Passionate Love and Sexual Desire - Elaine Hatfield

23fact they do not. Joseph and Joseph’s (1987) vivid descriptions of Moroccan family lifemake it clear that even in Morocco compromise is often required. When “all powerful”Moroccan fathers try to force their children into unappealing marriages, sympatheticfamily members may employ an avalanche of strategies to thwart them. Young loversmay enlist an army of mothers, uncles, brothers, neighbors, and business partners toplead, threaten, and haggle on their behalf. Mothers may warn prospective brides abouttheir son’s “faults.’ Young men may complain that an undesirable bride is a witch.Young men and women may threaten to kill themselves. Many young men and womenrely on witchcraft or magical charms to get their way. Sometimes these desperatestratagems work, sometimes they don’t.Within a single society, arrangements often vary from ethnic group to ethnicgroup, class to class, region to region, and family to family (Bumroongsook, 1992).C. Marriage for LoveIn the West, romantic love has long been considered to be the sine qua non ofmarriage. (Kelley, et al., 1983; Sprecher, et al., 1994)In the mid-1960s, Kephart (1967) asked more than 1,000 American collegestudents: “If a boy (girl) had all the other qualities you desired, would you marry thisperson if you were not in love with him (her)?” In that era, men and women were foundto possess very different ideas as to how important romantic love was in a marriage. Menconsidered passion to be essential (only 35% of them said they would marry someonethey did not love). Women were more practical. They claimed that the absence of lovewould not necessarily deter them from considering marriage. (A full 76% of themadmitted they would be willing to marry someone they did not love.) Kephart suggested