Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 1 - Fish Fingers and Custard Fanzine
Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 1 - Fish Fingers and Custard Fanzine
Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 1 - Fish Fingers and Custard Fanzine
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27<br />
<strong>Fish</strong> <strong>Fingers</strong> <strong>and</strong> <strong>Custard</strong> <strong>Issue</strong> 1<br />
Application To Be A Doctor Who Assistant<br />
(Or ‘Companion’ if you’re politically correct)<br />
Name: ……………………………………<br />
Gender: FEMALE/WOMAN<br />
Age: 18-19/20-23/24-26<br />
Would you be willing to wear as little clothes as possible? YES/YES<br />
Can you run? YES/NO/A BIT<br />
Can you scream at a decent pitch? YES/NO/LIKE MEL BUSH<br />
Are you able to send down a steady stream of easy <strong>and</strong>/or complex questions to a leading actor?<br />
YES/NO<br />
Would you be willing to partake in any interview <strong>and</strong> have your picture taken, no matter how creepy<br />
the journalist <strong>and</strong> photographer? YES/NO<br />
Are you able to feed false information to/take the piss out of the press? YES/NO<br />
Are you able to hide information from friends/family/pets? YES/NO<br />
How easily are you scared by fans? EASILY/VERY EASILY/TERRIFIED OF THEM<br />
Do you like/can put up with Children? YES/NO/I’VE SEEN NANNY McPHEE, SO I HAVE<br />
AN IDEA<br />
Would you be willing to go on children’s television <strong>and</strong> endure the awful presenters, who are trying<br />
to make something of themselves <strong>and</strong> impress you, because they failed terribly at drama school?<br />
YES/NO<br />
And would you be willing to laugh at their ‘jokes’? YES/NO/I’LL TRY MY BEST<br />
If/when your contract expires, would you be willing to return for a one-off appearance, a few times,<br />
in case we need to ruin your perfectly good exit as well as the current storyline? YES/DO I HAVE<br />
A CHOICE?*<br />
In no more than 10 words, tell us how much you want this position?<br />
Thank-you for filling out the application form!<br />
*No, you don’t have a choice (mwhahaha!)