STARR SNATCHES THE SHOW! - Best Hosting Plan Ever

South End
divorce’s new
mystery bride
Read my lips!
Local
pastor
shown
the door
FRANK BY NAME, FRANK BY NATURE
ISSUE 582 GOOD TIL APRIL 13, 2010 $3.00
BARB BARB SETS SETS HER HER SIGHTS SIGHTS ON ON OPRAH
OPRAH
STARR SNATCHES THE SHOW!
Lawyer’s courtroom bombshell

TWEETS OF THE WEEK
Follow Frank on Twitter at www.twitter.com/Atlantic_Frank.
Because you never know when Frank may be watching.
Well-known M Home toiler Matt Pelley reportedly
moving to Toronto. (Tweeted March
26)
Ex-Lib MLA Richie Mann’s greeting to A.
Frank Grunt earlier today: “How are you doing
... you old gd C U Next Tuesday?”
(Tweeted March 25)
Word has it Sandy Getta, formerly of Winchester’s
fame, is back (in town) after a period
of time in Florida. (Tweeted March 25)
Political twits & tweets: The N.S. Legislature
is now on Twitter — @NSLeg (Tweeted
March 24)
Petty crime of the week (via
@KingsNSNews): A New Minas business
reported a button and clasp were stolen off
an article of used clothing. (Tweeted March
24)
For all the preventative maintenance the
Purdy’s Landing down escalator requires,
why not just install a friggin’ slide? (Tweeted
March 24)
Clearwater cofounder
John Risley
has replaced J.D.
Irving Limited exec
John F. Irving as
chairman of the board
at the Atlantic Institute
for Market Studies,
the Halifax-based
think thank. “John
Risley is such a vi-
sionary,” says the
Bridgewater Bulletin,
John Risley
quoting AIMS president & CEO Charles
Cirtwill. (Tweeted March 23)
TWITTER
RETWEET
OF THE WEEK
2 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK APRIL 13, 2010
A cop car on the Macdonald Bridge needs
to turn on its daytime running lights. (Illegally
tweeted March 23 while driving on the
Macdonald Bridge)
Wow! Is it just me,
or has the MLA expense
scandal taken a
serious physical toll on
PC leaderine Karen
Casey? (Tweeted
March 23)
Well, that stinks!
Barb “The Nose”
Stegemann (Frank
581) has blocked me
Karen Casey
from following her
@the7virtues tweets!
I’d be offended if I cared. (Tweeted March 23)
Halifax-based Aliant gal & ex-Fusion
czarina Alyson Queen
has earned the Accredited
Public Relations
(APR) designation, the
highest in the land.
Alyson is a Saint John,
N.B., gal and a graduate
of Mount Allison U.
(Tweeted March 23)
Lawyer Cameron
MacKeen spotted
sheepishly buying a copy
of The Enquirer @ Scotia
Square earlier today.
(Tweeted March 23)
“Mike Duffy is a recurring challenge. Flares up, creates trouble,
goes away. The Senate’s herpes if you will.”
— March 19, 2010, via @krisp131
a.k.a. Krista Spurr
Alyson Queen
“22 Minutes” star Gavin Crawford, Halifax
MP Megan Leslie, former HRM councillor
Krista Snow, interior consultant Jonathan
Legate, Assante financial dude Darren Dick,
lawyers Catherine Watson & Kevin Kindred,
and federal Liberal candidate Stan Kutcher
among those photographed @ Saturday’s
Fancy Gay Dress Ball (Tweeted March 22).
We surpassed the 700 followers mark today.
Do that many
people really care
what I have to say or
are they worried I may
say it about them?
(Tweeted March 17).
BT host Jayson
Baxter spotted @ the
Chickenburger — all
alone.
March 16)
(Tweeted
Realtor Steve
Patterson @ Q (restaurant
on Argyle).
(Tweeted March 15)
Old news, but news
to me: Ex-CTV gal
Anne Drewa (Frank
410) now @ Global.
(Tweeted March 15)
WTF? moment du
jour? Who knew the
Herald had a “comics
Jayson Baxter
editor” [Paul O
‘Connell]? (Tweeted
March 15)
Anne Drewa

ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK
HALIFAX, NOVA SCOTIA
ISSUE 582
APRIL 13, 2010
There is a House on Hollis Street
It’s filled with a group of bums
And it’s been the ruin of many a MLA
And, God, there’s more to come
Our Premier was a sailor
He loved those submarines
My ex-MLA was a radio man
But never a man of means
Now the only thing a MLA needs
Is a suitcase and a trunk
And the only time he’s satisfied
Is sitting in Dartmouth, drunk
Oh, mothers tell your children
What your MLAs have done
If they ask who the good ones are
You can tell them “virtually none”
You can tell them “virtually none”
The chickens are all home to roost
We know it’s all but a game
Don’t give in, don’t lend a hand
Let them live in their shame
Let them live in their shame
Well, there is a House on Hollis Street
Where greed lays deep in the genes
Where you can take, and take, and take,
and take
It’s the same ol’ MLA routine
It’s the same ol’ MLA routine
And if one should ever come to you
Asking for your vote
You can either kick the thing in the arse
Or grab it by the throat
Either kick the thing in the arse
Or grab it by the throat...
— A. Frank Grunt
& The Frankland Animals
Atlantic Canada Frank is a magazine of news,
satire, opinion, comment and humour published
every two weeks by Coltsfoot Publishing Co. Ltd.
Copyright Coltsfoot Publishing Ltd. Mailing address:
Frank Magazine, P.O. Box 295, Halifax,
B3J 2N7. Subscriptions: see back page. Publications
Mail Agreement No. 40050490; P.A.P. No.
8158. Phone: 420-1668. Fax: 423-0281. E-mail:
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca. Toll-free Tips Hotline:
1-888-335-5505. Frank acknowledges the financial
support of the Government of Canada
through the Publications Assistance Program
(PAP) towards our mailing costs. Letters, see
Pages 30, 31.
ALISON’S CARBON FOOTPRINT
BY E. MISSIONS
THOUGH PROVINCIAL TAXPAYERS ARE NO
LONGER PICKING UP SENIOR MANDARIAN
ALISON SCOTT’S TRAVEL TAB, WE ARE NOW
PAYING HER FEDERAL SOJOURNS, WHICH I
FEAR LOOKS WORSE.
A chronic regular on my N.S. silly servant
expense hog lists (Frank 570, 524), Alison
was our deputy minister of Energy before she
accepted a secondment to the feds last August.
In only 2.5 months, from September 8
to November 20, our gal managed to rack up
an impressive $32,245 in travel costs.
Now special adviser to Environment Canada’s
deputy minister for provincial climate
change negotiations (what dat? — ed.), Halifax-based
Alison must endure frequent jaunts
to Ottawa, and so far each of her six hops
Daisy-fresh florist Neville and
a rose by some other name.
BY LOUIE VUITTON
has cost taxpayers about $1,600 on average.
Her three costliest excursions were: a fiveday
sojourn to Canada’s hot air capitals,
Calgary and Toronto ($5,997); a three-day
whirlwind climate change gabfest in
Fredericton, Charlottetown and St. John’s
($5,474); and three days of chewing the fat
in Edmonton and Regina ($5,317).
While Alison is covering more ground than
El Nino, N.S. Energy Dept. spokesthingy
Matt Lumley tells me she is technically considered
still on secondment with the rudderless
Darrell Dexter government.
Long-time Tory-blue backroom corporate
strategist Murray Coolican was recently
tapped to fill Alison’s shoes as N.S. Energy
deputy minnie.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
A HALI-FABULOUS ARRIVAL
MY MOTHER MAY HAVE TAUGHT ME, AT V. EARLY AGE, I SHOULD NEVER JUDGE A BOOK
BY ITS COVER, BUT I CAN’T RECALL HER EVER ADVISING ME TO AVOID FORMING OPINIONS
ABOUT PEOPLE BASED ON THEIR TASTE IN LUGGAGE.
So when a zebra-print suitcase with hot pink piping passed by me on the Air Canada baggage
carousel at Toronto’s Pearson Airport two weeks ago, I couldn’t help but wonder which
Upper Canadian “cougar” would rush over any minute to claim it.
Well, imagine my surprise when the owner of said flamboyant roll-on turned out NOT to be
some middle-aged, tree trunk-faced Ontario femme fatale, but rather Halifamous petal-pusher
Neville “My Mother’s Bloomers” MacKay, in town for this year’s Canada Blooms flower
show.
APRIL 13, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 3

OH, THE HUMANITY! THE GROVES
BY A. FRANK GRUNT
THIS FRANKLAND TIDBIT WAS PREVI-
OUSLY TOUCHED UPON BY JOURNALIST
PARKER DONHAM ON HIS POPULAR
CONTRARIAN WEBSITE.
But it’s so classic Saint Mary’s University,
is bears repeating up front somewhere in the
pages of this fine bi-weekly family magazine.
And I’m sure Donham would not take insurmountable
offence, even with an ever so small
dose of Frank tweaking, here and there. No
great mischief intended.
Donham reported that on the evening of
Friday, March 12, while smack-dab in the
middle of an original public reading at this
sandbox of post-secondary education sometimes
referred as a university, Alister
MacLeod, the noted author, was rudely interrupted.
And what gang of thugs? What circle of
careless barbarians would make so bold a
move as to disturb one of Canada’s most celebrated
authors in the middle of an original
and one-time only reading? And at such an
august institution? WTF?
Why none other than a trio of boorish, illiterate
Halifax firemen who would, get this,
rather be in the business of saving lives and
preventing a sudden mass cremation, than
reading books. That’s who.
I mean, go figure, right?
Yepper. So, there was 73-year-old flushfaced
Alister MacLeod working up a good ol’
flush-faced head of steam reciting his 1976
short story The Closing Down of Summer
when all hell breaks loose.
Yepper. I guess nobody at Saint Mary’s, er,
um, University, ever thought such a consecrated
author as Alister MacLeod could ever
draw an overflow crowd. This, after all, is only
a post secondary education institute, ain’t it?
Dr. Colin Dodds and his staff, particularly
their handsomely paid veep external Margaret
“Will Say Things For Money” Murphy, were
in no way, shape or form prepared to tackle a
reading by Alister MacLeod. They had zero
idea of the demand for this freebie.
Margaret Murphy, I never tire of pointing out,
was formerly handsomely paid to say things
for Nova Scotia Power Inc. There, she said
a lot of silly things, really, if you ask me. But
best to let sleeping dogs sleep it off, I always
say.
Imagine, though, the sheer fright and total
embarrassment of one of Canada’s most
eminent men of letters, when he’s shot down
in mid-sentence by Margaret “Will Say Things
For Money” Murphy, the local fire warden, and
a couple of little less than Mensa hulking firemen.
And no bloody wonder the local authorities
were upset.
4 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK APRIL 13, 2010
Alister MacLeod
The SMU crowd had so many extra bodies
packed into the McNally Theatre Auditorium
the place looked like L.A.’s Staples Center
in July. The only thing missing was the bronze
casket containing the friggin’ remains of
Michael Jackson.
Don’t know, at this point, if SMU Prez Dr.
Colin Dodds did the one glove thingy or not?
People were everywhere — in the aisles,
blocking the aisles, blocking the lectern, in the
stairway, blocking the stairway, scared to go
for a piss save they lose their placement.
Find the footage folks take a good, long,
hard look at it.
For older, more refined tastes, even if the
big event did not, for you, resemble the
Michael Jackson L.A. Staples Ctr. Memorial,
it sure brought back not-so-fond memories of
life in a London bomb shelter during the German
Blitz of 1940-41.
To the point, I’m told, somebody was heard
to scream “you can’t cram 600 people into a
250 people space.”
Those figures seem a bit exaggerated to me.
But turfed Herald business reporter turned
SMU mouthpuppet, Mr. Steve Proctor (the
wooden-headed dummy which sits proudly
atop Margaret Murphy’s lap) said he’d check
into those figures and get back to me posthaste.
I haven’t yet heard back from the enterprising
Mr. Proctor. Oh, well. Sucks to be me.
On the plus side, though, Mr. Proctor, can
even talk while Ms. Murphy sips a glass of
water. How cool is that?
In any event, complete with a telling photograph,
the Contrarian cutline read:
“The Halifax Fire Marshall temporarily halted
a reading by Alister MacLeod so the overflow
crowd of more that 600 could be arranged to
clear clogged aisles. Officials turned away
OF ACADEME
another 100 people as the 73-year-old
MacLeod, who splits his time between Windsor,
Ontario, and Dunvegan, Cape Breton,
read his 1976 story, The Closing Down of Summer.”
The evening began on an equally embarrassing
note when President Dolt, er, um,
Dodds asked MacLeod about the origin of the
title for his 1999 award-winner No Great Mischief.
Obviously, Mr, President was less than acquainted
with that piece of work.
For, verily, it sez early on, probably even on
the dust jacket that “no great mischief” was
English General James Wolfe’s only
thoughts on a dead Highlander or two in the
Great Cause of English Colonialism.
An uncomfortable murmur went through the
overflow crowd as MacLeod contemplated Dr.
Dolt’s, er, um, Dr. Dodds’s penetrating question.
The audience was also forced to, as one
disheartened member put it me, “endure the
sovereign discomfiture of SMU Atlantic
Canada Studies guru Dr. Ken MacKinnon,
whose eloquence is matched only by the most
prolonged case of the death rattles.”
(Great sentence, wish I had said that.)
Whatever.
The most important thing to consider, here,
and to remember, as long as we are graced
with memory, is that were it not for the quick
thinking of SMU veep external Margaret “Will
Say Things For Money” Murphy, and the fact
that 73-year-old MacLeod does not travel with
a pyrotechnic kit, we could have had another
tragic Rhode Island nightclub fire on our
hands.
Oh, by the way, Mr, Proctor described the
big SMU literary event to me with this popular
mouthpuppet phrase: a success.
Sure. No question. Right up there with the
Hindenburg, the Edsel and the 8-Track.
As far as anybody at the Halifax Fire Department
knows, Prez Dodds and his school
were not issued a ticket for this flagrant infraction,
but merely given a stern warning.
One would hope. They won’t get off so easily
next time. I assure you.
And when it comes time again for Saint
Mary’s, er, um, University, to go begging to
the aging Mr. MacLeod for money — I think
they should send a Halifax fire truck to pick
up the cheque.
And just for the hell of it, let’s have Margaret
“Will Say Things For Money” Murphy drive the
damn thing.
Cheque, please...
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca

