Job Aids and Templates - Office of Human Resource Development

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Making a Request Using OFNR Giving Feedback Using Observations, Feelings, Needs, and Requests Adapted from The Nonviolent Communication Process: A Synopsis, by Penny Wassman Based on the work of Marshal Rosenberg, author of “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life” Observations Feelings Needs Requests • Clearly state what you see, hear, touch, feel, smell, taste, etc. • Be specific as to time and context. When and where did this occur? What were the exact words said? Or what exactly did you see? • Separate your observation from any evaluation or judgment. Ask yourself, “Could a video camera see my observation?” • Express feelings, rather than thoughts disguised as feelings. “I feel embarrassed.” rather than “I feel like an idiot.” • Find feelings that you can own, rather than what someone is doing to you. “I was irritated because I need to contribute.” rather than “I felt manipulated.” • Beware of words that label or blame yourself. Instead of “I feel so incompetent around him.” • Take responsibility for your feelings. No one “makes” you mad or bored. o Denying responsibility: “He made me so mad when he came late.” o Taking responsibility: “I was annoyed/irritated/angry when you came 15 minutes late without calling.” When we identify needs instead of blaming ourselves or others, we can start building positive relationships. • Needs are universal, common to all cultures, genders, races and countries. • Differentiate between Strategies and Needs o Strategy: “I need a car.” o Need: “I need efficiency and ease to get to work.” o Strategy: “I need a new computer.” o Need: “I need dependability and security to work efficiency.” After we observe and identify feelings/needs, make clear request. The clearer we are about what we want, the more likely it is that we’ll get it. • Ask yourself “What is my intention in making this request?” • Use specific language. “Can you be more considerate?” becomes “Are you willing to call us if you are going to be more than 5 minutes late?” • Frame requests in the positive (it’s hard to do a “don’t”) • Use a time frame where possible. “Are you willing to get that report to me by 5PM today?” • There are two types of requests: 1. Action Request: A specific do-able action. 2. Connection Request: Invites more dialogue. “Would you be willing to tell me what you heard me say?” 14
Making a Request Using OFNR Steps for Giving Feedback 1. Make an observation “I noticed that you came in 10 minutes late today.” • Clearly state what you see • Be specific as per time and context • Eliminate evaluations and judgments Pause. Give chance to hear what happened. Offer empathetic listening to make sure you understand. 2. Describe how you felt “I was frustrated…. • Take responsibility for your feelings 3. Your needs / or what happed because of the behavior (the consequences) “because I covered the front desk until you came and I need to be efficient in getting my work done” • Are you choosing to connect or (internal dialogue) Might say……. disconnect? “because I covered the front desk until you arrived. I depend on you to serve our customers during our open office hours.” Pause again. Offer empathetic listening again if appropriate. 4. Check for clarity “What do you understand I’m saying?” “What do you understand our procedure is……..?” 5. Make a request. • People always have a choice • Ensure that consequences of their “Would you be willing to come at ___from now on?” “Would you be willing to call me if something comes up and you’ll be more than 5 minutes late?” choices are clear YOUR TURN Drafting Feedback for Someone I Work With 1. Make an observation “I noticed Pause. Give chance to hear what happened. Offer empathetic listening to make sure you understand. 2. Describe how you felt “I was 3. Your needs / or what happed because of the behavior (the consequences) “because Pause again. Offer empathetic listening again if appropriate. 4. Check for clarity “What do you understand I’m saying?” 5. Make a request. “Would you be willing 15
Page 1 and 2: Job Aids and Templates For UW Somet
Page 3 and 4: Steps to Practice Hearing Feelings
Page 5 and 6: Universal Needs or Qualities of Hum
Page 7 and 8: Flexibility and the Four Supervisor
Page 9 and 10: Wisconsin Union Staff Education and
Page 11 and 12: Name: WU Staff Education & Training
Page 13: Writing Interview Questions for Cri
Page 17 and 18: 3. Is a Skill, Knowledge, or Talent
Page 19 and 20: Example Responsibility Grid Primary
Page 21 and 22: Worksheet for Continuous Improvemen

Job Aids and Templates - Office of Human Resource Development

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