fraser
would have the gall to park his hulking Dodge
Ram on the brand new sidewalk in front of
Cafe Italia on Provost Street earlier this
month. And when I say “on the sidewalk,” I’m
not exaggerating. A couple more inches and
all four tires would’ve been sitting on faux cobblestone.
Granted, more than a dozen parking spots
on the front street alone have been lost to the
multi-million dollar Downtown Revitalization
project, so maybe this minor act of civil disobedience
was a protest. I dunno.
Predictably, the always-eager meter maid,
er commissionaire, already had a ticket on
the windshield when Fraser emerged from
the Royal Bank toting his leather attache case. As he approached,
the meter maid, er, commissionaire, defended the ticket, telling the
ginger-haired gazillionaire that he was “clearly” in the wrong.
To his credit, Fraser was cordial about it, commenting aloud that the
The meter man works his magic on Fraser Chisholm’s monster truck.
I’m gonna buy the cafe
and park in there
next time.
The meter man makes his escape as Fraser (right) talks things over with a pal.
commissionaire was “just doing his job.” After a quick chat with an
acquaintance in front of the cafe, Fraser drove away five bucks poorer,
and all was once again right with the world.
Does Frank Know? atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
FEBRUARY 16, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 9

SCHMOOZING DOWN ON THE WATERFRONT
BY A. FRANK GRUNT
MY WORD, IT APPEARS EVERY TIME POOR GEOFF MACHUM HAS
ONE OF HIS TORY FRIENDS OVER TO SUCK BACK A COLD ONE, EAT
SOME CHEESIES AND WATCH THE LATEST TRUCKPULL, SOME LIBERAL
NOSES SOMEWHERE, GET ALL OUT OF JOINT.
Machum, 49, is the well-heeled Stewart McKelvey law partner, the
former husband of former television meat puppet Nancy Regan, and
via his seat on the Halifax Port Authority, a recipient of Tory, er, um,
taxpayer largesse.
For those of you who have never heard the term Halifax Port Authority.
Let me explain:
The Halifax Port Authority is a federal Crown corporation. Federal
Crown corporations don’t actually do anything. Or, at least, that is not
their essential aim, or purpose.
The primary purpose of any Crown corporation, federal or provincial,
is to take care of, and provide status to, friends of the ruling government,
in this case the so-called Stephen Harper Conservatives. Remember?
Before the big Peter MacKay sell-out, they used to be called
the Progressive Conservatives? So, the governing party puts its people
in place on boards of directors of Crown corporations. In some
cases, there is even cross-pollination, as Tory Karen Oldfield was an
appointee of Liberal PM Jean Chretien.
This allows the friends of the governing party to collect hefty honorariums,
eat at expensive restaurants, take junkets or mini-vacations
around the world for no other purpose than seeing the world, and, in
the case of Tory hack and Halifax Port Authority president and ceo
Karen Oldfield, collect sizable end-of-year bonus cheques which are
rarely, if ever, based on performance. At the Halifax Port Authority, there
is absolutely no relationship between Variable “A” performance and,
Variable “B” bonus cheque. Or salary for that matter.
Funnelling tool
So, as you can see, a Crown corporation is no more than a means to
an ends. One giant, big, colossal, mammoth mother$%@!&* sinecure.
Think: David Dingwall and the Royal Canadian Mint.
It is no more than a funnelling tool used to siphon off tax dollars to
party faithful, and, occasionally the token outsider. A Crown corporation
ain’t no linoleum knife, or X-Acto knife. A Crown corporation is the
machete used by the political powers and political insiders to carve up
huge, obscene chunks of the public purse for themselves. Accept that,
my friends, as a Frankland Teachable Moment, because in realpolitik
you can forget about mission statements and fancy websites, all that
matters is that TPTB funnel the money where the money is supposed
to go. No fuss, no bother, and as few questions as possible, please,
from FRANK magazine!
Hate to burst yer ideological freedom of the press, representative
democracy, etc. bubble, there, sweetheart, but we ain’t in Kansas
anymore, Toto. Fact is, the Halifax Port Authority has never been about
the Port of Halifax.
But ya can’t be too brazen. Too blatant. Ya gotta camouflage things a
bit. Ya can’t appear too eager. Sneak up. Don’t go grabbin’ straight at
the crotch. Be gentle. Move slowly but deliberately, save somebody
might catch on!
So ya gotta make up things like Port Days so it will appear to Joe &
Janice IQ 72 that the enterprise, in this case the Halifax Port Authority,
appears to be in the interest of a little known something sometimes
referred to as “the public good,” and not merely to serve the financial
desires of a given political oligarchy. Folks, when ya hear the phrase
“the public good,” always think snake oil salesman, or the phrase “too
good to be true.” ‘Cause there ain’t no public good where political oligarchies
are concerned.
And then, you throw in some perfunctory rules or bylaws, just to lend
a thin veneer of legitimacy to the process, and this is where Geoff
Machum and his Tory friends come in.
10 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK FEBRUARY 16, 2010
Geoff Machum
& Wife No. 2
& Nancy’s
their
Marlborough
Woods pile.
From what I know Machum is a political animal, has been since birth.
He and brother and fellow SM law partner Grant Machum come from
Tory roots in New Brunswick.
I think I took Machum’s picture once. Four years ago at the 2006
Tory Leadership Convention, but I admit I did not pay as much attention
to him as the dazzling blonde he had hanging off his arm. Can
hardly remember him, everything happened so fast...
But I do know Machum is close buddies with Jamie Baillie, prez &
CEO of Credit Union Atlantic, and a former Chief of Staff to Premier
John Hamm, blah, blah, blah... Baillie will likely be on the ballot for the
provincial Tories when they hold their leadership convention in October.
The fact that on Sunday afternoon, January 3, Geoff Machum and
his dazzling blonde second wife, Kim (Sanford) entertained Baillie and
a slew of Tories at their Marlborough Woods mansion has some
tongues wagging in and around the Halifax Port Authority.
I understand the event wasn’t a fundraiser, as much as it was a gathering
of people interested in making Jamie Baillie the next provincial
(as in province) Tory leader.
Still, good heavens! Is it possible there might be a schism in this very
private, very lucrative club, I wonder? Er, um, the Halifax Port Authority,
I mean, not the N.S. Progressive Conservative Party. That club
ain’t so lucrative anymore.
CONTINUED ON PAGE 12

THE BIG BLUE KAHUNAS
GIVE MR. BAILLIE A SNIFF
BY A. FRANK GRUNT
AS NOTED, THE DORA THE EXPLORER
EXPLORATORY COMMITTEE TO EXPLORE
THE POTENTIAL LEADERSHIP POTENTIAL
OF JAMIE BAILLIE MET AT GEOFF
MACHUM’S HOUSE FOR THREE TO FOUR
HOURS, SUNDAY PM, JANUARY 3.
The hypnotic experience commenced at
about noon, tea was served, everybody
wished everybody a Happy New Year,
complimented each other on their fine ’09
Xmas wardrobe, especially the Xmas blue
cardigans, and some informal potential committees
were then, quite naturally, potentially
struck.
Then each happy, potentially fully relieved,
and exploratory-full participant stomped into
the Geoff & Kim master bedroom, unsnarled
their winter parka jackets from atop Geoff &
Kim’s bed, pecked each other on the cheek,
in grand darhhling, South End Halifax fashion,
then immediately sped off in their Saabs
to various Wal-Mart stores throughout metro
in an effort to make their Christmas returns.
The Big Blue Kahunas included: former
Preston Manning Reform Party/Rodney
MacDonald fartcatcher Sen. Stephen
Greene; former provincial cabinet ministers
Jamie Muir and Jane Purves; Kevin Lacey
the architect of the Rocket Rodney
MacDonald rousing 2009 general election
campaign; Jordi Morgan the architect of
Rocket Rodney MacDonald’s rousing 2009
breakthrough in Halifax metro for same;
former newspaper hack cum defence lawyer
Cameron MacKeen; and Bill Black nemesis
and WWE wrestling growly voice impresario
Chris Lydon.
I understand Rosamond Luke, the formerly
appointed, then abruptly un-appointed star
Tory candidate for the federal riding of Halifax,
Year 2008, was not in attendance. Pity,
that.
Conservative Sen. Michael MacDonald,
The Pride of Louisburg, Cape Breton, was
pencilled in to attend the Machum/Baillie Pot
Luck, but I’m advised a heavy Ottawa workload
prohibited his attendance and any chance
he had of winning the 50/50 draw. Shame,
that.
Then again having lost no less than four
times at the polls, himself, Sen. Michael
MacDonald already has won a lotto of sorts,
hasn’t he? Getting “summoned” to the Senate
was the only bloody way this joker/fourtime
loser was ever goin’ see the corridors of
power.
In any event, beancounter Jamie, who will
turn 44 in April, is a shoo-in to be on the ballot
for the October Leadership Bonanza. I
mean, hey, you don’t drag out such a high
profile gaggle of Big Blue Kuhunas on a Sunday,
three days after New Year’s Eve for
nothin’!
Good heavens, man, it’s not like they all
decided on a whim to show up in one of Geoff
& Kim Machum’s Marlborough Woods
livingroom just to pass the popcorn and watch
Mass For Shut-Ins on the big flat screen. Or
to check out ex Nancy Regan’s ghost which
has long been said to haunt the multi-million
dollar pile. Do-do, do-do!!! Seriously, just ask
new wife, Kim. She’ll tell ya.
Meantime, speaking of prayers and other
Tory relics, er, um, Tory deities, 60-year-old
insurance salesman Bill Black, like an aged,
head-scratching Hamlet, has yet to decide if
he is going to enter the leadership bonanza
or not.
But his new online presence on his New
Start Nova Scotia political forum indicates
more than a passing interest in joining the
YouTube Generation.
Mr. Black,
the urban hipster
It’s a strikingly clever idea for an “undecided.”
Not sure it makes Bill Black the very
definition of urban hipster, or not, but Mr. Bill,
er, um, Mr. Black did get 40 per cent of delegates
on side in 2006 when he lost on the
second ballot to Cape Breton gym teacher,
the aforementioned Rocket Rodney.
Nonetheless Black did run in June ’06, like
he said he would, in Halifax Citadel losing by
330 votes to N-Dipper Len Preyra. And then,
with all the precision of the funeral director
dropping the casket lid, Bill Black closed himself
off to public viewing. Until last December,
when the lid suddenly popped open again.
No matter. If the Tories had any sense four
years ago, they would have gone with Neil
LeBlanc, but no go.
Don’t look for Neil, 53, this time around. I’m
told our Consul General in Boston is out of
the running.
Interesting because last time out Neil had
some pretty high profile support including: the
late Michael Baker, Chris d’Entremont, Bill
Dooks, Jim DeWolfe, and Carolyn Bolivar-
Getson. (I said “high-profile” NOT brilliant,
OK!!!)
But this time out sources advise that Neil
LeBlanc is very unethusiastic. Party’s too far
Jamie Baillie
back. Not a snowball’s chance of ever forming
another government before the Year 2020.
Neil, himself, will be 110 years old by that time.
Young, if you’re a sea turtle living off the
Galapagos Islands, but too old to woo young
voters in Nova Scotia.
So, there are a few non-believers out there
in N.S. Toyland, er, um, Toryland.
Not so Karen Casey, the current PC leader,
and a woman with a v. strong disdain for the
word “interim.”
The Colchester North MLA and grandmother
who turns 63 on April 24 wants the
job badly.
“She has fallen in love with the sound of her
own voice and the glare of the spotlight,” one
uncommitted Tory source told me.
But Grandma Casey’s critics claim her current
presence as leader (don’t say “interim”)
gives her an unfair advantage over the Bill
Blacks and the Jamie Baillies of the world,
because she is using her current standing to
promote her own visibility and good fortunate.
That’s stating the obvious, isn’t it?
Moreover, if Grandma Casey, her critics
claim, was really an honourable grandma, she
would do the honourable thing and resign the
post she has enjoyed since June to level the
playing field. But Grandma Casey sez she will
wait until June to do just that. After she finishes
her province-wide walkabout which
started in September and wraps up in May.
Hell, never thought Nova Scotia was that big.
CONTINUED ON PAGE 12
FEBRUARY 16, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 11