WHY PASTOR
ELAINE
HAS LEFT THE
IWK BUILDING
BY A. FRANK GRUNT
PASTOR ELAINE WALCOTT IS A BLACK AND A PREACHER. SHE’S
BEEN BLACK ALL HER LIFE. SHE HAS BEEN AN ORDAINED MINISTER
FOR ALMOST 10 YEARS. GOING BACK TO SCHOOL AFTER RAISING
HER TWO BOYS.
Raised Baptist in Lincolnville, Guysborough Co., the oldest of 10
children, she is a proud graduate, as they say, of the Atlantic School
of Theology, and is a firm believer in ecumenical unity. She is also an
ardent support of gay rights, and is routinely recognized by the local
gay community for her efforts.
Equally important is that she was let go as part of the IWK Spiritual
Health Team on March 31, the end of their fiscal year.
It is Rev. Elaine’s, (by the way, my own spiritual adviser and Vice
Regal Garden Party date) understanding that “spiritual care at the
IWK” is currently running a deficit of $25,000 a year.
I don’t know how you put a figure on “spiritual care” when you are
dealing with sick and dying children, and their parents, brothers and sisters,
but if I ever get to the other place (fat chance! — ed.) I will be sure
to ask the Big Fellah just what to look for in that empirical question.
Rev. Elaine was employed as a chaplain with the IWK Spiritual Health
Team on a casual basis from November 16, 2007 through March 22,
2010.
In recent months, she worked primarily on the intensive care unit.
Elaine’s departure culls the SCT to two full-time members: Glenn
Breen, the co-ordinating chaplin, and Colleen Quinn, who is paid by
the local Roman Catholic Diocese.
Glenn Breen described Elaine as an “honest and caring person,”
and in his letter of reference wrote:
“Elaine possesses excellent crisis management skills. Much of her
IWK ministry involved journeying with patients and families during times
of life threatening crisis and end-of-life situations. She is a capable
and effective mediator in situations where difficult family and interpersonal
dynamics are present.
“Elaine brought a willing flexibility to her ministry within the IWK. She
was eager for more hours and employment within the Spiritual Health
Team. She always accepted shifts offered to her on short notice.”
There is tremendous irony in this departure, given only last year the
IWK formed a diversity and inclusion committee, and now due to “ongoing
challenges related to the Spiritual Health budget for 2010-11”
the black on-call Chaplain finds herself on the outside looking in.
Even Rev. Elaine’s efforts to volunteer her time were rebuffed.
She tells me she is “disappointed, not bitter” by the IWK’s decision
to let her go.
“Spiritual care is a passion for me, it will never be about money.
What I don’t understand is why the hospital went through all the hoopla
to introduce me as a member of the neonatal intensive care team last
fall as part of their diversity & inclusion push, and six months later it’s
all over.
“But I don’t see this as an issue of race. I won’t cheapen it by making
Pastor Elaine
Walcott
it a race issue. But one would hope if you are going to initiate a diversity
& inclusion campaign you are going to have the foresight to see
that anything or anybody pertinent to that campaign operates longer
than six months,” Rev. Elaine told me.
She will continue to run her bi-weekly multi-faith Koinonia Church
services every second Sunday in the free downtown space provided
by Jim Petrie, the owner/operator of Halifax Feast Dinner Theatre
in the Maritime Mall.
Petrie is a deacon at the church, as is Sue Ellen Hansen, Wanda
Hunt, and Rev. Elaine’s husband and high school sweetheart Joe
Walcott.
They, along with the talented and fragrant Beth Beare, a veteran
psychiatric nurse, continue to shepherd the needs of many in Halifax’s
marginalized community.
Rev. Elaine and husband Joe are high school sweethearts from Glace
Bay’s former Morrison High. They graduated 100 years ago from
that pile, along with Jim Petrie, and the equally compassionate and
brainy Diane (nee Gillis) O’Reilly, a top czarina in the IWK’s Women’s
& Newborn Health Unit, a fervent supporter of diversity and a
Facebook friend of Rev. Elaine’s.
The IWK Health Care Foundation prez is Robbie Shaw, Alexa
McDonough’s brother. I don’t know if he is one of Rev. Elaine’s
Facebook or not.
The IWK Health Care Centre employs about 3,000 people.
Here Endeth The Lesson....
Oh, this just in: Keeping with the reg PR BS, I have just rec’d an
email from the IWK Health Centre public relations department (whatever
that is supposed to mean) telling me ... yawn ... “Due to employee
confidentiality, we can’t speak about details of any IWK employees.”
However, the rather emaciated looking email did share the heavenly
news:
“We can tell you that the IWK has submitted a balanced business
plan to the Department of Health.”
All glory be to God, I say!
Does Frank Know? atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
APRIL 13, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 5

MARGERY DYKEMAN’S HARVEST
BY DAISY BUTTERCUPS
BRIDGEWATER’S FAMED GREEN THUMB,
MARGERY DYKEMAN, HAS PLANTED THE
SEEDS OF LONG-TERM FINANCIAL SUCCESS
FOR HER THREE SONS AND FOUR STEP-
CHILDREN, NEATLY DIVIDING HER $2.2 MIL-
LION ESTATE AMONG THEM.
The Hennigar family’s indefatigable “Down
To Earth” gardening columnist, Margery appointed
sons Greg Snyder and Terry Synder
her executors, on the strict condition their
executors’ commissions not exceed $10,000
apiece.
Prior to her February 18 death at 86,
Margery directed Conquerall Mills, Queens
Co. rezzie Greg and Mosher Motors salesman
Terry to sell her Bridgewater properties,
187 Empire St. and the 102 Glenridge Ave.
rental units, and divide the proceeds equally
among Greg, Terry and her third son Geoff
Snyder of Bridgewater, to whom Margery bequeathed
her Fancy Lake cottage.
Margery and her second husband, former
prez of Dartmouth biz Lectro Sales, Lloyd
Dykeman, bought both Bridgewater properties
in the mid-to-late 1970s from Clarence
Nauss, son of famed local building mogul,
Bennett “BJ” Nauss.
The Dykeman’s Empire Street home is wellknown
to South Shore plant lovers. Margery’s
botanical gardens were an inspired spectacle
of colour and design, bursting with brown-eyed
Susans, sedums, peonies, daisies, and a
pleasing array of dozens more flowers and
shrubs.
The industrious Margery contributed over
1,200 columns since her Down To Earth space
first appeared in the Progress Enterprise and
Bridgewater Bulletin in 1987. As she always
supplied several in advance, all written on her
manual typewriter, Lynn Hennigar had
enough columns to run for several weeks after
Margery’s death.
6 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK APRIL 13, 2010
An offshoot of the famous Hebb family of
Hebbville, Margery was raised on Indian
Garden Farm, a fifth-generation family farm
known for its cranberries and Beluah Bloomers
Greenhouse, which is now run by Glen
Hebb, son of Margery’s brother, Gerald Hebb.
Their father Clarence Hebb is widely credited
with introducing scientific growing methods
and expanding the farming biz.
A graduate of business college and the Kree
Institute of Electrolysis in New York state,
Margery was 19 in 1943 when she married
Robert Snyder, who owned a heating and
plumbing biz and served as Bridgewater’s
deputy fire chief.
After Robert’s death in September 1971,
Margery married Bedford businessman
Lloyd, a Second World War Canadian army
vet. Lloyd was 84 when he died on August
Margery Dykeman at her trusty typewriter.
11, 2003.
Lloyd had four kids from a previous marriage:
Cheryl Dykeman, Patricia Ann Schneider,
Karen Dykeman and Derek
Dykeman, all of whom now live out of province.
In her three-page will, dated August 2008,
Margery requested that her investments be
split into seven equal parts for her kids and
Lloyd’s kids, with the amounts reduced to
Cheryl ($30,000) and Derek ($10,000), to reflect
loans they received from her and Lloyd,
and also to Karen ($50,000), for a previous
loan from Margery.
Pending final inventory, Margery wanted the
rest of her estate divided into seven equal
shares for her children and step-children, and
she directed her sons to divide her household
items equally among them.
DARA’S HOUSE ON MARKET
I SEE WHERE THE FAMILY OF THE LATE MCINNES COOPER
LAWYER DARA GORDON HAS PUT ITS 67-ACRE GASPEREAU
VALLEY PROPERTY ON THE MARKET FOR $1.2 MILLION.
Tradewinds Realty duo Tim Harris and Barbie Nunn-Porter
are listing the 19-year old Georgian style home, located outside
Wolfville and previously owned by Dara and her hubby, outgoing
Estrucan Resources ceo Gerry McConnell.
Former N.S. Gambling & Booze czarina Dara died last December
27, at the shocking age of 57, leaving most of her $2.45million
estate to Gerry and their two daughters, Ashley and Devon
(Frank 580).

INDIAN NEWS FOR INDIAN VOTERS
BY CHIEF HANGING CHAD
AN INDIAN AND NORTHERN AFFAIRS
CANADA (INAC) OFFICIAL HAS CONFIRMED
SUSPICIONS OF VOTING FRAUD IN THE JUNE
12, 2009 SHUBENACADIE BAND
ELECTIONS.
According to a March 8 letter from INAC
bylaw adviser Jacques Boutin, “evidence and
information compiled in (the consultant’s) report
suggest that violations of the Indian Band
Election Regulations may have taken place.”
Former Queen’s Cowboy Bob Norton,
prez of the Winnipeg-based Norton Security
Consulting, was hired by INAC in January
to investigate vote-tampering allegations
on the electorally-challenged Indian Brook
reserve. On February 8, Bob signed off on
his report, which Jacques forwarded, along
with the cover letter quoted above, to interested
parties.
INAC has said it is not commenting on the
report, nor releasing it to the public. Frank
Magazine has obtained a copy, and we are
DEXTER’S
MEGA N.B. DEAL
BY LOTTA TAR
SHAWN GRAHAM’S 11TH HOUR, PANIC-INDUCED PULL-OUT FROM
THE NB POWER-HYDRO QUEBEC CONSUMMATION IS
OVERSHADOWING NEWS OF A $275 MILLION-PLUS NEW
BRUNSWICK GOVERNMENT CONTRACT, WHICH I’M HEARING COULD
COST TAXPAYERS CLOSER TO $1 BILLION.
On March 8 — two weeks before he killed the power deal (Frank
572) — Preem Graham announced his Liberal government chose Nova
Scotia road king Dexter Construction to pave over a wide swath of
the Picture Province.
After a tender call went out last summer, Dexter was shortlisted with
two other national consortiums for the grandly-named Route 1 Gateway
Project, a federal-provincial cost-sharing scheme with a P3 twist:
Dexter gets to maintain and operate 235 kilometres of a four-lane highway
for the next 30 years.
N.B. Transportation Dept. spokesthingy Andrew Holland tells me
discussions are ongoing, and can attach no dollar amount to the project.
He expects a funding announcement in April, and construction to begin
shortly thereafter.
The massive project, which Andrew notes will be completed before
August 2013, calls for 55 kilometres of new highway to twin the route
between Saint John and St. Stephen; two new lanes between SJ and
its uppity bedroom community Rothesay, making New Brunswick’s first
six-lane highway; interchanges galore; and 104 kilometres of decora-
pleased to summarize its findings.
Bob investigated four specific allegations,
(1) at least two candidates bought votes; (2)
mishandling and/or tampering of ballot boxes;
(3) at least two mail-in ballots were falsified;
(4) Electoral Officer Karen Miller rejected a
disproportionately high number of mail-in ballots.
Bob was unable to verify the vote-buying
allegations, saying that an alleged cash recipient
denied being bribed for his vote, while
another refused to talk about it. No one else
agreed to co-operate.
Bob’s scrutiny of the ballot box concluded,
“they had not been sealed in accordance with
(regulations). (But) there is no evidence of
tampering with the ballots.”
As for the alleged discrepancies with mailin
ballots, Bob hit a bonanza.
“There is no explanation for the significant
difference between the reported number of
votes cast and the number of voter names
crossed off on the voters list,” he wrote.
He concluded, “No one could explain why
approximately 450 more names were crossed
off than actually voted. This puts into question
any record of who voted in the election.”
Jerry Sack, who was “most co-operative”
with Bob’s investigation, was elected chief winning
389 more votes than Michael Paul, who
lodged the original complaint with INAC.
The elected councillors are: Ronnie Augustine;
Rufus Copage; Thomas Howe; Ryan
Julian; Colleen Knockwood; Ian
Knockwood; Reg Maloney; Alex McDonald;
Jim Nevin; Michael Sack; and Deborah
Thiebaux (Julian). Their two-year terms expire
June 12, 2011.
INAC has given band members until April 9
to respond to Bob’s report. Stay tuned.
Indian Brook’s population is around 2,300;
about half live off the reserve. According to
INAC figures, almost 40% have an education
that is less than a high school grad’s, and the
unemployment rate typically runs about 30%.
There is a long history of band election voting
fraud.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
tive fence-work, to keep deer from turning into roadkill.
Bedford-based Dexter Construction will operate and maintain the
Southern NB highway network until June 2040.
While both the Irving-owned Telegraph Journal and the news release
from the N.B. government (Isn’t that Irving-owned, as well? —
ed.) do not estimate the millions of public dollars at stake, a July 2009
article in the London, U.K.-based trade paper Project Finance International,
expects the N.B. roadwork to have capital costs of $275 million,
with the feds kicking in a maximum of $137.5 million. (Isn’t it
great how we have to go to England for information from New Brunswick?
— ed.)
The same PFI article says Dexter Construction’s partnership team
consists of its parent firm, the Carl Potter-owned Municipal Enterprises;
principal consultant MMM Group, of Anne Murray’s hometown
Thornhill, Ont.; Victoria, B.C.-based Thurber Engineering;
Albuquerque’s Applied Research Associates; and N.B.-based
Boissonnault McGraw et Associes of Campbellton and Roy Consultants
Group of Bathurst. The group is bankrolled with National
Bank financing.
Does Frank Know? atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
APRIL 13, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 7

STARR SNATCHES THE SHOW!
BY V. JAY JAYE
TO LOOK AT HER, YOU MIGHT THINK LIVE
AT 5 HOSTESS STARR DOBSON WOULDN’T
SAY SHIT IF SHE HAD A MOUTHFUL.
So you may be surprised to learn that just
last week, the fair-haired pride of Alma,
Pictou County actually uttered the word
“snatch” in public.
Don’t believe me? Ask around. Lots of people
— close to 400 in fact — heard her say it.
That’s roughly how many folks attended two
sold-out charity-raising* performances of Eve
Ensler’s world-famous Vagina Monologues
at Halifax’s Neptune Theatre, during which
a darkly dressed Starr contorted herself in
front of an imaginary full-length mirror in order
to get a good look at her hoo-ha.
“I can see why she was nervous,” one vagina-possessing
ticket-holder remarked after
the show, an observation with which my female
source concurs.
“I can’t imagine many women, many public
figures, would be ready to put themselves out
there like that, striking a variety of ridiculous
yet ultimately intimate poses.”
And while many felt Starr, who on TV regularly
tends to appear wooden and disinterested,
ably held her own on stage, it was
former CBCer Heidi Petracek that left theatre-goers
elated with her part, “The Woman
Who Loved to Make Vaginas Happy.”
Part of her schtick, I understand, included a
v. funny list of moans women tend to employ.
Like the Irish Catholic moan (Oh, God. Oh,
forgive me. Oh, God!), the yodel-esque mountain-top
moan, the college moan (Oh, no. I
should be studying. Oh. Oh, I’m not studying!)
and the unforgettable triple surprise orgasm
moan. (What? No Black Snake Moan?
— ed.)
MEDIA LOVEFEST LANDS ANOTHER FREEBIE
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, TORONTO-BORN CNN
AMERICAN MORNING TALKING HEAD JOHN
ROBERTS WON’T BE POCKETING A FEE TO DE-
LIVER THE KEYNOTE ADDRESS AT THE UPCOMING
ATLANTIC JOURNALISM AWARDS BANQUET.
AJA honcho Bill Skerrett says they have a
strict policy of not paying for speakers, a policy
which hasn’t deterred the non-profit from attracting
such giants of Canadian reportage as
Lloyd Robertson and Linden MacIntyre, not
to mention gelatinous blobs like Mike Duffy.
“Is it our good reputation? Is there vanity
involved? I don’t know,” Bill admits.
He also says it didn’t require much prodding
to convince the former Muchmusic VJ to pay
a visit; less than a week went by between Bill’s
8 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK APRIL 13, 2010
“How do you follow up something like that?”
offered one audience member.
Provincial MLAs Lenore Zann and Diana
Whalen also participated in the production,
though I was a bit disappointed to hear that
instead of using her stage presence to lobby
for a vagina-friendly February holiday, Halifax-Clayton
Park rep Diana, chose instead
to stick to statistics.
Other performers included: Ann Graves;
Transition House Association of Nova
Scotia co-ordinator Pam Harrison; working
mom Shirley Jollimore; Dalhousie voice
grad Candice Campbell; Leigha Chiasson;
Cynthia DeBois; MSVU Women’s Studies
gal Rita Shelton Deverell; Elizabeth Fry
Society toiler Nicole Farmer and her Citadel
High daughter Cymone; Monetta
James; Sharleen Kalayil; Norma Kennedy
of the N.S. Advisory Commission on AIDS;
Rena Kulczycki; Holly Lewer, IT consultant
Dena McDonell; Robyn McNeil; Newf
transplant Kelly Melanson; Melanie Moore;
Nancy Pike; Susan Ploetner; Adrienne
Power, MSVU prof Dr. Meredith Ralston;
Jo-anne Sheehan; Kelly Shephard; Tova
Sherman; The Three Helens (Joanne
Bond, Kathryn Burke and Pam Mason),
Sandra Witherbee; Kate Wilkinson; and
Live at 5 alum Nancy Regan, whose task it
was to discuss the ugliness of her character’s
vagina.
“I pitied anyone who had to go down there,”
was one of her more memorable lines, along
a reference to her “mink-lined muffler.” The
things they’ll put on luxury cars now a days.
*Proceeds from ticket sales went to benefit
Alice Housing, the Barry House Shelter on
Gottingen Street, the Elizabeth Fry Society
and Paula’s Project.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
first contact with CNN in New York and John’s
acceptance of the invitation, which includes
roundtrip airfare, hotel and incidentals.
I can’t say whether John’s girlfriend, Atlantabased
CNN afternoon host Kyra Phillips, will
be making the trek with him. The raven-haired
stunner is perhaps best known to casual media
watchers as the chick who left her wireless
mic on during a trip to the bathroom back
in 2006, causing complaints about her sisterin-law
to be broadcast over top of a speech
George W. Bush was giving from New Orleans.
She also praised her husband at the time
as a “really passionate, compassionate, great,
great human being”. Guess John’s got some
pretty big shoes to fill.
Tickets to the big show, scheduled for May
Starr Dobson
John Roberts Kyra Phillips
8 at the Marriott Harbourfront, are $135
apiece, or, if you prefer, 10 for $1,350.
MORE AJA NEWS, PAGE 18

