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The Welfare OfficeA woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15kids... "WOW," the social worker exclaims, "are they ALLYOURS???" "Yep they are all mine," the flustered mommasighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.She says, "Sit down Leroy. "All the children rush to find seats."Well," says the social worker, "then you must be here to signup. I'll need all your children's names." "This one's my oldest -he is Leroy." "OK, and who's next? ""Well, this one he is Leroy,also. "The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. Oneby one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy.Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Leighroy! "Allright," says the caseworker. "I'm seeing a pattern here. Arethey ALL named Leroy?" Their Momma replied,! "Well, yes-itmakes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed andready for school, I yell, 'Leroy! 'An' when it's time for dinner, Ijust yell 'Leroy!' an' they all comes a running. 'An' if I need tostop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Leroy'and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namingthem all Leroy. "The social worker thinks this over for a bit,then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, "But what ifyou just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?" "Icall them by their last names."JOKES. JOKES, JOKESFuneral ProcessionA woman was leaving a convenience store with hermorning coffee when she noticed a most unusualfuneral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.A long black hearse was followed by a second longblack hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.Behind the second hearse was a solitary womanwalking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distanceback, were about 200 women walking singlefile. The woman couldn't stand her curiosity. Sherespectfully approached the woman walking the dogand said, "I am so sorry for your loss", I know now isa bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen afuneral like this. Whose funeral is it?" "My husband's.""What happened to him?" The womanreplied, "My dog attacked and killed him." Sheinquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She wastrying to help my husband when the dog turned onher." A poignant and thoughtful moment of silencepassed between the two women. "Can I borrow thedog?" "Get in line."September 2007 • 33