We Will Not Go Quietly - Centre Against Sexual Assault

Every once in a while a ire ignites beneath me that brings up anger. I
typically don’t act on my sadness, but anger is the emotion that has allowed
me to ight back. Whether it was the smallest action like checking on you
online, or a monumental triumph such as speaking to a room of sexual
ofenders at a prison, my anger gave me the courage and strength to survive.
When I speak to groups of perpetrators at a local prison, the men are
forced to confront their own demons while listening to the horror I have
endured since you raped me. I know how hard it is for them to sit in the room
and listen to the pain I went through, thinking of the people they hurt. I have
been told that many of the men are ashamed to be in the same room as me
because they feel like they don’t deserve my respect. In both the prison and
the outside world, I am making a diference not with violence or vengeance,
but with my voice.
Andrew, rape creates a ripple efect of consequences. Not only was I
afected in every aspect of my life, but so were the people around me. I wish
that your name didn’t hold so much power to me, but using your name through
the stories I share and the letters I write allows me to confront my fear of
you. Every time I say the name Andrew, it gives you less power. And without
that power, Andrew, you hold nothing over me.
Eighteen months later, I am still healing from the wounds you caused me, but
I’m also so much stronger than I ever was before the rape. I may have been
victimized by you, Andrew, but, I am NOT your victim. I am a survivor. You can
try to hide the fact that you’re a rapist from the world, but you can’t hide it
from you or me.
Dearest Andrew, your only victim is YOU.
Yours truly, Survivor Liz
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