BAILLIE, FROM PREVIOUS PAGE
So, Grandma Casey will be in the mix come
October. Should be entertaining - Watching
Karen Casey and Bill Black knock each other
over the head with their walkers.
Unless, of course, in the, er, um, interim,
Cape Breton North MLA Cecil Clarke decides
to install Ms. Casey as President For
Life of some small African country, or something
of that nature.
One of her key supporters will be fellow ex
Tory cabinet minister Richie Hurlburt. The
Yarmouth MLA was first thought to be named
the interim leader, but in a surprise move,
Grandma Casey emerged from underneath
the carnage left by Rodney MacDonald and
Angus “Tando” MacIsaac. Still, she and Mr.
H. remain great friends, and strong supporters
of each other. Awww, muffin, that sooo
sweet!!!
Other names to consider for the Tory Leadership
Bonanza-Rama are:
����� Cumberland South MLA Murray Scott,
57, in the House since 1998, but a somewhat
tedious fellow, who traditionally, at least, generates
as much excitement as a wringer
washer.
����� Argyle MLA Chris d’Entremont, 40, a
former radio announcer, and failed cellphone
salesman. (Actually, that’s not entirely true,
as I previously reported d’Entremont sold two
cellphones during that career. Including the
one he sold to his mother.)
����� And last but not least HRM Mayor Peter
Kelly, 54, whose favourite political line is
“Never say never...”
The Leadership Convention (WHY do they
have to bring leadership into it? Hell, leadership
didn’t seem to be much of a factor in
2006!!!) Sorry. Er, um, the Leadership Convention
is slated for October 29 & 30 at the
Halifax Cunard Centre, which is a shame,
certainly.
See, I was just, like, kinda hopin’ that the
final ballot results wouldn’t take place until like
late Halloween afternoon, or early Halloween
evening.
SCHMOOZING, FROM PAGE 10
Hmmm, maybe, there is a schism within the
HPA?
I’m told other board members, who feel they
had to curtail their own political shenanigans
are staggered, as they put it, at “the gall” of
Geoff Machum.
They point to the fact that the Machums last
year held a fundraiser for Halifax Citadel Tory
candidate Ted Larsen (Frank 555).
I was not fortunate enough to get the Please
Screen My Calls Mr. Machum on the record
for that one, as I don’t think he’s a particular
fan (come to think of it I don’t have any fans
at Stew-Mac, or the Halifax Port Authority, or
12 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK FEBRUARY 16, 2010
Grandma Karen Casey (not exactly as illustrated).
Guess, I’m just that darn sentimental when
it comes to the N.S. Progressive Conservative
Party. Silly, ol’ me.
anywhere else for that matter), but this time I
was smart enough to catch Machum at his
law office.
He told me, effectively, he understands the
bylaws of the HPA as good as anyone.
Machum said he’s allowed to show support
for political candidates. He can do this financially
or put up a sign on his Marlborough
Woods property if he so chooses.
What he cannot do is run for political office
himself or hold any official position on anyone’s
campaign or anyone’s administration
while serving on the HPA.
“I would never ask the chair for permission
to do something inappropriate,” Machum told
me before hanging up to take a call. Presum-
Cheque please....
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
ably from his dazzling second wife, Kim. I think
he was just giving me the brush-off. I didn’t
hear any incoming beeps.
Unfortunately, I didn’t then, get around to
asking Geoffery how his Sunday afternoon
with Jamie Baillie went.
But I’m sure it all went swimmingly.
And, I for one, am overwhelmed ‘cause, say
what ya will, ya know those Nova Scotia Progressive
Conservatives sure could use a little
good news in their ill-fated, authors of their
own misfortune Rodney MacDonald/Angus
MacIsaac lives.
Couldn’t they, now?
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca

,
&
THIS HIS HIS, HIS , THAT THAT & THE THE OTHER OTHER POLITICAL POLITICAL THING THING... THING ...
����� Here’s an odd twist. Should beancounter
Jamie Baillie not win the leadership, reliable
sources tell me Jamie is being pressured to
run for Halifax mayor’s chair in 2012. Or before
then, should current mayor, Peter Kelly,
move on, say, win the leadership of the certain
provincial party. Talk about trading
places.
� � �
����� Meantime in Big Becky Kent’s world or
the ol’ dark but exciting
BBK World, as I like to
call it, once in awhile her
name comes up here at
the Bunker.
Every couple of months
or so, I or one of my better
informed colleagues,
will take an angry call from
some no-good evil-doer
Becky Kent
from Eastern Passage,
who wants to drone on
about not being able to get in touch with Big
Becky Kent, the alleged MLA for the area.
THE SECRET
BEHIND THE
CARAMILK BAR
BY IRA VEAL
IF YOU’RE CURIOUS WHY QUEENS MLA
VICKI CONRAD WAVED HER MAGIC WAND
AND TURNED THE N-DIPPER LOGO IN HER
ADS INTO THE NOVA SCOTIA CREST, HERE’S
THE SCOOP, JACKSON.
The recent change ushers in a new era for
Vic’s business card-sized, taxpayer-funded
adverts in the Queens County Advance. But
before my Liverpudlian readers reach for
their heart meds, let me assure y’all that Vicki’s
mug shot remains prominently featured, her
lovely face looming over the constituency contact
info fine print, like a scene from Attack
Of The 50 Foot Woman.
The real question, the deep abiding mystery
here, is why did Vicki’s partisan promotions
in the local fishwrapper suddenly transform
into a patriotic display for Canada’s
Ocean Province?
Could it possibly coincide with a constituent
raising a stink, over their MLA’s gall to
advertise her political party with taxpayer
dough? Um, methinks if you said, “What is
yes,” Alex Trebek would respond, “Correct.”
I know. I know, Take about inconsequential
nit-picking. So you can’t reach your MLA, or
she doesn’t return you call. So, your MLA really
isn’t into you? Too bad, I say, what’s the
big deal?
� � �
����� Elsewhere, but still in the dark but exciting
BBK World, I also hear that former Eastern
Passage MLA, the cleverly, diplomatically disguised
Kevin Deveaux, 43, may be hankering
to get back into provincial politics. Er, um,
now that the N-Dippers have a taste of political
power.
Deaveaux, who in 2000 ran for the N-Dipper
leadership and lost to abject political failure
Helen MacDonald (how would you like to
have that on your resume???) has rebounded
quite well.
He, of course, is a now a man of the world,
an international man of mystery, and a man,
like local sportscaster Alex J. Walling who
can boast his very own Wikipedia entry. Like,
how cool is that?
Here you can read all about Kevin
MLAs get a ginormous bag of loot for constituency
office expenses, not unlike the sack
Santa hauls onto his sleigh on Christmas Eve
to carry toys for all the world’s children. Out
of this bottomless supply comes the funds for
local media ads.
It is not hard to imagine a rezzie spying Vic’s
ad and hitting the roof, as its NDP logo leapt
off the page to strike them like an arrow in the
forehead. It is reasonable to assume this mystery
armchair critic does not belong to the NDP
fold.
“We did receive a concern in the office,”
Vicki admits, and note the poli-speak of “concern,”
a softer and more harmless way of saying
“complaint,” a word that is likely closer to
the truth. But Vic, ministerial assistant to
Transportation minnie Bill Estrabrooks,
assures me the great switcheroo was planned
before her office fielded any complaint, er,
...
Deaveaux’s early childhood, as the youngest
of five children ... Zzzzzzz ... to his graduation
from law school to his election to the House
of Assembly, to his not fulfilling his mandate
with the people of Eastern Passage, and turning
his back on the voters to accept a United
Nations job in Commie Vietnam in 2007.
Funny, he doesn’t mention Helen MacDonald,
though.
Noble, bright, boy wonder Kevin brings us
up to date with his 2008 very important UN
posting in New York City. Or, has that boy
wonder appointment recently wrapped up?
Who cares? Really.
But not to be out done, Becky Kent, too, has
her own Wikipedia page. But it really doesn’t
say much, and leaves out entirely the fact that
she also, in her spare time (which she would
appear to have plenty of) has been know to
dabble in the selling of kitchenware.
So there you have it, folks, the story of Ms.
Lazy Arse vs. Mr. Fat Head. Should be one
hell of a nomination battle if and when it does
finally come about.
concern. (What, does she have Nostradamus
on staff? — ed.)
While a missive to the Frankland Bunker
suggested that her party-plugs contravene
Speaker’s Office rules, Vicki assures me
under new guidelines passed a couple years
back, her politicized ads pass muster.
“I have been running the ads for well over a
year,” she explains.
The all-party Internal Economy Board did
tweak its guidelines, legislative clerk Rod
MacArthur confirms, and says a new review
of MLA claimable expenses is underway by
Tory dinosaur Art Donahoe (Frank 576).
As Rod sensibly observes, if MLAs “don’t
claim for reimbursement, they could put any
sort of advertising they wanted.”
And now you know, the rest of the story...
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
FEBRUARY 16, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 13

