AB Coming out story - Schule der Vielfalt

Coming outIdentifying yourself as lesbian, gay, bisexual ortransgender (LGBT) and disclosing* this to otherpeople is often referred to as 'coming out'.Coming out is a process. There are several theoriesabout the elements of the 'coming out' process. All ofthem regard 'coming out' as a series of stages. Thesestages do not necessarily last the same length of timeand there is no one age when the whole processbegins and ends.'Coming out' usually takes place in the early to midteenage years and is generally a positive experience.However, coming to terms with confusion aboutidentity can affect a young person's socialrelationships, school work and self-esteem bothnegatively and positively.It can be a difficult time for many young LGBT peoplewhen they decide who to tell about their sexuality. Inmaking this disclosure they are often fearful ofnegative reactions, rejection and causing upset andSchule ohne Homophobie – Schule der Vielfaltdistress* to the person they are telling. Sometimes ayoung person may 'come out' to a supportiveteacher or a school friend before talking to parents, inorder to rehearse* their own part and to judgereactions.Support and guarantees of safety are valuable topeople 'coming out'. The availability of secure andconfidential groups or contacts can be instrumentalin reducing anxiety, which is only magnified byfeelings of isolation. The presence of role models,such as adults who 'come out', and those who offernon-judgmental support can be important. Positivetreatment by, and contact with role models can alsoencourage them to feel confident about their future.*to disclose sth: etw. bekannt geben*distress: pain; dispair*to rehearse: hier: vorbereiten1. What does ‘coming out’ mean?2. What difficulties and problems might young LGBT people have to face?3. Why can role models be important for young people ‘coming out’?Did you have positive role models in your childhood/ teenage years (e.g. your sister)?Coming out storiesNathan, 15 yearsI have known that I am gay since I was about 5 years old. I’ve rejected the idea, my parentsraise me to believe it was wrong and that it wasn't what god wanted. My parents areChristian and I felt like I was trapped in my own home. I knew that there had been one otherhomosexual in my family, my aunt. I had some idea of to call her and ask her what heropinion she had of it. I decided not to. Instead I reached Junior High.In 7th I was still a bit confused and was trying to force myself to be straight, for my parentsand family of course. I realized in 8th grade I wasn't really comfortable with the title"Straight" and so I thought…"Maybe it's okay if I am bi?" I went by this for a few months, butrealized it just wasn't going to happen. I then changed to gay. I had not told anyone, and noone expected it either. I am the typical "football player" body build, so no one even had theslightest idea I was gay. I then told my closest friend at the time, Miranda. She had been avery understanding, accepting person about the matter.From that point on I was just gaining more and more confidence about the matter, and soon,my teachers and siblings knew, as well as all of my friends. I turned 15, and about 3 monthsafter my birthday, I decided to tell my parents. They were by far, the people who took it theworst. I wasn't ready, and I wish I could have done it later. All I was thinking of when I did itwas "I am tired of living a lie, hopefully I will get some respect." Wrong, everything wentdownhill. They treated me like an alien for almost a week, wouldn't let me talk to my friends,and then one night…my dad took me for a ride in the jeep. He told me he understand I couldbe confused, and that it is probably just puberty. I was thinking in my mind "No, I haveknown for years." I didn't say it of course. My parents are giving me my respect now though,not saying the hurtful comments they were saying before.I am now openly gay, to all. My school knows, as well as my friends, parents, etc. I now helpmy friends who are confused come to realize who they really are :)http://www.avert.org/coming-out.htmEine Initiative von:SchLAu NRW und der Landeskoordination Anti-Gewalt-Arbeit für Lesben und Schwule in NRWwww. schule der vielfalt.de

Schule ohne Homophobie – Schule der Vielfalt1. Describe the different stages (and feelings) Nathan is going through in his process ofliving openly gay. Use your own words.2. How did his parents react?How would your parents react if you told them you were gay? Talk with your partner.3. Write a diary entry from the perspective of Nathan one day before he tells his parentsthat he is gay. Include his thoughts, feelings and fears.Eine Initiative von:SchLAu NRW und der Landeskoordination Anti-Gewalt-Arbeit für Lesben und Schwule in NRWwww. schule der vielfalt.de