here - Health Promotion Agency

Feelings and relationships
WORRYING ABOUT ABNORMALITY
Everyone worries at some time that
there may be something wrong with
their baby. Some people find that
talking openly about their fears helps
them to cope. Others prefer not to
dwell on the possibility of something
being wrong.
Some women continue to worry
because they are convinced that, if
something does go wrong, it will be
their fault. While you can increase
your baby’s chances of being born
healthy by following the advice
outlined in Chapter 1 (see pages
8–20), you cannot cut out the risk
entirely. There are certain problems
which cannot be prevented, either
because the causes are not known
or because they are beyond anyone’s
control.
It may reassure you to know that
97% of babies born in the UK are
normal, although some of these
may have birthmarks or some other
small variations. A further 1% of
babies will be born with
abnormalities that can be partly or
completely corrected. About 2%,
however, will suffer from some more
severe disability. Regular antenatal
care and careful observation during
labour help so that action can be
taken if necessary.
If you are particularly concerned,
perhaps because someone in your
family has a disability, or because
someone you know has had a
difficult birth, or even if you just
feel very anxious, talk to your doctor
or midwife as soon as possible.
They may be able to reassure you or
offer you helpful information about
tests which can be done in
pregnancy (see pages 53–9).
‘I want to know if it’s all
right. I think that’s
always at the back of
your mind – you
don’t know whether
it’s all right. It’s a worry
that’s always there.’
‘I feel guilty at times.
It’s not just worrying
about what you do and
whether it will damage
the baby. Sometimes I
feel I just haven’t
thought about the
baby, cared about it
enough. I ought to
be loving it more.’
C OUPLES
Pregnancy is bound to bring about
some quite big changes in a couple’s
relationship, especially if this is your
first baby. For some people these
changes happen easily, others find it
harder to change. Everybody is
different.
It’s quite common for couples to
find themselves having arguments
every now and then during
pregnancy, however much they are
looking forward to the baby. Some
of these may be nothing to do with
the pregnancy, but others may be
caused by one or other partner
feeling worried about the future and
how they are going to cope. Perhaps
the most important thing to realise
is that during pregnancy there are
‘You hear such a lot
and read such a lot in
the newspapers about
spina bifida and
backward children and
all that. You can’t
help but wonder
about your own.’
‘Now that I’ve felt
it move and I’ve
heard the heartbeat,
I feel happier. Early
on we worried
much more.’
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