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
DAN LEGER FINALLY RIDS HIMSELF OF TROUBLESOME TERA CAMUS
“I want Tera Camus to be the best reporter
she can be. She has the talents common
to many of the great reporters...”
— Mr. Dan Leger,
Director of News Content (Managing Editor)
Halifax Chronicle Herald, June 2008.
In response to question from FRANK magazine.
� � �
BY A. FRANK GRUNT
WELL, BOYS AND GIRLS, IF TERA CAMUS,
45, IS GOIN’ TO BE “THE BEST REPORTER
MEDIA
MADNESS
SHE CAN BE,” IT AIN’T GOIN’ HAPPEN UNDER
THE CAREFUL, FATHERLIKE, COMPASSIONATE
TUTELAGE OF ONE MR. DAN LEGER.
(What? Frank magazine? Monitoring? Mistakes?
Miscues? Frank magazine? Errors?
Shirley, shome mishtake!!! — ed.)
Nope. Not on his watch. Leger and the Hali-
It wasn’t the first time the Public Prosecufax
Herald Ltd., on Tuesday, January, 19,
tion Service and Herald managing editor Dan
parted company with their long-time Cape
Leger have been in discussion re: Tera’s re-
Breton bureau chief. CBC Radio in Cape
porting capabilities and techniques. But it
Breton ran a short clip on the firing when it
would be the last.
came down.
In her three-page letter to bossman Dan,
After 12 years working for the Dennis Fam-
Chris detailed a dozen (12) errors in Tera’s
ily (see Graham & Sarah), having been fired,
14-paragraph story.
Tera Camus walks away with not a dime in
“Some errors,” Chris wrote, “are minor. Oth-
her pocket.
ers are more significant. I will go through the
The Sydney mother of two’s firing came af-
story pointing out the errors in chronological
ter Leger received a three-page letter from
Chris Hansen, the Director of Communications
for the N.S. Public Prosecution Serv-
Tera accepts her Atlantic
Journalism Award in 2008.
order.”
It is an extraordinary, painstakingly detailed
letter to Dan Leger (he couldn’t have written
ice.
paper was forced to apologize to former it any better himself if he’d tried) and as such
In that letter, Chris, acting in her official de- CBRM councillor/looney tune Vince Hall. the three-page missive mirrors the aforemenpartmental
mouthpiece role, pointed out nu- Ouch!!!
tioned commitment the PPS has to accuracy
merous factual errors in Tera’s story of Dec.
Accuracy & precision
in reporting.
4, 2009, Jury Mulling Evidence in Chapel Said one Herald insider, who preferred not Chris, herself a former Herald reporter and
Island Killing. Errors that were perpetuated to go on record:
a past associate editor of Canadian Grocer
in Tera’s December 5 dispatch.
“You never knew for sure what you were go- magazine, finished with:
That killing was the September 2008 stabing to get from Tera. She did some really fine, “As I mentioned in my previous e-mails to
bing death of Edwin Marshall, 35, for which fair-minded pieces, but other times, she was you, we characterize Ms. Camus’s reporting
Logan Paul, 20, was later acquitted.
too tabloid, reached too far in the wrong di- as sloppy and unreliable. The PPS believes
Tera, a former Toronto Star, Canadian Narection for detail, for colour. I think that’s where that reporting on criminal prosecutions retional
Geographic, and CBC Cape Breton Tera tends to get into trouble.”
quires accuracy and precision. As referenced
freelancer, had been Cape Breton bureau I agree. That and coming under the micro- above, this has not occurred and, in our opin-
chief since 1998.
scopic eye of the N.S. Public Prosecution ion, falls below the standard expected of those
Her 2ic, young Laura Fraser, has assumed Service.
who report on such matters to the public.”
that position, and will likely continue to fly solo. But Chris Hansen isn’t doing cartwheels
The Passion of the Tera
Tera got the news early Tuesday morning, across the floor now that Tera Camus is job- Parker Donham feels bad for Tera Camus.
about 9:30, when Herald henchman Frank less in Sydney, Cape Breton.
Like many good reporters, journalists, hacks,
DePalma and Herald human resource mira- Chris tells me she’s not trying to run the Hali- whatever they choose to call themselves,
cle worker Theresa Williams walked into the fax Herald Ltd. personnel department, nor Parker Donham knows what it’s like to be fired,
Sydney office.
does she feel the N.S. Public Prosecution and he doesn’t like to kick people when they
That dynamic duo had made this road trip Service unfairly targeted Tera Camus. are down. I sense he doesn’t enjoy being in-
before, but this time they asked Tera to turn “We feel the public has a right to accuracy vited into this narrative.
over her Herald BlackBerry.
and precision in the reporting on all matters Parker and Tera have been circling around
Tera Camus is the winner of two Atlantic involving the courts,” said Chris.
each other for years. Particularly when he was
Journalism Awards (what dey? — ed.) and “This is the responsibility of all media and the mouthpiece for the Sydney Tar Ponds
has also been suspended by the Chronicle we monitor all media, not just the Herald. Agency. A job Tera claimed was first offered
Herald numerous times for making factual
errors in her reporting. In one instance, the
Nobody was targeted. We do the same thing
where Frank is involved.”
to her, then to Parker.
CONTINUED ON PAGE 18
14 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK FEBRUARY 16, 2010

HURRICANE STU HITS SLEEPY LITTLE WINDSOR
BY A. FRANK GRUNT
I REMEMBER STU DUCKLOW AS A VERY
WOOLLY, WIREY CHARACTER, A MAN WITH THE
MOST PRECIOUS OF ALL GOD’S GIFTS — THE
PERFECT TABLOID NEWSPAPER MIND.
Yes, in a media world too complete
with pretenders, where every
early morning DJ thinks him or herself
the latest incarnation of
Howard Stern, and the Halifax
Herald anoints former Best Donair
Magazine hackette Lezlie Lowe as
its latest “edgy” columnist, Stu
Ducklow stands alone.
Stu is 62 years old now.
I knew him in his prime, when in
the mid-’80s he brought his London
paparazzi energy and imagination
to the Halifax Daily News
as both a reporter and a photographer.
He was artistic and artful, and most of all,
fearless.
BY A. FRANK GRUNT
WEEKLY CHRONICLE HERALD COLUMNIST
JIM MEEK, THE PAPER’S FORMER DIRECTOR
OF SPECIAL PROJECTS, OR SOMETHING LIKE
THAT, (REALLY, DOES IT MATTER?) HAD AN
INTERESTING DISPATCH IN THE PAPER OF
RECORD THE OTHER SATURDAY.
Not that I read the Herald much anymore,
and Jim’s column I often find a bit dry. But it’s
not the writing. It’s often times the subject
matter. Like business, which bores the piss
out of me.
But his discourse of Saturday, January 24,
caught my eye. If only for the reason he mentioned
CBC-TV reporter Susan Ormiston.
Of course, as a younger man I used to be a
regular media watcher. Less so today. But old
beat-up one-time observers, and once-dashing
MacInnes Cooper lawyers, will recall that
the lovely Susan, 50, used to co-host First
Edition with Jim Nunn, who himself is now a
man of leisure. But with money.
Meek, 58, was writing about cheap sentimentality
in journalism after watching
Ormiston do an “I love you, too” piece from
Haiti, in which she single-handedly transformed
herself from mild-mannered reporter
to Florence Nightengale.
“The viewer,” wrote Jim, “was treated to
moving pictures of CBC-TV reporter Susan
Ormiston, who held the hand of a small Haitian
child as they walked through a devastated,
crowded neighbourhood...”
Stu Ducklow
So, I congratulate Stu on his new gig as the
managing editor of the Hants Journal, the
150-year-old weekly newspaper out of the
pastoral, quaint, stuck in the missionary position
town of Windsor, Nova Scotia, which
may or may not be the birthplace of hockey.
Stu is about three weeks into his
new Transcontinental Media gig,
and I look forward to following this
bold experiment as, I fear, the local
Cabbage Report may never again be
the same.
Stu Ducklow is the antithesis of
another ol’ leftover from those glory,
blood & guts days of the Halifax Daily
News, that being Mr. Carl Fleming.
Fleming is now the managing editor
of another TransCon borefest.
This one is called the Truro Daily
News.
I can think of no greater talent to run a
borefest than former sports reporter Fleming.
But the Hants Journal with a weekly circu-
QUEEN OF PATHOS STRIKES AGAIN
Later, Florence, er, um, Susan swept the
child up into her arms.
Frightfully moving moving pictures.
But Meek wondered if it was all a bit too
contrived. Was our own Susan Ormiston trying
just a little too hard to out-Anderson
CNN’s professional mourner Anderson
Cooper?
I don’t know. I didn’t see Susan’s latest piece
of pathos.
Susan likes doing that type of thing on camera.
The furrowed brow. The deeply cut,
deeply concerned, penetrating eyes. That
eternally puzzled and frightened look on her
face, like somebody just told Susan Ormiston
that her goldfish died.
Few television hacks can turn it on like
Susan Ormiston.
About 20 years ago a number of fisherman
from, I think, the Herring Cove/Sambro area,
fishermen from the same family, drowned. It
was late in the year.
On First Edition that night, Susan Ormiston
did her two-way.
She asked grieving female family members,
widows, if this fishing tragedy was going to
put a damper on their Christmas.
But Susan was only doing her job, I guess.
You see, television works best when it
makes people cry, that’s why the camera will
always close in the minute those tears begin
to well up in the eyes.
And if Susan Ormiston can make you cry at
home, too? Well, that’s just two birds with the
same stone, then, isn’t it?
lation, we think, at the 3,000 mark should not
be a borefest much longer, given Stu
Ducklow’s unflinching resolve to get the news
out in a manner both entertaining and exhilarating.
He has “two great reporters” working with
him. Their names unfortunately elude me at
the moment, as it is 9:26 p.m. (Friday, Jan.
29) and the Clyde Street Liquor Store sadly
ceases daily operation at 10 p.m.
However, I will conclude by saying the days
of comfort and ease in sleepy Windsor, N.S.,
which may or may not be the birthplace of
hockey, are about to come to an end.
There is no risk of boredom where Stu
Ducklow is concerned.
And we are also safe, for at least one more
generation, as Stu’s daughter Stella is a diminutive
but indomitable photography student
at something called NSCAD University.
Whatever that is.
Does Frank Know?
Atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
Susan Ormiston
BAD STUFF GOING ON
In other Hants County media news, I was
v. sorry to hear about the devastating January
18 fire that razed the Centre Rawdon
home of Christine Withrow, the gal behind
What’s Going On, a well-read, locally
distributed newsletter.
Last I heard, Christine and her husband
Harold, of Withrow’s Farm Market fame,
were still regrouping, though I’m assured
What’s Going On will continue to operate
despite the life-changing setback.
The Withrows’ dog, Molly, perished in the
fire.
FEBRUARY 16, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 15

16 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK FEBRUARY 16, 2010
KEVIN’S 52 INCHES
I ALWAYS THOUGHT BELL ALIANT LEGAL BEAGLE KEVIN KINDRED WAS A BIT OF A
SMART-ASS. NOW I HAVE PROOF.
With an IQ of 140, the 30-something Saint John, N.B. native and UNB Law grad was declared
the smartest in-studio dude on the CBC trivia show, “Test the Nation,” hosted last
month by the v. talented and fragrant Carole MacNeil (originally of Antigonish) and George
Snuffleupagus.
Ironically, “Atheist bus guy” Kevin’s super-sized brain power earned him a super-sized idiot
box —- a 52-inch LCD TV.
○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○
FRANKLAND REAL ESTATE NOTES
THE KENNEDY
RIZZETTO
COMPOUND
I SEE WHERE CAROL RIZZETTO IS OFFERING UP THE COXHEATH ROAD EXPANSE — THE ONE
HER THEN-SYDNEY LAWYER HUSBAND JOE “TOURETTE’S SYNDROME” RIZZETTO BOUGHT AGES
AGO FROM RITA “FLYING ON YOUR OWN” MACNEIL — FOR $875,000.
Roy Milley of Prudential Marquis is listing the six-bedroom, six-and-a-half bath mansion,
sits on nearly six acres of Cape Breton soil and which boasts a water view.
Carol is the daughter of former Sydney alderman John Kennedy. Joe, who got in trouble
with the Barristers Society last year for saying dirt to a female client over the phone, is not.
THE REGAN HOUSE
I SEE WHERE GERMANIC PRIVATE-ISLAND
BROKER FARHID VLADI HAS ASSUMED THE
$22,000 TAX BILL ATTACHED TO DHX MEDIA
EXEC DAVID REGAN’S WATERFRONT ESTATE IN
RITZY MARLBOROUGH WOODS (FRANK 555).
Though they originally listed the five-bedroom
palace with Lisa Doyle’s Assist-2-Sell
LARCH STREET
APARTMENTS
BETTER LATE THAN NEVER, I ALWAYS SAY.
Even though the transaction’s a few months
old, I thought you’d still find it interesting that
South End-dwelling Sandra Rhynold no
longer owns The Commodore, a 26-unit
apartment complex that lies between Oxford
and Larch streets.
Greenwood Avenue denizen Sandra, a
former hairdresser, bought the building in 1983
(Frank 408) when she was still married to
Berwick-born contractor Larry Rhynold, who
died in a still-suspicious fire at his Winwick
Road abode in 2003.
Sandra sold the rental property — once
listed with Cushman & Wakefield LePage for
$3.95 million — to 3240490 Nova Scotia
Limited, which is operated by Jeffrey Carl
Potter and Timothy Hugh Potter, who I’m
inclined to think are related to Dexter Construction
kingpin Carl Potter.
for $3.2 million, David and wife Amy
Godinier-Regan ultimately switched gears
and threw their business to Prudential gal
Carolyn Davis-Stewart.
Vladi’s name officially appeared on the deed
January 4.
David and Amy have, in turn, purchased a
three-bedroom, three-bath Schmidtville
abode on Morris Street, which they bought
from Sandra Johnson and her husband, Century
21 dude David Yetman.

