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Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionButting headspage 18Q - N O T E SNoted . Notable . Noteworthy . LGBT News & ViewsVolume 23 . Number 13 November 1 . 2008 Printed on Recycled Paper FREEJason & deMarco — This is loveDuo will sing to ‘Stop The Hate’ at Nov. 7 concert in Charlotteq-notes.comby David Stout . Q-Notes staffThe Great Smoky Mountains are a world away from the Great Plains,but the prairie is nonetheless on the minds of popular vocal duoJason & deMarco while they grab a few days rest in Gatlinburg, Tenn.The reason is because the musical and life partners have agreed toheadline a benefit concert in Charlotte to mark the 10th anniversary of thedeath of anti-gay hate crime victim Matthew Shepard. On Oct. 6, 1997, theUniversity of Wyoming student was brutally beaten and left tied to a fenceQ - N O Tto die in the lonely expanseEof Laramie’s great wide open.SJason Warner and deMarco DeCiccio live in Houston and Los Angeles.They are in Gatlinburg to visit Jason’s retired parents and the getaway hascome at an opportune time. Their new album,“Safe,” has just been releasedon the men’s own RJN Music label (mega music retailer Best Buy haspicked it up) and in the previous two and a half weeks they’ve performedin six cities spanning from Hawaii to Ohio.Jason & deMarco’s fame has grown substantially over the last yearthanks to a multi-format hit song and an absorbing documentary thatexamines their music, home life and Christian spirituality.The romantic clip for “This Is Love” was named 2007’s “Music Video ofthe Year” by LOGO. DJ Scotty K.’s thumping remix became a surpriseAbercrombie & Fitch in-store favorite. After making the film festivalrounds, the documentary “We’re All Angels” debuted on Showtime in Juneand was issued on DVD last month. In September, the duo was covered byAmerica’s pop-culture bible, People magazine.On Nov. 7, Jason & deMarco are slated to top the bill for the “Stop TheHate” memorial concert at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte.(The following evening at 7 p.m., they are in Raleigh for a free concertsponsored by St. John’s MCC. The next morning they perform again duringQ - N O Tthe church’s regular SundayEworship service. See “Out & SAbout” in this issuefor details.)Joining Jason & deMarco at “Stop The Hate” will be singer-songwriterRandi Driscoll and the Queen City’s LGBT chorus, One Voice.Driscoll’s work has been featured on her own albums, in commercialsand documentaries and even on the hit TV show “Dawson’s Creek,” but herfinest career accomplishment might be “What Matters,” the song she wroteand recorded in response to Matthew Shepard’s death. The track hasbecome the official benefit single for the Matthew Shepard Foundation.The Foundation and Campus Pride, a national group working to createa safer campus environment for college students, are the beneficiaries ofthe “Stop The Hate” concert.Q-Notes spoke with Jason & deMarco by telephone while they were inGatlinburg.What does it mean to you to be a part of this memorialconcert?deMarco: This is a big part of what we do. Jason and I feel that not only dowe have a career, we have a responsibility to help change the world in whateverway we can with our music and message. Just like Judy Shepard andCampus Pride are doing, we want to make a positive impact. We want tobring a message of unconditional love, replacing hate with unconditionalacceptance.Jason: On the anniversary of Matthew Shepard’s death, it’s amazing to thinkQ - N O T E SSeason’sHouse arrestFailing gradecomingGay DJCarolinas politiciansbreaks probationHoliday entertainingranked by HRCtips and travelpage 11page 14page 28‘We really try to be patient because we know we’re lucky to have each other,’ deMarco (foreground) saysthoughtfully.Photo Credit: Van Der Kolk Photography see Duo on 12Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

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Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionT A B L E O F C O N T E N T SFront and center:Jason & deMarco, this is love 01Veteran’s affairs 27Crossword 32Drag Rag 21Editorial: HIV case deserves coverage 04www.q-notes.com Volume 23 Number 13 November 1, 2008General Gayety: Candidate 05Q - N OArticles:T E SPO Box 221841 • Charlotte, NC 28222 • 704.531.9988 . 704.531.1361 FAXMoney Matters 19Acne treatment and prevention 16To find a copy, go to www.q-notes.com/distribution-points/News Notes: Domestic 07Publisher: Jim YarbroughButting heads 18News Notes: Global 06Editor/New Media: Matt Comereditor@q-notes.comENC announces speakers, awardee 15News Notes: NC 08Associate Editor: David StoutFaculty members debate donations 20Out and About 34Special Assignments: Lainey MillenHouse arrest for DJ’s 2nd HIV violation 11Out in the Stars 32Graphic Design/Production: Lainey Millenadvertising@q-notes.comLeaders fail on LGBT issues 14Q-Poll 04Ad Sales:Kat M. Read 704.531.9988 adsales@q-notes.comFeatures:Talkback 05Jim Yarbrough, Manager 704.531.9988Tell Trinity 33Gay rights on lockdown 22Ad Sales . National:Rivendell Media 212.242.6863Holiday drinks 31Holiday egg-citing appetizers 29Material in Q-Notes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2008 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consentof the editor.Q - N O T E SHoliday entertaining tips 30Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs andillustrations or trademarks published in their ads.Travel: gay cruises 28The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names orEditorial Contributors:photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. Q-Notes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyondoffering to run a correction. The editorial positions of Q-Notes are expressed in staff editorials and editor's notes and are determined by editorial Travel: winter getaways 36 ARA, Will Billings, Matt Comer, J. Lynnstaff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of Q-Notes or its staff.Davidson, Kevin Grooms/Miss Della,Q-Notes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well asedit for clarity, brevity.Columns:Charlene Lichtenstein, Lainey Millen,issue: 11-15 deadline: 11-05Benjamin Nelson,Kat M.Read,Leslieadvertisingissue: 12-13 deadline: 12-03 Classifieds 35space deadlinesRobinson, StatePoint Media, David Stout,issue: 11-29 deadline: 11-19 issue: 12-27 deadline: 12-17 Community Cards 24/25/26 Trinity, Joseph UrbaniakQ - N O T E SQ - N O T E SNOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotes 3Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for Reproduction4 NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotesP E R S P E C T I V EEditorialRaleigh HIV case warrants news coverageSince the publication of our Oct. 23 webstory “Gay DJ put on house arrest for secondQ - N OHIV violation,” Q-NotesThas received someE Spointed criticism. We welcome this exchange ofideas and want our readers to know the reasonswe decided to publish the story online,why a version appears in this issue and how we health of others.came to the conclusion that it was newsworthy. In cases such as these, when a person is aThe editorial staff first became aware of threat to himself and others, we expect ourJoshua Waldon Weaver in late August, as we government to step in. Weaver has shown thatwere preparing our Sept. 6 issue. Ironically, we he is not willing to take precautions in thewere chastised by a member of the communityfor not covering the story quickly enough. partners also bear responsibility for theirinterest of public health. While his sexualWeaver had just been convicted of violatingstate health regulations governing the law, inform his partners of his status and wearbehavior, it is Weaver’s duty