BY SAM ANTICS
LIKE A GOOD MANY OF US, SHAMELESS
SELF-PROMOTER BARB STEGEMANN
NEEDS TO GET OFF THE INTERNET BEFORE
IT MAKES HER STUPID. SPECIFICALLY, BARB
NEEDS TO STOP CONSULTING WIKIPEDIA
AND BRUSH UP ON HER GANDHI
SCHOLARSHIP.
Authoress of the self-help tome The 7 Virtues
of a Philosopher Queen, Barb has lately
tossed around Gandhi’s name as she peddles
her new bottled odour, The 7 Virtues Afghanistan
Orange Blossom eau de parfum, and a
March 2 Metro national article explains she
was “delighted to discover that “Gandhi”
means “seller of perfume.” Mohandas
Ghandi is one of her personal heroes.”
It seems a linguistically sensitive Barb has
taken umbrage with my Frank 581 breaking
newsflash on the origins of Gandhi: not “perfume
seller,” but “grocer,” a fact I’m sure Barb
will realize once she opens her first 7 Eleven
store.
Here is Barb’s March 22 tweet on Twitter:
“Gandhi, surname means “seller of perfume”
— wikipedia. Mills sold out — but not to worry,
we have restocked The 7 Virtues Afghanistan
Orange Blossom Eau de Parfum.”
In full-on slapdown mode, Barb even supplies
a link to the online encyclopedia, which
reads: “Gandhi is an Indian family name,
Barb Stegemann
meaning a seller of perfumes.” The citation is
an untranslated Hindi passage, purportedly
from the 15thC Indian mystic Kabir, considered
one of India’s greatest poets.
Incidentally, when you type in “Wikipedia:
Credibility” in Wikipedia, it says, “Credibility
is one of Wikipedia’s goals which it has strug-
Buy Barb’s
perfume!
BARB & HER FAVOURITE GROCER
gled to attain, although in its first four years,
it has only had partial success.[citation
needed].” Everybody got that?
Barb’s tweet, juxtaposing her sold-out perfume
at Mills Brothers with a man whose idea
of a simple life resulted in his entire earthly
possessions at death fitting inside two shoe
boxes, is just too funny for words.
Not since the public relations disaster of
Steve Jobs using Gandhi billboards to sell
his Apple computers have I seen such bunk.
But I smell more Eau de BS here.
If Gandhi really is one of Barb’s personal
heroes, she would know that most Gandhi
scholars agree the Mahatma’s family name
more closely signifies a victualler, than one
who hawks scented products to mask BO.
In his annotated notes in the book Essential
Gandhi, editor Louis Fischer, who wrote
the then-definitive biography that inspired Richard
Attenborough’s Oscar-winning 1982
film, states: “Gandhi means grocer.”
And the first line of Gandhi’s 1927 Autobiography?
“The Gandhis belong to the Bania
caste and seem to have been originally grocers.”
OK, who are we going to believe here? One
of the world’s great Gandhi scholars, even if
Fischer was a Commie, or Barb’s link to a
Wiki page? Think about that for a second.
But wait, it gets funnier. Ready for this?
CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE
APRIL 13, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 9

Oh, Stedman! Don’t
deny it was you! I saw
you eat that chili!
BARB, FROM PREVIOUS PAGE
Barb’s tweet has ignited a cry to arms from
her rabid fan base, who began sending a five
word tweet — “Gandhi means “seller of perfume”
not only to friends, but also to executive
producers of the Oprah Winfrey Show,
in their holy crusade to have Oprah dose her
fatty self with Barb’s perfume, whose essential
oils Barb buys directly from Afghani
women.
On March 22, Barb cult member Peggy
Chisholm sent the bare-bones tweet to Lisa
Erspamer, chief creative officer, Oprah
Winfrey Network; Harpo producer Ellen
Rakieten; Oprah’s executive producer Sheri
Salata; and the official Oprah Show Twitter
page. Imagine, checking your Crackberry,
and seeing the Tweet: “Gandhi means seller
of perfume.” You’d likely either go, Huh? or
WTF?
There is also a Facebook page, “Oprah
must try the 7 Virtues Afghanistan eau de
parfum,” which as of 10:32 a.m., March 26,
had 116 members. Barb and Peggy are two
of the page’s administrators.
Facebookers who have joined Barb’s Chase
For Oprah glory include: such rank Tories as
Jordi Morgan, Jim David, Scott Armstrong,
the Facebook omnipotent Tyler Cameron,
HRM councillor Debbie Hum, John
McDonnell (Barb’s fiancee), federal Liberal
hopeful Stan “Brainworks” Kutcher, twominute
Daily Snooze editor Jack Romanelli,
erstwhile Chronically Horrid social columnist
Greg Guy, Anne Calder, the lawyer in a
spot of bother with the law (Frank 564), freelance
scribe Stephen Patrick Claire, and the
lovely Lisa Merrithew, one of Peter
MacKay’s many exes.
There you go. The power of the Internet at
work.
BTW, I know you’re dying to know (Not really!
— ed.), so I’ll tell you. Stegemann is of
German origin, from the old German saying
“Steg,” meaning footpath or footbridge. Barb
was born a Robbins, which has Scottish origins
and likely derives from the name Robin,
itself a variation of Robert.
Cheque, please!
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
10 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK APRIL 13, 2010
SARAH & DAN SUCK UP
TO THE PEONS
BY A. FRANK GRUNT
SO, TELL ME WHAT YOU REALLY THINK?
THAT APPEARS TO BE THE QUESTION AT
NOVA SCOTIA’S PAPER OR RECORD,
WHICH I BELIEVE IS CALLED THE CHRONI-
CLE-CANADIAN PRESS OR SOMETHING OF
THAT NATURE. I THINK.
One year after the Great Purge, or the repression
of the working peasants (some who
actually did do some work), which was accomplished
with Stalinist speed and Toyota acceleration,
the time has come for the usual
performance appraisals.
In a Tuesday, March 23, email to “Hello
colleagues,” the publisher’s daughter, Sarah
Dennis, shiny, new president & CEO of the
Chronicle-Herald, (Yeah, that’s the name of
the thing) wrote to “...thank everyone who
participated in the performance appraisal
process over the past few months.
“I am happy,” Sarah glowed, “to let you know
that over 95 per cent of the appraisals are
complete - the highest number ever! Lets aim
for 100 per cent next year!
Sarah added:
“The next step in this process is supervisor
reviews and it started with me. I was the first
to be reviewed and it has given me some good
feedback to move forward and work on. So I
encourage all of you to continue to participate
in the process as it comes time for you to review
your supervisor.”
I imagine the paperwork took less time to
process this year, than in previous years. Although,
I have yet to receive my performance
appraisal form to fill out. Darn, that surface to
surface mail.
I also feel it is incumbent upon me, as Ruling
Czar of the Frankland Fair & Balanced
Department to dispel rumours that CH working
schmucks were asked to fill out their supervisor
appraisals on the back of a $100 bill
and send those $100 bills off to a certain address
on Halifax’s opulent Bloomingdale Terrace.
In keeping with the hot topic of absorbing
emails:
CH managing editor Dan Leger, prior to
Sarah’s email, sent out this gem to all hands
on March 5. I reproduce it in its entirety:
Hi folks:
Just a quick note to say thank you to so
many people who have been making the paper
and our website look great.
Thank you for giving readers a very strong
MEDIA
MADNESS
series of Olympic papers, capped by the
magnificent front page with Crosby on Monday.
Then you gave them stories, to name just
a few among many, on the Hants Country
cross burners, the squabble over policing in
HRM and the fate of Sid the Kid’s gold-medal
pants. You gave them a live blog of the firstever
public meeting of the Internal Economy
Board.
And readers enjoyed their news on pages
that were consistently well-designed and wellpresented.
In fact, the paper has never looked
better, and today’s edition is a perfect example.
A great front page that was both visually
arresting and packed with useful information.
Inside we found lovely section fronts with a
lovely photograph anchoring Sports.
There’s much more, of course. But it just
feels to me like we are producing very strong
material and presenting it as well as any newspaper
in the country.
So thank you.
Dan Leger
* As you probably already know, I ain’t no
expert on the English language, but Leger’s
email, smelling like a can of Febreze, is the
full embodiment of self-congratulations.
He wisely forwarded this can of Febreze to
his boss, the said Ms. Sarah Dennis.
Certainly, again as the Ruling Czar of the
Frankland Fair & Balanced Department, I congratulate
Dan and Sarah on the live blogging
of the Internal Economy Board.
As for the HRM policing story, Phonse
Jessome of CBC-TV broke that one.
Moreover, the Canadian Press covered the
Olympics for the Herald, just as CP reporters
Keith Doucette and Alison Auld continue to
cover the N.S. MLA Looting Scandal for
Nova Scotia’s Paper of Record.

MYRA’S MOMENTARY LAPSE IN PROTOCOL
BY A. FRANK GRUNT
A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO I FOUND
MYSELF AT ONE OF THE GREATEST, ABSO-
FANTASTIC GROCERY STORES IN THE ENTIRE
PROVINCE OF NOVA SCOTIA. THE STAFF
ARE ALWAYS FRIENDLY. EVERYTHING IS AS
ADVERTISED, ROUTINELY IN STOCK, AND
YOU CAN GENERALLY FIND WHAT YOU WANT
WITHOUT ANY FUSS OR BOTHER.
Not sure why I was there?
Oh, yeah, that’s it. There’s a liquor store
close by, and I had to go into the grocery store
to get some mix. That’s what that was all
about. I don’t think the notion of food was actually
ever involved.
In any event, who should I find myself strolling
some distance behind but Nova Scotia’s
former Lieutenant Governor Myra Freeman,
who is married to a bald man who wears a
remarkable, almost no-can-tell wig.
Anyway, the lovely Myra was dressed up like
a stick of gum. In a charming fire engine red
skirt, cut just above the knee, and a matching,
looked to be wool, fire engine red threebutton
jacket Myra Freeman was definitely the
fashion queen of the frozen food section.
And no white gloves. After all, who wants
the indelicate stench of stinky fish all over your
delicate white gloves?
She was looking quite tanned, like she’s
seen her share of sunny days in recent
months. Possibly, Myra had recently returned
from Yarmouth, or some place south like that?
The former grade school teacher, surprisingly,
was hatless, but wore fashionable
eyewear. You know, the kind where the arms
of the glasses are the size of two-by-fours.
I think she was wearing befitting hosiery. I
never thought, however, to check out her footwear.
Everything happened so fast.
Unfortunately, I never really caught up with
New Brunswick-born Myra until we were in
the ketchup section, where she, understandably,
was trying to decide on whether or not
to go with the irresistible essence of Heinz or
the much cheaper in-house no-name brand.
It doesn’t matter.
All I can say is that for a woman who turns
61 on May 17, Myra Freeman, regardless if
her husband wears a wig, still cuts a very, very
fine ladylike figure. Let me say with unbridled
conviction that Myra Freeman is the best darn
looking vice regal freeloader this province may
ever see. Here, here!
We didn’t meet again until we entered the
speedy checkout.
It was all good up until this point. Gawd, I
wish it had never, ever happened.
I mean, I thought we were getting along fa-
Myra Freeman
mously up until this point. The future looked
bright. We had the world on a string. It was
our oyster. Nobody else’s oyster. Nothing, it
seemed, like is mentioned in that old Starship
song from the late ’80s, was going to stop us
now.
But THEN it happened.
And, as always it happened abruptly, shockingly,
without warning.
Myra having taken out her gold card to pay
for her few items, fish-sticks and ketchup,
whatever, grappled onto her two grocery bags
(plastic), then just blew out the store like she
had never been there in the first place.
She nudged her shopping cart ahead of her
goodself. It rolled very briefly, looked as if it
was going to transition into one of those circle
type shopping cart pirouettes. But then it
stopped. Out of life and out of physics, it sat
there, testimony to listlessness. Definitely a
dead parrot grocery cart.
Myra had dis-Carted. And, and ... in such a
public and uncaring fashion. And there, alone
and forsaken, it sat — Myra’s dis-Carted grocery
cart.
Just sat there. Just pushed aside like some
unwanted lover or bizarre grocery store
stalker.
There it sat.
Myra Freeman had abandoned her grocery
cart straight in the foyer of the busy store, just
like abandoning it. Like abandoning the Baby
Moses in a flimsy woven basket, into the mid-
dle of the swirling Nile.
Now, maybe, there’s some kind of vice regal
canon law for former Lieutenant-Governors
of Nova Scotia which clearly sets out the
protocol that they never have to return their
grocery carts to the designated area. I don’t
know. I’m not an expert on how parliamentary
democracies work.
Probably, there is something, somewhere,
some archaic writ which commands that
former Lieutenant-Governors don’t have to
dis-Cart like the rest of us poor bastards.
Maybe, we are all supposed to stop, backoff
three steps from the sliced baloney cooler,
and sing God Save The Queen as Myra Freeman
leaves the store. I don’t bloody know! I
mean the subject never came up in Glace Bay,
OK?
I do know, however, that I am now headed
for years and years of expensive, time consuming,
painful therapy.
Serendipity replaced by disappointment.
Again.
I mean, all these years, you think you know
a person, then, right outta the friggin’ blue
some hideous idiosyncrasy has to come up
and hit ya right between the two friggin’ eyes.
And, you’re not prepared for it, you haven’t
even had your first rye & coke yet, for
petesake!
And, like, isn’t, like ... goin’ to the liquor store
supposed to be a pleasant experience, you
know, like havin’ yer first kid or sumthun’ like
that.
I just don’t get it. I don’t know what more to
say.
I paid for my four litres of brand-X cola with
the only money I had — the loose change in
my ragged pocket.
It took about three minutes for the incredibly
patient cashier, also with funky glasses,
to get me squared away on the loose change
front. Then I triple-(plastic) bagged by brand-
X cola, since I was walking to my nearby hovel.
As I left the checkout, I reached out to touch
the trolley only minutes before caressed by
Myra’s sweet ungloved hands.
But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I couldn’t
touch Myra’s grocery cart.
Instead, I asked one of the floor staff to,
please, get the thing away from me. Remove
it from my sight. Get it out of my Halifax
viewplane. Push it to the designated area
where other shoppers were returning their own
non-vice-regal grocery carts.
Oddly, that simple act didn’t appear to fatigue
any of these rather ordinary, one would
suspect, grocery shoppers.
Even the habitual cigarette smokers.
Oh, the humanity!
APRIL 13, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 11

Hank Dunnewold
IT SEEMS DOUG MACKEEN, FORMERLY THE
HEAD SHERIFF AT THE PICTOU JUSTICE CENTRE,
IS NOT SO EASILY REPLACED.
Five months after his departure last fall, the
N.S. Justice Department has yet to find a permanent
successor.
I understand Jimmy Snow, the head sheriff in
Port Hawkesbury and Antigonish, is serving
as the interim boss in Pictou County until a
permanent replacement can be found. I hear
Justice officials thought they had found their
man in Ray Lindsay, a sheriff’s deputy in Truro,
12 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK APRIL 13, 2010
HANK D.
WAS WARDEN
& SHERIFF
I UNDERSTAND FORMER PICTOU COUNTY WARDEN
HANK DUNNEWOLD LIVED A MERE SIX WEEKS AFTER
BEING DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER, WHICH HAD IN-
VADED HIS KIDNEYS, STOMACH AND LUNGS. HE DIED
ON MARCH 17 AT THE AGE OF 61.
Despite spending 18 years around the municipal
council table, the gregarious chap never came to
my attention in any substantial way until after he
was dismissed from the Pictou County Sheriff’s
Service in 2008 for one reason or another. Something
about slapping a fellow sheriff on the behind,
if I recall correctly. At the time Hank told me he was
grieving his dismissal, but I understand he eventually
moved on to a night watchman’s job at the N.S.
Power generating station in Trenton.
Sincerest Frankland condolences.
THERE’S NOT A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN
but he apparently wasn’t interested in the gig.
Ray refused to confirm or deny the scuttlebutt
when I reached him at work the other day.
You’ll recall former sheriff Doug was the target of
a Justice Dept. investigation stemming from complaints
lodged against him by current and former
employees in 2008 (Frank 536). His final day at
work was October 16 of last year.
A message left with the Justice Dept. wasn’t returned
at Frankland Press Time.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
PAULA GALLANT
Murdered:
December 27, 2005
As of March March 27 27, 27 2010...
1
5 5 1
DAYS
WITHOUT AN ARREST
Dave MacNeil
TOP TRURO
COP MOVES
TO SPLITSVILLE
SADLY, TRURO CHIEF OF POLICE
DAVID MACNEIL AND HIS WIFE
ANGELA HAVE SET UP SEPARATE
HOUSEHOLDS.
N.S. Property Online records indicate
that Angela signed over their
Sandy Place, Valley, Colchester
County matrimonial home (2010 assessment:
$259,900) to Dave, 39ish,
on February 23. Two days later,
Angela closed the deal on a Coburg
Crescent abode ($210,000) in town,
handy to the new elementary school.
I believe the estranged couple’s
marriage produced a pair of pre-teen
children.
A graduate of J.L. Ilsley High
School in Spryfield, Dave studied
sociology and criminology at St.
Mary’s before attending the Atlantic
Police Academy in Charlottetown.
A 16-year veteran cop, he was promoted
to deputy chief in 2005 and
then onto chief after Ken MacLean’s
retirement in 2008.
A detailed message left for Dave at
work was not returned before
Frankland presstime.