BRAVE NEW WORLD SPA
BY FAYE SHALL
THE NEWEST TREND IN SPA CULTURE IS MAKING ITS DEBUT IN THESE
PARTS NEXT MONTH, AND I FOR ONE COULDN’T BE HAPPIER.
Planet Beach Contempo Spa, an American chain of so-called “automated
spas” with more than 400 locations in six countries, is moving
into a storefront at 182 Bedford Highway, the space which previously
housed the luxury spa and salon La Dolce Vita operated by Liza
Innocente, wife of convicted drug dealer Danny (Frank 519, 557, 558).
New Brunswick ex-pat and franchisee Yvette Bavis says the concept
involves high-tech gadgets that customers operate themselves
in private rooms.
“The machines do the work,” she explains.
Want some cellulite smoothed out? Hop into the SlimLine Pod Spa.
Feel like a massage? That’s so last year. Try a Therasage!
You can also have a Saunatox, an Aqua Massage, or any number
of other made-up sounding things. There are also gadgets that whiten
your teeth, give you a facial or a hit of oxygen. Don’t feel up to any of
that? Just kick back in the Cyber-Relax Chair and let your cyberworries
cyber-go away.
Yvette says the business model is more like a gym than a regular
sauna; you pay a monthly rate and go as much or as little as you want.
She’s offering customers who sign up now the rate of $49 per month
for a year. In a few months, that will increase to $79. She’s planning to
open up in mid-February to allow customers to test the gear, with a
grand opening to follow in the coming weeks.
Founded in 1996, the New Orleans-based company is spreading
like wildfire, with 50 locations in Louisiana alone. In Canada, there
are 14 in Alberta and two in Ontario.
To aid in its speedy expansion, the company gives a master
franchisee a territory, and the master recruits other franchisees in the
area. Yvette’s hubby, H&R Block beancounter Michael, is the Maritime
master franchisee.
Yvette says she’s already hired five employees, and anticipates she’ll
need five more when the enterprise is running at full tilt. She says Planet
Beach is only using about half of the 4,000 square feet used by La
Dolce Vita. You’ll likely recall that the Innocentes were evicted from the
space in March of 2009. At the time, landlord Legacy Home Builder
told me the business had racked up rental arrears to the tune of $70,000.
TROUBLE IN KINKSVILLE?
BY AL TERNATIVE
ALTHOUGH I HAVE NOT PERSONALLY EXPERIENCED ANY BLOWBACK
FROM THE FETISH COMMUNITY REGARDING MY PROFILE OF THE MERRY
BAND KNOWN AS THE SOCIETY OF BASTET (FRANK 577), I HAVE
UNEARTHED A BIT OF EVIDENCE WHICH SUGGESTS THE PIECE HAS
CAUSED A BIT OF A RIFT WITHIN THE HALIFAX BDSM POPULACE AS A
WHOLE.
During the course of a lively online discussion about the article
on FetLife.com, a kinkster posting under the handle of Sailor1
angrily announced that he wouldn’t be helping to co-ordinate activities
in the dungeon area of the Everything To Do With Sex Show,
held at the Cunard Centre the weekend of January 29. Sailor1, a
self-described “pansexual” who according to his profile enjoys
candlewax, paddling, and electrotorture, is apparently not a member
of the society, and seems to believe there’s a danger that Bastet
is getting too big for its britches.
Edwin Millar, a Transport Canada senior marine surveyor who
toils out of the Queen Square Building in the City of Flakes, wasn’t
Why do I think
Judy Jetson
would have just
loved getting a
“luminousfacial”
from this gadget,
available at
Planet Beach
Contempo Spa.
interested in talking to me when I found him at work the other day.
“That trash, yeah I read it,” confirmed the Scotsman, adding “I have
nothing to say.”
Back on Fetlife, Sailor1 also reminisces about the last time the
media wrote about the kink community when his “house was fingered
... as it has been again in this article.”
Last time out, I referred to a dispatch that appeared in my organ
way back in 2001, about the BDSM Society of Greater Halifax,
which used to hold meetings on Joffre Street in Dartmouth.
Edwin Gray Millar holds title to an abode on Joffre.
“I don’t need the bullshit that goes with it this time,” writes Sailor1.
While we’re on the topic of reaction to my story, I must pass along
the opinion of a gal who goes by the handle of Mamie. Mamie, a 23year-old
bisexual with multi-coloured hair, wasn’t impressed by the
fact that my organ revealed the identity of one particular kinkster:
“I really feel terrible for the member who got their picture and name
posted without consent. I really am not familiar with legal matters
regarding that, but it does seem very wrong,” she writes.
Incidentally, Mamie’s profile picture, larger than life, features a closeup
of her fellating an organ that is certainly not of the bi-weekly family
variety.
Does Frank Know? atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
FEBRUARY 16, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 17

WHO’S HOT & WHO’S
NOT AT ACADIA
BY AL UM
AS HE COPES WITH WRESTLING A
$70 MILLION DEBT ALLIGATOR THAT
PLAGUES THE VALLEY’S FINEST BAP-
TIST UNIVERSITY, ACADIA PREZZIE RAY
IVANY MUST BE MORE THAN A LITTLE
PREOCCUPIED WITH BRINGING STABIL-
ITY TO HIS SENIOR ADMINISTRATIVE
RANKS.
To that end, HR executive director
Akihah Starkman is called upon as interim
replacement for Neil Carruthers,
the veep of administration since 2007.
THE
GROVES OF
ACADEME
Having previously worked under ‘Fabulous’ Floyd Dkyeman at Mount
Allison’s external relations office, Neil entered Wolfville’s academic
groves in 2002 as exec. dir. of campus planning. Given that he survived
Killer Kelvin’s Reign Of Terror, and the Gail Dinter Gottleib
lost years wandering in the desert, I’d say Neil’s loss is a big one for
Acadia.
Starting his new gig as Huron U. College CAO in Upper Canada on
February 15, Neil happened on a career opportunity too good to pass
up, suggests Acadia spokesthingy Scott Roberts, when asked to explain
the departure.
Also on the career upswing is Acadia’s University Librarian Sara
Lochhead, who also toiled at Mount A. and who Ray appointed veep
of enrolment & student services, a crucial portfolio, but perhaps a thank-
TROUBLESOME TERA, FROM PAGE 14
On a personal level, Parker told me he has
a lot a time for Tera. He added they had many
discussions when he was doing the Tar Ponds
thingy and Tera was doing the reporter thingy
for the Herald. Parker said it speaks to Tera’s
character that at the end of the workday she
drew no daggers, held no grudges.
Parker, having had those many Sydney Tar
Ponds dealings with reporter Tera, I thought,
would be an appropriate person to ask for his
thoughts.
It’s Parker’s interpretation that the same
passion the Holland College grad demonstrated
in her choice of career, and during her
go-getter freelance days, that ultimately
played a role in her departure from the Herald.
He described Tera as an “indefatigable” person
and journalist, but one whose judgement
is often blurred by her passion for a story to
the point where “she assumes people who
disagree with her are ill-motivated.”
Colleagues at the Herald say much the
same thing. These are foot-soldier union
brothers and sisters who feel Tera has been
wronged.
“No, we are not in the business of making
mistakes,” noted one co-worker.
“But what newspaper doesn’t make mistakes?
Tera’s mistakes, at least, were ones
18 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK FEBRUARY 16, 2010
of exuberance. There are reporters in the Halifax
(Herald) newsroom, still, whose best day’s
work constitutes nothing more labour intensive
than rewriting press releases. That wasn’t
Tera’s thing.”
To wit, Tera supporters agree that management
must inescapably share the blame for
her undoing. “I’m not sure they fully appreciate
how tough the Cape Breton bureau is to
work,” said one co-worker.
“There are management types who, believe
it or not, think it’s a half-hour drive from Sydney
to Meat Cove, a 20-minute drive from
Sydney to Port Hawkesbury. They come
aboard Tera, disown her now, but they were
only too happy to hitch themselves to her
when she won a journalism award.”
As far as the story in question is concerned
that was filed near the end of a 14-hour day,
Tera told me.
She blamed the Herald copy desk for the
misrepresentations in her story, adding that
unfortunately, her cellphone was kaput, which
made communication between her and copy
editor Bobby Burgess impossible.
Maybe so.
But there are others familiar with this saga
who would argue that a component of a reporter’s
passion for his or her job, is also the
passion to get it right, and with Tera there
came a cumulative effect that could no longer
Hot: Sara.
Not: Neil.
less one. If enrolment remains low, Sara could v. well wind up, through no
fault of her own, in the crosshairs of an impatient board. After all, Acadia’s
former enrolment specialist, Paula MacKinnon-Cook, ended up launching
a wrongful dismissal suit against the uni and Dinter-Gottleib, after
Paula felt her Acadia exit was unduly hastened, a suit she ultimately lost
in court (Frank 517, 574).
In another turn of the revolving door, Geoff Irvine has left his exec.
dir. gig at Alumni Affairs, having taken over for the ousted Steve
Pound eons ago. In mid-December former Harbour View Seafoods
owner and Clearwater toiler Geoff embarked on his new career as
czar of the newly formed Lobster Council of Canada.
Adios, Geoff, or as they say in Latin, “Vale!”
Does Frank Know? atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
be ignored.
Maybe if Tera Camus was just a simple plagiarist
like Herald Yarmouth bureau chief
Brian Medel (Frank 472), she’d still be on
the Dennis Family payroll. Who knows?
Last year, Tera virtually signed her own
death warrant when she agreed in writing with
Herald management that further miscues
would mean a parting of the ways.
As of this writing, the Whitney Pier native
is planning an excursion from Sydney to Halifax
to sit down with union bosses to discuss
grieving her firing.
Outside of that she has no immediate plans,
other to stay in journalism, even if that means
a possible move to the West Coast.
“I have to be around the water,” Tera concluded.
And the last word goes to Parker Donham,
who told me while it is traumatic for a career
journalist to be out of work, it is never the end
of the world.
“I don’t think journalists ever appreciate the
skill set they develop over the years. There
are opportunities to match that skill set, but
you have to seek them out,” he said.
Er, um, great to hear that news, think I’ll run
my resume down to Jimmy Melvin Jr. Inc.
Enterprises, I’m sure they can put a man of
my varied experience to work in some official
capacity.

