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MLK PARADE - Deputy Sheriffs' Association of San Diego County

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station reports<br />

Who Are Those Guys<br />

(Rural Enforcement never sleeps!) by Matt McClendon<br />

Isn’t it true that we all want that one chance to<br />

kick a door in. I mean just blast it wide open. We<br />

grew up watching the tough guys on TV and in<br />

the movies do that all the time, right<br />

<strong>Deputy</strong> Edwards, would<br />

you please kick my door in<br />

Ken "Warning Shot" Edwards got a call <strong>of</strong> a<br />

possible 459 at a detached garage in Pine Valley.<br />

Mr. Homeowner told Ken he thought there were<br />

"undocumented immigrants" in his garage. So<br />

he called the S.O. instead <strong>of</strong> the Border Patrol,<br />

but that's just the way it goes out here. The Op<br />

Stonegarden units were nearby, so we had five<br />

nice deputies on scene.<br />

Now, don't try to make any sense out <strong>of</strong> any <strong>of</strong><br />

this, because you can't. Mr. Homeowner didn't<br />

have a key to the door. Okay, not a big deal.<br />

We shone our flashlights into the garage and<br />

can tell there's no one inside. Mr. Homeowner<br />

insisted on climbing through the window to<br />

make certain. Fine. He got in and sure enough,<br />

there's still no one inside the garage. He tried to<br />

open the door from inside. No luck, but then he<br />

tells us he can't climb back out the way he just<br />

climbed in. Okay. We don't get it, but okay.<br />

Then Mr. Homeowner said the magic words,<br />

"<strong>Deputy</strong> Edwards, would you please kick my<br />

door in"<br />

Ladies and Gentlemen, you don't have to ask<br />

Ken Edwards twice. Boom! One swift kick<br />

and the door blasted open. Great technique.<br />

Minimal damage. Really nicely done. It's one <strong>of</strong><br />

those things you really only get one chance to<br />

do right, and Ken got it right. The homeowner<br />

thanked him and we cleared the call. Cancel one<br />

garage door.<br />

Glad we could help<br />

Gary Williams has had a certain magnetic<br />

attraction to one <strong>of</strong> our residents <strong>of</strong> the world<br />

famous Pine Valley Trailer Park, which is<br />

actually in Guatay. It's a special place. He keeps<br />

finding her driving on her suspended license in<br />

her "4000(a)mobile" with her meth.<br />

The U.S. Border Patrol also found her driving<br />

on her suspended license with her meth at the<br />

1-8 checkpoint. They called for a Stonegarden<br />

deputy to respond. She admitted it was her meth<br />

and that she would suffer the consequences—<br />

as long as they don't send "that jerk Gary<br />

Williams." It's good to feel the love. And yes,<br />

<strong>Deputy</strong> Williams responded.<br />

No, she wasn't very happy to see him. I keep<br />

trying to tell these people, it's a vast territory<br />

out here, but a very small world.<br />

"They call me ... "<br />

David Perrapato has the tweekers up in Guatay<br />

scrambling like roaches. I bumped into one <strong>of</strong><br />

his frequent flyers not long ago. She has a special<br />

name for her favorite deputy.<br />

Are you ready for this Up in Guatay they call<br />

him. . .<strong>Deputy</strong> Porta-potty. In this business, it's<br />

a high honor to have such a nickname, ain’t it<br />

In Other News<br />

Dep. Brad Farr lives a busy life these days. He got<br />

one <strong>of</strong> those 3 a.m. callouts in early January—<br />

the night before his vacation was supposed to<br />

begin. I told you, Rural Enforcement Never<br />

Sleeps! USBP was sitting on an occupied 10851<br />

in the parking lot <strong>of</strong> the world famous Golden<br />

Acorn Casino, affectionately known out here<br />

as "The Nut."<br />

This wasn't your ordinary 10851 though, as the<br />

R/O <strong>of</strong> the vehicle was recently murdered in<br />

Mexico. The BP supervisor had his entire shift<br />

up there and basically handed the suspect over<br />

to the S.O. on the proverbial silver platter—with<br />

his loaded .38. Obviously due to the nature <strong>of</strong><br />

the case I can't say too much, but it looks like<br />

this case is closed. Better still, <strong>Deputy</strong> Farr was<br />

able to start his vacation on time. He left town a<br />

bachelor and came back, pretty much the same<br />

only different.<br />

Elsewhere on the Boulevard beat, we're pleased<br />

to announce that the Wisteria Candy Cottage<br />

will soon reopen its doors after about a year <strong>of</strong><br />

being closed. They make the best homemade<br />

candy in the universe—truly. Also the old<br />

Chateau Basque/Salsa Lynda will soon reopen<br />

as the Boulevard Diner. What am I telling you<br />

this for You've never even been to Boulevard<br />

Well, we're movin' on up out here! Pretty soon,<br />

we'll be on the map.<br />

Up north, Alvin Vasquez handled that plane<br />

crash <strong>of</strong> a WWII era plane that tried to make an<br />

emergency landing, but clipped the wind sock<br />

pole and spun in. Alvin also went deer hunting<br />

with his brush guard. These things happen.<br />

Deps. Andy Dvorak and Carlos Medina will<br />

be getting atta-boys for their tireless work on a<br />

couple <strong>of</strong> extensive fraud cases.<br />

Ron Hobson is actually considering retirement.<br />

Don't hold your breath. He still loves this crazy<br />

work.<br />

Until next time, it's green jeans and cowboy<br />

boots forever. And remember, we're Rural<br />

Enforcement, fightin' crime elsewhere. <br />

DONOVAN J. JACOBS<br />

Attorney at Law • (Retired SDPD)<br />

I REPRESENT LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS IN CIVIL LITIGATION<br />

Personal Injury • Discipline Appeals<br />

Civil Service & Skelly Hearings<br />

If you have any legal questions,<br />

feel free to call:<br />

(619) 445-8650<br />

(619) 466-2335 (FAX)<br />

DonovanJJ@yahoo.com<br />

Silver Star February 2011 29

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