May-June 2011 - The Journey

A year later
Costa Rica was majestic but just an escape. One day I
stood on the beach, early in the morning, long before anyone
woke up and began sobbing uncontrollably. I realized that the
whole time I had been on these beaches with hot Costa Rican
men was just a rich way to take me out of waking up.
One day an internal voice spoke, and it said something
like: “Dude, you have some serious work to do. Go home.”
So I went home. And not just home to the town that I lived in
before. No, I am talking home like the source of all the problems
in the first place. I moved back in with my parents.
And in renunciation I start to feel full
of forgiveness. I forgive my mom, my
dad, my sister. I forgive boyfriends
No. 1, 2 and 3 for not living up to my
expectations. I forgive myself. I start
to feel strong.
And here is where the real search begins. This is where I
learn to be patient. This is where I learn that people are different
and that it’s OK. This is where I learn from other people’s
mistakes and habits and patterns. This is where I learn what
I don’t want to be. I learn how to be better. How to mind my
business. How to respect.
I learn to see all the things beyond what my basic lens
“You can feel the energy
of the land; it moves
you. There’s no place
like it!”
– Festival Participant
T h e Jo u r n e y
BRUSHWOOD SUMMERFEST
“Celebrate the Creative Spirit”
July 18-24
perceives. I learn to stay open. This is where I learn to love
unconditionally. I learn that every time a conflict comes up,
it’s just so I can learn to love regardless – relentlessly, wholeheartedly.
I see we all have our luggage (or for some of us cargo
trucks) full of stuff that we carry with us. Things we don’t
want. Things we don’t need but yet we still hold on like it’s
our ticket home. This is where I learn to let go. And in letting
go this is where I find freedom. And in finding freedom this is
where I find a true home.
Three years later
I begin to watch humility come to me just by giving up
on my own thought of what everything should look like. And
in renunciation I start to feel full of forgiveness. I forgive my
mom, my dad, my sister. I forgive boyfriends No. 1, 2 and 3
for not living up to my expectations. I forgive myself. I start
to feel strong.
My container feels primal. I do a lot of yoga. I breathe
deep. I get bigger than any small, puny problem. I tattoo “Love
Thyself” on my wrist as a reminder to never forget where I’ve
come from. And I continue to search, to open and to commit
every single day of my life.
The second we give up the search is the exact moment
that life lives us rather than us living life. So we keep our eyes,
arms and hearts open, in tune and attuned with the search for
something that we already had in us all along: peace.
No regrets; just the knowing that if I had to trash my boyfriend’s
room when I was 24 just to find a little bit of peace,
then so be it. I wouldn’t take any of it back. It’s all part of the
journey.
sanctuary for the open mind
Come Enjoy 2 Weeks Of Festivals During July 2011!
Promoting creativity and spiritual growth in a community setting
SIRIUS RISING
“Home Is Where the Spirit Is”
July 11-17
Longest event of its kind in the USA
Presenters/Performers: Janet Farrar, Gavin Bone,
Diana Paxson, Waterband, The Mickey’s,
Peter Janson, Telling Point, Kellianna, Kenny Klein,
Dragon Ritual Drummers & Many More
Over 100 Workshops: Mind-Body-Soul, Art,
Drumming, Dancing, Sacred Fires, Kids' Programs
Enjoy: Labyrinth, Hot Showers, Hiking Trails,
Pool & Hot Tub.
Prices: $130 Each Week (7 days/6 nights)
$50 Weekend Only (Fri – Sun)
Go to www.Brushwood.com or call 716-761-6750 for campground information and more details.
Ma y • Ju n e 2011 Pa g e 15
LLC