TRENTONWORKS
TRUSTEE TALK
BY RAY L. RHODES
I AM HEARING CONFLICTING REPORTS OF
RECENT ACTIVITY ON THE TRENTONWORKS
FRONT.
A well-placed source tells me the Dexter
government replaced financial consultants
Ernst & Young and appointed an NDP-sympathetic
lawyer as the trustee in bankruptcy
for the idle Trentonworks plant.
I understand insiders perceived the rumoured
Dexter changeover as politically motivated,
and not a reflection on Ernst & Young’s
performance.
But Ernst & Young exec George Kinsman
dismissed the scuttlebutt on January 28, telling
me categorically, “It is not the case. We’re
continuing to act as the trustee in bankruptcy
for Trentonworks. Ok?”
According to another source, who is
uniquely knowledgable on the subject, word
began circulating just before Christmas that
Dexter was about to orchestrate the trustee
changeover and put another firm in charge of
the idle railcar manufacturer.
Despite talk of backroom intrigue, the official
line on January 15 from a spokesthingy
with the provincial Economic Development
office has status quo the order the day.
“No change has been made on the file,”
according to Vicki Roberts.
U.S. owner Greenbrier abandoned
Trentonworks in May 2007 for Mexico, leaving
about 300 Pictou County workers without
jobs, without severance, and staring into
a void made up of a multi-million dollar pension
shortfall.
Greenbrier hired former Sysco trustee Ernst
& Young to sell the plant; in March 2008, after
a buyer could not be found, E&Y became
the court-appointed trustee, and Trentonworks
filed for bankruptcy, citing $6.5 million in liabilities
and $4.9 million in assets. The province,
ahem, the taxpayer, is the largest creditor.
Via the Economic Development office, in
October 2008 the ruling Tory government
handed trustee Ernst & Young $2.6 million to
maintain the historic plant’s facilities and
equipment.
Last July, the Dexter government wrote off
$5 million in bad debt associated with
Trentonworks.
Currently, I hear negotiations are ongoing
with an unidentified offshore company interested
in purchasing the plant.
Stay tuned.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
THE USUAL SUSPECTS
BAG THE CASH
BY MEG A. BUCKS
TIME AND TIME AGAIN, ECONOMIC
DEVELOPMENT CASH THAT IS SUPPOSEDLY
INTENDED TO SERVE THE GREATER GOOD OF
THE PROVINCE IS INSTEAD FUNNELLED INTO
THE COFFERS OF A FEW FAVOURITE
COMPANIES.
The January 25 announcement that ACOA
has earmarked millions from its Atlantic Innovation
Fund for a trio of private Nova
Scotia companies — Dartmouth-based
Ocean Nutrition, Composites Atlantic Ltd.
in Lunenburg, and topical cream manufacturer
Origin BioMed — is but the latest example
in a long, long, line of them.
In 2008 I calculated that Ocean Nutrition,
founded by Clearwater fish baron John
Risley in 1997, had received more than $50
million in government loans (all interest-free,
some completely risk free), payroll rebates,
loan guarantees, gifts and more. As of last
week, that total sits in the neighbourhood of
$53 million, give or take.
Composites Atlantic makes components for
aircrafts, space shuttles and the like. Founded
by Maurice Guitton in 1988, its newest influx
of government funding, about $1.9 million, is
to be used to develop a cost-efficient hollow
core, all-composite strut for the airline industry.
It’s the third time the company has received
funding from the Atlantic Innovation
Fund, for a total of $4.4 million in provisionally
repayable loans. The loans are provisionally
repayable because if the particular project
being funded doesn’t make any money, the
government loses its investment.
Since 1996, Composites has received an
additional $3.3 million from other ACOA pots,
and $9 million from the province, which has
a 50 per cent ownership stake in the company.
The other half is owned by French aerospace
giant EADS.
It’s the first time Origin BioMed, which
makes over-the-counter remedies to relieve
diabetic pain and cold sores, has received
cash from this particular fund. It’s getting $3
million spread over three years to develop
new topical treatments for other ailments. Just
like Composites Atlantic, the province of Nova
Scotia is heavily invested in Origin, to the tune
of $3.7 million. How much equity in the company
that dollar amount represents for the
taxpayers of Nova Scotia, I cannot say. But it
is significant.
To date, ACOA has also provided Origin with
another $1.8 million in tax-free loans.
ACOA mouthpuppet David Harrigan says
these companies, and others like them, get
repeat business from ACOA because they
represent the cream of the crop, “the best
possible projects.”
David says that every application submitted
for consideration for AIF funding is vetted
by an arms length board for quality and commercial
potential alone. Not a moment’s
thought is wasted on whether the applicant
has received funding before.
“There’s no way we would penalize a company
simply because it has submitted a successful
application before,” he says.
Alright, try this one on for size. Say there
are two great projects. One’s from Ocean
Nutrition, which has benefited from an obscene
amount of government largesse, and
one comes from a little guy without the proverbial
pot, window, etc.
What then?
“We rely on the recommendations of the
advisory board ... nobody’s penalized ... every
project is based on its own merits,” he says.
‘Already repaying’
A company’s past repayment history doesn’t
enter into it, either, because research and development
is so time consuming that there’s a
chance money given out eight years ago hasn’t
yet yielded a profitable product. But, he helpfully
points out that Ocean Nutrition is “already
repaying” some of its past contributions.
Considering a chunk of every paycheque
I’ve earned since high school has made its
way to Risley&Orr Inc. — not to mention the
fact that Ocean Nutrition’s Omega-3 food
additive can currently be found in orange juice,
salad dressing, breakfast cereal, frozen yogurt,
brownies and bagels the world over — I
would bloody well HOPE that Ocean Nutrition
is already repaying its debt to the Canadian
taxpayer.
In an interesting bit of timing, a Canadian
Press story concerning ACOA’s tendency to
keep doling out its cash to the same cast of
characters appeared just nine days before the
latest AIF announcement. In the story, scribe
Michael Tutton reveals that six companies
and one university-affiliated corporation have
received cash from ACOA every year, like
clockwork, since 1989.
The most notable local company in this pack
is John Bragg’s Oxford Frozen Foods,
which has received $12.4 million in that time
period. Perhaps more disturbing is that a staggering
82 other companies have received
cash in at least 10 of the last 20 years, for a
total of $203 million.
CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE
FEBRUARY 16, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 19

ANOTHER BEATON
FAMILY TRAGEDY
THEY SAY LIGHTNING NEVER STRIKES TWICE,
BUT THE NEW YEAR’S DAY MURDER OF JON
BEATON WAS NOT THE FIRST TRAGEDY TO BE-
FALL THE BEATON FAMILY OF SOUTHSIDE HAR-
BOUR, ANTIGONISH.
Shortly after millions cheered as the big,
shiny ball dropped in Times Square, a brawl Jon Beaton
broke out on College Street in the Little Vatican, right across from
the RK MacDonald Nursing Home, and Jon, 25, died as the result of
a brutal stabbing.
While rumours of a drug deal gone bad are rife, police are not publicly
identifying the catalysts for the sudden wave of violence that saw
five revellers dispatched to St. Martha’s Hospital practically before
the conclusion of Auld Land Syne.
I know some locals believe Jon was an innocent bystander, who
stepped into the melee to prevent a girl from being stabbed.
As of January 29, no one had been charged with his murder.
As reported elsewhere, the Queen’s Cowboys have laid multiple
assault and weapons-related charges in the New Year’s rampage
against Christopher David Fodham, 19; Jullian Frederick Chittick,
24, of Halifax; and an 18-year-old Dartmouth male.
With his premature death, folks with longer memories than mine are
quietly recalling how Jon’s brother Todd did not live to see the quarter
of a century milestone.
Todd Allister Beaton was only 24, and had been missing for 18
months, when a local fisherman discovered his dead body inside his
car, submerged beneath the bridge near Dunn’s Beach at Antigonish
Harbour. Todd’s April 29, 1991 obituary cites the cause of death as
drowning.
At the time RCMP did not suspect foul play. It was presumed that
Todd, a fisherman by trade, had somehow driven off the bridge and
into the deepest spot of the channel. As one local recalls, the gristly
discovery was made during “an extraordinarily low tide.”
In his obituary, the family requested donations in Todd’s name be
made to the Victims of Violence nonprofit foundation in Ottawa.
Jon and Todd, who would have turned 42 this year, were both predeceased
by their brother Kyle Beaton.
Their late father, Allister Beaton, who I believe was a fisherman,
predeceased Jon, whose mother Sharon (Boudreau) Beaton now lives
in New Glasgow.
Does Frank Know? atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
USUAL SUSPECTS, FROM PREVIOUS PAGE
The article quotes a gentleman by the name of Mark Mike, a research
director with the Frontier Centre for Public Policy in Winnipeg
as describing the “folly” of this pattern of funding.
“It’s not really about economic development, it’s about job redistribution.
It’s about favouring one company at the expense of another business,”
Mike said.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d think ACOA spokesperson Richard
Gauthier, who reporter Mike quotes in his story, is singing from the
same hymn book as Halifax-based ACOA mouthpuppet David Harrigan:
“ACOA does not have a policy of refusing applications based solely
on the number of projects already undertaken with a particular client,”
Richard told him.
In a country where there are calls for an inquiry every time somebody
sneezes, why aren’t we demanding the government explain itself here?
Does Frank Know? atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
20 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK FEBRUARY 16, 2010
A CASE TO WATCH
BY MADAME X
HERE SHE IS, FOLKS! THIS IS
GOLDEEN ST. ANNE DUNCAN,
THE WOMAN HALIFAX COPS AC-
CUSED OF RUNNING A “COMMON
BAWDY HOUSE” AT A RED FERN
TERRACE ABODE* IN CLAYTON
PARK BACK IN DECEMBER (LE-
GAL BRIEFS, FRANK 577).
As reported elsewhere, 27year-old
Goldeen was arraigned
at the Spring Garden Road
courthouse last week.
Wearing dark pants, a printed
top, and a light blue jacket with
furry trim, Goldeen sat quietly
until called upon to come forward.
Because Goldeen’s Legal Aid
Goldeen Duncan
lawyer Margaret MacKenzie
waived reading of the charge, few
present in court that day would
have been aware of the current
legal predicament facing the
young woman with the tightly
pulled hair.
If convicted, Ms. Duncan could
face up to two years in jail.
Interestingly enough, I witnessed
an unidentified woman
approach Goldeen immediately
following her court appearance
and offer her what appeared to 7 Red Fern Terrace
be a business card from Stepping
Stone, the sex-workers rights outfit. While I’m not one to eavesdrop,
I do believe I heard the lady tell Goldeen, “Well, the Crown will
have to prove that.”
During the actual courtroom proceedings, I heard the Crown prosecutor,
whose name escapes me, make mention of disclosure, which
apparently includes video footage. Of what, exactly, I don’t know.
But I sure am interested.
Goldeen is due back in court March 3.
* The address in question is owned by South End Halifax resident
Michael Yu, an immigration consultant, and his Regina Terrace
wife Zinnia.
Does Frank Know? atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
PAULA GALLANT
Murdered:
December 27, 2005
AS OF
January 30, 2010...
1 4 9 5
DAYS
WITHOUT AN ARREST