WHY ‘BABY JESSICA’
NEEDED A SMARTPHONE
BY JACK BLACKBERRY
HE DIDN’T SPEND 58 HOURS TRAPPED
IN A TEXAS WELL, BUT HIS UNFORTUNATE
ALBEIT BRIEF SEALING IN AN OTTAWA LOO
LAST WEEK HAS TRANSFORMED PORT
HAWKESBURY’S V. OWN GREG
MACEACHERN INTO PARLIAMENT HILL’S
ANSWER TO “BABY JESSICA” MCCLURE.
“OK, no kidding, but I’m trapped in the washroom
outside 200 West Block,” exclaimed the
former Bindy Stronach spokesman via Twitter
last week, “Help.”
I’m told Summa Strategies communica-
LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH & CLUTTERED
BY NICK KNACKS
IF YOU’RE WONDERING WHY A RECENT
AUCTION AD IN THE CHRONICLE HERALD
WAS TRUMPETING THE SALE OF ITEMS
tions consultant Greg, who’s worked in the
provincial Liberal caucus office, at Halifax
City Hall, and as then-Transport Minister
Clifford Huskilson’s executive assistant, was
attending the Cattleman’s Reception in the
West Block Ballroom when nature called.
“Wish I had a beer,” came a follow-up tweet,
informing Greg’s 550-plus Twitter followers
that a commissionaire had apparently been
contacted and was en route to save the day,
while a fellow “hostage” — a colourful, old elbow-tipping
gent who it seems was responsible
for shutting the bathroom’s knobless barrier
— continued to “beat on the door.”
Sprung from the can a short time later, Greg
BELONGING TO THE N.S. DEPT. OF
COMMUNITY SERVICES, YOU’RE NOT
ALONE.
Both the March 11 and March 18 editions
SPOTS OF BOTHER AT
THE PURDY’S PARKADE
It took some digging, but I’ve finally managed
to attach a name to that pretty red
Nissan I far too often see taking up TWO
spots at the Purdy’s Wharf Parkade
(Tweets of the Week, Frank 580).
Seems the owner of said vehicle — N.S.
licence plate EDY 102 — is Danette Pottle
of Dartmouth.
Danette used to live on Green Village
Lane, but now dosses down in a $360,500assessed
abode on Freshwater Trail — off
Baker Drive — which she co-owns with
Christopher Cruikshank (Who he? — ed.).
Surely this couldn’t be the be the same
talented and fragrant Danette Pottle, the Regional
Sales Manager for Growthworks’
Atlantic Venture Fund? Or could it? GASP!
Does Frank know? Phone: (902) 420-1668
Greg MacEachern
via his @gmacofglebe Twitter account, exclaimed
to one and all that he was, “Free at
last. But scarred.”
He subsequently tweeted to CBC political
hack Rosemary Barton, informing her that
“Twitter saved my life.”
Did someone say “Movie of the Week”?
of the Herald carried the advert, proclaiming
that an auction under the Warehouseman’s
Lien Act would take place March 28 at 11
Pettipas Drive in Dartmouth. Although the
blurb gives the names of the few dozen individuals
whose stuff would be sold — including
cab driver and would-be real estate developer
Ali Roushani — there were no details
on what sort of items would be up for
grabs. The last name appearing on the list is
the Dept. of Community Services.
“It’s not actually our property,” explains government
spokesthingy Lucas Wide. He says
the department agreed to pay a months’ storage
fees on behalf of a client who was going
through a “period of transition.” It would appear
the client ran out of time.
Under the Act, the owner of a storage facility
has the right to confiscate a customer’s
items and sell them at public auction if they
fall too far behind in their rent.
In a related story, I see some items belonging
to beloved local sports personality Alex J.
Walling were also advertised for sale, this
time in an auction at the U-Haul Self Storage
place in Burnside on March 20. I unfortunately
wasn’t able to catch up with the man
himself before Frankland Press Time, so I’m
left to speculate what goodies ol’ Alex J. might
have left to rot.
Some old snow tires, maybe? A few dozen
of those blasted red paper boxes left over from
his days as a student newspaper peddler?
The possibilities, if you care enough to
speculate, are endless.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
APRIL 13, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 13

THE N.S. MLA LOOTING SCANDAL
ZINCK IS NOT
A PRECIOUS METAL
BY A. FRANK GRUNT
WHEN CANADIAN ROCKERS APRIL
WINE SANG ROCK ’N’ ROLL IS A VICIOUS
GAME, I’M SURE THEY ACTUALLY HAD THE
GAME OF POLITICS IN MIND.
The many and growing number of inconsistencies
in the “He said, they said” Trevor
Zinck saga would make anybody’s head spin.
We know a few things for sure:
The Dartmouth North MLA was not
named as a player in Auditor General
Jacques Lapointe’s recent report.
That with Premier Darrell Dexter’s
massive majority win in June, Trevor
Zinck was expendable.
That Zinck was not paying his constituency
office bills on time.
That Zinck fessed up to a gambling
& booze fixation, the result of mounting
personal problems.
And, finally, we know that Zinck is
definitely Dr. Phil material.
Trevor Zinck
As it has been from the very start of this N.S. MLA Looting Scandal,
there are more questions than answers.
But there’s no comparison between incompetence and the suspicion
of criminality. The Zinck file now sits on the desk of AG Lapointe
for further investigation. We don’t know where that further investigation
might lead.
I have no sympathy for the now Independent Honourable Member.
Doctor, lawyer, political columnist, Frank magazine hack, show me
the person who claims to be personal problem free, and I’ll show you
a liar.
But why throw Zinck under the bus when Halifax Atlantic Dipper
Michele Raymond, duly noted in the AG’s report, has her own bookkeeping
challenges to deal with?
I may eat these words one day but, as of now, I consider Zinck an
upgrade from Glace Bay’s dearly departed Dave Wilson. Sadly, both
these characters were (and Zinck still is) entrusted by distressed constituents
who need effective representation the most.
One Dipper caucus member explained to me that they, including
Dexter, had been aware of Zinck’s problems for months, but at the
end of the day found him to be beyond rehabilitation.
It was also explained it’s not unusual for MLAs to get behind on their
bill payments, because in theory, at least, the Speaker’s Office doesn’t
reimburse until after the bills is paid. All bills are in the individual MLA’s
name.
Zinck claimed he was turfed because of a perception he was getting
too cosy with opposition parties, and Dexter & Co. did not want to be
embarrassed by Zinck possibly voting against the upcoming budget.
He even cited recent reports in a popular bi-weekly family magazine
to make his case.
CONTINUED ON PAGE 23
14 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK APRIL 13, 2010
THE END IS NEAR
FOR STEPHEN MCNEIL
BY A. FRANK GRUNT
WELL, IF A MONTH IS A LONG TIME IN
POLITICS, THEN TWO WEEKS BETWEEN EDI-
TIONS OF FRANK MAGAZINE IS ALSO A LONG
TIME.
Last issue, Frank 581, we once again
touched on the inner workings, or non-workings,
if you will, of that “black hole” sometimes
referred to as the N.S. Liberal Caucus.
Of which, as of this writing Friday,
March 26, 9 p.m., there are a total of
10 members. But that could change any
minute. Might even change tomorrow
when I come in to fix only my major
spelling errors.
But, what the hell, life’s too short.
Political lives are even shorter.
One rumour circulating the last 10
days or so, and which will not go away,
is that another prominent Liberal MLA Stephen McNeil
is about to go bye-byes, like the late
Dave Wilson from Glace Bay. Anybody remember him?
He resigned over the N.S. MLA Looting Scandal. Watch for this
little matter to continue to grow. Wilson, as we reported last week,
lawyered up with Sydney’s Sheldon Nathanson.
Since then, Liberal Leader Stephen McNeil has made another
spectacle of himself, saying sorry seems to be the hardest word. All
the system’s fault, McNeil continues to say, not one mention of greed
and the possibility of criminality on part of our “Honourable” MLAs,
including Liberals.
Fact is McNeil misled everybody he knew, February 17, a full three
weeks ahead of time that Glace Bay’s Wilson’s was going to resign,
which he did on March 11. McNeil preferred not to know why, so
when the shoe fell, he could plead ignorance.
Is this the mark of a leader ... of anything?
So, it gets worse, not better, for McNeil, who some Liberals feel will
not survive the mid-May Liberal AGM in Antigonish.
“No. I don’t see him surviving,” said one Liberal.
“He knows his caucus is unhappy with him, and does nothing. He
wouldn’t even survive a vote of confidence from his own caucus members.
I think a lot of membership cards are going to be signed and
mailed. Secret ballot is the best way to get rid of any party leader.”
I also asked the question Frank 581, does McNeil chief of staff,
Allan Sullivan Jr. have the same political savvy of his late namesake
father?
The answer, according to one party insider is a resounding “NO!”
Even some loyal Liberal Cape Bretoners are seeing Sullivan as
not exactly what they thought they read on the label.
“He doesn’t even come close to Dan O’Connor (D. Dexter’s chief
of staff), and he’s a nine to five-er. If anybody should know by now
that politics is not a nine-to-five job, it should be Allan Sullivan. Somebody
who grew up around politics,” said the irate insider.
CONTINUED ON PAGE 23

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS
FOR NOT-SO-FAT FREDDIE
BY A. FRANK GRUNT
FREDDIE JACKSON IS OUT AS THE LONG-
TIME MANAGING EDITOR OF THE CAPE
BRETON POST.
His last day, I’m told, was Friday, March
19.
Known for schmoozing with members of
Sydney’s uppercrust and anybody bearing a
title, as much as he was known for his long
black trenchcoat, Jackson was the Post’s lead
newsman for nearly two decades.
The native Newfie and former Telegram
sports reporter replaced Angus MacDonald,
who as managing editor introduced the notion
of very wide, red suspenders into the Post
newsroom.
As for schmoozing, it’s great as long as at
the end of day (or night!) you get some worthwhile
copy out of it. Schmoozing also works
best with an open bar, outside of those two
facts of life, schmoozing is a complete waste
of time. Yours, and particularly mine.
I understand Freddie, who a certain biweekly
family magazine back in about 1992
labelled Fat Freddie Jackson, was offered
something else to do within the TransCon (a
Quebecois outfit) newspaper chain.
At 53, married with five girls between the
ages of 17 and 27, Freddie, who in latter years
a certain bi-weekly family magazine was
forced to refer to as Not-So-Fat-Anymore
Freddie Jackson, is too young to retire.
He did get severance from Transcon. What
those particulars are, I don’t know.
A move back to Newfoundland is highly
unlikely.
When Freddie first joined the Post, it was a
Thomson newspaper, then a CanWest chattel,
now a TransCon plaything.
Important to note, once again, that TranCon
Media is a company more interested in corporate
profits from the printing biz than effective
news gathering.
At the time of Freddie’s arrival, Peter
Kapyrka was the Post publisher. (Middle initial
“J”, by the way, if you care.)
I think the writing had been on the wall for a
very long time re Freddie Jackson.
Only recently, bang on Frankland 581 deadline,
did that same bi-weekly family magazine
receive a tip that managing editor Freddie had
virtually lost all his editorial power “months
ago” to former city editor/associate editor
Doug McGee.
It is, in fact, McGee who can now be addressed
as the paper’s managing editor. Pro
tempore.
Fred Jackson
The paper (read: TransCon) I understand,
is currently wondering aloud if the Post needs
a full-time managing editor.
Oh, dear, how this bodes for another former
sports guy turned TransCon managing editor,
Carl Fleming, at the Truro Daily News, a
much, much smaller newspaper, is now a very
open and interesting question.
Much the same can be said for other
TransCon playthings like: the New Glasgow
Evening News, and the Amherst Daily
News.
Current circulation figures, supplied by
TransCon, claim Post circulation at about an
average of 26,000 daily.
Circulation was about 32,000 daily when
Freddie took over, but that fact is also a function
of the meltdown in the newspaper biz.
Although, you talk to any Cape Bretoner
over 25 years of age (if you can find one) and
they will tell you the same thing — they basically
buy the Post for the obits. It’s been that
way for 35 years at least.
Not that a little bit of enterprising hard news
wouldn’t help move the paper from time to
time, but that’s not been seen in the pages of
the Post since the days of the late Ian MacNeil
in the 1970s.
Anita Delazzer, who arrived on the scene
CAPE
BRETON
CALLING...
from Irving Schwartz’s Seaside Cable, is
now the Post publisher. She’s seen as a fair
person (just taking orders as they say), but
Anita Delazzer is rarely confused with the late
Katharine Graham from that other Post.
Near the end of his tenure at the Post,
Freddie was doing some late night tab and
editing work, work formerly done in rather
accomplished manner by Peter Cotter. But
poor Peter was also let go by Transcon earlier
this year.
It was Freddie and former publisher Kapyrka
who teamed up to give readers the short-lived
asinine “Buddy Breton.”
It was an anonymous weekly column playing
on every Cape Breton stereotype, using
the Cape Breton vernacular, which was employed
to, ... to, er, u, ... I have no idea, really.
Freddie and Kapyrka also employed their
lovely wives to help out during election nights.
What’s that they say “strong families build
strong paycheques.” I dunno.
No matter.
Freddie isn’t the last to go.
As previously reported, TransCon plans to
move all pre-production of its Nova Scotia
playthings to Charlottetown. This will put at
least another six Post employees out of work,
TransCon’s only unionized shop. They have
been without a contract since January 31.
The good news is that pre-production workers
kicked out on their arses by Anita Delazzer
have been invited to re-apply for their old jobs
in Charlottetown, where there is no union protection.
Incredibly gracious stuff.
Freddie first went on the missing list a few
weeks ago when his regular Saturday, happy
talk column suddenly disappeared from the
editorial page. Shame. I’m gonna miss that
inspirational quote at the end of each column,
Freddie used to close with.
But Freddie has made enough connections
in Cape Breton to land on his feet. Don’t you
worry.
Also disappearing from Cape Breton at
alarming rate is any real media presence.
First ATV pulled out of Sydney, then CBC-
TV’s Cape Breton Report was also flushed
down the toilet, and when Halifax’s “Little”
Bobby Pace came to town buying up radio
stations, this only added to an already advanced
case of media atrophy.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
APRIL 13, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 15

