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this way.
They're not people to be best friends with, and if
someone like this was your parent, you really had no
choice.
But you do have a choice now to live freely. Understand
that their treatment of you was the only
way they knew how to survive emotionally, even
though it was abusive towards you and anyone else
who happened to be in their life. Free yourself from
the anger, and focus on your life today, and how
free you really are.
2. Regret
Regret is usually felt when we beat ourselves up
for not knowing then what we know now. We may
have acted in ways, or said things that we look back
on and cringe. We may have stayed in places or
around people who treated us like nothing, and regret
sticking around so long.
But to punish yourself for not knowing better
before you knew better is just completely unfair.
You had to live through those things in order to become
the wiser person who you are today. You
learned about self-worth, about being kind, about
the power of words. Those lessons, you keep with
you, and you are a better person today because of
them.
Lessons in life can come directly through joy, or
indirectly through pain. To become just lessons, we
have to let go of the pain, and find the joy in the present
and future because of that past pain. Once a lesson
is learned, you never have to go through it
again. You already know. You just have to release
your mind from the painful memory of it.
3. Shame
Similar to regret, shame is held because of past
words or actions. If you were mean, or acted like a
person who you don't want to be, then don't be that
person today, tomorrow, or ever again.
Make amends if you can. Apologize, no matter
how long it's been. You may be holding on to shame
that the other person or people have totally forgotten
about. Or, they may still be holding on to the pain,
too, and your apology will help to release them from
it as well as you.Once you've tried to make amends,
realize that's all you can do.
Let it go, but if someone ever seems the same
way as you once were, don't judge them. Know that
one day, they, too will see it, and they will regret it
as well. They're not bad people, and you weren't a
bad person, you were just acting in a bad way, because
of whatever reason.
You can't move forward in life and have happy
relationships or success if you can't stand yourself.
By forgiving yourself, you're also going to become a
happier, more accepting person. You're going to be
a better person to every person in your life today
and in the future. It's a gift not only for you, but for
everyone you know or will ever meet.
4. Mistrust
Trust is natural. Mistrust only comes after trust
has been broken. People who are trusting get hurt a
lot, because it's so easy to lie to them. Mistrusting
people think they're ahead of the game by not trusting
anyone, but they actually hurt all the time. They
push good people away, because no innocent person
wants to be accused of awful things, and they can
never be at peace in relationships. They're constantly
questioning others' actions and motives and
creating dramas in their minds about the worst case
scenarios. Choose to trust. Realize that yes, sometimes
you will get hurt, but that's so much better
than the alternative.
5. Doubt
The opposite of doubt is faith. Faith is believing
without proof. Doubt is not believing, whether
there's proof or not. If you have faith in yourself,
you go further in life. Your relationships are
stronger. If you have faith in others, you inspire
them to be more than they could be on their own. If
you have faith in the world, in the Universe, in God,
or one of the three, then even without any proof
whatsoever that things will get better when they're
bad, you'll just know they will. You'll be able to
make it through the darkest days, and discover
strength. You'll have a whole new appreciation for
things and people when things do get better. You'll
realize the value of those tough times.
32 Yang-Sheng (Nurturing Life) Volume 2, Issue No. 5