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TWEETS OF THE WEEK Follow Frank on Twitter at www.twitter.com/Atlantic_Frank. Because you never know when Frank may be watching. Well-known M Home toiler Matt Pelley reportedly moving to Toronto. (Tweeted March 26) Ex-Lib MLA Richie Mann’s greeting to A. Frank Grunt earlier today: “How are you doing ... you old gd C U Next Tuesday?” (Tweeted March 25) Word has it Sandy Getta, formerly of Winchester’s fame, is back (in town) after a period of time in Florida. (Tweeted March 25) Political twits & tweets: The N.S. Legislature is now on Twitter — @NSLeg (Tweeted March 24) Petty crime of the week (via @KingsNSNews): A New Minas business reported a button and clasp were stolen off an article of used clothing. (Tweeted March 24) For all the preventative maintenance the Purdy’s Landing down escalator requires, why not just install a friggin’ slide? (Tweeted March 24) Clearwater cofounder John Risley has replaced J.D. Irving Limited exec John F. Irving as chairman of the board at the Atlantic Institute for Market Studies, the Halifax-based think thank. “John Risley is such a vi- sionary,” says the Bridgewater Bulletin, John Risley quoting AIMS president & CEO Charles Cirtwill. (Tweeted March 23) TWITTER RETWEET OF THE WEEK 2 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK APRIL 13, 2010 A cop car on the Macdonald Bridge needs to turn on its daytime running lights. (Illegally tweeted March 23 while driving on the Macdonald Bridge) Wow! Is it just me, or has the MLA expense scandal taken a serious physical toll on PC leaderine Karen Casey? (Tweeted March 23) Well, that stinks! Barb “The Nose” Stegemann (Frank 581) has blocked me Karen Casey from following her @the7virtues tweets! I’d be offended if I cared. (Tweeted March 23) Halifax-based Aliant gal & ex-Fusion czarina Alyson Queen has earned the Accredited Public Relations (APR) designation, the highest in the land. Alyson is a Saint John, N.B., gal and a graduate of Mount Allison U. (Tweeted March 23) Lawyer Cameron MacKeen spotted sheepishly buying a copy of The Enquirer @ Scotia Square earlier today. (Tweeted March 23) “Mike Duffy is a recurring challenge. Flares up, creates trouble, goes away. The Senate’s herpes if you will.” — March 19, 2010, via @krisp131 a.k.a. Krista Spurr Alyson Queen “22 Minutes” star Gavin Crawford, Halifax MP Megan Leslie, former HRM councillor Krista Snow, interior consultant Jonathan Legate, Assante financial dude Darren Dick, lawyers Catherine Watson & Kevin Kindred, and federal Liberal candidate Stan Kutcher among those photographed @ Saturday’s Fancy Gay Dress Ball (Tweeted March 22). We surpassed the 700 followers mark today. Do that many people really care what I have to say or are they worried I may say it about them? (Tweeted March 17). BT host Jayson Baxter spotted @ the Chickenburger — all alone. March 16) (Tweeted Realtor Steve Patterson @ Q (restaurant on Argyle). (Tweeted March 15) Old news, but news to me: Ex-CTV gal Anne Drewa (Frank 410) now @ Global. (Tweeted March 15) WTF? moment du jour? Who knew the Herald had a “comics Jayson Baxter editor” [Paul O ‘Connell]? (Tweeted March 15) Anne Drewa
ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK HALIFAX, NOVA SCOTIA ISSUE 582 APRIL 13, 2010 There is a House on Hollis Street It’s filled with a group of bums And it’s been the ruin of many a MLA And, God, there’s more to come Our Premier was a sailor He loved those submarines My ex-MLA was a radio man But never a man of means Now the only thing a MLA needs Is a suitcase and a trunk And the only time he’s satisfied Is sitting in Dartmouth, drunk Oh, mothers tell your children What your MLAs have done If they ask who the good ones are You can tell them “virtually none” You can tell them “virtually none” The chickens are all home to roost We know it’s all but a game Don’t give in, don’t lend a hand Let them live in their shame Let them live in their shame Well, there is a House on Hollis Street Where greed lays deep in the genes Where you can take, and take, and take, and take