HOSE WHO’S
IN CHARGE
BY SMOKEY TEAR
ABOUT A MONTH AFTER THE NOVEMBER
9 DEATH OF LONG-TIME WINDSOR FIRE
CHIEF FRED FOX, THE TOWN’S FIVE
MEMBER COUNCIL APPOINTED SCOTT
FIREHOUSE
FROLICS
BURGESS AS HIS SUCCESSOR DURING ITS LAST REGULAR MEETING
OF 2009.
After seeking legal advice on the matter, Windsor CAO Louis
Couthino tells me the town made a conscious decision not to advertise
the position.
“At the end of the day, the question is, what’s the right thing to do?”
he says.
After consulting with members of the volunteer department, it became
clear that they’ve been happy with Scott since he was named
interim chief when Fred went out on sick leave in 2008.
Fred, a carpenter by trade, died of mesothelioma, a cancer common
to firefighters caused by exposure to asbestos. He was 56.
Despite a few naysayers, Louis says respecting the men’s wishes of
“continuity of leadership” was important, adding that Scott is certainly
qualified, having worked himself up through the ranks from lieutenant
to captain to deputy chief.
The position pays between $60,000 and $72,000.
Meanwhile over in Kentville, town and county administrators are
preparing to hold a competition for the job of paid fire chief, despite
the fact that Shaun Ripley has served as volunteer chief for some 20
years.
But Kentville CAO Keith Robicheau says the decision to advertise
isn’t a reflection on Shaun’s abilities.
“There’s no question that Shaun has had the confidence of the volunteer
firefighters for some time,” but, he says, there are “processes”
that have to be followed.
I understand Shaun, who for years worked as a sheriff at the Kentville
New Windsor Fire Chief Scott Burgess and
his predecessor, the late Fred Fox (inset).
Justice Centre, left his job around the same time Kentville Town
Council endorsed the idea of a paid chief in September of 2008.
The volunteer chief receives an honorarium in the neighbourhood of
$20,000, while the permanent position will pay about three times that.
Does Frank Know? atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
THIS ISN’T GOING TO HURT A BIT...
BY MOE LAHR
Judith Irene Carter, the 59-year-old bookkeeper from Dartmouth
who pleaded guilty to ripping off a trio of Spring Garden Road dentists
over a four-year period (Frank 574) has, not surprisingly, been
issued a conditional sentence.
“I’m very sorry for what happened and all the innocent people I
have hurt,” Judy told Judge Bill Digby last week.
And so she should be. She used her employment with Dr. Gary
Foshay, Dr. Stacey Matheson and Dr. Edward Hannigan as an
opportunity to bilk the threesome out of about $45,000.
Crown attorney Mark Hareema told the court Judy cut cheques to
herself, while making others out to CASH, instead of issuing them to
the proper payees identified in the ledger for expenses.
AVIVA Insurance covered the combined $30,000 in losses incurred
by Drs. Foshay and Matheson. But when it came to his $15,000,
Dr. Hannigan was S.O.L.
In sentencing Judy for her duplicity, Judge Digby ordered her to
pay restitution in the full amount, though I wouldn’t hold my breath
waiting for the payments to roll in. Stand-alone restitution orders
such as the one meted out to Judy are about as meaningful as a
Tiger Woods marriage vow.
Per Judge Digby’s other orders, Judy will spend the first year of
her two-year sentence under house arrest, and the following six
months under a 7 p.m. to 6 a.m. curfew.
She was also directed to complete 100 hours of community service,
attend for various types of counselling, and take part in some
sort of shop-lifting program. Presumably one that frowns on it.
She’s also been forbidden from securing any kind of employment
that involves the handling of money.
Last year, Halifax’s Finest charged Judy with theft and possession
of stolen property after the Sears at the Penhorn Mall reported
that an employee had been caught stealing cash.
At last check that matter was due to go to court in April.
Does Frank Know? atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
FEBRUARY 16, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 21

VREGE’S PONZI TAB
BY RIP TOFT
MORE MUDSLINGING ON THE VREGE AND
LISA ARMOYAN DIVORCE FRONT.
Lisa’s most recent affidavit describes
Vrege’s alleged Florida business relationship
with disgraced Miami lawyer Scott Rothstein,
who pleaded guilty on January
27 to masterminding a $1.2 billion
Ponzi scheme (Frank 577).
U.S. press reports indicate
Armco Capital Inc. bigwig
Vrege fell victim to “Miami’s
Madoff,” and reportedly invested
a whopping $3.62 million
US with Rothstein, who
scammed dozens of high-rollers
by a conjurer’s trick, promising
fat returns on bogus settlement
claims.
The Orlando Sun-Sentinel
reports that Vrege received
$420,000 from Rothstein in the
three months before the house
of cards collapsed.
Presumably, Vrege’s remaining $3.2 million
investment shows up on the Rothstein debtor
books.
Before Rothstein’s December 1 arrest,
Vrege was evidently among the legions of
Southern Floridians trying to curry favour
with the charismatic snake charmer. I requested
an interview on his Rothstein dealings,
but Vrege did not call me back.
Lisa’s affidavit states Vrege wanted to further
his biz relationship and “went so far as to
instruct Armco’s employees to encourage the
city of Halifax to name a street after Scott
Rothstein.” (Street? Try a cul-de-sac! — ed.)
According to Lisa, Vrege “was actively trying
to establish himself in the Boca Raton
business scene” and did not intend for his family
to return permanently to Halifax, where their
$2.83 million assessed Marlborough Woods
abode is now a disputed marital asset in the
divorce (Frank 575).
Lisa alleges “Vrege told me that he had a
team of lawyers, and accountants from
Deloitte Touche, working on how we were
going to move to Florida without there being
any tax consequences for him.” Allegedly,
Vrege harboured grand relocation dreams.
“He sometimes discussed living on an island
in the Caribbean for tax purposes... (and)
would remain in Florida, but become a citizen
of a Caribbean island, so he could pay taxes
but enjoy the life in Florida ... he would buy a
boat and a satellite phone, so he could travel
back and forth between the island and Florida
without his movements being easily traced,”
courts papers state.
22 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK FEBRUARY 16, 2010
An earlier affidavit from Lisa claims in December
Vrege purchased a $1.6 million luxury
yacht.
Prior to their August 2008 move to Boca
Raton, Lisa alleges she and Vrege were at the
Toronto sushi restaurant KI, when he explained
that he could get tax relief if they
moved to the U.S., divorced and
began co-habiting.
As their 16-year marriage
crumbled in Boca Raton, Lisa
alleges Vrege threatened to
abandon Lisa “and leave me
penniless if I commenced litigation
against him.”
Her Florida court divorce petition
was prompted by her “growing
concern that he would carry
out the threat.”
Nova Scotia court papers indicate
that on December 2, the
day local media headlines announced
Rothstein’s arrest, a
Sunshine State judge ordered
Vrege Armoyan
Vrege, who receives about
$200,000 US-per from Armco, to pay Lisa
$150,000 in support.
Less than two months later, Lisa, who is
renting a $8,000 monthly Boca Raton abode
where she lives with their two daughters,
claims she has spent most of the $150,000.
“Yesterday, Vrege told me he will give me
no more money, he will only cover the children’s
expenses,” she alleges in an affidavit
entered into N.S. court on January 28.
“I cannot afford to carry on litigation in two
jurisdictions,” she pleads.
On February 8, Supreme Court Judge
Gerald Moir is expected to rule on the requirement
for Lisa’s attendance in Halifax court for
Armco v. Lisa Armoyan, scheduled for the
Lower Water Street courthouse on February
11. Armco is seeking a court order to prevent
Lisa from disclosing confidential biz info the
firm alleges she swiped from Vrege’s company
laptop.
That their dispute has reached the litigation
stage is apparently against the wishes of both
Vrege and his brother, Bay Street wheelerdealer
George Armoyan, who has taken a
Vrege-related leave of absence from his moneymaking
duties at Clarke Inc. Both brothers,
Lisa alleges, “indicated they wanted to avoid
publicity and this was before the press had
published news of our marriage breakdown.”
In the Armco suit, Lisa wants to testify via
videotape from Florida, and argues the matter
is part of her Florida court divorce action.
Stay tuned.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
DINOSAUR ROAMS
BARRINGTON ST.
I HAVEN’T READ THE LATEST, AND NO DOUBT
TREMENDOUSLY EDIFYING, NEWSLETTER FROM
PAUL MACKINNON’S DOWNTOWN HALIFAX
BUSINESS COMMISSION, BUT I’M WONDERING
IF IT CONTAINS A NEW BYLAW ORDERING EVE-
RYONE ON BARRINGTON STREET TO PAPER
OVER THEIR STOREFRONT WINDOWS.
Last year the DHBC make-work project
parasitically sucked $569,466 from its duespaying
members, a small pool that’s dwindling
by the hour. In these lean economic times,
where downtown commercial enterprises are
falling like dominos, the DHBC, led by Paul
the urban visionary, is fast becoming an ineffective
dinosaur whose value is nebulous at
best.
Amassing a whopping $702,321 in total revenue
(mostly from the levy, merch sales,
sponsorship and the like), Paul’s fiscally outof-control
fiefdom ended the last fiscal year
in the red, with a $89,693 shortfall. (They can’t
even run a decent Xmas parade! — ed.)
Excessive salaries and benefits ($217,739,
and its website currently lists only three FT
staff), and outlandishly high administration
($130,712) and marketing costs ($225,878),
suggest that the DHBC is in a league of its
own, when it comes to spending like there’s
no tomorrow.
I propose one way Paul can raise revenue,
is by renting himself out as an organ grinder,
with a monkey by his side. I suspect Paul will
have no trouble finding a vacant spot or two
on Barrington to set up shop ... and who
knows, perhaps a kind soul may even pass
by and throw a coin into his outstretched cap.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
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loyalsubscriber2

I SPY WITH
MY LITTLE EYE...
BY IRIS N. CORNEA
I UNDERSTAND NEWS OF THE SUDDEN RESIGNATION OF DR.
ALEJANDRA VALENZUELA FROM THE CAPITAL DISTRICT HEALTH
AUTHORITY’S OPHTHALMOLOGY DEPT. LITERALLY HAS PATIENTS
BAWLING THEIR EYES OUT.
Dr. Alejandra resigned from Dalhousie, where she held an associate
professorship, effective at the end of January.
“We received a letter” with Alejandra’s resignation, confirmed uni
spokesthingy Charles Crosby. “We accepted the letter.
We did not solicit it.”
Charles was not at liberty to discuss why Dr. Alejandra,
a young, brilliant — and by all accounts adored —
woman at the top of her profession, would suddenly
call it quits in the blink an eye.
Asked about Dr. Alejandra, who I believe is in her early
40s and whose colleagues regard her as an exceptional
surgeon — the only specialist of her kind east of Montreal
— and whose patients travel from Cape Breton,
P.E.I., and New Brunswick to see her, ex-Herald hack
turned CDHA spokesthingy John Gillis succinctly replied,
“She resigned from Dalhousie, not from Capital
Health.”
While he helpfully promised to verify her CDHA employment
status, John did not get back to me before
deadline.
But when one calls Dr. Alejandra’s CDHA hotline,
which I immediately did after hanging up with John, the good doc’s
calming voice declares, “As of January 28, (I) will no longer be practising
medicine within the Capital District Health Victoria Hospital,”
the sight site of its Eye Care Centre, and where Dr. Alejandra worked
her eyeball restoration magic for the past few years.
Her voice-mail message also states, “Please be advised that it has
not been determined where every patient will be referred.”
The visual visionary adds, in a rather detached tone, “There is no
doctor with her speciality replacing the position immediately.”
I left a message, unreturned at presstime, with Alejandra, a 1992
grad from the prestigious Santiago-based Catolica de Chile U., who
MORE MEDIA MADNESS...
FOUR SNORES AND THREE COLUMNS AGO, THE COMICAL
HERALD TRUMPETED THE ARRIVAL OF FORMER COAST SCRIBE
LEZLIE LOWE TO ITS STORIED PAGES, PROMISING READERS
WEEKEND OFFERINGS FROM AN EYE-CATCHING LASS IT DESCRIBED
AS “PROVOCATIVE, INSIGHTFUL, (AND) UNPREDICTABLE.”
Now, nearly a month into the Hydrostone rezzie’s Herald tenure,
and having endured rambles around Truro Mayor Bill Mills’s queercommunity
aversion, the benefits of at-home teen alcohol consumption
and, most recently, international fear-mongering, I’m left thinking
Lezlie’s Horrid scribblings are not unlike a rednecked WASP’s inaugural
visit to the Chinese buffet. You’re compelled by curiosity and
HEALTH
&
BEAUTY
I’m told counts among her CDHA champions medical heavyweights
Dr. Bruce Pretty and Dr. Ivar Mendez.
According to one of her patients, when word of Dr. Alejandra’s resignation
passed through her waiting room in January, “People started
crying.”
My source tells me she demanded to know why the doc was leaving,
and was reportedly told, “I had no choice. I had absolutely no
choice.”
My source, who can’t stop raving about Dr. Alejandra’s exceptional
patient care, relayed how the Walter Havill Drive rezzie would hand
out her house number to post-op patients, urging them
to call any time, day or night.
She adds, “I’ve never known a doctor who loves her
job so much. She gives medicine a human face.”
But depressingly familiar tales from the rumour mill
suggest her CDHA superiors did not show Dr.
Alejandra the level of respect the top surgeon deserved.
In shades of Drs. Michael Goodyear and Gabrielle
Horne, talented doctors whose careers were stymied
by managerial brow-beating, unconfirmed indications
are that Dr. Alejandra may well be another victim of
institutional bullying.
The ophthalmology department is run by Dr. Alan
Cruess, who then-CDHA ceo Don Ford and Dal
prezzie Tom Traves appointed in July 2003.
Himself a leading expert in the field, Cruess arrived
with impeccable credentials from Queens U. and as
medical director of Kingston’s Hotel Dieu Hospital. He succeeded
Dr. Raymond LeBlanc, who oversaw the Halifax eye ward for 24 years.
Despite being led by touchy-feely, so-called “people-centred”,
“leadershift” health nut Chris “Butterfly” Power, the CDHA in many
respects remains an old boys club, where the powers-that-be exercise
double-standards, and brilliant young women and brilliant young
men are not treated alike. Again, I refer you to Dr. Gabrielle Horne’s
endless Kafka-esque quest to restore her medical privileges in that
last bastion of male chauvinism, our Capital District Health Authority.
Does Frank Know? atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
MORE SNORES THAN ROARS FROM EDGY MS. LOWE
great supply to consume as much of what’s
there as you possibly can — you paid for it,
after all — but you’re left feeling empty, if
not cheated, the moment the exercise is
over.
Says one of my followers: “Had Sarah
Dennis or whomever actually read
Lezlie Lowe
(Lezlie’s) column in the years it appeared
in The Coast, they would have found another blase hipster with a penchant
for liberally dropping f-bombs and ‘mehs’ in hopes of winning
over the Facebook and texting-addicted masses.”
Says I: We gave up Peter Duffy phantasmic anal-rape tales and
Coronation Street spoilers for this?
FEBRUARY 16, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 23

