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BY SAM ANTICS
LIKE A GOOD MANY OF US, SHAMELESS
SELF-PROMOTER BARB STEGEMANN
NEEDS TO GET OFF THE INTERNET BEFORE
IT MAKES HER STUPID. SPECIFICALLY, BARB
NEEDS TO STOP CONSULTING WIKIPEDIA
AND BRUSH UP ON HER GANDHI
SCHOLARSHIP.
Authoress of the self-help tome The 7 Virtues
of a Philosopher Queen, Barb has lately
tossed around Gandhi’s name as she peddles
her new bottled odour, The 7 Virtues Afghanistan
Orange Blossom eau de parfum, and a
March 2 Metro national article explains she
was “delighted to discover that “Gandhi”
means “seller of perfume.” Mohandas
Ghandi is one of her personal heroes.”
It seems a linguistically sensitive Barb has
taken umbrage with my Frank 581 breaking
newsflash on the origins of Gandhi: not “perfume
seller,” but “grocer,” a fact I’m sure Barb
will realize once she opens her first 7 Eleven
store.
Here is Barb’s March 22 tweet on Twitter:
“Gandhi, surname means “seller of perfume”
— wikipedia. Mills sold out — but not to worry,
we have restocked The 7 Virtues Afghanistan
Orange Blossom Eau de Parfum.”
In full-on slapdown mode, Barb even supplies
a link to the online encyclopedia, which
reads: “Gandhi is an Indian family name,
Barb Stegemann
meaning a seller of perfumes.” The citation is
an untranslated Hindi passage, purportedly
from the 15thC Indian mystic Kabir, considered
one of India’s greatest poets.
Incidentally, when you type in “Wikipedia:
Credibility” in Wikipedia, it says, “Credibility
is one of Wikipedia’s goals which it has strug-
Buy Barb’s
perfume!
BARB & HER FAVOURITE GROCER
gled to attain, although in its first four years,
it has only had partial success.[citation
needed].” Everybody got that?
Barb’s tweet, juxtaposing her sold-out perfume
at Mills Brothers with a man whose idea
of a simple life resulted in his entire earthly
possessions at death fitting inside two shoe
boxes, is just too funny for words.
Not since the public relations disaster of
Steve Jobs using Gandhi billboards to sell
his Apple computers have I seen such bunk.
But I smell more Eau de BS here.
If Gandhi really is one of Barb’s personal
heroes, she would know that most Gandhi
scholars agree the Mahatma’s family name
more closely signifies a victualler, than one
who hawks scented products to mask BO.
In his annotated notes in the book Essential
Gandhi, editor Louis Fischer, who wrote
the then-definitive biography that inspired Richard
Attenborough’s Oscar-winning 1982
film, states: “Gandhi means grocer.”
And the first line of Gandhi’s 1927 Autobiography?
“The Gandhis belong to the Bania
caste and seem to have been originally grocers.”
OK, who are we going to believe here? One
of the world’s great Gandhi scholars, even if
Fischer was a Commie, or Barb’s link to a
Wiki page? Think about that for a second.
But wait, it gets funnier. Ready for this?
CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE
APRIL 13, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK 9