Because I am a Girl - Plan USA

Chopping
firewood in
Rwanda.
3 “Following his path” – the
importance of fathers
“I talk to my daughters about their studies
and about who they are involved with.
Nowadays, parents are more affectionate
than before... they care more about the
children. We [fathers] didn’t use to talk a
lot, we only used to work.”
Father in Brazil, from focus groups for Plan
research 24
Parenting
Plan research shows that 97 per cent of children in the UK say ‘parents must take equal responsibility for
their children’. In Rwanda 32 per cent of participants agree, while in India this figure drops to 24 per cent.
These findings indicate that in the UK fathers and mothers do distribute responsibility more equally and
the notion of rigid divisions of household roles are breaking down.
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Totally agree Partially agree Disagree
“It is wrong when the father doesn’t want
the daughters to study, because this will
not do them any good. The father will just
isolate them from the world, and they will
not be able to see its many faces.”
Young man, brother of one of the Plan
cohort girls in Brazil 25
A l f B e r g
As we will see in the next chapter, these
ideas held by girls about their intelligence will
determine what they choose to study and
what not to study.
These views of girls’ strength compared
with boys’ are not based on fact. As
Tanushree Soni, Plan’s Regional Gender
Program Specialist in Asia, points out, in
India there is a mismatch between perception
and reality. “Although traditionally girls
are perceived as only contributing to
non-manual household chores, they are
often responsible for extremely physical
duties such as tending cattle or collecting
firewood.” 21
It is not surprising then that many
boys develop a belief that they are more
important than girls – and that girls
internalise this too. 22 The belief that boys
come first will underpin gender relations and
impede equality for their rest of their lives.
And it has a downside for boys too – it could
be argued that because they are allowed to
do what they like, they fail to learn about
responsibility 23 and they may put themselves
more at risk of injury or accident. We will be
examining how this might impact on boys
once they get to school in the next chapter.
A l f B e r g
A father’s role is crucially important when
it comes to engaging men and boys to
achieve gender equality. How he treats his
wife and daughters will limit or enhance
their potential and choices in life. But it will
make a difference to his sons too. Because
the family is where we learn how to be male
and female, a father who does his fair share
of domestic work, who values and educates
his children equally, who cuddles his sons
and daughters and treats his wife as an
equal will have a powerful impact on how
his son grows to be a man and treats his
own family.
Being an involved and responsive father
is good for both fathers and their children.
Family life in
Nepal.
Research has shown that men who are
positively engaged in the lives of their
children or stepchildren are less likely to
be depressed, to commit suicide or to be
violent. 26
They are more likely to be involved in
community work, to be supportive of their
partners, and to be involved in school
activities. 27 Research also shows that boys
with more involved fathers are less likely
to take part in risky sexual behaviour 28 and
are more likely to start having sex at a later
age. 29 Boys who grow up around positive
male role models are more likely to question
gender inequities and harmful stereotypes,
says the United Nations Population Fund
(UNFPA). 30 A study of American, Australian,
Colombian, Indian, Palestinian and South
African 14 year olds found that adolescents
who are well connected with their parents –
who feel understood, are cared for and get
along with their parents – have more social
initiative, fewer thoughts about suicide and
less depression. 31
For many young men and boys, this role
may be played not by the biological father,
but another man who plays a mentoring
or fathering role. This might be an uncle,
brother, grandfather, stepfather, faith
leader, community leader, teacher or coach.
As Joao, aged 19, from Rio Janeiro, said:
“I look to my uncle. He’s an engineer,
a carpenter, does almost everything.
He’s never out of work. At home, he has
the function of doing everything. He’s
always taking care of things, accepting
responsibilities, and he always makes sure
that nothing is lacking at home.” 32
Supportive male relatives have a big role
to play in protecting girls – for example, from
early marriage or female genital mutilation.
In Sudan, for example, Plan carried out
awareness sessions on the negative impact
of traditional harmful practices such as
child marriage. Community and religious
leaders, teachers, parents, children and
government officials were all involved. They
held workshops, debates, discussions and
open days using songs, drama, posters and
video. Ahmed, aged 16, says: “The key
factor that can determine the eradication of
traditional practices such as early marriage
is the change of attitude and behaviour of
people who practise them. It is essential
36 the s tate of the world’s girls 37