BLIND DATE WITH A BI-WEEKLY
FAMILY MAGAZINE REPORTER!!!!!
BY DUTCH TREAT
THE RECENT BLIND DATE WITH A STAR!
SHINDIG, HELD EVERY YEAR TO BENEFIT
CHILDREN’S LITERACY, RAISED SOME IM-
PORTANT QUESTIONS.
Things like, can the stigma faced by children
with learning disabilities be overcome?
Is it ever too late to help a child learn to read?
The answers to those questions are: yes and
no.
Other, more complicated questions must
also be addressed.
Questions like, isn’t the exclamation point
after Star! a bit much?
Does 101.3 The Bounce morning co-host
Jordan Knight know that her name is already
being used by one of the New Kids on the
Block? If so, is she trying to be ironic?
How does one become a “business
humourist” like Bill Carr?
Does John Gracie realize that since the
deaths of Ray Charles, Miles Davis and John
Lee Hooker, the privilege of wearing sunglasses
inside is solely reserved for Stevie
Wonder? (Terry Kelly gets a pass, too — ed.)
What sick sonofabitch decided to give away
free wine but charge $2.75 for a soda water?
Some of us are trying to complete our 12
Steps, for Chrissakes.
Why was Halifax Regional School Board
superintendent Carole Olsen sitting over at
the McInnes Cooper table and not with the
other celebrities?
About 450 people turned up at the World
Trade and Convention Centre on January
18 for the 10th edition of the event, and, let
me tell you, the stars were out in full force.
Stars like political has-been Alexa
McDonough! Canadian Idol has-been
Dwight D’Eon! Some wine snob guy! A canoe
paddler! The big bald guy that does the
political cartoons! The other guy that does the
political cartoons!
For those unfamiliar with the concept, guests
pay $125 apiece and are matched up, in groups
of 10, with any one of 47 random celebrities.
The guests and their celebrity are then whisked
away to one of 43 participating restaurants to
spend a delightful evening. If you’re wondering
about the uneven number of restaurants and
celebs, I’m advised one lucky group of 10 had
Brad, Peter and Moya from the C100 Breakfast
Club all to themselves!
Learning Disabilities Association of Nova
Scotia mouthpuppet Matt Currie tells me the
recent event was one of the most successful
to date, raising a total of $45,425 for its LINKS
Children’s Literacy Program.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
24 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK FEBRUARY 16, 2010
What are yoose,
stupid?
EITHER I’M REALLY
THICK OR THEY’RE
THAT GOOD:
Grafton Street Dinner
Theatre actresses Kelly
Edwards (left) and Cyndi
Locke affected New York
accents to flog raffle tickets
for a trip to the Big Apple
courtesy of Fraser & Hoyt,
and I still wouldn’t know it
was a put-on if they hadn’t
told me the difference.
My suit jacket is made from
material developed by NASA and
will withstand temperatures of up
to 2,000 degrees Celsius. My
bowtie is from Sears.
Tease and
comb maven/
frosted
cupcake
specialist/
self esteem
expert/
experimental
fabric
connoisseur
Fred
Connors.
Atlantic
Frank
Twitter
follower/
CBC Radio
personality
Costas
Halavrezos.
WILL BE QUIRKY AND
LOVEABLE FOR SALARY AND
BENEFITS: “I guess you could
say I’m still looking for a
home,” says Heidi Petracek on
life after the cancellation of
her CBC television series
Living Halifax in early 2009.
Another disappointment
followed in the fall, when Heidi
looked poised to replace
outgoing Q104 morning
straight-woman and news
reader Lisa Blackburn, but
ultimately lost the job to
Jessica Rankin.
TRADE YA?:
Trade Centre
Limited sales
honcho Paul
Cody and Jill
Black.

Sales manager Chris Conrad, left, and
Ticket Atlantic account manager Troy
Ryan were also on deck to bolster the
Trade Centre Ltd. contingent.
Disregard the sign
behind me. I’m an A-lister.
DRUM!
vocalist
Dutch
Robinson.
BELOW:
Talented and
fragrant
Secunda
Marine gals
Lonita Blinn
(left) and
Cathy
Wentzell.
THEY’LL HAVE TO SETTLE FOR HEIDI: Over at the Zephyr Rug & Home/
Aucoin Locksmiths table, Matina Aucoin, Penny Carvalho and Elizabeth
Kinsman decided that Maria Panopalis
was their first choice
for a celebrity date.
Unfortunately,
although
Maria has
participated
in past
Blind Date
events, she
didn’t sign up
for the 2010
edition.
BELOW:
One moment,
Information
Morning
chatterbox Liz
Logan is having
a delightful chat
with her fellow
stars. The next,
Nancy Regan is
using her for
cover to defend
against an
assault from an
oncoming Frank
photog.
MY HEART BELONGS TO... My Nan, looking
positively radiant, eventually came out from
behind Liz Logan when I promised that her photo
wouldn’t appear on the cover of Frank 578. We’ll
just blow it up to twice its size for the next issue.
FEBRUARY 16, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 25

FRANK-FUCIUS SAY...
Even a fool who keeps
his mouth shut
is considered wise.
Don Mills
Meet your
opponent
halfway.
You need
the exercise.
Rita McNeil
You are entitled
to your entitlements.
Dave Dingwall
Your endless
questions
leave others
running in circles.
Steve Murphy
Do not compromise
your talent.
Ellen Page
26 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK FEBRUARY 16, 2010
JUST NOT SO STORIES
(YES, WE MAKE THEM UP)
Your sunny disposition
will help you survive
another
leadership loss.
Bill Black
You are deeply
loved by
your cat.
Mayann Francis
A little knowledge
is a dangerous thing.
Marie Mullally
WE ASKED OUR FAVOURITE MOVERS AND SHAKERS TO REVEAL THE SECRETS
HIDDEN INSIDE THEIR FORTUNE COOKIE. HERE’S WHAT THEY DISCOVERED...
Children
are a blessing
from the Lord.
Raymond Lahey
You reveal yourself
to others.
Leonore Zann
A bird
that flies
north in
winter
may well
encounter
Frost.
Mike Danton
Always be
happy and gay.
Bill Mills
You will be invited
to an exciting event.
Maggie Fountain
He who fights in
the casino Lady Luck
sends to jail.
Jimmy Melvin Jr.
Look for new
outlets for your
creative abilities.
Liz Rigney
It’s never in vogue
to prorogue.
Stephen Harper
Tomorrow is full
of unpredictable
weather.
Cindy Day
He who kisses
mayor’s
backside lands
job at City Hall.
Peter Duffy
Hard to eat crow
when mouth
full of steak.
Frankie Corbett

If you continually
give, you will
continually
have-not.
Graham Steele
You will duplicate
your wife’s success
at the polls.
Gerald Keddy
The stench
of sewage
is hard to
shake off.
Peter Kelly
He who laughs
at himself
never runs out
of things
to laugh at.
Richard Homburg
A man is only
as good
as his word.
Peter McKay
JUST NOT SO STORIES
(YES, WE MAKE THEM UP)
Best to keep
company laptop
from
estranged wife.
Vrege Armoyan
All good things must
come to an end.
Ben McCrae
Good fences make
good neighbours.
Carolyn Davis-Stewart
An abrupt career
change awaits.
Tera Camus
Power corrupts,
and absolute power
corrupts absolutely.
Darrell Dexter
You long to be
a hair dresser.
Sidney Crosby
Go forth, and pluck thy
eyebrows! Don’t forget
to do good deeds as you
accumulate wealth.
John Risley
Imparting nothing
but inane drivel,
you are a waste
of precious oxygen.
Cyril Lunney
Father
knows best.
Sarah Dennis
When in doubt,
blame the media.
Frank Beazley
Those with head
in clouds fall quickly
to earth.
John McDonnell
Make two grins grow
where there was only
a grouch before.
Sue Uteck
Your money
worries
are over!
Your new
job will bring
you a huge
increase
in income!
Lezlie Lowe
He who poses with motorcycle
on billboard denigrates the
academic standing of his university.
Ray Ivany
FEBRUARY 16, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 27

THAT PAGE IN FRANK
SO DID YOU HEAR ABOUT
MIKE DANTON COMING
TO PLAY HERE AT SMU?
YEAH, I DON’T KNOW IF I LIKE THE
IDEA OF HAVING A CONVICTED
CRIMINAL ON OUR TEAM...
WERE THIS SOME QUOTIDIAN MATTER OF HOUSING OR EMPLOYMENT
THEN PERHAPS SO, BUT AS OUR NATIONAL GAME (BY POPULAR
AFFECTION IF NOT OFFICIAL DESIGNATION), ICE HOCKEY BEARS A
SYMBOLIC WEIGHT NECESSITATING A HIGHER STANDARD OF
CONDUCT AMONG ITS AMBASSADORS TO THE PUBLIC SQUARE.
I’M VERY SORRY MIKE, BUT WE ALL VOTED AND WE’VE DECIDED
LETTING SOMEBODY LIKE YOU ON OUR TEAM MIGHT BE BAD FOR US.
AWW GEE WHIZ FELLAS,
THAT’S OKAY. I UNDERSTAND.
I GUESS I WOULDN’T
WANT A ROTTEN JAILBIRD
LIKE ME AROUND EITHER.
28 FEBRUARY 16, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK
PERSONALLY I WORRY
THAT OUR SPORT’S IMAGE
RISKS BEING SULLIED
THROUGH ASSOCIATION
WITH AN INDIVIDUAL OF HIS
UNGENTLEMANLY HISTORY.
BUT DOESN’T THE FACT THAT HE
HAS EXPRESSED CONTRITION
AND SERVED HIS DEBT TO
SOCIETY ENTITLE HIM TO OUR
FORGIVENESS, IN ACCORD WITH
THE CHRISTIAN SPIRIT OF OUR
SCHOOL’S FOUNDERS?
IN SHORT, TO UPHOLD OUR COLLECTIVE MORAL INTEGRITY IT IS
INCUMBENT UPON US TO RIGOROUSLY SHUN ALL QUESTION-
ABLE ELEMENTS THAT MIGHT, IN EITHER FACT OR APPEARANCE,
DIMINISH THIS SPORT’S CHERISHED GOOD NAME AND VIRTUE.
SIGH... I DIDN’T LIKE DOING THAT, BUT THERE’S JUST NO PLACE
FOR HIS NO-GOOD LAWBREAKING KIND AROUND HERE.
I MEAN, YOU REMEMBER
WHAT HAPPENED WHEN
MARTHA STEWART WAS
IN GOAL FOR U OF T--
WHAT THE HECK
WAS THAT?!?
I SUPPOSE
I MUST
CONCUR.
AIYEEEEEEE!!!

