Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 1 - Fish Fingers and Custard Fanzine

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 1
The Doctor…In Wonderland
Alice had been spending her afternoon quietly by the
river, skipping stones rather badly on its still surface,
when she saw a tall, skinny man in a bowtie run past,
muttering, "I'm late!"
This would not have been a major, out of the way
occurrence, if the man had not been brandishing a
strange metal apparatus that was glowing bright green at
the tip. Alice was immediately interested and after
throwing her last stone directly at her older sister's head,
to knock her out, she followed the man at a safe distance.
He was running rather fast and Alice found herself quite
out of breath by the time she caught up with him, at which
point he was standing by a large hole in a tree trunk,
pointing his metal wand at it with an expression of
extreme concentration.
"Shh" he said to Alice, as she stopped breathlessly by him. "I think," he continued, "that
this hole is the physical appearance of a severe rip in the fabric of space and time..." He
continued looking deeply into it and muttering to himself, before, to Alice's consternation,
jumping right in with a gay shout of "Geronimo!"
Alice, never one to be left behind when her curiosity was piqued, jumped right in after him.
It was not how she imagined.
Instead of a rather hard landing on solid earth, which she had expected, the rabbit hole
seemed to go forever, twisting and turning beneath the tree, with all manner of curious
objects catching her attention. Flying boxes made of iron, with no visible means of
support. Machines that played thousands of songs yet could fit in her hand. Gauntlets that
caused death. Her head spun...
After what seemed like an age, she hit solid ground with a bump. She opened her eyes
and stared around. She was in a cavernous room, a massive table beside her and all
around the walls were doors, some gigantic, some miniscule, all tempting. Beside her also
was the strange man with the bowtie. He looked at her with interest.
"Who are you then?" he asked.
"I'm Alice" she said. "Who might you be?"
He smiled. "I'm the Doctor," he said. He looked around. "We look like we're stuck, Alice,"
he said. "There's a key on that table up there, but it looks like it will only fit that door -”
(here he pointed to the tiniest door of all) "and we're both of us much too big to go through
that."
It was at that moment Alice noticed a small cake on the floor beside her. She picked it up
and examined it. "It says 'Eat Me'" she reported.