alone to follow thespread of communicable diseases including a condom during sex.HIV, as well as others such as tuberculosis. As Among the criticism directed toward us,previously reported, Weaver admitted in court there’s been discussion about the stigma surroundingHIV and AIDS. Some have statedand to Q-Notes via phone that he had unprotectedsex with three men and failed to disclosehis HIV-positive status.reality, isn’t it Weaver’s own behavior that addsthat our coverage only adds to this stigma. InFor pleading guilty in the case, Weaver to the stigma? When many people, gay orQ - N Oreceived a 40-day suspendedTjail sentence andEstraight, think of people with SHIV, they thinkprobation. Terms of his probation ordered him of the stereotype of the unrepentant man whoto comply with communicable disease control repeatedly engages in dangerous behaviormeasures set by the state, such as using a condomand utilizing other safe sex practices. Weaver is fueling this image.wantonly infecting others. Rightly or wrongly,It is important to note that the court andLastly, remember that Q-Notes is a newspa-the state have never said an HIV-positive personcannot or should not engage in sex. That to forget this because our reporting comesper, not an advocacy organization. People tendthe State of North Carolina and its courts publiclyrecognize the validity and need for inti-Nonetheless, it is paramount that we guardfrom a decidedly pro-LGBT ideological stance.macy among gay males is a fact to be applauded.We commend state government for this the community.against becoming an uncritical cheerleader forvital recognition of LGBT and HIV-positiveWhen there are issues or people thatpeople’s right to sexual privacy and freedom. deserve criticism, it is our responsibility toIn our Sept. 6 story, we contacted HIV/AIDS report it. And when Q-Notes deserves criticism,it is our obligation to air your concerns.advocates and asked them about the efficacyand application of the laws applied to Weaver’s There’s a reason why letters to the editor andcase.We believe we handled this complicated uncensored web comments are accepted —issue sensitively and reached acceptable conclusionsto the key questions: Are these laws neces-you feel aggrieved. We can handle it.utilize these outlets and blister us wheneverQ - N Osary? (Yes.) When andThow are they enforced?EMore than anything, we Shope our coverageof this unfortunate situation leads to an(Rarely and in extreme circumstances.) What isthe obligation of a person with HIV? (Disclose honest and open discussion about HIV, AIDShis or her status to their sexual partners.)and sexual behavior among men in theMatt Comer’s Editor’s Note in the Sept. 20 LGBT community.issue (“New HIV numbers should sparkFor instance, why do so many gay andaction”) took members of the LGBT communityto task for caring too little about theirsexual health and failing to practice safe sex.The piece delved into a plethora of culturaland societal conditions that contribute to theongoing HIV/AIDS crisis among gay andbisexual men and men who have sex withmen (MSM) but do not identify as gay.In the end, Comer encouraged LGBT peopleto address these complex issues openly,while at the same time taking more personal❛speakout ❜Send your letter to the editor or anyother thoughts toeditor@q-notes.com or click on over toresponsibility for theirown safe sex practices andsexual health.Weaver jumped backon our radar late last month when he admittedin open court that he had already brokenhis probation orders. It is not our intent todemonize this man, but he continues tobehave in reckless and negligent ways that notonly endanger his own health, but also thebisexual men seemingly refuse to take personalresponsibility for their own health? Why havewe practically fetishized an extremely risky sexualpractice (anonymous, bareback sex)? Whydon’t we push our elected leaders to do more?Why would we rather watch the Oscars and goclubbing than lobby for more HIV/AIDS fundingand comprehensive sex education?For our community’s health and welfare,we’re willing to have these difficult conversations.Are you? ◗• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •Q - N O T E Sour website at www.q-notes.com andjoin the conversation there.Web comments will be featured in eachissue. Limit letters to the editor to 150words or less and includeyour name, city and state and a phonenumber where you can be reached.Should the state be able totell HIV-positive individualsto use condoms and disclosetheir status to sexual partners?See the options and vote atwww.q-notes.comQ-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for Reproduction6 NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotesG L O Bby Matt Comer . Q-Notes staffGay living center underwayCOLOGNE — A multigenerational gay livingcenter is under constructionQ - N O Tin thisE SGerman city. Organizers claim it will be a firstof its kind living center in which a variety ofLGBT and straight families will live together.Several cities around the world are nowhome to elderly care and retirement centers Remarks cast doubt on sexualitymarketed to the growing population of olderVIENNA — Remarks made at the funeralLGBT people. This living center will include of a far-right Austrian leader killed in a carsingles, families, thecrash are leading some to questionelderly and straightwhether he was gay.people.A political protegé, Stefan“Some peoplePetzner, tearfully called Freedomwho live here will beParty leader Joerg Haider “thestudents, others willman of my life.” Petzner, 27, didspend their workingnot expressly state whether heyears here, and stillhad a sexual or romantic involvementwith the 57-year-old Haider.others will spendtheir golden yearsA father of two, Haider waswith us.We want allpictured in a gay bar the eveninggenerations,” reads abefore his crash on Oct. 11, ironicallythe day the SU.S. gay commu-Q - N Obrochure for the projectnitycelebrates National ComingT EThe developmentOut Day.will include 34 apartments.Individuals leader Joerg Haider subject of Fleischhacker, editor-in-chief ofWas he gay? Austrian far-right “This can’t go on,” Michaeland families will live scrutiny after recent death. the newspaper Die Presse,wrote inseparately but contribute to a sense of community,organizers said.There will be a state-determined quota of30 percent of homes set aside for the elderly.Organizers also said a 15 percent quota will beset aside for heterosexual families.Filmmaker drops gay kiss sceneNEW DELHI — An Indian filmmaker hasdropped a gay kissing scene in an upcomingmovie to avoid rejection from his conservativenation’s censor board.Madhur Bhandarkar said he’ll drop thescene between male actors Samir Soni andQ - N OAnil Kumar in his filmT“Fashion.”E S“What a beautifully-shot scene of intimacy Gay porn not ‘unnatural’it is between Samir and Anil.You forget theirANKARA — A Turkish pornographer hasgender. They’re just two people in loveskirted punishment for portraying “unnaturalexpressing their feelings,” said Bhandarkar.