MW_Secret_files/Erotic Dreams.pdf - Medwords.com.au

PRACTICE TALES
What Wheels?
My surgery is situated in a commercial centre that houses a group dental practice,
chemist, physio, specialist practice, x-ray and a music school (to add a touch of
class) as well as the five GPs in my practice. It is a modern, practical and attractive
centre, well situated on a main road intersection, with good access and adequate
parking, both in the open air and in a large underground car park.
While consulting, my phone rang.
“Doctor, someone’s trying to steal your car!”.
A call like that is pretty much guaranteed to move you swiftly out of the presence
of the patient into the immediate vicinity of your car, which was parked in the cool
underground.
I was stopped en route by encountering a well known, young, fit, male patient in
the waiting room, who was holding a similar aged but smaller man in a very firm head
lock in front of a significant number of open mouthed patients.
“G’day doc, will we go outside to discuss this bastard in private?”
I followed the head locker and his head lockee (don’t you just love appropriate
neologisms!) out onto the wide verandah that fronts the centre.
“This guy’s ripped the wheels off your car”.
I still don’t think I had said anything, but sprinted down the stairs to find my car
jacked up on one side, resting on the wheel hubs on the other side. Three wheels
were missing and the remaining one was partly undone. I returned upstairs.
The head lockee spoke - “He’s strangling me! Let me go!” (or words to that effect
- the actual words would only appear in print in the deepest of underground
publications).
“He’s fine doc, I know just how hard to hold bastards like this.”
“Where are my wheels?”
The head lock tightened up a notch, and a strangled cry came from the throat of
the thief along with the words “Behind the building”.
I went downstairs again, and hidden in the garden I found three mag wheels and
the lock nuts. So far no great loss. I returned upstairs again, and heard the rest of
the story.
My patient friend (this will deserve at least one free consultation for him!) had
been parking downstairs to attend the physio when he noticed my car at a peculiar
angle. On his way upstairs he passed the chemist, and commented to him that there
was something funny going on with a car in the car park. The chemist raced down his
back stairs, while the patient walked back down the public stairs to see what was
going on. The chemist saw two villains crouching beside my car, and he shouted at
them, at which point they ran off in different directions. The patient, seeing what had
happened, collared one of the villains, and dragged him up to my surgery.
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