MARTY MUST BE CRYING
IN HIS BEER...
BY M. BYBERS
IT ISN’T OFTEN YOU SEE MARTY CHERNIN WIND UP WITH THE SHORT END OF THE
STICK, BUT THE BANKRUPTCY OF SMOOTH HERMAN’S AND JOE’S WAREHOUSE HAS
LEFT C.B. BIZ MOGUL MARTY SHORT NEARLY $220,000.
Marty’s company, Joe’s Warehouse Ltd., which he co-owns with Hugh Tweedie, owns the
sprawling complex on Charlotte Street and Esplande Street, the old Canadian Tire store
that for three decades was home to the now-failed nightclub and eatery.
The entity that went bankrupt is Joe’s Warehouse Management Ltd., which operated both
the watering hole and hashery. The JWM firm, not to be confused with Marty and Hugh’s
similar-sounding biz, is run by father-daughter duo, barrister Joe Salter and Sara Figliomeni.
Two weeks after Joe and Sara pulled the plug on the Sydney institutions (Frank 581), their
JWM firm filed official bankruptcy papers, claiming $640,510 liabilities, and only $40,000 as-
sets, which include $2,000 in liquor and beer,
$1,055 cash, a $15,000 cooler and a $13,405
point of sale computer system. The biz cited
an inability to meet its obligations, as the bankruptcy
cause.
The first meeting of creditors takes place
April 8, at the BDO Canada offices, bright
and early at 10 a.m. Halifax BDO guru Paul
Goodman is the trustee.
Halifax-based computer systems guru AM
Aloha is the only secured creditor ($13,405),
while the sole preferred creditor is Marty and
Hugh’s biz, owed $16,000 for wages and/or
rent, on top of the $203,645 it is owed as an
unsecured creditor.
Joe and wife Sharon Salter are the individual
creditors most on the hook. One-time
Progressive Conservative candidate Joe,
who in 1984 lost Cape Breton-The Sydneys
to Russell MacLellan, is out $65,237, and
North Sydney lass Sharon is out of pocket
$183,500.
Another significant creditor is Canada Revenue
Agency, stiffed $25,000. No doubt some
noses may get out of joint, at the thought that
Sara, as an Enterprise Cape Breton Corp.
board member, is herself the recipient of federal
tax dollars, yet her biz is unable to fulfil
all its federal tax obligations.
The last time I checked, ECBC boardies
collected about $4,000-per, and received a
$200-$300 per diem. I left a message with
ECBC spokesthingy D.A. Landry, asking if
Sara’s commercial bankruptcy in any way affects
her federal Crown Corp. directorship,
but D.A. did not return my call at deadline.
Sara, whose ECBC tenure was extended two
years (current term ends January 2011),
claimed $896.90 in ECBC-related expenses,
for a two-day trip to Ottawa last March.
On the municipal front, John Morgan’s
fiefdom, also known as the Cape Breton Regional
Municipality, is owed $2,600, and
Myles Burke’s C.B. Regional Police is out
$19,905. As you can see, the Smooth
Herman’s-Joe’s closure hurts not only local
imbibers and gourmands, but the local tax-
16 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK APRIL 13, 2010
payer feels the sting, as well.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
WHO ELSE IS OWED
AM Aloha (John MacKeen, owner) $3,940
Bell Mobility $1,070
Cape Breton Beverages
(Michael Cote) $2,350
EcoLab, Mississauga $580
Giant 101.9 CHRK (Newcap) $26,000
Metro Sanitation (Mary Macneil) $5,075
Scotia Propane
(Allan & Michael Pace) $10,265
Shaw’s Wholesale Fish $42
SOCAN $2,200
Sysco Atlantic $84,920
Transcontinental (C.B. Post) $3,200
Yellow Pages $1,575
Marty Chernin
LOT OF HOT WINGS
THE MARCH 7 CLOSING OF SMOOTH
HERMAN’S AND JOE’S WAREHOUSE RESTAU-
RANT STIFFED SUPPLIER SYSCO CANADA TO
THE TUNE OF A NEARLY $80,000, COURT
DOCUMENTS ALLEGE.
Via its Hill Law beagle Tim Hill, Sysco sued
Joe’s Warehouse Management Ltd. in Halifax
Supreme Court on March 23, the same
day the Sydney establishments filed for bankruptcy.
Sysco alleged the unpaid $79,985 debt (at
1.5% monthly interest) was incurred between
January 4 and March 5.
According to federal bankruptcy records
(see story), Sysco is a JWM unsecured creditor
to the tune of $84,920. But what’s an olive
or two difference between friends?

ARMOYAN DIVORCE:
FIVE MONTHS OF DRAMA
BY MEL T. DOWN
Oct. 20: Mother of three, Lisa Armoyan
files a divorce petition in Palm Beach County
court against her husband of 16 years, Armco
Capital bigwig and developer Vrege
Armoyan.
Oct. 22: Lisa serves Vrege divorce papers
in their Bocca Raton abode. She allegedly
tells him: “Don’t talk to me, talk to my lawyer.”
Oct. 26: Vrege flies back to Halifax, taking
with him his Armco company laptop. While
at their Marlborough Woods home (formerly
Commodore Bruce Oland’s cottage), Vrege
realizes, with trepidation, that he recently left
his laptop alone with avid archivist Lisa.
Nov. 3: The FBI searches the Miami law
offices of disbarred lawyer Scott Rothstein,
who attracted dozens of high-rolling investors,
including Vrege, in a massive Ponzi scheme.
The week before, Rothstein chartered a private
jet to Africa and began sending colleagues
suicide texts.
Nov 3: Unbeknowest to Vrege, in Florida
Lisa files a lis pendens on the Marlborough
Woods abode, legally disputing Vrege’s sole
ownership of the $2.81 million assessed
property.
Nov. 3: Returning to Bocca Raton, Vrege
and Lisa have it out. He accuses her of copying
the contents of his Armco laptop. She allegedly
responds, “Do you think I’m stupid.
You have no idea how smart I am. I’m going
to get you.” She allegedly threatens to disclose
confidential Armco info to its competitors.
Nov 4: Vrege shares the bad news with
his big brother George Armoyan, the famed
Bay Street wheeler-dealer.
Nov. 8: George flies down to Florida to
meet Vrege.
Nov. 11: George convenes an Armoyan Divorce
War Room in Boca Raton, with Vrege’s
Florida lawyer Jeffrey Fischer, Lisa, her lawyer
Joel “Mad Dog” Weissman, her two
chartered accountants, and her father, T.O.
jeweller Hagop Atikian. Despite his best attempts,
George is unable to reconcile the
warring parties.
Nov. 17: Vrege hands his laptop over to
George, who promptly gives it to a Deloittee
& Touche forensic investigation team. They
determine that the laptop was compromised
by a USB thumb-drive on Oct. 7, nearly two
weeks before Lisa began divorce proceedings.
Nov. 18: Armco prez Rob MacPherson
terminates Vrege’s $144,000-per employment
as head of Armco’s US division in Florida.
Early December: Vrege buys a $1.6 million
yacht he moors in Miami and leaves Boca
Raton, according to Lisa’s subsequent court
documents.
Dec. 1: Fugitive lawyer Rothstein returns
from Morocco to surrender to U.S. authorities.
Dec. 2: Florida court orders Vrege pay
$150,000 in temporary support to Lisa and
their two daughters. (Their son is attending a
T.O. private school.)
Dec. 4: Vrege sues Lisa in Nova Scotia
Supreme Court over her Florida lis pendens
on the Marlborough Woods home, arguing
that her US legal manoeuvres are “an abuse
of power, high-handed, callous and an attempt
to embarrass” him.
Dec. 15: Armco sues Lisa in N.S. Supreme
Court to prevent her from releasing the confidential
biz info on Vrege’s laptop.
Dec. 22: Newly released documents from
US federal court reveal that Rothstein’s firm
paid Vrege $240,000 shortly before its Nov.
10 bankruptcy. In total, Vrege lost $3.62 million
investment in Rothstein’s fraudulent
scheme.
Dec. 23: After Vrege allegedly terminated
the lease of their $12,000-a-month rented
house in Bocca Raton, Lisa and her daughters
move into a new home across town.
Monthly rent: $8,000.
Jan. 13: George announces he is stepping
down from the family’s gazillion dollar
holding firm Clarke Inc. “to attend to personal
family matters.”
Jan. 27: Rothstein pleads guilty in Florida
court to masterminding a $1.2 billion Ponzi
scheme.
Jan 28: Vrege resigns his long-time post
as Armco director, which paid him an additional
$50,000 or so, over and above his
Armco executive salary.
Jan. 28: On this day their youngest child
was “scheduled to have emergency surgery
to correct life threatening complications” from
a previous IWK surgery, states Lisa’s N.S. affidavit.
“I cannot leave her.” Lisa requests she
be allowed to deliver N.S. court testimony via
video conference from her lawyer’s Palm
Beach office, and her request is granted.
Early February: Part-time fitness trainer
and model Lisa begins classes at Kaplan University.
Feb 8: A Florida lawyer in the Rothstein
fallout indicates he wants to question Vrege
and George’s 82-year father Sami Armoyan.
According to documents, Sami’s numbered biz
1181830 Alberta Ltd. was recently paid $6.17
million from Rothstein’s law firm. George later
tells media the payout was related to legitimate
legal work. Post-bankruptcy, Rothstein’s
firm owes Sami’s biz $910,000.
Feb 9: Lisa appears before Florida judge
Kenneth Stern, asking the court to take possession
of her copied info from Vrege’s laptop,
Lisa Armoyan
to preserve it for the purposes of disclosure
in their divorce. Stern obliges.
Feb. 11: A marathon, three-hour N.S. Supreme
Court hearing in the Lower Water
Street courthouse. Lisa appears via TV hookup
before judge Gerald Moir, requesting a
stay in Armco’s Nova Scotia lawsuit. Vrege
testifies. Moir reserves his decision.
March 3: Vrege’s lawyer Mick Ryan files
a new SC lawsuit in Halifax, alleging Lisa
“committed the tort of intimidation.”
March 15: Frank Magazine reveals details
of Vrege’s ongoing tax feud with Revenue
Canada over $405,000 in disputed income,
stemming from $1 million loans he gave his
children in 2000. The kids (combined age:
eight) promptly flipped the $1 million loans
back to one of Vrege’s companies at a higher
interest rate (Frank 581).
March 17: Judge Moir sides with Lisa, ruling
that Florida court is the more appropriate
venue for Armco’s laptop dispute. At presstime
it is unknown if Armco intends to appeal, or
intervene in the Armoyan’s Florida divorce, or
sit on the sidelines.
The Armoyan legal row is ongoing in the
Sunshine State.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
APRIL 13, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 17

CTV SHRUGS OFF THE AJS
BY ANDREW CORNSTALKER
WHILE CTV ATLANTIC NEWS DIRECTOR JAY
WITHERBEE ISN’T TALKING ABOUT HIS STATION’S
VIRTUAL BOYCOTT OF THE ATLANTIC JOURNAL-
ISM AWARDS, LONG-TIME AJAS EXECUTIVE
DIRECTOR BILL SKERRETT SAYS CTV’S LACK
OF SUPPORT IS “ABSOLUTELY” HURTING THE
AWARDS’ CREDIBILITY.
It’s been a couple of years since CTV has
been represented on the non-profit’s board of
directors, and just as long since the station
came up with any financial support for the organization,
which has an annual budget in the
neighbourhood of $100,000. In recent years,
Bill says his appeals for cash from CTV have
been denied because of the company’s financial
difficulties. Incidentally, Global Maritimes,
whose parent company Canwest Global filed
for bankruptcy protection last year, is sponsoring
the AJAs to the tune of $2500 in 2010*.
The last time CTV bought a table at the
awards gala was 2007, which happened to
be the same year CTV Newsnet’s former
mascot, The Stay Puft Newsman, belched
out a stale Belinda Stronach joke or two for
the gathered masses. But worst of all, Bill says
CTV only saw fit to submit two pieces of work
for consideration this year.
“From my point of view there’s a big hole
there,” says Bill, who describes CTV as a “sig-
CBC GOES WHOLE HOG
ONE MORE AJAS DISPATCH, NOT CONCERN-
ING THE TEPID NUMBER OF SUBMISSIONS FROM
CTV ATLANTIC, BUT THE VERITABLE MOUN-
TAIN OF ENTRIES RECEIVED ANNUALLY FROM THE
CBC.
AJAs boss-man Bill Skerrett estimates that
his volunteer corps of judges are examining
around 120 entries from the Mother Corp this
year, a number that represents a whopping
30 per cent of the approximately 400 total
Rob Johnson
18 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK APRIL 13, 2010
nificant force” in Atlantic Canadian journalism.
CTV submitted about a dozen pieces for
consideration last year, but it only sent one
foot soldier to attend the Moncton gala (Was
it the grumpy one with the moustache or the
splotchy red-headed guy? — ed.).
Bill dismisses my suggestion that the network
could be sore over the AJAs’ constant
dismissal of Liz Rigney’s fine work. Last year
Liz won her second Edward R. Murrow
Award for feature journalism; both awards
were for emotionally manipulative pieces
which failed to capture top prizes at the AJAs
(Frank 558). Veteran CTV camera-slinger
Dan MacIntosh did manage to bring home
the hardware however, snagging the 2008
Gold Video Journalist award for his show of
work.
* Other sponsors this year include Irvingowned
Brunswick News, the Mother Corp,
NewCap Radio Inc., The Chronicle Herald,
and Transcontinental Media, who all
coughed up $4,000 apiece. Bill wouldn’t divulge
amounts pledged by corporate and government
sponsors, including Bell Aliant,
TelAv, Emera, Atlantic Lotto, CNW Group,
the Province of New Brunswick, and Communications
Nova Scotia.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
entries received. Keeping in mind that each
entry costs $55, the Mother Corp’s submissions
are costing taxpayers in the neighbourhood
of $6,600 this year, certainly more than
enough to pay for a few billboards along
Barrington Street (Frank 581). By way of
contrast, CTV is spending $110 on its pair of
entries.
It’s a reality that seems to be reflected everywhere
these days, isn’t it? Private companies
are pinching pennies at every turn, while public
concerns like the CBC continue to pitch ’em
out the door with greater gusto than ever.
UP AND DOWN THE DIAL
KEN GEDDES, THE FOUNDING GENERAL MANAGER OF K-
ROCK IN KENTVILLE, HAS BEEN SHUFFLED TO HALIFAX IN
ORDER TO SERVE AS Q-104 AND KOOL 96.5’S GENERAL
SALES MANAGER.
Ken’s first day in the big city was March 1.
“It was a promotion designed to give me experience in a
larger market,” says Ken, adding that it was an opportunity
that he “couldn’t pass up.”
While I couldn’t be happier for Ken and his move up the
corporate ladder, I fear David Suzuki wouldn’t exactly approve
of his environmentally unfriendly decision to commute
every day from the Valley. He’ll continue to keep house with
Prospect Agri Services maven Kim Best, his talented and
WHY I’LL
BE THERE
WITH BELLS ON
ANYWAY
SOME MIGHT SAY THAT TO CONSIDER WHAT
LOSS OF CREDIBILITY THE ATLANTIC JOURNAL-
ISM AWARDS HAS SUFFERED AS A RESULT OF
CTV’S ALMOST COMPLETE LACK OF PARTICI-
PATION THIS YEAR WOULD BE A FOOL’S ERRAND,
AND THEY MIGHT BE RIGHT.
After all, how credible can the Atlantic Journalism
Awards claim to be in the first place? In
order for a piece of reportage to qualify for an
award at all, the news organ must submit it for
consideration to the AJAs, along with a cheque
or money order for $55 per piece. The magazine
which you hold in your hands at this very
moment could contain the most hard-hitting,
mind-blowing, toe-curling piece of journalism
the world has seen since Woodstrum and
Burnward forced Anthony Hopkins to resign
the presidency, but (with apologies to the Chinese),
if there’s no tickee, there’s no laundry.
Then again, since when do credibility and
awards go hand and hand anyway? In a world
where Jamie Foxx has a Grammy, the Nobel
Peace Prize was possessed by Yasser Arafat
and Liz Rigney has not one but two Edward
R. Murrow Awards, who gives a darn if
Saltscapes has to pay $55 to give some random
freelance schmuck the opportunity to
stand at a podium and feel like he’s done
something that matters for once in his life? I,
for one, do not.
In fact, I love the Atlantic Journalism Awards,
and I don’t care who knows it. I love the glitz,
the glamour, the tears and laughter; a boozy
acceptance speech here, a touch of cleavage
there.
May 8 can’t come soon enough.
fragrant wiferoo, at their Prospect
Road, King’s County
abode (2010 assessment:
$190,000).
RADIO DAZE
Elsewhere in the new-ish
NewCap bunker, which boasts
a majestic view of the Windsor Street Exchange, Kool 96.5
program director Rob Johnson has fled the coop.
“He tendered his resignation this morning (March 26),”
general manager Ted Hyland tells me.
I regrettably wasn’t able to catch up with Saskatchewan
native Rob before Frankland Press Time.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca

CLOAK AND DAGGER IN WOLFVILLE
BY WATT ITSAY
IN SPRING A YOUNG MAN’S FANCY TURNS TO THOUGHTS OF LOVE, BUT
IF YOUR NAME IS LUTZ BECKER AND YOU LIVE IN WOLFVILLE, AND TOWN
HALL WON’T ANSWER YOUR FREEDOM OF INFORMATION REQUEST, THEN
YOUR FANCY TURNS TO THOUGHTS OF LITIGATION.
Lutz has once again opted to go the Supreme Court route to unlock
Wolfville’s vault of many secrets, and to pry the mayoral digits of gatekeeper
Bob Stead from its closed crypt.
A sense of deja vu is overwhelming, as Lutz is suing the town for the
second time around, to force the release of a pristine, unedited copy of
the (cue organ music — ed.) mythic Stead Letter.
This mysterious missive is the one-page note dated Feb. 15, 2007
from Mayor Bob to cao Roy Brideau, outlining Roy’s robust four-year
ROY’S SWEET DEAL
BY MEG A. BUCKS
MY MIND REELS AT THE THOUGHT OF WOLFVILLE CAO ROY BRIDEAU
BAGGING $100,000-PER AND LIKELY ENJOYS THE SWEETEST PENSION
DEAL IN TOWN.
Is there a major oil sands project underneath Mud Creek, and untold
wealth that permits Mayor Bob Stead and his merry councillors to pay
town employees top dollar?
On January 18 town council unanimously ratified Roy’s contract, as
it was formally written in a Feb. 15, 2007 letter to Roy from Mayor Bob.
This is the infamous Stead Letter, with its final paragraph blacked out,
the missive Lutz Becker has been trying to wrestle from the town since
May 2008.
In the non-redacted paragraphs, Mayor Bob spells out Roy’s pay from
Year 1 (2007-2008) to Year 4 (2010-11), beginning at $91,000 and
steeply climbing to $100,403.
We’re talking serious change, in a town with a tax base the size of
Wolfville’s. For comparison’s sake, Robert Thibault is making
$125,000-per as cao of Richmond County, an area vastly larger with
nearly 2.5 times the population.
Wolfville’s pension contributions seem equally as outlandish, er, generous.
In Year 1, the town contributes 12% to Roy’s pension plan, to
salary raises (see story below).
You’ll recall Lutz first sued town officials after a fruitless 18-month
quest for answers, via the misnamed “Freedom of Information” Act.
In Frank 581 I reported Lutz settled his row with Mayor Bob and Roy,
at a cost to taxpayers, some suggest, that hit about $17,000 in legal
fees. A cost, of course, Mayor Stead’s administration could have easily
avoided, by handing over the letter in the first place.
Turns out, Lutz had a premature notion of settlement. The town did
not release the full Stead Letter as Lutz expected and the contents of
the Stead Letter’s blacked-out paragraph elude him to this day. What
heinous mystery does this missing paragraph foretell?
Stay tuned.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
Roy’s 6% contribution.
By Year 4, Roy contributes nothing to his
retirement fund, while the town contribution
maxes out at 18%.
For context, our poor, beleaguered MLAs
ante up 10% of their salaries for their
cadillac pension plan, an amount the government,
ie. the taxpayer, annually
matches.
Maybe Roy is worth every penny of his
present and future take-home, I don’t know.
The Banff School of Management and
U. of Alberta grad toiled for 12 years as a
senior municipal manager with the Alberta
government before becoming executive director
of the New Brunswick Council on
Recreation for the Disabled, and subsequently
cao of Sackville, N.B. Roy has
served as Wolfville cao since 1995.
I believe he was first hired at just below
$60,000-per, though I cannot state it as fact.
Roy Brideau
Roy’s wife Sherry Brideau teaches primary at Hantsport school.
They live in a $319,300-assessed abode on Avon Street in the tiny
hamlet of Hants Border, Kings Co.
Does Frank Know? atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
Frank News Tips
Hotline
1-888-335-5505
www.atlanticfrank.ca
2010014
APRIL 13, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 19

FROM THE WHO’S WATCHING
THE WATCHERS FILES
BY WARD N. LOOTER
I HEAR LOCKEPORT-AREA DWELLERS WERE
STUNNED TO LEARN FROM THE COMICAL HER-
ALD’S MARCH 20 EDITION THAT LOCAL GAL
SUZANNE CROSBY HAD BEEN UNDER HOUSE
ARREST SINCE DECEMBER FOR COMMITTING
FRAUD DURING HER STINT AS DEPUTY SUPER-
INTENDENT OF THE PROVINCIAL JAIL IN YAR-
MOUTH.
“(The case) was very hush-hush,” says my
source who, like many others, found the timing
of Herald hack/reformed plagiarist Brian
Medel’s article odd.
“Why wasn’t this in the Yarmouth Vanguard’s
court news when it went to court (in
December)?”
Either way, my source calls 42-year-old
Suzanne’s downfall “poetic justice,” explaining
that in some Department of Justice circles,
she wasn’t exactly Miss Popularity.
A former toiler at the Shelburne School for
Boys, Sue also spent time as a Burnside
Lock-up captain, before securing employment
in Yarmouth, where she eventually helped
herself to more than $8,000 from the prisoner
trust account and abused her government
credit card. All of the funds in question have
been paid back.
Appearing on Sue’s behalf one week before
Christmas, high-priced criminal lawyer Joel
Pink told Judge Robert Prince Sue didn’t
really know why she did what she did.
And frankly, neither do I.
Government documents show Suzanne’s
annual salary was hovering around $75,000
at the time she resigned from her position.
That’s not exactly pocket change in N.S. and
definitely not in Lockeport.
Her departmental travel expenses for the
previous fiscal year totalled nearly $15,000,
only $1,500 less that of the Provincial Court’s
Chief Justice Pat Curran.
Several years ago, Sue and her husband
Bill Crosby, who once served as Lockeport’s
Recreation Director and later toiled at the
Boys School, purchased Bill and Val
Atwood’s Ocean Mist Cottages, a series of
oceanfront getaways overlooking the town’s
BRANDON LOSES LOBSTER GIG
BY PINKIE SLIPP
SOUTH SHORE NATIVE PARTY ANIMAL
BRANDON LOVITTE BLADES, 33, WHOSE
SEXUAL ASSAULT AND CRIMINAL HARASSspokesthingy
Const. Brian Palmeter, the
Barrington Municipal High School graduate
is in hot water for an alleged incident that
occurred at 5770 Spring Garden Road between
8:30 and 9 p.m. on December 2. Sez
MENT CHARGES WERE FODDER FOR MY Brian, Brandon allegedly touched and/or
ORGAN LAST TIME OUT, HAS BEEN LET GO
FROM CLEARWATER FINE FOODS, APPAR-
ENTLY AS A RESULT OF HIS LEGAL WOES.
grabbed the complainant, who is known to
him, in a sexual manner. Last time out,
Brandon told me that he dated the girl, who
cannot be named in light of a publication ban,
Just before quitting time on Friday, March for about six weeks. He’s expected to answer
19, three days after Frank 581 hit newsstands, to the charges in Spring Garden Road Pro-
Brandon, a $25,000/year secretary, says he vincial Court on April 1 at 9:30 a.m..
was ushered into human resources thingy N.S. Legal Aid lawyer Matt Darrah repre-
Linda Hutchison’s office and fired without exsented Brandon during his initial appearance
planation.
on March 2.
“We love you, it’s not about your performance. Although Brandon, who maintains his inno-
But something’s come up,” is Brandon’s sumcence, freely admits to me that the matter is
mary of the brief meeting. Considering he hadn’t before the courts, he has a different story for
completed his three-month probationary period, his pals on www.thehawkroad.com, a mes-
no further explanation was necessary.
sage board dedicated to the goings-on in The
Brandon says his immediate supervisor Pat Hawk, Shelburne County.
Woodworth — CEO Colin MacDonald’s ex- “My Court date was March 4th (it was
ecutive assistant — was in tears.
March 2 — ed.) ... So Yup ... it’s been thrown
“It was all Colin,” Brandon speculates, not- out..and that’s that,” his alter-ego, Chachi
ing that his former boss is an avid reader of Arcola, proclaimed on March 20.
Frank. “He’s in (Frank Magazine) all the Brandon, who has spent much of his adult
time.”
life buying and selling lobster, is the youngest
According to Halifax Regional Police son of Prudence Elizabeth Blades (nee
20 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK APRIL 13, 2010
famous Crescent Beach.
Court documents indicate Sue’s period of
house-arrest — the mother of three lives on
Lockeport’s main drag in a home previously
owned by former mayor Sarah “Sally”
Huskilson — is scheduled to come to an end
June 17, at which time, she’ll begin a sixmonth
curfew period.
Looks like she’ll be free, however, to leave
the province from June 8 to 10 — with the
approval of her sentence supervisor — in order
to attend one of her son’s university graduations
in Edmonton, Alberta.
Local sports enthusiasts may remember
Suzanne (nee Cotter) from her days as a
Lockeport High basketball star, while
younger folks may remember that in the late
’80s, she was a regular fixture along with provincial
basketball star Patti (Langille)
Hutchison, Patti’s two sisters Wendy and
Marlene — and others — at teacher/coach
Kent Balish’s v. well-received summer basketball
camp.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
Brandon Blades
Corbett) and retired silly servant Lovitte
Blades, who still call The Hawk home. Lovitte
is known far and wide for his love of the Boston
Red Sox. Back in 2004, no less of an authority
than Alex J. Walling declared the 62year-old
to be the “world’s biggest” BoSox fan
in a column that appeared on the TSN website.
Incidentally, chatty Brandon proudly declares
that his Edmonton-based uncle, Phil
Smith, is a “self-made millionaire,” although
he mysteriously declined to tell me more. A
little internet snooping revealed Phil to be the
proprietor of something called Alberta Hardwood
Flooring.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca

EVERYONE’S AN IRISHMAN ON MARCH 17
BY PADDY O’FURNITURE
AS THE IRISH SAY, “I DRINK TO YOUR
HEALTH WHEN I’M WITH YOU, I DRINK TO
YOUR HEALTH WHEN I’M ALONE, I DRINK
TO YOUR HEALTH SO OFTEN, I’M STARTING
TO WORRY ABOUT MY OWN.”
And so I raise my pint of Guinness to the
March 17 Charitable Irish Society shindig
at the Marriott Harbourfront. God knows I
would have joined all these lovely people, if I
was steadier on my feet that night.
Here are the attendees, and the official
drinking, er, seating plan. To your health!
Table 1: Pat & Anne O’Neil; Jamie O’Neil;
Stan & Marjorie McLean; Bob & Barb
Sheehan.
Table 2: Brian & Andrea Downie; Lorraine
Lafferty; Chris Lydon & Amanda Dean; Cliff
Soward; Alexa McDonough & Guest. (Who
dat? Spill your guts at Frank’s Alexa’s Mystery
Guest Hotline, 420-1668. — ed.)
Table 3: Sandy & Sean Phillips; Paddy &
Loly Crowley; Eileen & Don Reardon; Dr. John
& Bridget Sullivan.
FOUNDER’S
FLOUNDERS
Table 4: HEAD TABLE! HEAD TABLE! THE
POINTY-HAT TABLE! James Connolly; Anglican
Bish Sue Moxley & Bruce Moxley; Catholic
Archbish Tony Mancini; Chris & Christina
Corkett; Bill & Mary MacLeod; Mark & June
Spindlowe.
Table 5: Bill & Carolyn Harvey; Gerry &
Stella Fogarty; Margaret Havey; John Riley;
Mary Walker & Guest.
Table 6: St Mary’s U.: Bridget Brownlow;
Emily Anderson; Caitlin Dix; Sandy English;
Ben Garcone; Michelle McMullin; Andria
Power; Nich Reyes; Chris Walker; Jenna
Leigh Wilson.
Table 7: Pat & Elizabeth Brownlow; Lea &
Ivan Forbes; Mary & Dave Hutchings; Patrick
Slaney.
Table 8: John & Andrea Murphy; Betty &
Grace Crosby; Michael Murphy; Pat Murphy
& Maggie MacDonald.
Table 9: More SMU: Dr. Esther Enns; Pat
O’Malley; Ni Chuaig; Sean Kennedy; Betty
MacDonald; Bill MacDonald; Anothy O’Malley;
Steve & Debbie Proctor.
Table 10: Brian & Betty Maloney; Erv &
Dorothy Doak; Theresa Laffin & Bob Butler;
NOVA NEW ENGLAND LTD.,
HEADED BY BRENNAN BROTHERS
TERRY AND JAMES, IS IN BREACH
OF CONTRACT AND OWES OVER
$9.7 MILLION ON THE MORTGAGE
FOR ITS FOUNDER’S CORNER
DEVELOPMENT, MONEYLENDER
ADDENDA CAPITAL IS ALLEGING
IN COURT DOCUMENTS.
The Montreal-based investment
Founder’s Corner
firm wants the Supreme Court to appoint a receiver for the besieged downtown Dartmouth
condo development, which is burdened by over $650,000 in lien claims (Frank 580).
Both Terry and James signed personal guarantees in November 2009, when Addenda upped
the mortgage from $8.98 mil to $9.73 mil, and the amount was to be repaid in full by January
29, court papers indicate.
As of March 2, the alleged debt stood at $9,727,534.52.
Via its legal rep Maurice Chiasson of Stewart McKelvey, Addenda wants its court-appointed
receiver to oversee the development’s completion, register the condo corp., and proceed with
selling the units.
Terry was immediately unavailable for comment.
Last fall, the Railtown condo development in Wolfville, which faced similar construction
hurdles as Founder’s Corner, was forced into receivership by its financial backer (Frank 571).
Does Frank Know? atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
Don & Effie O’Driscoll; Jean Knickle.
Table 11: Ellen & John Feehan; Hazel
Feehan; Bob Martell; Marie Mullins; Marianne
& Michael Nee; Pauline Scott.
Table 12: Sheila Donahoe & Michael
Derwin; Edmund Boyd; Patricia Donnelly &
Brian Casey; Lynne Donahoe & Ron Flinn;
Jack Hartnett.
Table 13: Sean & Michele Brownlow; Bill &
Sheila McCallum; Erv & Joan Retie; Jim &
Deborah Stokes.
Table 14: Marie & Matt Kerrigan; Penny &
Bob Doherty; Anne & Richard McKay; Mary
Clancy & Guest (Who dat? — ed.).
Table 15: Sheila & Joe Fougere; Phil
Vaughan & Guest; Breeda & Robert
McDonnell; Bob Wilson & Wendy Booth.
Table 16: Stephen & Dennice Leahey;
Gloria McCluskey; Bernadette & Michael
Fegan; Mairead Fegan; Cathleen
Niedermayer.
Table 17: Carol Conrad; Betty Flemming;
Mary Flynn; Helen Gillis; Ruth MacDonald;
Mary Nolan; Patricia Walsh MacNeil.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
The Waterton
CONDO SAFETY FINE
I see where Navid “Greater Homes”
Saberi’s Waterton Condominium complex
on Walter Havill Drive has been fined a total
of $11,714 in connection with a pair of infractions
under the Occupational Health &
Safety Act noted by safety dude Rodney
Woodworth last fall.
Patrick LeRoy, Navid’s VP Operations,
redpresented the firm and pleaded guilty to
two counts of failing to comply February 18.
The aforementioned fine, which must be
paid by April 30, remained outstanding at
press time.
Does Frank Know? (902) 420-1668
APRIL 13, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 21

WHEN LAWYERS COLLIDE
BY A. JUDE ACATE
HERRING COVE ROAD SOLE PRACTI-
TIONER DANIEL WEIR IS STEPPING UP HIS
FULL FRONTAL ASSAULT ON THE NOVA
SCOTIA BARRISTERS SOCIETY, HITTING
THE REGULATORY BODY WITH A NEW CIVIL
APPEAL LAWSUIT.
The pugilistic Dan, who I’m told is in dire
need of a liver transplant, has dealt a real onetwo
punch to the self-policing Bar Society,
much to the secret delight of its critics within
the profession (Frank 581).
The nearly 30-year vet’s new N.S. Court of
Appeal motion comes fast on the heels of a
related Supreme Court lawsuit, in which Dan
accuses the NSBS of acting to “demean, harass
and torture” him.
Of course, not to sound like Howard
Cossell, but the Bar Society has landed some
heavy blows of its own.
In addition to his Supreme Court suit, Dan
BY LOTTA SINNIN
PARISHIONERS AT CHRISTIAN FELLOW-
SHIP CHURCH IN NEW GLASGOW ARE ON
THE CUSP OF RE-INSTALLING PASTOR
BRUCE MORRISON AS THEIR CHIEF BIBLE-
THUMPER FOLLOWING AN EIGHT YEAR AB-
SENCE.
It’s a surprising turn of events, as I recall
there was some measure of internal strife
surrounding Bruce and his wife Marlene’s
2002 departure, although the man himself
wasn’t much help in jogging my memory.
“Nobody asked us to leave, it was something
we did on our own,” says Pastor Bruce.
22 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK APRIL 13, 2010
is now appealing a March 3 NSBS Complaints
Investigation Committee resolution,
imposing conditions on his law practise for an
alleged failure to participate in a February 16
practise review.
Chaired by past NSBS prez Phil Star, the
complaints committee “erred at law when it
found that (Dan) had refused to co-operate,”
argues Dan, and “erred at law when it exercised
its jurisdiction to order a practise review
.. .when, in fact, there was no reason to do
so.”
Dan is asking the court to rescind the complaints
committee resolution and disallow its
practice review.
On March 3, the NSBS disciplinarians ordered
Dan to cough up his entire client file list
from the past three years; his 2008 and 2009
records of work in process, monthly financial
statements and monthly trust statements, as
well as provide written confirmation of all files
he received from Ray Wortman, Dan’s former
legal partner now in Calgary.
RETURN TO THE GODBOX
FOR PASTOR BRUCE
“We thought it was better for the church.”
An online transcript of his final sermon,
which he delivered on February 24, 2002,
seems to address the turmoil, specifically
when he notes that the most difficult part of
pastoring is the administration of church discipline:
“Whenever a pastor rebukes a person for
wrongdoing he is likely to face a counter attack
that can be downright scary,” Pastor
Bruce declared at the time, adding that the
spread of “slander and false witness against
the pastor” is likely to occur among the flock.
He also seemed to draw parallels between
the Biblical story of Jezebel and contemporary
happenings at the Abercrombie Road
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AT THE
BAR
In his earlier Supreme Court harassment
suit, Dan names acting NSBS executive director
Victoria Rees, current NSBS prez Ron
Creighton, acting professional responsibility
director Elaine Cumming, and, for acting on
the Bar Society’s behalf, Michael Brooker,
Deborah Gillis, and Melanie McGrath, as
well as all members of the Complaints Investigation
Committee.
The Barristers Society has filed no defence
in either of Dan’s cases.
Dan’s practice is closed until April 1.
Case — NOT — closed.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
HOLY
WRIT
godbox, although Bruce insists to me that he
was speaking “more on the basis of principle,
not on the basis of an actual occurrence.”
“There really wasn’t a conflict,” he says.
Bruce and Marlene had been there since
the very beginning, from the group’s first gathering
at the Stellarton Fire Hall in 1984, to
their move to a shiny new erection on the edge
of town two years later.
The couple spent much of their time away
from Pictou County pastoring at churches in
Hong Kong and Ottawa; Bruce says they
were doing some “travelling” when the Christian
Fellowship board invited them to return
home on a temporary basis last fall, following
the departure of Pastor David and Laurilyn
Campbell.
Bruce says the board of directors — which
includes N.G. sawbones Dr. Spencer
Barclay’s wife Caroline — started discussing
making the arrangement permanent in
January, contingent on a full vote of the congregation.
To my knowledge that vote had not
been scheduled before Frankland Press
Time.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca

ZINCK, FROM PAGE 14
In response, the N-Dipper caucus unanimously
said they could no longer trust Zinck.
It’s even said that N-Dipper staffers made
calls to CBC-TV to tip them off to Zinck’s gambling
& boozing so as to diminish any chance
of an opposition party picking him up on the
MLA waiver wire.
Politics truly is a vicious game.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
MCNEIL, FROM PAGE 14
Meantime, on the plus side, if you can call it
the plus side, Preston MLA Keith Colwell is
once again attending caucus meetings. He
stopped going for a spell to protest the growing
influence of McNeil’s director of communications,
Glennie Langille. She screens all
calls to the caucus office, including personal
calls.
(I have experienced this out of control
phenom thing myself, and, yes, I agree with
Colwell that Langille is out of control.)
She is now demanding that each month she
gets a peek at Andrew Younger’s news letter
before he sends it off to the fine people of
Dartmouth East.
Andrew Younger is not amused, and I don’t
think the star candidate who knocked off N-
Dipper Joan Massey in the middle of an N-
Dipper sweep should be amused.
“After all,” asks my man (or woman). “Who’s
supposed to be running this party? Stephen
McNeil or Glennie Langille? And what’s with
Stephen continually running to Glennie’s defence,
almost like some kind of cockold husband?”
AS I WENT TO PRESS, TORIES IN THE RIDING
OF BEDFORD-BIRCH COVE WERE BUSILY
PREPARING FOR A “SOCIAL EVENING” ON MARCH
26, PART OF AN EFFORT TO HELP RALLY THE
TROOPS IN THESE DARK POLITICAL TIMES.
But while newly crowned interim riding president
Joan Christie is hoping the St. Peter’s
Church Hall shin-dig will boost morale, I’m
hearing at least a handful of Tory Pig Dogs
will be staying away due to the attendance of
Len Goucher, who for whatever reason isn’t
very popular these days. Something about
pillaging the public treasury to buy electronics.
I can’t remember all the details.
Joan, the long-suffering wiferoo of former
finance minister Peter, says if people are staying
away because of Len, it’s the first she’s
heard of it.
“I spoke to over 100 people ... and they’re
THE N.S. MLA LOOTING SCANDAL
TORY TRUE BLUES THE CHRISTIES
KEEP THEIR STIFF UPPER LIPS
HOUSE ARREST? PLEASE?
Good question.
One final point, Digby Annapolis MLA Junior
Theriault threatened to pack it in over all
the bullshit. But McNeil coaxed Junior to stay
on, because McNeil is scared shitless of los-
ing Official Opposition funding.
More, next edition.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
all coming,” she tells me, adding that it’s only
proper that Lenny is on hand.
“We’ve had a lot of good times over the
years, and a lot of them have included Len
Goucher,” she says. (Remember that time we
went to Len’s surprise party and instead of a
treat bag we all got a printer? — ed.)
The theme of the piss-up is Tories & Their
Stories, and will feature tales from prominent
TPDs like John Hamm. Joan is also hoping
Ken Streatch will be sending along his greetings
from the Bahamas, although she admits
there have been some communications difficulties
between her Shore Drive abode and
the Caribbean as of late. According to Joan,
guests must abide by one rule only: no gloomy
gusses allowed.
“I’m telling people, if you start any doom and
gloom, I’ll fine you a Toonie,” she says. Peter and Joan Christie.
APRIL 13, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 23

Lester &
Moneesha
(not exactly
as illustrated).
HE LAW-VES YOU, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH
HOPELESSLY ROMANTIC? OR A TOTAL
WASTE OF AN ALREADY BACKLOGGED
COURT SYSTEM’S VALUABLE TIME?
Regardless of how you slice it, Blois
Nickerson legal beagle Lester Jesudason’s
surprise marriage proposal to fellow BN jurisprudent
Moneesha Sinha at the Halifax Law
Courts last week was, without question, a little
bit unorthodox.
“I strongly suspect this is a one-time thing,”
noted Chambers Judge Deborah K. Smith,
one of several people responsible for granting
40-ish Acadia and Dal Law grad Les the
latitude necessary to pop the question in her
courtroom.
But Les’s choice of venue wasn’t the only
part of the proposal some might consider a
little far afield.
Calling 30-something Moneesha his “best
friend” and the sweetest person he knows
(FYI, he and I have never met), Les brought
forward a motion seeking a joinder-of-party
order, which is much less like a “hook-up” than
it sounds. Essentially, it’s legal speak for “engagement.”
Musing he’d been subject to years of “relentless
hounding” by his mother Lily, Les
confessed to all those present that after knowing
Moneesha for three years, he’d finally
found the person with whom he was willing to
share the rest of his life.
Amid Moneesha’s endless stream of teenage
tee-hee-hees (Hey! At least she didn’t
drop the f-bomb! — ed.), self-proclaimed
“good catch” Les promised to look after her
and support her, going so far as to promise
he would devote a portion of his salary to supplementing
her already extensive shoe collection.
(Now, THAT’s what I call a commitment!
— ed.)
Apparently Mauveesha Moneesha owns 20
pairs of purple shoes.
24 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK APRIL 13, 2010
Judge Debby (not exactly as illustrated).
After uttering at least one, “I’m in shock,” an
“Are you serious?” and an Ella Fitzgeraldinspired,
“Aaaaaaah!” Moneesha agreed to be
Les’s wiferoo.
The only person in the court more shocked
than Moneesha by the turn of events was
Dartmouth lawyer Andrew Wolfson, who
was far more dumbstruck than lovestruck.
On site to deal with a Royal Bank-related
matter, Andrew’s first words in his address to
ACJ Smith, who admitted she wished Les had
chosen a day with a lighter docket, were, “I’m
not proposing to anyone.”
For the record, Moneesha is the daughter
of Dal anatomy/neurology prof Dr. Gita Sinha.
Though Les has long lived in the city, I’m
sure his Sri Lankan dad, the late Joseph
CHATTER
BY
BUBBLES
FRANKLANDER
WHO’S
THE BRIDE?
RBC SECURITIES (I THINK THAT’S WHAT
THEY’RE CALLED) SALESMAN, PHIL
JENKINS, A LAWYER LIKE GEOFF MACHUM,
WHO ACTUALLY PRACTISES LAW, IS ALSO
DOING THE GEOFF MACHUM THING.
He is remarrying after spending years as
the husband of a very high-profile lady.
As Geoff Machum is sometimes referred to
as the former Mr. Nancy Regan, securities
man Phil is sometimes referred to as the
former Mr. Sarah Dennis.
Sarah is the prez & CEO of the Halifax
Herald Ltd., and she runs the province’s Paper
of Record.
Sarah and Phil split about three years ago,
in 2007. They have young children.
While South End Sarah, who’s known to
enjoy very much hanging out and not offending
her Halifax blueblood friends, her ex is
more secretive.
“I would rather not comment,” stockbroker
Phil told me when asked about his betrothed’s
identity. “It’s a private matter.”
But Phil did say his second wedding will take
place sometime this summer.
When I guessed at June, he again replied,
“No comment.”
Really, I don’t understand the need for all
this secrecy. Obviously Phil isn’t going to
marry some babe he’s ashamed of or wants
to keep hidden away in a friggin closet.
But maybe, just maybe, it is what it is - he
does not want to talk to me.
I find that hard to believe.
It’s more likely Phil is keeping his wedding
a secret from me because he’s actually marrying
the eleven secret herbs and spices of
Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Meantime, his ex, Ms. CEO Sarah, continues
to date tennis dude Mark Lever, which,
no doubt, pleases her mom and dad greatly.
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
Jesudason, is still remembered in Queens
County, having taught physics and chemistry
at North Queens Rural High in Caledonia
and later moulded minds at Liverpool Regional
High.

ARTISTS KNOCKED OFF THEIR PEDESTALS
BY PHIL I. STEEN
MY BOHEMIAN SPIRIT IS REALLY IN THE
TOILET NOW, EVER SINCE I GOT WORD
NSCAD HAS CANCELLED ALL OUTSIDE
PRESENTERS.
While initially I thought NSCAD prez Dave
Smith came to his senses, and realized that
prolonged exposure to artists can give young
people unhealthy urges, I’m told, in fact, more
BY ART A. PRETIATION
SOME SUSPECT HRM COUNCIL’S
RECENT DECISION TO INVEST OVER $1
MILLION TO FIX REPEATED BOTCHED
RESTORATIONS OF CITY HALL SPELLS BAD
NEWS FOR ANOTHER HISTORIC BARRING-
TON STREET PROPERTY, THE CITY-OWNED
KHYBER BUILDING.
As anyone in the artzie-fartzie crowd can
tell you, the city has shamefully neglected the
c.1888 Church of England Institute, an architectural
gem managed in the past 15 years
by the mostly volunteer Khyber Arts organization.
A March 2010 consultant’s report pegged
the Khyber’s renovation needs at about
$625,000, an amount our cash-strapped councillors
likely won’t be able to stomach spending
after OKing the costly City Hall repairs.
Some fear this means the Khyber will continue
to suffer from benign neglect at the
hands of HRM decision-makers.
City bureaucrats have done little but “consult”
and “study” this landmark property since
December 2005, when it handed out eviction
notices to most tenants (Frank 470), depriving
the Khyber Arts board of much-needed
rental revenue needed to fund its nationally
recognized arts exhibits.
For over four years the building has practically
stood empty, with a 28% occupancy rate,
providing only an office and a gallery space
for the arts org, plus a broom closet-sized office
for the N.S. Heritage Trust. To say the
building is under-utilized is an understatement.
To say the Khyber Arts board is slowly being
starved to death by its landlord HRM is closer
to the truth.
The Khyber’s high-calibre board of directors
— including chair, former NSCAD prez Gary
Neill Kennedy, NSCAD film prof Bruce Barber,
Cox & Palmer lawyer Andrew Sowerby,
erstwhile Heritage Trust boardie Wallace
Brennan and Sobeys Art Award finalist Colleen
Wolstenholme — have their hands tied,
prosaic budgetary reasons are behind the
abrupt cancellations. As in NSCAD can no
longer afford the pittance it gave guest lecturers
and artists to drop by for show and tell.
One source tells me faculty members had
to ring up invitees to sorrowfully spill the sad
news that their big day was not to be, depriving
students of seeing professional artists up
close and personal.
This cost-cutting move packs a real double-
ARTZ
&
FARTZ
whammy at NSCAD, where many teachers
are allergic to practising art.
WHAT WILL BECOME OF THE KYBER?
waiting for HRM’s Kafkaesque bureaucracy
to chart a course of action. Hell may freeze
over first.
As a vibrant arts centre, the Khyber could
be Halifax’s answer to Toronto’s Drake Hotel
and Gladstone Hotel, but instead it stands
as a monument to municipal indifference to
the arts and indifference to heritage preservation.
The Khyber
Building.
The bulk of the Khyber’s estimated
$625,000 reno budget is earmarked to install
an elevator smack in the middle of the Victorian
building. I’m all for improving access for
the physically challenged, but isn’t putting an
elevator in a registered heritage building going
a bit overboard?
Does Frank Know?
atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
APRIL 13, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 25

Good Morning My Fellow Conservatives:
It’s great to be here in Amherst, the home
of Sir Charles Supper, er, um, I mean Tupper.
Charles Tupper.
But, boy, I gotta tell ya that roast beef sure
spells some good. Talk about manufacturing
a scent. Can’t wait to get on top of that! Or
the bottom! Ha! Ha! Ha!
All depends what or whom, I guess, is on
the bottom! Ha! Ha! Ha!
And how hard you’re pushing! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Well, I see that people are still filing in. Guess
they must have taken the stairs to get here.
Sorry, I ripped one in the elevator. I fart a
lot, especially in the mornings! Ha! Ha! Ha!
What’s that they say, “When ya gotta go, ya
26 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK APRIL 13, 2010
JUST NOT SO STORIES
(YES, WE MAKE THEM UP)
A message from the Honourable
Senator from Cavendish, P.E.I.
gotta go!”
But you know, my stomach never, ever
growls. Seriously.
See, if I move the microphone down here
and tuck it in my belt. If I can find my belt?
Hear that? That’s not the sound of my stomach
growling at all — it’s actually the sound of
a helicopter hovering over my lower intestine
doing the daily traffic report! Ha! Ha! Ha!
And speaking of peeking, as I was riding
into this lovely Town of Amherst this morning
on the back of that donkey, never have I seen
so many palm tree branches laid down before
me. Thank you all very much.
And to all these people, screaming “Hosanna”
at me? Not sure, I’ve ever tried that
dish. It must some kind of braised pork, is it?
And I feel bad about the beast, I mean the
donkey. Like, what do you do with a donkey
with four broken legs anyway?
Shame the beast had to be put down.
And speaking of “The Beast,” glad to see
that Newfoundland Premier Danny Williams
is now back in Canada after his U.S. heart
operation.
Of course, my own open heart surgery took
place in aisle #13 at the Canadian Tire Store
on Robertson Road in Ottawa.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with
Mastercraft.
But that’s not what I’m here to lecture you
fine, fine Progressive Conservatives on.

