June 2006 - The Parklander Magazine

More Than Just Mazel Tov!The Essentials of a Jewish WeddingBy Sandra LewisShe might be wearing an original Vera Lang designer gown or asimple linen suit. He might be wearing an Armani tuxedo or justcasual trousers and a jacket. It’s not the wedding garb thatdistinguishes the Jewish bride and groom from their Gentilecounterparts. It’s the ceremony, one of the most joyous celebrations inthe lush repertoire of Jewish life-cycle events, seasoned with Biblicalsymbolism and ancient traditions.What are the elements of a quintessentially Jewish wedding?Rabbi Paul Plotkin of Temple Beth Am says that:1) The bride and groom will both be Jewish.2) The ceremony will take place under a canopy or huppah.3) There will be a marriage document, called the ketubbah.4) The cups of wine, and accompanying prayers, will beused during the ceremony.5) The groom will present the bride with a simple ringand he will offer a declaratory statement.6) A wine glass will be broken.According to Rabbi Plotkin, a traditional Jewish reception offersKosher foods and there will be Jewish music and dancing the hora. Thebride and groom will be carried around the room in their chairs. Gracewill be said after the meal with special blessings for the newlyweds.The canopy can be a simple affair of just four posts supporting alarge piece of adorned fabric. Another rendition of the canopy atrecent, star-studded, Hollywood weddings has been the use of livetrees with twinkling lights and floral garlands.The huppah has its roots in ancient times and some believe it is aremnant of the tent life of Israel. Others believe that it symbolizes thewreath that was wrapped around the bridal couple in Talmudic times.Still others see it as an obvious interpretation of the home that thespouses will make for themselves.The kettubah is a Jewish marriage contract, a sacred agreement thatcan be a simple document or a handpainted, original work of art.Traditionally, the kettubah spelled out the obligations of the husbandto his wife. He would promise to cherish and honor her and providefor her support and sexual fulfillment. Today, parallel declarations byboth the husband and wife are often included in the contract and inthe English rendition of the document the couple will often expresstheir feeling for each other.During the ceremony the bride and groom sip from two cups ofwine, which represent joy and sorrow in their new life together. Atthe end of the ceremony, the groom stomps on a clean glass wrappedin a cloth napkin and everyone present responds with a heartyMazel Tov!“There is no such thing as a perfect Jewish wedding,” adds RabbiPlotkin. “If you look for perfection in life you will be constantlyfrustrated. Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s not worth fighting over.”He further advises that short engagements are better than longones because the longer the engagement period, the more likelyoutside influences can interfere with the unity of the couple. He alsosuggests establishing an affordable wedding budget because itdoesn’t make sense to start a marriage in debt.Rabbi Michael Gold of Temple Beth Torah adds. “Don’t just planyour wedding,” he says. “Plan your marriage.”He often gives a copy of his book, Seven Keys To A Successful Marriage,to the prospective bride and groom before the ceremony,emphasizing that it’s important for the couple to discuss such topicsas money, family, home and religion before the wedding takes place.If there are any irresolvable differences of opinion, he recommendsconsulting with a prenuptial counselor.Rabbi Gold has officiated at many weddings and one of the mostmemorable was the one he held in his house after Hurricane Wilma.The synagogue had no electricity but the power was still on at hishouse and he opened his heart and his home to the couple.The most memorable wedding for Rabbi Plotkin was hisdaughter’s. It took place in his temple, where she worshipped all herlife, in front of the congregation that had watched her grow up. Whenasked to recall the worst wedding at which he officiated, the rabbiremembered a summer ceremony held in a south Florida hotel, thekind with an atrium-type lobby. The air conditioning was on the fritzand the sun poured in through the high glass ceiling, turning thepretty indoor garden into a tropical rainforest.Both Rabbis Gold and Plotkin believe that while it’s important tohave a wedding as close to perfect as possible, it’s more importantthat the bride and groom spend as much time planning the rest oftheir lives together as they do choosing caterers and cantors.Sandra Lewis is a freelance writer who lives in Coral Springs.Jacqueline TorresCoral Springs305.218.1444 • 1.866.653.3563www.marykay.com/torresjackie81•Custom Framing & Mirrors•Home AccentsCome see our new lineof La Dolce LunaItalian PursesBrookside Plaza10637 Wiles RoadCoral Springs954-255-007652the PARKLANDER