It’s the same ol’ MLA routine It’s the same ol’ MLA routine And if one should ever come to you Asking for your vote You can either kick the thing in the arse Or grab it by the throat Either kick the thing in the arse Or grab it by the throat... — A. Frank Grunt & The Frankland Animals Atlantic Canada Frank is a magazine of news, satire, opinion, comment and humour published every two weeks by Coltsfoot Publishing Co. Ltd. Copyright Coltsfoot Publishing Ltd. Mailing address: Frank Magazine, P.O. Box 295, Halifax, B3J 2N7. Subscriptions: see back page. Publications Mail Agreement No. 40050490; P.A.P. No. 8158. Phone: 420-1668. Fax: 423-0281. E-mail: atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca. Toll-free Tips Hotline: 1-888-335-5505. Frank acknowledges the financial support of the Government of Canada through the Publications Assistance Program (PAP) towards our mailing costs. Letters, see Pages 30, 31. ALISON’S CARBON FOOTPRINT BY E. MISSIONS THOUGH PROVINCIAL TAXPAYERS ARE NO LONGER PICKING UP SENIOR MANDARIAN ALISON SCOTT’S TRAVEL TAB, WE ARE NOW PAYING HER FEDERAL SOJOURNS, WHICH I FEAR LOOKS WORSE. A chronic regular on my N.S. silly servant expense hog lists (Frank 570, 524), Alison was our deputy minister of Energy before she accepted a secondment to the feds last August. In only 2.5 months, from September 8 to November 20, our gal managed to rack up an impressive $32,245 in travel costs. Now special adviser to Environment Canada’s deputy minister for provincial climate change negotiations (what dat? — ed.), Halifax-based Alison must endure frequent jaunts to Ottawa, and so far each of her six hops Daisy-fresh florist Neville and a rose by some other name. BY LOUIE VUITTON has cost taxpayers about $1,600 on average. Her three costliest excursions were: a fiveday sojourn to Canada’s hot air capitals, Calgary and Toronto ($5,997); a three-day whirlwind climate change gabfest in Fredericton, Charlottetown and St. John’s ($5,474); and three days of chewing the fat in Edmonton and Regina ($5,317). While Alison is covering more ground than El Nino, N.S. Energy Dept. spokesthingy Matt Lumley tells me she is technically considered still on secondment with the rudderless Darrell Dexter government. Long-time Tory-blue backroom corporate strategist Murray Coolican was recently tapped to fill Alison’s shoes as N.S. Energy deputy minnie. Does Frank Know? atlanticfrank@eastlink.ca A HALI-FABULOUS ARRIVAL MY MOTHER MAY HAVE TAUGHT ME, AT V. EARLY AGE, I SHOULD NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER, BUT I CAN’T RECALL HER EVER ADVISING ME TO AVOID FORMING OPINIONS ABOUT PEOPLE BASED ON THEIR TASTE IN LUGGAGE. So when a zebra-print suitcase with hot pink piping passed by me on the Air Canada baggage carousel at Toronto’s Pearson Airport two weeks ago, I couldn’t help but wonder which Upper Canadian “cougar” would rush over any minute to claim it. Well, imagine my surprise when the owner of said flamboyant roll-on turned out NOT to be some middle-aged, tree trunk-faced Ontario femme fatale, but rather Halifamous petal-pusher Neville “My Mother’s Bloomers” MacKay, in town for this year’s Canada Blooms flower show. APRIL 13, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 3
Page 1: South End divorce’s new mystery b
Page 5 and 6: WHY PASTOR ELAINE HAS LEFT THE IWK
Page 7 and 8: INDIAN NEWS FOR INDIAN VOTERS BY CH
Page 9 and 10: BY SAM ANTICS LIKE A GOOD MANY OF U
Page 11 and 12: MYRA’S MOMENTARY LAPSE IN PROTOCO
Page 13 and 14: WHY ‘BABY JESSICA’ NEEDED A SMA
Page 15 and 16: NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS FOR NOT-SO-FAT
Page 17 and 18: ARMOYAN DIVORCE: FIVE MONTHS OF DRA
Page 19 and 20: CLOAK AND DAGGER IN WOLFVILLE BY WA
Page 21 and 22: EVERYONE’S AN IRISHMAN ON MARCH 1
Page 23 and 24: ZINCK, FROM PAGE 14 In response, th
Page 25 and 26: ARTISTS KNOCKED OFF THEIR PEDESTALS
Page 27 and 28: BY BILLY BOB MCWILLIAMS EVERY WEEK
Page 29 and 30: AND THERE’S RAMONA DOING THE CHAR
Page 31 and 32:
FAX ANYTIME: (902) 423-0281 LETTERS
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