“I sex” after a court cleared him of wrongdoingtook it out before taking it to the censorand charged him only with sale of illegalboard. I thought portraying a homosexualcouple was bold enough. The kiss would havebeen too much. But now I’m planning torestore it on the DVD.”Priest escapes disciplineLONDON — A Church of England priestunder investigation for performing marriagerites between two male priests has escapeddiscipline from the church.The Rev. Martin Dudley performed the marriagewith the complete traditional rites and vowsin May.An investigation followed after bishopsand archbishops condemned the ceremony.Q - N OA church panel clearedTDudley of anyE Swrongdoing after he apologized for the decisionand promised not to do it again.Dudley wrote,“I regret the embarrassmentcaused to you by this event and by its subsequentportrayal in the media. I now recognise seen from a narrow perspective; otherwiseThe term ‘unnatural sexual behavior’ should betherethat I should not have responded positively tothe request for this service, even though it wasmade by another incumbent of your Diocese,who is a colleague, neighbour and friend of usboth, nor should I have adopted uncriticallythe Order of Service prepared by the him andA LInternational News Noteshis partner.”In a statement, the Rt. Rev.Pete Broadbent, Assistant Bishopof London, said: “The Rector hasmade expressly clear his regret over what happenedat St. Bartholomew the Great andaccepted the service should not have takenplace. Bishop Richard has considered the matterand has decided to accept the Rector’s apologyin full. The matter is therefore now closed.”his blog.“Stefan Petzner needs to make a decision:Either he describes what was so specialabout his relationship with Joerg Haider, or hestops publicly playing the role of Haider’s successorand widow.”Haider was known for praising aspects ofAdolf Hitler’s labor policies and often attackedimmigrants. Neither he nor his party evermade public derogatory remarks about theLGBT community.The political leader’s widow and familyhave not made any comment to the press andthe Freedom Party says the relationshipbetween Haider and Petzner was platonic.pornographic material.The pornographer came under legalscrutiny after his sale of DVDs portraying gayand group sex. Turkish law prescribes higherpenalties for the sale of movies including“unnatural” intercourse. In its ruling, anIstanbul court referenced rights of privacy andequity in the Constitution and EuropeanConvention on Human Rights.The Istanbul court ruled: “Most Europeancountries have given gay relationships theequivalence of marriage, and in Holland gaymarriages were made legal a few years back.In a world of modern societies, it is not possibleto say intercourse among members of thesame sex is unnatural.“Since the action happens in private placesand does not include children it is not criminal.is the risk of judging every sexual relationshipoutside of certain limitations unnatural. It iswithout doubt that the images are eccentric.Although this kind of sexual activity is notcommon in societies, it is a fact that in everysociety collective sexual relationships exist.”◗Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionNational News Notesby David Stout . Q-Notes staffD O M E S T I CGLMA comes out for marriageTrailblazing politician has diedNEW YORK, N.Y. — The Gay & LesbianST. PAUL, Minn. — Allan Spear, the firstMedical Association has launched a MarriageopenlyQgay state legislator to serve in the- N OEquality Initiative toTbring the voice andE Snation, has died at age 71. Spear was aknowledge of the medical community to theMinnesota State Senator for nearly 30 years,table in support of marriage equality.and served as Senate president for eight ofIn conjunction with the Marriage Equalitythem. Spear’s public declaration of his sexualInitiative, the GLMA published a new study, Ramelli and Donovan were verbally abusedorientation made nationalPoll: Majority“Same-Sex Marriage and Health,” whichwith anti-gay slurs by other Poway Highheadlines.“By living honestly andauthentically, Allan Spearknocked down barriers andhad an untold influence onthe LGBT community,” saidHuman Rights CampaignPresident Joe Solmonese.“Spear’s courageous decisionto come out inspired bothLGBT and straightAmericans, and today, openlyLGBT individuals runningand winning elected officeacross the country can walkon the road that he paved.”Today, there are approximately400 openly LGBTstate legislators nationwide.Each side will be allotted 30 minutes topresent their argument.In December 2005, Lambda Legal fileda lawsuit with the Polk County Court onbehalf of six same-sex couples who weredenied marriage licenses. Last year the districtcourt held that denying marriage to same-sexcouples is unconstitutional. The ruling wasappealed and now the final decision in thecase will be made by the Iowa Supreme Court.supports marriageHARTFORD, Conn. —Fifty-three percent ofConnecticut residents supportthe state SupremeCourt’s historic ruling tolegalize same-sex marriage,according a pollconducted for TheHartford Courant.Fortytwopercent of thosepolled said they do notsupport the decision.Looking at the level ofsupport by political party,72 percent of Democratsapprove of the ruling comparedto 29 percent of GOPshould be allowed to serve in the U.S. military,with 8 percent opposed.explains the positive correlation betweensame-sex marriage and overall health andwellness for same-sex couples and their children.Access to spousal healthcare, security forchildren and reduced financial stress for oldercouples are included in the report as examplesof positive health benefits that would resultfrom marriage equality.School board protects gay kidsBOZEMAN, Mont. — The BozemanSchool Board voted Oct. 13 to add sexual orientationto the district’s non-discriminationpolicy. Citing the need to promote a safe andaccepting environment and recognizing theimportance of leading by example, membersvoted 6-1 to update the school system’s antibiaspolicy, which ensures “equal educationalCalifornia Court of Appeal (Fourth District)upheld a jury decision that found PowayUnified School District officials took minimalor no action when two Poway High Schoolstudents were subjected to relentless harassmentbecause they are gay and lesbian. TheOct. 10 ruling upheld an award of $300,000 toMegan Donovan and Joey Ramelli under thestate education code.Over the course of their junior yearSchool students and Joey was physicallyassaulted and his car vandalized. Both eventuallydropped out and completed studiestoward their high school diplomas at home.“Ibegged school officials for help,” Ramelli said,“but they just didn’t care.”GLSEN names new agency headNEW YORK, N.Y. — The national board ofdirectors of the Gay, Lesbian and StraightEducation Network have tapped Dr. ElizaByard to be the organization’s new executivedirector. Byard officially assumes the positionNov. 1. She was hired by GLSEN founder KevinJennings in 2001 and has since served as theagency’s deputy executive director. She boastsmore than 20 years of experience in non-profitdevelopment and management.Q - N O T E SFormer Minnesota State SenatorAllan Spearrespondents. Fifty-two percentof independent voters favor the decision. Bozeman High School has a Gay-Straight vision,integrity,experience and bold wis-opportunities available for all students.”“In Eliza, we found a leader with theState high court set for showdown The poll also found that 73 percent ofAlliance for students and observes GLSEN’s dom to lead GLSEN and strengthen ourDES MOINES, Iowa — The Iowa Supreme respondents feel that gay and lesbian couples National Day of Silence.greater national safe schools movement,”Court will hear oral arguments on December should have the right to adopt children, whilesaid Deborah Dagit, chair of the search committeeand Chief Diversity Officer at Merck9 in Lambda Legal’s lawsuit seeking marriage 19 percent said they should not. In addition, School bullying award upheldequality for same-sex couples in the state. 