DEAR GOD - LOOK! GLORIA MACCLUSKY’S BANNED ALCOHOL FROM
PUBLIC FESTIVALS... AND NOW FOR THE FIRST TIME THOUSANDS OF
HALIGONIANS ARE DISCOVERING
WHAT AN HRM EVENT
LOOKS LIKE SOBER!
THIS IS TERRIBLE! IF OUR UNIVERSITY IS DESTROYED, 200 YEARS OF
HISTORY AND TRADITION WILL BE LOST FOREVER! COUNTLESS EDUCA-
TIONS WILL BE TORN ASUNDER! AND WE WON’T GET COOL VARSITY TEAM
JACKETS TO PICK UP CHICKS WITH! IF ONLY SOMEBODY COULD STOP IT!
AND
SOON...
MAYBE I CAN HELP!
WOW! I DON’T KNOW WHAT HE DID
EXACTLY - BUT SUDDENLY ALL THOSE
RIOTERS ARE NO LONGER IN THE PICTURE!
GASP! MIKE DANTON!
ST MARY’S
IS SAVED...
THANKS TO
MIKE
DANTON!!!
OH NO! ALL THOSE CRAZED NON-DRUNKS ARE SO ENRAGED THEY’RE
RIOTING ACROSS THE CITY! THEY’RE TEARING UP THE SMU CAMPUS...
SMASHING WINDOWS... OVERTURNING CARS... THEY’VE EVEN
THROWN A BUS OFF THE ROOF!
LEAPING SWIFTLY INTO ACTION, THE
COURAGEOUS EX-CON BOLDLY
FLIPS OPEN HIS PHONE AND...
HEY, IT’S ME AGAIN. I
NEED A... FAVOUR.
YEAH, THAT’S
RIGHT.
UH-HUH. COUPLA
HUNDRED MAYBE.
OKAY,
THANKS.
ACTUALLY, I JUST KNOW
A GUY AT THE BEER STO-
OH WAIT, NO,
THAT’S JUST
THAT ACADIA
LINES DRIVER
LOSING
CONTROL AGAIN.
BUT STILL.
YOU KNOW, YOU REALLY TAUGHT US ALL A LESSON TODAY MIKE. IN OUR
HIGH-MINDED PREJUDICE WE THOUGHT OUR “MORALS” AND “NON-
CRIMINALITY” MADE US BETTER THAN YOU - BUT WHEN THINGS GOT TOUGH,
YOU WERE THE ONE WILLING TO DO WHAT NEEDED TO BE DONE! I THINK I
SPEAK FOR US ALL WHEN I SAY... I’D BE PROUD TO HAVE YOU ON OUR TEAM.
DON’T NEED TO
KNOW, MIKE. DON’T
NEED TO KNOW.
ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK FEBRUARY 16, 2010 29

PHONE ANYTIME : (902) 420-1668
LETTERS
E-MAIL: atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
PO BOX 295, HALIFAX, NS B3J 2N7
AN OPEN LETTER TO SUE MOXLEY, LORD BISHOP
OF THE ECCLESIASTICAL PROVINCE OF NOVA SCOTIA
AND PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND (ANGLICAN)
My Lord Bishop,
I don’t suppose that Canon Ken Vaughan
of the parish of Annapolis has another small,
elegant, historical church to spare the good
Christian people of beleaguered Haiti. I think
post and beam construction is earthquake
resistant, though it might be susceptible to ter-
DO NOT TRY
THIS AT HOME
Dear Frank:
I read with interest several reports regarding
the installation of Brian Dunn as the new
bishop of the Diocese of Antigonish.
He seems like quite a capable fellow, despite
his rather unfortunate resemblance to
Killer Karl Krupp, sans the goatee and
monacle, of course.
But I have to ask — this has been troubling
me all day — why is it that none of the stories
I found explained anything at all about the actual
process of installing a bishop? Does it
require more or less plumber’s putty than one
would use to install a new toilet? If the bishop
is not installed properly, will I find him hang-
30 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK FEBRUARY 16, 2010
mites and other pests. Heaven knows, the
people of Haiti need our prayers at this time
and God’s help even more. I think a white
frame church will look very pretty surrounded
by palm trees. Don’t you?
A pious parishioner,
Halifax
The Bish The “Killer”
ing off the side of my house like my rain gutters?
Or is it more like installing a new operating
system on the computer, when you just
sit there clicking “OK” until it’s done?
Please advise.
Helen A. Handbasket,
Lower South River
INVISIBLE
MAN
Dear Frank:
What the hell happened to the
photo of Garnet Brown on p.
21 (Frank 577)? Was it a technical
glitch or was the blank
space meant to represent
Garnie’s intangible spirit?
U.F. Dup,
Chezzetcook
Yes, it was a technical glitch
(if you’re charitable enough
to call an editor making a
boo-boo a technical glitch).
So here’s the missing photo
of A. Garnet Brown speaking
in the Legislature as the
province’s first minister of
Recreation (we hope).
“Late Night” Amy
MORE THAN
MEETS
THE IOU
Dear Frank:
I’m addressing a brief commentary made in
your last issue regarding a financial tussle in
Shelburne County between Peter
Partington and a local bank (Legal Briefs,
Frank 577).
Now, I know something about this. Peter has
been financially assisting a very close family
member, who is going through a difficult, very
expensive divorce, and who has a large family
with no help from her ex. Add to this the
fact that Peter experienced a severe stroke
several years ago which compelled him to take
early retirement from DFO, and would have
died if it had not been for the vigilance of his
wife, who recently lost a sister. So, I think you’ll
find on deeper examination, that this is not
about a government “bigwig” having been
brought low, but rather members of a tightly
knit family temporarily facing challenges which
they undoubtedly will surmount in short order,
in an appropriate and responsible way.
Respectfully submitted,
Janet Chute
Halifax
CBC EVENING SNOOZE
Dear Frank:
Re-reading your earlier comments
on the CBC evening news package
— it doesn’t get any better, does it?
Disjointed, snippety, Amy Smith totally
lacking in warmth, at a time
when a lot of viewers are on their
way home.
I had a go at watching it again, but
have to despair of this publicly
funded fiasco.
I. M. Snorin,
Halifax
OF HUMAN BONDAGE
Dear Frank:
You nearly caused me to choke on my dinner last night when I
got to that kinky sex story involving one of my co-workers (Frank
577). Too much information! I repeat, too much information!
Ty M. Upp,
Via Twitter

FAX ANYTIME: (902) 423-0281
LETTERS
WEB: www.atlanticfrank.ca
PO BOX 295, HALIFAX, NS B3J 2N7
FROM THE
OSTRICH FILES
Dear Frank:
Re: Stephen & Laureen
Harper’s marriage, Frank 577
I can’t believe this story is
not being picked up!! What on
Earth is happening? Even if
they’re not living apart now,
surely it is worth reporting
even if it’s only in passing.
Ed Grrrr R. Murrow,
Melbourne, Australia
GOOD DEEDS INDEED
Dear Frank:
Re: Condo Memories of Randy Duplak,
Frank 576
What are you trying to say here?
The pluses of being a capable functionary
and committed to various
philanthropic organizations
seem to be cancelled out by
his work for the N.S. Human
Rights Kangaroo
Court and confining his
good deeds to those charities
most relevant to his
own tribe?
Hopefully not, but if so,
then I can only repeat that
aphorism of those humanitarians,
the Khmer Rouge,
Randy Duplak
and that is, “Keeping you is no gain. Losing
you is no loss.”
Next.
Jim Lehman,
East Margaretsville
A BIRD IN THE
HAND, ETC., ETC.
Dear Frank:
Curiosity runs deep in the woods about
Truro Park, so let’s send in a film crew.
Anxious folks need to see what these birds
are doing under the shaking bushes and
humps of snow. Or is it too frosty to huff ‘n’
puff? Ask the users.
Yours,
Hank E. Panky
I’M TOO SEXY FOR MY ... PORT
Hey Frank,
U R a dickhead. We Capers look at you and say “dickhead.” In your last
rag (Frank 577), you called Sydport an ugly duckling, and said the Philadelphia
Regional Port Authority sounded “more macho” than Sydport. We think,
no, we know it, you’re mixed up.
Philly’s name is way, way too formal, you know, it sounds like the someone
who has been in school too long. Macho it is not. Philly sounds girly, man!
Anyone, especially Hellifax — where they continue to spend and steal Cape
Breton’s money and industry every day — would love to have a macho, quickfast
name like Sydport.
Sydport is professional, and short, and to the point, don’t you think, dickhead?
Yes, we read your paper for free at the local convenience store. You think we
pay for garbage?
(signed) Capers Tommy, Robb, Will, James, Tony and Jim,
Undisclosed C.B. corner store
WHO YOU CALLIN’ A WANNABE?
Dear Frank:
I was reading your Frank 100 and noticed
an article about Brendan Riley, the son of
Sean Riley (Frank 575).
You were talking about how he got a $32,000
scholarship to St. F.X. and how it seemed unfit
he should receive it. I think your reporter
should have done some more research.
I went to school with Brendan last year and
he was an excellent, straight “A” student. (I
use quotes because he took IB - International
Bachaulaureate — which is actually graded
with numbers.)
There is no better student to receive such
LOCAL HEROS
ARE OFF LIMITS!
Dear Frank:
It’s great to see you crapping on the politicians and
money mongers of this country, but you go over the line
when you yap on unnecessarily about local heros like
Sidney Crosby. Only shows what a real dumb ass you
are and will certainly do nothing to help your circulation.
Hy Stickin,
Cole Harbour
THERE’S
NO LIFE
LIKE
IT...
Dear Frank:
I’m the married mother of two, and I
have more restrictions on my day-to-day
existence than convicted government
fraudster Natalie Pelrine’s conditional
sentence (Frank 577) does!
Rhea Dichulus,
West End Halifax
an award. He will be going places in his life,
unlike the NEWSpaper wannabe that wrote
this article. I understand that some, maybe
even a lot, of your articles are based on the
truth, but this article was just a way for the
reporter to have something to print because
he/she had no other stories.
I think an article with an apology is required
from your reporter, not only because it was disrespectful
to both Brendan and Sean, but because
I’m guessing that the reporter will have
nothing else good to print for the next issue.
U.S. Huck,
Antigonish County
Sidney Crosby
FEBRUARY 16, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 31

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