Articles Book I - Pg 66-180 (1977) - triadoption

N&W YOUR RlQMS
nrstlrvrdlrnm VaRIJS
+llc siglling of 11 iqlar illny Iln\,c IIIIIIII of C~II~PIII~~I~ is IIIII~~II~ :l~c! IIII~!II !
n,,!)ifilal lltly Iegtll rvs~l~ll~i~li~~tie~.
IJllt rc.ct~rds IIOI r~~tr~~~~ctitc: u.11iei1 of CI~SI!
that act cnnnnt n1111ify 111). fcsellllb!s.
~l~~ scilrc~~ for origirls ~rr~lr~lly l~cgins
in a~l,~esecll~c, wllr~~ arty cl~ild tries
~!xcl~~cl~~s III~ d~~~rgi~ter IIII~ III,!. SII~,II 18
lllw wolllcl Ill! rlcnrly ucllcll!lllic, sillcc! tl1c
IIIIIII~II:~ of ~II~IIII~ ~IIIII~IIIIJIIS 1181s 50
n*al,lidl 1111 id~llllt!. of 11~1 lJ\"1I. 1' is dr1111111tic11lly cir0~1~1r!0 111 r t ycsllrs
cr,mmtl~l frlr rnsny sdolc~~t!flts 111 I~VCIIIIS~!
111 the 11111 111111 C~IIIII~~II~ innres.
inagi~le tllut tl~cy II~P UCI~II)~~~~ - lllelr 'I'III! c,lllllllissloll llllcl 011Iy OIIU
rral l)nrc~ll~~ 11rc certuit~ly tllnre exotic or
C~IIC-SI~IIII I tnc: If tl~orc cmisls crllc
,,.onderhll ~IIIIII those rrltller orcllrrnrl' t~i~lllr~~l 111nt11c-r U~IIJ ~IO~SII'I \\'IIII~ to
pple in tile Ilo~nc - 11111 for fl~osl. k1111w 11c.r cl~lld, clots tllill ~llcrtl~er 1111vt. 11
i:lurion is replnccd by rcllllty.
rigI1t to llllllllylllit~?
ncseurcl~ers oftcn flrltl tI111t tile Yo11 ure tnlking 11111nlt IIII infinilcsiadoptce
is rcluctnl~t to shure llcr 111111 Ilere~nlllge, 1 i11slllle1l.
qu15tlns \\!it11 l~cr purel~ls: will lllcy 1$11t if sllc exists - 111x11 ollc pcrsclll
tilink I r~j~cting tll~m, ~IIL. wllo !r~~lrts ller [~rl\~rlcy - deles slla illl\Y!
adolesccr~~ ~vnnders, rind. if tllnl is tllc n rig111 to it?
cnsc, \\.ill tlley tllen reiect ~ne? hllcl So Silc~~cc slfteil tl~ro~~gli the I1c.uri11g
or sllc wuits for tile ndr~plivc ilurellts 10 rcnlnt.
,jjxuss tile nluttcr: tlrv urlo~~tlve llurcnts, I. I snid. Not wllcr~ l~rr rlxllts
oftell ileset wit11 tl~cir oufn fenrs tllnt ir~fril~ge 11pon ll~c rlgl~ls of ullolller
\\.ill "lose" tlleir child, llsllnlly group. And rcrr~c~~~bcr t i : u~l~en I
prefer to believe tllut the clrlld's silence signccl tl~nt i11111er - for \vhnlcvcr
means disinterest.
reuson, llrlder wl~utevcr pressure - I
psyc~lolog~s~s who work \\'it11 ndoptcd IIII~ the option ctf rnnking a cl~oice. An
children believe otllerwisc. "We must ndoptcd pera~~l tlnes nnt: sl~e wns never
uulne tl~ut every ndopted cl~ild is ill
~lskecl \vl~nt IVIS 111 her best inlewsl.
She ulld I sit across n tnblc: nt tile
search of finding the real mother," says
Dr. Zelllg Ducl~, n scl~~rol psycl~ologist in
tllc New York nrcn. "I wnnld ql~cstion
sommlle who u*nsn't e~lriolls. Tllerc nre
feu* ll~lngs in tl~i world tllnt are not
interchungenble, nnd tills is one of tllcn~.
Every IIII~UII being 1111s 11 n~otller and 11
fulhcr. UII~ it Is natural to wnnt to know
who tbcp urc."
hly Friend
Ilns Bwn Scnrcblny
Por Five Ycnrs
As fur us one can deterrnitle, o~~ly ir~
Fil~lund nre ndolescenls nblc to recelvc
inff~rn~ullon uboot tl~clr arlglns, ever1
includitlg hlc nume of tl~e rnutllcr und
father. Tl~r rnuin udoplion ngur~cy tl~ere,
H.IIICII pluces fc\ver 01ui1 300 cl~lldren n
?cur. provide% ndoptecs nf nny uge wit11
binlofiicul ~rurents. Often. Ole ndoptive
parent visits llle ugcncy \v1tl1 llle cl~lld.
The long-tirne dircctor of thc njiency
repclrts tllnl tile service S~TIS to lluve
been of infinite benefit to tile users
\r.itho~rt du~nnge to the otllcr pnrtjes
in\*ol\*ed - tllc udoptive puretlts urld tllc
nutlrrul j~urents.
Tile oft-lleurd ur~~~n~ent for keellillp
the rcvnrds seulcd is tl~ut tile lll~lurul
mntller 1111s n rig111 111 prl\,ucy. t1111t sllc
docs not \vnnl ller life disr111,tcd Ily II
cl~lld slle's fi~rgotte~~.
I'\'c si~nkel~ to rrrnyl~e fifty
wllen I \\,;is five. YOI llenr 111111 you lire
IIII~I~~I~
mntllerri. I've never Inel ol~c \~llo sl~i~l
ndoptcd, UII~ your first ~II~SII