87 percent said that people who are openly gay SAN DIEGO, Calif. — In a 3-0 decision, the & Co., Inc. ◗Q - N O T E SQ - N O T E SNOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotes 7Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionN O R T H CA R O L I N ANorth Carolina News NotesCommunity Center of Charlotte, MetrolinaAIDS Project, Off Tryon Theater Company,One Voice Chorus, Playworks, Time OutYouth, Unity Fellowship Church and TheUrban Institute at the University of NorthCarolina-Charlotte.Federally-tax exempt organizations orthose with tax-qualified sponsors interested inreceiving a grant application should contactBob Scheer at 704-375-4275, ext 11 or viaemail at bscheer@wesleymancini.com.Ready to shuffle?CHARLOTTE — The Human RightsCampaign (HRC) will hold an evening of skatingand retro ’80s musicQ - N O Ton Nov. 12 at StarlightE SRoller Rink, 8830 W. Harris Blvd. from 6-9 p.m.Roll around the ring while enjoyingfavorite ’80s tunes and enjoy a night of fun. Raising voices with songCost is $15 in advance, $20 at the door, and DURHAM — The Common Womaninclude light refreshments and an annual HRCmembership.Advance tickets should be purchased by 5p.m. on Nov. 11.Tickets are available online at www.hrcactioncenter.org/actioncenter/events/ncskate08/.Time to voteCHARLOTTE —by Lainey Millen & Matt Comer . Q-Notes staff Pride Charlotte 2009 is holdingits annual theme contest onlineCHARLOTTE until Nov. 14. It is open to the entire community.The winner will be notified by email orQ - N OMancini acceptingTapplicationsEphone, announced on the website Sand otherCHARLOTTE — The Wesley Mancini media, as well as introduced at the upcomingFoundation is accepting applications until Pride Charlotte Theme Reveal Party.Nov. 1 for the grant period of Jan.1-Dec. 31,He or she will receive $50, two 2009 T-shirts2009. Grants are awarded to fund specific and recognition online and in the Pride Guide.projects and are not awarded to cover general Make your selection now online atoperating expenses.www.PrideCharlotte.com.The Foundation’s mission is to providefunding for projects that promote theTRIADinclusion of LGBT individuals as full participantsin the Charlotte community, seekCouple gets hitched in Calif.to eliminate censorship and/or work to fosterand support freedom of expression. sex couples have been rushing to the altar aheadWINSTON-SALEM — A multitude of same-Since its inception in 2000, the Foundation of California’s ballot referendum on Propositionhas awarded 15 grants to 11 organizations. 8, the constitutional amendment that would rollProjects must benefit residents ofback the historic State Supreme Court rulingMecklenburg and surrounding counties, that knocked down the state’s gay marriage ban.and are project specific.The San Diego Union-Tribune profiled thePast recipients have been: Actor’s Theatre N.C. couple Ken McLeod and Terry Schadegg,of Charlotte, Barebones Theatre Group,who flew to California for their wedding.Q - N OCampus Pride, The CharlotteTCoalition forE“We timed it now to be Sbefore the Nov. 4Social Justice, Charlotte Lesbian & Gayelection — just in case,” McLeod, 42, told thePartnership Fund, The Echo Foundation, daily paper.William C. Friday Fellowship for HumanThe number of marriage licenses issuedResources, The Lesbian and Gayhave skyrocketed across California as gay andlesbian couples rush to beat the Nov. 4 election.Still under dispute is whether marriagesbetween same-sex couples performed prior toany passage of the amendment will still berecognized afterward.The California Secretary of State has saidthe amendment would go into effect as soonas Nov. 5, if passed the day before.San Diego County officials told The Union-Tribune that license numbers look more likethe number issued in an average June.“Obviously there is an election in a little morethan two weeks that people are aware of.And ourgood weather is coming to an end too, so thatprobably plays into it as well,”said Dale KellyBankhead, a manager for the No on 8 campaign.TRIANGLEChorus is celebrating their 25th anniversarythis year with a concert,“Divine Secrets ofthe La La Sisterhood,” on Nov. 22 in the sanctuaryof Eno River Unitarian Universalistsee next page >Q - N O T E S8 NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotesQ-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionN O R T H CA R O L I N AFellowship, 4907 Garrett Rd., at 7 p.m.The name of the group, started by Nancyand strategies, retirement and estate planning.Interested parties should send an email toNational Survey on Transgender Discrimination.This survey will collect data on discriminationhuman subjects at the University of Tennessee.The compliance officer’s email isAgnew and Barbara Anderson, is derived from a bobbyleehilburn@yahoo.com.against transgender people in housing, employment,public accommodation, health care, edu-For more information, emailblawson@utk.edu.Judy Grahn poem that reads, in part,“a commonwoman is as common as a common loaf ofSTATEWIDEcation, family life and criminal justice.inaydeno@utk.edu.bread… and will rise.”The Chorus began in the Safe schools targeted in 2009Both surveys are immensely important inearly 1980sQas a feminist chorus and has-evolvedN Ointo a woman-positive choral community thatSTATEWIDE — ENC and a broad coalitionhelping ENC and theTnational organizationsEResearcher requests Sassistancecelebrates all lifestyles and gender identities.of partner organizations are working togethercollect data so that they can better serveSTATEWIDE — Kris Goodrich, a doctoralcandidate in Counseling and HumanThey are committed to musical excellence andto ensure that all children in North Carolina aremembers of the transgender community.social change and perform music that showcases safe at school and need assistance.They areTransgender-indentified or gender nonconformingmay complete the ENC survey engaged in his dissertation research whichServices at Syracuse University, is currentlythe integrity and inherent worth of each of its bringing the discussion about school bullyingexplores the experiences of heterosexualmembers. They celebrate their heroes, reflect onthe personal and political struggles of womenand the disenfranchised and honor creation, creativity,and song. Since 1983, their performanceshave instilled their audiences with pride, resolve,empathy and appreciation.A post-concert reception will follow in theFellowship Hall.For tickets or more information, emailinfocwc@yahoo.com or visit www.commonwomanchorus.net.Family seminar plannedDURHAM — Bobby Hilburn, a financial Transgender survey availableadvisorQat Ameriprise Financial, will hold-focus STATEWIDEN— ENC has announcedOtheT E Smeetings for the LGBT community that examinethe current economy as well as reviewsurvey to address the policy needs of trans-launch of the first North Carolina statewideimportant information regarding domestic identified and gender non-conforming individuals.The survey will ultimately help ENC awarding $100 each to three randomly selected EuaVBg_3d_3d.partners and the LGBT community. He is interestedin holding these in a location that is con-better understand policy issues that areindividuals. For those interested in participating For more information, email Goodrich atvenient to participants. He is able to host agroup in his office or an alternate local location.Topics discussed in seminars include currentsituation, protection planning, wealthmanagement and accumulation, tax planningto the community in the form of roundtableand town hall meetings across the state.The School Violence Prevention Act, whichwould standardize how bullying and harassmentis treated in public schools in NorthCarolina has still not passed. It would includeprotections for those bullied due to sexual orientation,gender identity or expression, amongother characteristics.To be part of the solution, contactCommunity Organizer Rebecca Mann at 919-699-3501 or rebecca@equalitync.org.important to this community.The ENC survey was released just weeksafter the National Center for TransgenderEquality (NCTE) and the National Gay andLesbian Task Force released the Comprehensiveonline at