BY BILLY BOB MCWILLIAMS
EVERY WEEK OR SO, SOME PINHEAD
HUMAN RESOURCES OUTFIT CLOGS UP THE
FRANKLAND FAX MACHINE WITH PAGES AND
PAGES OF TOUCHY-FEELY HORSESHIT
DESIGNED TO SOMEWHAT SUBTLELY
SUGGEST THAT I, BILLY BOB MCWILLIAMS,
MAY BE ABLE TO BENEFIT FROM ONE OF
THEIR MOLLY-CODDLING MANAGEMENT
TRAINING PROGRAMS.
I don’t mind telling you I round-file that
malarky immediately upon receipt.
I mean, really, let’s be serious, do I strike
you as the kind of individual who needs to
learn to manage people?
I didn’t think so.
I’ll have you know that after six long
years at the helm of this fine bi-weekly
family publication, I have become nothing
if not adept at dealing with the concerns
of my esteemed colleagues.
Why just the other week, I overheard
someone compare a week at The Bunker
to a prison sentence, a preposterous
comparison if ever I’d heard one.
And so to prove the sheer ridiculousness
of such a statement, I presented my coworkers
with a copy of a recent BBC news
article outlining a few of the goings on at
the real Frankland Prison, a high-secu-
SENATOR, FROM PREVIOUS PAGE
I’m here today to talk to you about my fair
and balanced education at The School of Hard
Knockers, er, um, I mean Knocks, School of
Hard Knocks, and how I manufactured my
ascent to the Upper Chamber.
Now, I know what a few people are asking,
they’re asking, “Geez, Duff, what are you doing
in the Senate, anyway?”
And, the answer is nothing. At the moment.
However, shortly, I will be forming my own
sitting committee — The Senate Sitting Committee
on Hotdog Eating Contests — of which,
of course, I will be the chair and only member,
and therefore sure to win The First Annual
Honourable Mike Duffy Hotdog Eating
Contest.
I haven’t made up the rules yet, but I am
sure they’ll be fair. Fair to me, at least.
After all, I’ve eaten my share of hotdogs and
baloney sandwiches over the years. As well
as many other things.
That’s what I mean by going to The School
JUST NOT SO STORIES
(YES, WE MAKE THEM UP)
Peace & joy in the Bunker
rity lock-up in County Durham, England.
In addition to the high-profile stabbing of
three guards by a deranged, bottle-wielding
inmate, Frankland Prison has, since 2007,
been the scene of several — how can I put
this tastefully? — messy incidents, including
two separate cases of inmates having “boiling
liquid” poured over them, and another
of Hard Knocks. But I dropped out of the
School of Hard Knocks when I decided it was
too hard for me and much, much easier to
suck up to the likes of Stephen Harper and
Peter MacKay, and John Baird and Jim
Flaherty, and Jason Kenney, and the poor
bastard in the wheelchair, and the chick in the
permanent sunglasses, to get where I am
toady ... er, um, or should that be today?
Don’t know. Never was much of a writer, just
more of a sycophantic television presenter,
talking head, who could never find either the
right time slot for my show or a shirttail that
would stayed tucked in! Ha! Ha! Ha!
All I can say is Thank The Good Lord, the
U.S. networks would never give me a second
look, because, it they did, I would certainly
never be where I am today. I had to do something.
What was I supposed to do?
Ask John Bragg if he could put me on his
gold card for the rest on my life? Go door to
door in Summerside and Charlottetown ask-
where a terrorist prisoner was “set on fire.”
I don’t recall anything even remotely similar
happening here.
And obviously my co-workers agree, as
not one of them has since dared offered to
make any more of those unfounded Bunker-prison
comparisons in my presence.
Management training. As if!
ing if I could eat any spare house pets? I had
to make a move.
I had to move up, and sucking up won’t get
you everything in life. But it will certainly get
you where you want to go.
That’s what wrong with journalism students
today. They think the bloody world owes them
a living.
They’ve been brainwashed by integrity and
stupid things like that.
Yeah. Mark my words.
Someday, they’ll all end up part of some left
wing totalitarian state; wearing berets, living
the high life in unelected positions of power,
with far too many perks and absolutely nothing
to wrap their vacuous minds around except,
possibly: affordable housing, accessible
health care, decent wages, progressive taxation,
and assorted crap like that.
Anyway, thank you ... and, now, I hear that
helicopter sound again!
Say! Anybody wanna order out for donairs?
It’s on you!!!
APRIL 13, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 27

THAT PAGE IN FRANK
...AND SO, BASED ON
MY EXTENSIVE
EXPERIENCE
HELMING HURON
COLLEGE AS WELL AS
MY YEARS VOLUN-
TEERING WITH
WOMEN’S RESOURCE
CENTRES AND
PROGRAMMES FOR
IMMIGRANT WOMEN...
I DON’T
add “call
KNOW
or text
DAWG
this number”
- I MEAN,
graphics
I GUESS “LUMPKIN” IS KINDA A FUNNY NAME
AN’ ALL, BUT OVERALL I GOTTA SAY I JUST DON’T REALLY GIVE A CRAP.
AND SAY, WHAT IS A “MOUNT ST VINCENT”
ANYWAYS? IS THAT, LIKE, IS IT A COMMAND?
HEY YOU - MOUNT ST VINCENT! NO THANK YOU!
HEH!
28 APRIL 13, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK
I BELIEVE I WOULD
BE AN EXEMPLARY
CHOICE TO LEAD
MOUNT SAINT
VINCENT UNIVERSITY
INTO THE NEXT
DECADE!
YES, IT’S AN I DON’T
GIVE A RAT’S ARSE
FROM ME AS WELL!!
OKAY PEOPLE, THIS ISN’T WORKING - LET’S TRY SOMETHING ELSE...
...YES! AND IF YOU THINK RAMONA LUMPKIN SHOULD BE THE NEW
MSVU PRESIDENT, TEXT 01 TO THE NUMBER ON YOUR SCREEN!
SERIOUSLY -
WHAT THE HELL?
UH...
WHAT?
RAMONA’S COMPETITION IS DOWN TO JUST TWO
OTHER CANDIDATES — BUT CAN SHE BEAT
LINGUIST SHEILA EMBLETON, WITH HER IMPRES-
SIVE C.V. AS FORMER VP AND WOMEN’S STUDIES
FACULTY MEMBER AT YORK UNIVERSITY...
OR EX-MOUNT A. DEAN
OF ARTS KATHRYN
HAMER, WITH HER
ELECTRIFYING
PERFORMANCE OF
HELEN REDDY’S
“I AM WOMAN”?
LET’S SEE WHAT THE JUDGES SAY!
OKAY! WELCOME TO DANCING WITH THE STARS IN ORDER TO
BECOME PRESIDENT OF A SMALL, AGGRESSIVELY FEMINIST
ARTS COLLEGE — AND JUST LOOK AT SHEILA EMBLETON
JITTERBUGGING UP A STORM WITH BRENT BUTT...
...WHILE DRAWING ATTENTION TO CONTINUING GENDER PAY INEQUALITY
IN THE WORKPLACE! WAY TO SHAKE THAT FEMINIST CRED, SHEILA!

AND THERE’S RAMONA DOING THE CHARLES-
TON WITH POPE BENEDICT XVI WHILE
ARGUING THAT THE CHURCH’S PEDOPHILE
CRISIS IS THE CONSEQUENCE OF A MALE
HIERARCHICAL POWER STRUCTURE...
YAWWWN! STILL DON’T CARE!
I’M SORRY ALEXA -
NOTHING’S WORKING!
THERE’S JUST NO WAY TO
MAKE THE SELECTION OF
YOUR SUCCESSOR AS MSVU
PRESIDENT IN ANY WAY
FUNNY OR INTERESTING!
AND
SO...
OHHH! AND KATHRYN’S
JUST KICKED DON
CHERRY IN THE NUTS!
SIGHHH! OKAY - LET’S
TRY ONE MORE...
TYPICAL! TYPICAL!! AFTER ALL THE
STRIDES WE’VE MADE IN THE LAST
CENTURY, SMART, ACCOMPLISHED,
SUCCESSFUL WOMEN IN NOVA SCOTIA
ARE STILL BEING DENIED AN EQUAL
PLACE IN THE ASININE PUNCHLINES
OF A BIWEEKLY MAGAZINE’S CRAPPY
BACK PAGES!
PAPER MIZ MCDONOUGH?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FOLLOWING IN THIS UNIVERSITY’S
GREAT TRADITION OF PROMOTING FEMALE DIGNITY AND EMPOW-
ERMENT, I AM PROUD AT LAST TO INTRODUCE MY REPLACEMENT
AS PRESIDENT - A POWERFUL , WORLD-TRAVELLED AND INTERNA-
TIONALLY RESPECTED WOMAN WITH LITERALLY DECADES OF
LEADERSHIP EXPERIENCE...
DON’T WORRY LADIES — I’VE SET MY HOT TUB TIME MACHINE FOR THE
MSVU GOVERNORS’ BOARDROOM IN 2010, WHERE YOU CAN ALL PRESENT
YOUR RESPECTIVE ACADEMIC AND ADMINISTRATIVE CREDENTIALS!
HOORAY!!!
ZZZZZ!
SNORE!
DAMMIT! CUT! CUT!!!
I MEAN LOOK AT THIS! OTHER PLACES IN THE WORLD HAVE LOADS OF
STRONG, POWERFUL FEMALES WHO ARE JUST AS CAPABLE AS ANY MAN
OF PROVIDING THE PRETEXT FOR LAZY, NOMINALLY TOPICAL CHEAP
LAUGHS — AND YET WE AT THE MOUNT STILL GET ZERO LACK OF RESPECT!
...QUEEN ELIZABETH II (COMING DOWN SOME STAIRS
WE BOUGHT OFF THE NOVA SCOTIA TATTOO)!!!
HEM HEM - WE NOW
PRONOUNCE THIS
WAAAHHH JESUS!!!
WELL THEN SCREW ‘EM! I DON’T
CARE IF THEY DO THINK IT’S
BORING AND UNFUNNY - WE’RE
JUST GOING TO HIRE THE BEST,
MOST COMPETENT AND QUALI-
FIED WOMAN FOR THE JOB!
IN FACT - OMIGOD!
YES! THERE SHE IS
- THE PERFECT
PRESIDENTIAL
CANDIDATE!!
BRAVO!!! NOW THAT’S COMEDY.
ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK APRIL 13, 2010 29

PHONE ANYTIME : (902) 420-1668
LETTERS
E-MAIL: atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca
PO BOX 295, HALIFAX, NS B3J 2N7
LIFE ON THE STREET
Dear Frank:
Given your report last year on the significant increase
in police activity at the Metro Turning Point Centre
on Barrington Street (Frank 564), I thought you might
be interested in this photo of the shelter as it appears
via Google’s street view function. No denying the police
presence on the day this footage was taken!
On a related note, have you ever noticed how ridiculous
the ad placement at the bus stop in front of
LIKE ANY OF US
WOULD PROCREATE
Dear Frank:
Your magazine is actually
pretty funny, other than the
fact that you make a living
off snitching and ratting on
the misfortunes of others.
I could not think of a bigger
tool.
Hope your kids are
proud!!
Andy Moss,
Via Facebook
MR. LI’S
ELEVEN HERBS
BARBS
& SPICES
Dear Frank:
Given the fire he’s breathing
in Baan Thai guy Victor Woo’s
direction these days, restaurateur
Runping Li (Frank 580)
should really consider renaming
his Blowers Street establishment
“Angry Chili.”
I. Carumba,
Downtown
30 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK APRIL 13, 2010
Metro Turning Point is?
Right now, the space flogs the services of Centum
Home Lender guy Clinton Wilkins. Before that, it was
taken up by Royal LePage house-flogger Helen
Parker.
Is it just me, or is it not a bit callous to advertise various
home-ownership options in front of a facility designed
to put a roof over the heads of the homeless?
Or are these ads simply placed as reminders of one of
the unfortunate alternatives to buying a home?
I. Nita Napartment,
Halifax
NO BRIGHT LIGHTS, BIG CITY FOR REV. RENEE
Dear Frank:
re: Holy Cat Fight, Frank 581.
Just a minor point regarding First Baptist Church associate minister Rev.
Renee Clark’s previous work experience.
Prior to landing on the doorstep of the Oxford Street, Halifax church, the good
reverend spent three years thumping her Bible at the Freeport and Tiverton United
Baptist Churches on Long Island, Digby County, not Long Island, New York.
Of course it’s an easy mistake. The two are practically interchangeable.
Long Island, N.Y., with a population of 7.5 million people, is known for the
Queensboro Bridge, funny accents, iced tea and Billy Joel, while Long Island,
N.S., with a population of 750, is known for the Petit Princess Ferry, funny accents,
lobster, and the world-famous Balancing Rock.
Could’ve happened to anybody.
Pop U. Layshon,
Weymouth
PICKLES
& NOODLES
Dear Frank:
Your article on the sudden
closing of Smooth Herman’s
(Frank 581) sparked a great
deal of conversation here at
my office.
Not because we were fans
of the Glace Bay watering
hole or anything, but because
of A. Frank Grunt’s passing
mention of one Nancy Pickles.
None of us knows Nancy
either, but I was convinced
that Nancy Pickles also happened
to be the name of Bedford
hat model Jan Bird’s
canine companion.
Turns out Jan’s dog’s name
is actually Nancy Noodles.
Mystery solved.
E.Z. Misteak,
South End Halifax
Jan Bird
URBAN LEGEND?
Dear Frank:
re: Hotel Horror, Frank 581.
As any long-time hotel employee will tell you, guest room
suicides are not unheard of. A hotel can be a lonely place.
But I can’t help but point out that suicides have been particularly
prevalent at the Westin Nova Scotian over the last
few years. In fact, some staffers claim that the unfortunate
gentleman discovered asphyxiated in his room on March 9 is
the fifth suicide in five years, all of which have occurred on the
fifth floor.
Sure, it sounds eerily like the set-up for a macabre Stephen
King novel, but could it be true?
S. Kerry,
Halifax

FAX ANYTIME: (902) 423-0281
LETTERS
WEB: www.atlanticfrank.ca
PO BOX 295, HALIFAX, NS B3J 2N7
PATRICIA IN WONDERLAND
Dear Frank:
While your chronicles of Patricia MacCulloch provide comic relief,
they read like Alice in Wonderland.
According to your latest instalment (Frank 581), she divides her time
between her cottage in North West Cove and Fairview. Not an easy
task given that she does not hold a valid driver’s licence.
How does she manage to get to and fro her getaway if she cannot
get to a grocer or an apothecary (for her “care and food and medication”)
all of which are no doubt available in Fairview either on foot, or
by one of those “taxis.”
Also, am I wrong to believe that her years of litigating were to prove
that her late husband’s estate was not bankrupt? How does a bankrupt
estate pay for her “lengthy Caribbean sojourn”?
Furthermore, in previous articles she supposedly sold her principle
home of 30 years in Enfield. I lived in that house for two years. I have
signed letters from Ms. MacCulloch stating that she did not own the
house. Things just keep getting curiouser and curiouser.
As one of Will Shakespeare’s character was once overheard saying.
“Me thinks the woman doth protest too much.”
Wayne Garden,
Enfield
PATRICIA MACCULLOCH,
YOU’RE A CAB! YUK! YUK! YUK!
Dear Frank:
Thanks for the latest Widow MacCulloch update (Frank 581). Always
appreciated.
Love the drama queen. Someone call her a cab. Ha ha.
B. Grant-Paul,
Via Twitter
NASAL NAVEL-GAZING
Dear Frank:
If you could be so kind, please explain how
“thumping” one’s nose differs from the traditional
“thumbing” of the nose.
In A. Frank Grunt’s otherwise informative
piece on the resignation of Liberal MLA Dave
Wilson last time out, he uses both terms.
THERE’S NO LIFE LIKE IT
Dear Frank:
Re: the articles, “Premier Dexter’s wanderlust”
and “Darrell’s travelogue” (Frank
580).
If Darrell Dexter wants to see the world
at taxpayer’s expense, he should rejoin
the Navy.
I. Aye,
Sydney
WIND-BREAKING ISN’T
GROUND-BREAKING
Dear Frank:
I’m hardly a prude, but I found your piece on Darrell Dexter’s gas
pains (Frank 581) most distasteful.
Letty Rip,
City Of Flakes
I think it’s quite
fetching.
STILL HELPING
HIMSELF TO PROPERTY
Dear Frank:
For a guy who stamps “copyright”
on everything he touches —
including those Rocky Lake
Dome video updates beloved by
dozens of people worldwide
(Frank 579) — The Honourable
Len Goucher, E.C.N.S. seems to
safeguard other people’s intellectual
property about as carefully as
I wonder, is the act of “thumping” one’s nose
simply an angrier version of the old standby
“thumbing”? Perhaps there are varying degrees
of derision which one can display utilizing one’s
nose? If a nose can be thumbed and thumped,
can it also be threatened or throttled?
Please advise.
C. A. Honker,
Halifax
Was the COPYRIGHT
LEN GOUCHER tattoo
on my ass really necessary?
he spent our tax dollars.
A good portion of Len’s March 2
video update is filmed in front of a
green screen showing footage of
the gold medal ceremony for the
Canadian Olympic Men’s Hockey
Team, footage, which if I’m not mistaken,
is the property of CTV.
Oh, and the Calgary Flames’
superstar right-winger answers to
the name Jerome ih-GIHN-lah, not
ig-NAIL-ee-uh. Moron.
Rip Toff,
Bedford
AND THE BACKHANDED
COMPLIMENT OF THE WEEK
AWARD GOES TO...
Dear Frank:
Exceptional, great work. I totally tip my hat
to you. I bet you don’t hear that often.
Y. Thanks,
Halifax
APRIL 13, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 31

Hello, hello, Frankie,
I picked up your magazine,
Last Tuesday at the corner store,
Funniest thing I’ve seen
Wha-wha-what did you say?
That I should buy a sub,
I’d save myself forty percent
Then spend it at the pub
G-Gotta get a sub,
G-Gotta get a sub,
I’ll save myself forty percent, if I just buy a sub
I’m callin’, I’m callin’,
I’m not gonna wait anymore,
I got my VISA in my hand, cuz I’m cash poor
I’m callin’, I’m callin’,
Gonna get Frank Mag in the mail,
Gave ‘em my address, now I’ll get it without fail
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh,
I’m telephonin’
Frankie, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
I’m callin’
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh,
I’m telephonin’
Frankie, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
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