VALUABLE LESSONS - Nicholls + Vickers

Valuable Lessons 141
You, sir?
Hitler.
WILLIE
OTIS
On a particularly bad day, Drexell calls the father of a troublemaking student
in to school, only to learn that the dad works at a local racetrack and knows
of a wink wink sure thing in tomorrow’s last race. Drexell places a big bet
and proceeds to systematically trash everyone and everything at the school,
while running back and forth between home and class to pack, and following
the race on the TV and radio. Of course after he’s called the Principal an
“inflexible, barren, potato-shaped sack of malice” the winning horse
stumbles on the track.
(OTIS PICKS UP THE TV AND SHAKES IT, TRYING TO GET THE JOCKEY
BACK ON THE HORSE)
OTIS
Get up! GET UP!
TRACK ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
The jockey may have broken his
leg.
OTIS
What does he need his leg for,
he's got a horse! Get back on,
you hormone-deficient coward!
TRACK ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
The horse doesn't appear too badly
hurt... they won't have to shoot
him.
OTIS
Shoot him! Shoot him anyway!
Then shoot the jockey! Then shoot
me!
Drexell faints dead away, and the smart, cute fifth grader he’s entrapped into
doing his bidding all day with the promise of a better teacher after he’s gone
and a share of the winnings is left looking down at his miserable body on the
staff room floor as the other teachers rush in.