www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=_2faIjkJI399pSWfLSAe6ZGQ_3d_3d.Those who consider themselves transgenderor gender non-conforming in any waymay complete the national survey athttps://online.survey.psu.edu/endtransdiscrim/.Relationships study needs youSTATEWIDE — Iva Naydenova, aUniversity of Tennessee-Knoxville researcher,is conducting an empirical study examiningattitudes, feelings, and experiences associatedwith being a lesbian, gay, or bisexual person.Participants must be at least 18 years old andhave experienced same-sex attraction.The survey is anonymous and takes about 30minutes to complete.As an incentive, all participantswill be given the chance to enter a rafflein this study, visit survey.utk.edu/mrIWeb/mrIWeb.dll?I.Project=PSYCHOLOGYSURVEY. Thiswill take one to the consent form and questionnaire.This research has been approved by theInstitutional Review Board for protection ofparents with LGB-identified children.The research focuses its investigation intothe various factors that impact parents’ experiencesafter their children disclose their identityas lesbian, gay or bisexual.Volunteers will beasked to complete an online research packetwhich includes demographic information and anumber of brief survey instruments. Theinstruments should take approximately 20-25minutes to complete.All information providedon the research survey will be kept confidential.A number of steps have been taken to guaranteeprivacy as explained in an informed consentform which volunteers are required to sign.Participation is totally voluntary and onemay withdraw at any time.To participate, visit https://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=klSmOZak3Vr7k9eskmgoodri@syr.edu or contact his faculty advisor,Dr. Dennis Gilbride, at 315-443-2266 oremail at ddgilbri@syr.edu. ◗info: Announce your community event in NC News Notes.email: editor@q-notes.com or fax 704-531-1361.Q - N O T E SQ - N O T E SNOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotes 9Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

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Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionL E G A LHouse arrest for gay DJ’s second HIV violationeffect, the court has turned this from a crime ofdisclosure to a punishment of behavior. Even ifhe has sex with someone who knows his statusand REQUESTS unprotected sex.Yes, disclosureis a must, but after you share pertinent informa-Raleigh man admits to failing to use instead sentenced him to six months of electronically-monitoredhouse arrest. He will not age of Weaver’s legal troubles, others said he allow people to eat unhealthy foods, drive dan-Opposing the criticisms over news covertionit’s up to the individual to decide. Courts willcondom, violating probationbe allowed to leave his father’s house except should be held responsible for his behavior. gerous cars, smoke and chew tobacco, but notby MattQComer . Q-Notes staff-for probation-approvedNemployment. BrewerO“I don’t care whatTanyone says, if youEmake their own choices regarding Ssexual health?”also ordered Weaver to undergo a psychologicalevaluation.you have committed murder,” a reader com-and North Carolina General Statute 130A-spread HIV without informing your partnerNorth Carolina Administrative Code 10-41RALEIGH — A gay disc jockey in Raleighoriginally convicted of violating HIV infection If Weaver breaks his probation again, he mented at Queerty.com.“It will144(f) address control measuresregarding the spread ofregulations in August has been placed onwill face up to 25 days in jail and prosecutors be a slow death, but eventuallyhouse arrest after admitting he broke proba-will ask for a two-year quarantine in a state the HIV will convert and AIDSHIV and require those withtion orders in early October.On Sept. 6, Q-Notes reported that JoshuaWaldon Weaver, 23, who works in clubs inRaleigh and Wilmington, pleaded guilty tocharges that he failed to disclose his HIVpositivestatus and engaged in unprotectedsex with three people. Weaver was given asuspended jail sentence and placed on probation.The terms of his probation orderedWeaver to use protection when engaging insexual activity.Last month Weaver was arrested afterprison hospital.“His behavior hasn’t changed,” Zellingertold the Raleigh newspaper after the hearing.“We’re trying to address the callousness hisactions have demonstrated.”Zellinger added,“It’s not a witch hunt. It’s adesire to change his behavior to benefit thecommunity.”Weaver’s attorney, Evonne Hopkins, whodeclined to speak with Q-Notes for our originalSept. 6 story, told The News & Observershe’s “confident we will not be back here.”will take it’s toll.Yes there aredrugs that can prolong life, butcure???? No. Josh should bepunished to the FULL extent ofthe law. I find his behaviourdisturbing and disgusting!”Others criticized laws penalizingHIV-positive individuals.“Charging, fining, jailing peoplefor this behaviour also has theconsequence of discouragingothers from being tested forcommunicable diseases —including other sexually transmitteddiseases, hepatitis andtuberculosis — to comply withmeasures intended to curbtheir proliferation.Patient privacy laws haveprevented the Wake CountyPublic Health Departmentfrom discussing or disclosingthe medical specifics ofWeaver’s case.Wake County Public Health officials contactedhis probation officer with information she said.Queerty.com.“Since the crime isWake County resident in 15“Josh is very sorry we’re back in court,” HIV,” read a comment also onJoshua Waldon WeaverWeaver is only the secondthat heQhad possibly violated court orders-by By Oct.N24 — Q-Notes’ deadline for theO‘knowingly’ passing onTHIV, you cannot beEyears to be sentenced for failing Sto follow lawshaving sex without a condom. Assistant Nov. 1 print issue — the story had become a charged unless you are aware of your condition governing the transmission of communicableDistrict Attorney Boz Zellinger told Raleigh’s hot conversation topic on a number of gayfocusedwebsites and blogs.unless you are tested. The road to hell is always 2007, only 16 people statewide were convicted ofand you won’t be aware of your conditiondiseases, according to The News & Observer.InNews & Observer that health officialsbecame aware of the DJ’s violation after he“I’m upset ... [t]hat Q-Notes (Charlotte’s gay paved with the very best of intentions.”violating the communicable disease law. Rathercontracted another sexually transmitted newspaper) published his photo,” UNC-Chapel On gay blog JoeMyGod a reader wrote,“In than HIV, many of the instances were related todisease that could have been prevented bythe use of a condom.Weaver admitted to the violation in courton Oct. 21 and could have faced up to 40 daysin jail. District Court Judge Jacqueline BrewerHill alum and health educator, Trevor Hoppewrote on his blog.“You should know better! I’mso fucking disappointed about this decision. It’sno different that newspapers in the 1950s postingphotos of gay men arrested for having sex.”diseases such as tuberculosis or hepatitis.◗Ed. Note — See the editorial, “Raleigh HIV casewarrants news coverage,” on page 4 of this issue.Q - N O T E SQ - N O T E SNOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotes 11Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionDuo to sing in Charlottefrom page 1F A M I L Ycan be, we have to look at how far we’ve come.Since Stonewall…well, even since MatthewShepard’s death we’ve come a long way.America moves in baby steps but we’re definitelyheaded in the right direction. And, inmy lifetime, I believe we’ll have same-sex marriagein this country.After the success of 2006’s “Till TheEnd Of Time,” did you feel any pressureto equal or better that albumwith “Safe”?J: We felt pressure, but not really for that rea-about how much healing has taken placeWhen I hear him speak and when I look into son. Our fans always come up to us and say J: It’s important to listen to your fans. Theybecause of the work Judy Shepard has done his eyes I see a leader. I see something this “Guys, there’s just something about seeing you told us they wanted to hear our voices more soaroundQthe country.