светлина - The Anglo-American School of Sofia

The Shot Heard ‘Round
the World
A. J. Myers
Satire
Originally penned by Ralph Waldo Emerson in his poem
“Concord Hymn” to refer to the first shots of the American Revolutionary
War, the phrase “The Shot Heard Around the World” has,
over the centuries, been used to describe monumental, historically
significant occasions. In sports, this phrase refers to Bobby Thomson’s
homerun to win the 1951 National League Pennant. For those
of you who know nothing about baseball, just nod your heads and
imagine something very important. Now, for the first time in the
history of the Anglo-American School of Sofia, there is an event that
can be included in the pantheon of sports mythology.
At 2:56 on Saturday, January 21st, the Anglo-American
School of Sofia’s high school boys basketball team made a freethrow.
Even more impressive was the fact that they added two
more free-throws to their total before the game was over and that
this sudden ability to get the ball in the basket without anyone
defending them coincided with their second win of the season.
During their first four games of the season, the AAS basketball
team had been unwilling, or possibly unable, to take advantage
of the opportunities presented to them from the so called
“charity stripe.” In fact, their struggles in this area had become
such a problem that Head Coach Paul Brecht refused to utter the
word “free-throw” around his team for fear that one of his players
would start choking, as they seemed to do when faced with the
idea of such an event. In fact, during their first four games, the
team was a combined 0 for 53 at “the line” (or to translate for our
British readers, “the queue” (why does that word have so many
letters)).
However, this all changed on January 21st. The curse was
broken. The lid was removed from the basket. Perhaps the freethrow
line was moved forward twenty centimeters. Whatever the
case, something changed. Two minutes into the game, superstar
guard Kyle Schultz was fouled. After missing his first free-throw,
his second clanked around the rim and rolled in. A giant cheer
erupted amongst the five spectators* cheering on the team. Coach
Brecht and Coach Swann both breathed out a simultaneous sigh
of relief, as they had feared that teams might simply start fouling
on every other possession in order to significantly reduce the
chances of AAS ever scoring. Two more free throws were added
throughout the course of the game: one by the speedy, bolt of
lightning known as Jamie Le Roux and one by the fearsome beast
in the paint, more commonly called Ivan Dimitrov. Admittedly,
the team still posted a measly 8.456% free throw percentage, but
their accomplishments overshadow such statistics.
On a side note. Or maybe on a related note, or an adjacent
note, possibly a note in the same octave, these three free-throws
occurred during AAS’s second win of the young season. They now
sit at an impressive 2-3 record. Making this all the more remarkable
is the fact that AAS currently resides on top of its conference**
and remain a game away from .500. They have already doubled
their win total from the previous season and have the opportunity
to triple, quadruple or even…umm… multiply that number by five
by the end of the season. Indeed, the future looks bright for this
young team that has shown it can inconsistently hit the rare freethrow.
*Five spectators. C’mon AAS. That’s pathetic. Come to the
games and support your team, you might even see them make a
free-throw!
**AAS is a member of BIG 1 conference, which consists of
one team- AAS.
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