Taifas Literary Magazine No. 12, June, 2021

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Taifas Literary Magazine, No. 12, June, 2021
almost started to torment both body and soul,
there was a period of those deep, real kisses
that touched the palate and made me wonder
whether her absorption into me excelled my
penetration into her. Choking, yes, it was
similar to choking. And I never stopped
screaming with excitement in my head and
checking whether our lips were warmer and
wetter than the thing I was looking for with my
hand under my navel.
“It’s sharp five now. So the alarm would
sound in an hour. I’m afraid I’m going to have
a crazy day and that I’m
going to fall asleep at
work again”, she said.
“It’s only five. So we
still have a lot of time.
Besides, this is one of the
first days in May. We still
have an afternoon for
Zemun and a walk by the
river. We won’t be able to
do this in front of the
passersby. Do not complain. There’s no reason
for it. Please.”
The white nights of St. Petersburg
experienced in an apartment, the white bed
sheets instead of street lamps, the feelings
riveted in the senses of two bodies and the
simultaneous invocation of God or the devil,
resembled a double stake in poker. In the
moments of complete madness, I started to
remind her how good we felt, by drawing her
attention to the looks of the passersby
directed at us or even by taking the lyrics I
wrote to her and reading them aloud over and
over again, only to leave them on the night
table beside my headboard. The feeling of
constant love hunger engulfed us like a furious
wind that whooshed, pulled, tore us apart and
threw us at each other in such a way that we
were unable to breathe. The dreadful,
indecipherably deep chasm we used to drag
along with us was almost filled. I saw her
tremble and I just said, “You’re eager.” I saw
her crying and losing the ground beneath her
feet the moment I mentioned that it was too
late for one thing. It was too late to have kids.
Upon hearing this, she
opened her mouth, as a
silent expression of pain,
and a tear streamed down
her cheek as she moaned
heartbroken with the
thought of her offspring
being irretrievably lost,
while her eyes gave out an
expression of such a deep
sorrow that it seemed as
if someone had started to tear her hand off. At
the time when it seemed the world’s end was
approaching she smiled at me in a manner she
did twenty years ago – there she was,
unbreakable and loyal, repeating my name
until she became overwhelmed with
happiness and laughter, increasingly adamant
to receive this summer’s gifts and flourishing
nights.
Although she fearfully climbed the steps
of my soul every day, as if facing execution by
shooting or waiting to be crowned, Anna
decided to give it a try, to believe, to give our
ISSN 2458-0198 - ISSN-L 2458-0198
TAIFAS LITERARY MAGAZINE