-country desperatelyNneeds — someone whoOlive; there is an energyTthere that’s incredible.”Ewe made that a key point. We Salso embracedIs anti-gay violence an issue you’ve can pull us out of the valley we’re in now.Our thing this time was how can we morehad to face in your own lives or with J: We watched the vice presidential debate and replicate that energy in the recording process.people you’re close to?were struck by the fact that the only thing dM: We decided to go old school. Instead ofdM: We have not had to deal with it directly, Biden and Palin agreed on was their oppositionto gay marriage. But, as frustrating as it down parts and then laying down vocalsbringing in musicians we’ve never met, layingbut we have dealt with it through people whountilhave written us and emailed us letters. Weactually have two binders full of letters wereceived after our film hit Showtime, frompeople talking about all the things they havebeen through. So, this is something that’s veryimportant to us and anything we can do tomake a difference, we’ll do it.How intently have you been followingthe presidential race? Are you guysopenly supporting a candidate?dM: We’ve not been secretive about the factthat we’re voting for Obama for president.it’s perfect, we got together in a room with ournew band and jammed for days to get into thesame head space. About half of the album isrecorded with the band. We played each songfour or five times and picked the best take.How does “Safe” reflect your evolutionas artists?dM: It’s a little more sophisticated, but at thesame time it’s more organic and more laidback.We redid some of our earlier songs andit feels like there is a night-and-day differencebetween them and the original versions.Q - N O T E Sthe idea that less is more. On the first sixsongs there are a lot of pockets of space.dM: This is a constant learning process for us.Our sound continues to grow and evolve justlike we do.How did your cover of U2’s “One”come about for the new album?J: Bono and U2 are a huge inspiration of ours.They charted new territory because they arehighly spiritual — which is why theChristians tried to claim them — but they arecompletely mainstream at the same time.“One” is the perfect example of that.dM: Bono is an incredible person who doesn’tQ - N O T Eput up with any bullshit. The Smessage is tostop focusing on people’s differences and tostart focusing on our similarities and, yes, ourhigher power. Treat others how you want to betreated because we are one human family. Itreally is that easy.Will you be touring extensively topromote “Safe”?dM: Yes, we’re working on setting up a tour inthe new year. In fact, this memorial concert isthe pilot. We want to tour with our band,which is something we haven’t done because itcosts a fortune. We’ve played lots of churchesin the past and now we want to branch intouniversities and community centers.J: We’ve been producing ourselves, so theMatthew Shepard concert will give us an ideaof what the 2009 tour might look like providedthis works. Basically, the show will be the kickoffofthe“Safe”tour.Q - N O T EBecause you are openly Sgay andopenly Christian, it seemed that youwere initially regarded as almost anovelty act in both spheres. Did itfeel like that to you?J: Well, our first big, mainstream exposure wasbeing on cover of The Advocate in 2004. Thatintroduced us as the poster boys for gayChristians reconciling their faith. It’s whateverybody knew us as. The problem was whenwe were being considered for bookings like12 NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotessee Singing on 13Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionF A M I L YSinging couple is gay and Christianfrom page 12Gay Days at Disney or on a cruise ship, someone wouldsay “what about Jews, what about non-believers — weQ - Ndon’t want to upsetOthem.” The thing is, that’s notTwhoE Swe are.dM: The stories about us changed with the release of“This Is Love.”After that, they were talking more about“their love for each other…” Our spirituality became less (available at www.stophate.org/concert):important than the fact that we’re boyfriends.At this$30 general admissionpoint we’ve given up trying to control how we’re perceived.Wejust live in the moment and make the most of Tickets at the door:$15 college students with valid IDevery opportunity that comes.$40 general admissionHow do the two of you balance your private $25 college students with valid IDrelationship with your work as musical andVIP tickets:business partners?$100 (includes priority seating, gift bag, post-showdM: That’s the big money question (laughs). I thinkdessert reception)Jason and I decided a long time ago that if we’re going Proceeds benefit the Matthew Shepard Foundation andto make this work we might as well enjoy it. But, ofCampus Pridecourse it’s a struggle sometimes — all we can do is thebest we can.J: Our biggest arguments are not over our relationshipbut important career decisions. It’s a blessing ina way because we come from different worlds andQ - Ncan play devil’sOadvocate and come to a goodTdecision.It’s what’s helped us come this far withoutE Smajor label backing.dM: Also, this can be lonely work. When our friendsare home on the weekends and want to do something,we’re always on the road. Eventually, they justPhoto Credit: Van Der Kolk Photographystop calling. Jason did this for five years by himself; Idid it for a year and a half. That makes us really tryto be patient because we know we’re lucky to haveeach other. ◗info: www.jasonanddemarco.com“Stop The Hate” Concertwith Jason & deMarco,Randi Driscoll and One VoiceFriday, Nov. 7 at 7:30 p.m.UNC-CharlotteRowe Performing Arts CenterAdvance ticketsQ - N O T E SQ - N O T E SNOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotes 13Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionP O L I T I C SCarolinas leaders fail onLGBT issuesHRC Scorecard ranks U.S. House,Senate membersby Matt Comer . Q-Notes staffWASHINGTON — The nation's largestUniting American Families Act, Tax EquityQ - N O T Efor Domestic Partner and SHealth PlanBeneficiaries Act, the Matthew ShepardLocal Law Enforcement Hate CrimesPrevention Act, the confirmation of conservativeJudge Leslie Southwick and others.LGBT advocacy organization released its 110thCongressional Scorecard on Oct. 22 revealingIn the U.S. House, HRC ranked membersan average failing grade for members of the according to their votes or co-sponsorship onU.S. House and Senate from the Carolinas. 11 pieces of legislation, including the LocalQ - N O T E SThe average Human Rights Campaign Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention(HRC) Congressional Scorecard ranking for Act, the Employment Non-Discriminationmembers of the U.S. House from the Carolinas Act, the Military Readiness Enhancement Actwas 30. Close to two-thirds of the House delegationsreceived a zero. Only four received aNo member of the Carolinas delegationand others.score of 80 or more.scored a perfect 100 in the 110th scorecard.Of the U.S. Senators representing the Rep. David Price (D-NC), Rep. Brad Miller (D-Carolinas, only North Carolina's elected NC) and Rep. James Clyburn (D-SC) rankedofficials — Republican Sens. Elizabeth the highest among their colleagues, with aDole and Richard Burr — received more score of 95 each. Rep. Mel Watt (D-NC) scoredQ - N Othan a zero. For votingTin favor of the reauthorizationof the President’s EmergencySince 1989, HRC has published a scorecardEat 80.SPlan for AIDS Relief, Burr and Doleranking members of Congress for each tworeceived 20 points each. Neither Southyear session of the nation's highest legislativeCarolina U.S. Sens. Jim DeMint (R) nor bodies. The organization says the scorecardLindsey Graham (R) recieved a rating on exists as one way to assist the community inthe scorecard, having voted against everyHRC legislative position.In the U.S. Senate, HRC ranked membersaccording to their votes or co-sponsorshipon seven pieces of legislation, including theassessing the support their elected officialsoffer to LGBT issues.“The lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendercommunity began the process of unravelseeHRC on 15Q - N O T E S14 NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotesQ-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

