WJEC ENGLISH LITERATURE

Principal Moderator’s Comments
Creative Writing Response: The Last Tube Train
AO1 The creative response is generally accurate and clear. It follows a drunken Polish
immigrant attempting to find the correct platform in order to catch the last tube train of the
evening only to be accosted by a gang of youths by whom he is badly beaten and left. The
use of description creates some sense of character and his situation through phrases such
as ‘sluggishly drunk’ and the use of setting, the station ‘seemed like a labyrinth’. The use of
language creates fairly convincingly Jan’s ‘lostness’ in the early part of the story. Moreover,
a sense of waste and disappointment is revealed through the use of backstory and the
innocence of the protagonist. Much of the piece is rather clichéd, such as the xenophobic
boss, the gang in their ‘sinister black hoods’ and the way that they lean in a ‘nonchalant yet
menacing way’. The backstory of Jan’s hopes could have been implied rather than
explained. It is a shaped response and clearly structured without being particularly ambitious
while some of the areas discussed in the commentary aren’t clear enough for the reader, as
with the jazz music for example. This seems a rather strained attempt to use the stimulus
text. Generally, however, it is an appropriate creative response to ‘The Great Gatsby’. There
could have been some change of pace and tension created with the threat of the youths as
the narrative tends to meander on to the end of the story. Band 3 13/20
Commentary
AO2 The candidate is clearly aware of how language creates meaning and has some
detailed discussion of this aspect in the third paragraph of the commentary. At times, too
much is intended by some of the choices the writer has made, particularly in the use of the
stimulus. The idea of the ‘swimming mind’ doesn’t seem to tie very clearly to the fact that Jan
is floating through life. However, the consideration of ‘sluggishly’, ‘blurring’and ‘slow’ is clear
and effective along with the use of the word ‘labyrinth’ to create the sense of being lost.
There is some sense of form and structure through the use of flashback in order to create
character and theme and the attempt to lead the reader towards a sense of pity for Jan.
There is also a sense of how setting can be used in order to create meaning. The focus is
clearly on the student’s own writing but the space given to the stimulus text is unfortunately
foregrounded in the second paragraph. This commentary has a clear grasp of the writer’s
use of language, some sense of structure and form and how they create meaning. Band 3
AO4 There are some appropriate links between text and contexts and a good understanding
of the significance of contextual factors. The stimulus text is used thoughtfully here with the
use of the difference between reality and dreams and the use of the flashback. The context
of the setting is also deliberately constructed to symbolise the character’s own life while the
awareness of the flip side of twenties America is interesting as is the idea of prosperity and
poverty. There does seem to be here though a rather tenuous link with the stimulus as the
candidate seems more interested in some of the ideas not presented in the ‘The Great
Gatsby’ so that the use of the stimulus, at times, seems to be an ‘add-on’. This is
emphasised in the ‘intolerance towards foreigners in 1920’s America’ which is a
questionable use of context. However, there is a clear sense of their own context in the use
of immigrant workers and the gang of youths along with the context of the stimulus text
through the roaring twenties and the jazz music. Band 3
Mark for commentary 14/20
Final Mark 27/40 Band 3
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