HRCfrom page 14Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionNORTH CAROLINAU.S. SENATERICHARD BURR (R) 20ELIZABETH DOLE (R) 20P O L I T I C SENC announces speakers, awardeeDURHAM — Statewide LGBT advocacy skills training for activists include: Straight America; Aging in the LGBT Community;ing the damage of the last decade during thisgroup Equality North Carolina hasfor Equality: Inviting and Engaging Allies for Race Matters; Winning Transgender Inclusivetwo-year Congressional session,” said HRCannounced the nationally-respected leaders Change; The Young Advocate: Making aLegislation; Student Caucus; and Speak Out!LegislativeQDirector Allison Herwitt.“The-to speakNat its second annual N.C. EqualityODifference on YourT EMaximizing Sthe Media.advancements made in this Congress on theConference and Gala on Duke University’s Campus; TalkingA full list of panelistsand topic descrip-Matthew Shepard Act, the Employment Non-campus. The group has also announced the Trans: AnDiscrimination Act, domestic partner benefits recipient of its second LegislativeIntroduction to the tions is available onlinefor federal civilian employees and repeal ofLeadership Award.for LGB; Partnerat the ENC website.‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ are critical buildingAmong other regional and local panelists Abuse in LGBTSponsorship infor-blocks upon which we will continue to educateMembers of Congress on the importance conference at Duke University will include Families, and the Law;obtained by contactingand speakers, keynote speakers at the Nov. 15 Relationships; Love,mation may beof federal protections for LGBT Americans.”Kate Kendell of the National Center forIntegration Matters;Kay Flaminio at 919-Of particular note, only one member of the Lesbian Rights, H. Alexander Robinson of The School Violence699-3501 orCarolinas delegation, Rep. David Price, votedthe National Black Justice Coalition andPrevention Act andkay@equalitync.org.in favor of legislation that would have providedequal family benefits to LGBT federal civil-Transgender Rights.being: Equality as ation, including registra-Mara Keisling of the National Center for You!; LGBT Well-For more informaianemployees.That evening at the Nasher Museum of Force for Bettertion costs, sponsorships,student rates andNo Republican U.S. Senator in SouthArt, Rep. Paul Luebke will be honored for his Health; Home TownCarolina or Republican House members ofleadership on LGBT issues with the group’s Advantage: Organizingincome-challengedeither state received more than a zero. OnlyLegislative Leadership Award.in Smaller Cities; Exposing One of America’s rates, visit equalitync.org/conference. ◗one Democrat, Rep. Mike McIntyre (D-NC),Breakout sessions which help to engage Greatest Moral Failures: Growing Up Gay in — compiled by Lainey Millen, Q-Notes staffwho represents Eastern North Carolina,received a zero. Rep. Heath Shuler (D-NC), inWesternQNorth Carolina, received the lowest- N O T E Sscore of 10. ◗110TH CONGRESSIONALSCORECARDNORTH CAROLINAU.S. HOUSEG.K. BUTTERFIELD (D) 70BOB ETHERIDGE (D) 55WALTER JONES (R) 0QDAVID PRICE (D)-95N O T E SVIRGINIA FOXX (R) 0HOWARD COBLE (R) 0MIKE MCINTYRE (D) 0ROBIN HAYES (R) 0SUE MYRICK (R) 0PATRICK MCHENRY (R) 0HEATH SHULER (D) 10MEL WATT (D) 80BRAD MILLER (D) 95SOUTH CAROLINAU.S. SENATEJIM DEMINT (R) 0LINDSEY GRAHAM (R) 0SOUTHQCAROLINA- N O T E SU.S. HOUSEHENRY BROWN (R) 0JOE WILSON (R) 0J. GRESHAM BARRETT (R) 0BOB INGLIS (R) 0JOHN SPRATT (D) 65JAMES CLYBURN (D) 95NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotes 15Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for Reproduction16 NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotesH E A L T H CA R EThe most effective ways totreat and prevent acneQ - N OImage is everythingTfor a lot of guys.Epersonal in-home use.“We’ve Sbeen able toWhether you want to look good for a date, take the tried and true anti-bacterial benefit ofimpress people at the nightclub or present a heat and improve its effect and applicationprofessional image in the workplace, the last using highly advanced pulse technology similarto laser. The result — faster, clearer skin atthing you need is for a pimple to appear onyour face.Whether you’re 25 or 45, it’s boundto happen though. Just by their verynature, guys are prone to pimples.They spend a lot of time at the gym,which is a hot, humid environment;and they’re pretty active so they sweata lot. When sweat combines with skinoils, dirt and bacteria get trapped inthe pores, often leading to blackheadsand pimples.But there are things you can do tominimize the appearance of facialblemishes. And everyone knows we’reall going to have to look our best duringthe upcoming holidays.Q - N O TIf youE Saren’t doing so already, take these preventivemeasures:Drink plenty of water.Staying hydrated (drinking at least64 ounces of water daily) helps detoxifythe body from the inside out.Exercise regularly.This will increase blood circulationand oxygen flow to the skin, whichmay help with acne prevention.Shower immediately aftersweating.This will prevent dirt and bacteria that the touch of a button. It’s truly amazing.”gets trapped in the pores from turning intoWhat makes ThermaClear so effective is itspimples.proprietary thermal pulse technology that neutralizesacne causing bacteria, using a uniqueEven if you follow this process religiously,there always seem to be some pimples you “Two Second” treatment application time. Thecan’t prevent. Once those appear, you may be device is able to quickly treat visible surfacetempted to slather on creams and gels.Yet blemishes, as well as those blemishes that areQ - N Ooften times these determinedTpimples seemEbeginning to form deep down Sunder the skin,almost topical resistant. Even the best known and neutralize them before they ever surface.topical brands are inconvenient to use, seem to To use, simply turn on the device, place thetake a long time to penetrate into the skin, and treatment tip on your pimple and press thecan often lead to discoloration or irritation. pulse button to send healing thermal energyProminent dermatologists have found that directly where the bacteria is forming.“Thisthe most effective way to treat acne is with neutralizes the bacteria so it ceases to multiply,and allows your body to win the warheat, a practice almost as old as time. Todaythe celebrity jet setters use ‘laser,’‘light,’ or the against the blemish. Treatment time is onlylatest, thermal pulse technology, to improve two seconds per pimple,” says Da Silva.the skin clearing effects of heat. But it all startedcenturies ago when people would travel to ThermaClear was proven to treat pimplesIn an FDA-reviewed clinical study,volcanic sulfer springs and submerge their quickly, safely and effectively, clearing pimplesbodies in the hot water to cure their acne. in as little as 24 hours. Available without a prescriptionfor home use, ThermaClear givesPeople don’t do that anymore, but in Russia,teenagers have been known to place extinguishedcigarette butts on their pimples to grade treatment for pimples and breakouts.you a fast, easy and affordable professionalmake them go away. In Argentina, they’ll rub a And unlike those old-fashioned treatments,ring until it gets warm then place it on the you don’t have to keep buying a new supply orblemish.new expensive components every few weeks,Q - N O“We have things aTlot easier here in theEsince this device can be used Sover and overUnited States,” says Luiz Da Silva, inventor of again without any monthly tip replacement. ◗ThermaClear, an FDA-cleared professional info: www.acneheattreatment.comgrade medical device that’s now approved for— courtesy of ARAcontentIn our next issue:Unique Home DiningTo advertise, call 704.531.9988 or email adsales@q-notes.com.Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

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Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionR E L I G I O NQ - N O T E SQ - N O T E SHickory Grove Baptist Church will play host to the National Christian ApologeticsConference the same weekend as a pro-gay training at UNC-Charlotte.18 NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotesButting headsStop the Hate Matthew ShepardConcert and training to competewith anti-gay leaders, speakers atChristian conferenceby Matt Comer . Q-Notes staffCHARLOTTE — Come Friday, Nov. 7, theCity of Charlotte will play host to two largescaleevents diametrically opposed to eachother.On one side of town, Hickory Grove BaptistQ - N OChurch will kick off theirTNational ConferenceE Son Christian Apologetics featuring some of themost infamous anti-gay leaders in the nation.Speakers like Focus on the Family presidentJames Dobson and commentator Chuckbe doable.”Colson will take the stage to discuss a variety In Q-Notes’ Sept. 20 issue, local gay leaderof issues, including “the Christian worldview,” Phil Hargett said Dobson’s tactics have thehomosexuality and marriage,“sexual abstinence”and more.port LGBT equality.intended effect of causing more people to sup-Just north of the church, LGBT and gayfriendlypeople will come together to remem-Dobson and those aligned with him use“It’s my opinion that when Jamesber the life and legacy of Matthew Shepard, their rigid interpretation of Christianity tothe openly gay, 21-year-old University ofdeny the very authenticity of people who areWyoming student killed after a brutal antigayattack in October 1998. Through thecause of gay equality,” Hargett said.“Theygay, he and his ilk unwittingly help theweekend, students and campus leadersend up motivating the majority of fairmindedAmericans to stand up and sayacross the Southeast will join in a Stop theHate program training.‘enough’ to the use of one group’s religiousScheduled to speak at Hickory Grove on beliefs to deny another group their basicFriday night, Dobson will likely address a authenticity and equality.”Q - N Omultitude of issues, includingTthose for whichEThe Stop the Hate Concert Srememberinghe is most despised in the LGBT community. Matthew Shepard’s memory and legacy willThe radical right leader and host of a conservativeradio talk show has for years promoted This issue’s cover story has more details ontake place on the campus of UNC-Charlotte.lies and hate toward gay people, according to the benefit and its performers.gay activists.Q-Notes was not given media credentials forDobson has said that being gay is an “identitycrisis that occurs too early to remember.”He also said he doesn’t think LGBT peopletruly want marriage equality.“I don’t believehomosexuals really want to marry, most ofthem,” he once said.“Homosexuals can be committedto each other and they have freedom tobehave in the ways they desire but they cannotbe a family and they cannot be married.”He’s also said that “homosexuals are notcommitted for life” and used debunkedresearch to say that gay people “have as manyas 300 to 1000 partners in a lifetime.”Other infamous, anti-gay Dobson statementsinclude “I think [gays] want to destroymarriage and then recreate it according totheir own interpretation with all the benefitsbut none of the commitments that mean somuch to children,” and “How about groupmarriage? A marriage between daddies andlittle girls and a man and his donkeys?Anything that can be linked to civil rights willthe National Christian Apologetics Conference,despite requesting such more than two weeksbefore the event. Further updates regarding theconference and Matthew Shepard Concert,including pictures, will be available at Q-NotesOnline, www.q-notes.com.◗Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionD O L L A R S A N DMoney Mattersby J. Lynn Davidson, CFP, CLU . Contributing WriterInvesting in the wake of an electionS E N S ETheQmarkets are unpredictable —-rising were electedN(Bill Clinton inO T E Sand falling. In any election year, an additionalelement of uncertainty is added to the 15.30 percent). However, the two worst six-They’re here in1996, +18.64 percent; John Kennedy in 1960,investment mix. Investors can only speculate month periods also occurred underQ-Notes.as to the outcome of the presidential election Democratic Presidents (Harry Truman inin November. The question then becomes 1948, -8.03 percent; Jimmy Carter in 1976, -To advertise, call 704.531.9988 or emailwhat to make of the results from an investmentstandpoint. The answer, according to Another caution3.54 percent).adsales@q-notes.com.recent history, is that the impact on investors Market analysts also may try to determinewhich industries or types of stocks• • •may be limited.The immediate reaction to electionwill perform best based on the election outcome.This may be a factor to consider inresults in the first weeks after the election,appear to work moderately in favor ofmaking investment decisions, but certainlyRepublicans. In the post-war era (beginning not the only one. Among the uncertaintieswith the election of Democrat Harry Truman that must be accounted for is that policiesin 1948), the stock market (as measured by promoted by a candidate may never becomethe Standard & Poor’s 500 stock index, an reality once they are thrown into the mix ofunmanaged index of stocks) rose an average Washington politics.of 2.25 percent in years when RepublicansYou can expect to see a fair amount ofcaptured the presidency (nine times).media attention over the coming monthsMarketsQgained 1.31 percent from Election-about theNprospects for investors based onO T E SDay to the end of the election year, on average,in the six times Democrats won the pres-markets. To determine appropriate invest-election results. There is no way to predict theidential race.ment options for yourself, speak with yourA mixed bag of resultsfinancial advisor. ◗In the past, the situation changed over This information is provided for informationallonger time spans. Using those same 15 postwarpresidential elections as a measuring nature and should not be applied or relied uponpurposes only and is intended to be generic instick, history shows that over the first sixin any particular situation without the advicemonths after elections, markets actually fared of your tax, legal and/or your financial advisor.better when Democrats won compared to info: 704-987-9794 . email: lynn.j.davidson@ampf.comRepublicans. The average return of the S&P500 over the six months after the election was5.61 percent when Democrats won and 2.17percent when Republicans were elected.Looking over the four-year period (fromJan. 1 post-election year through Dec. 31 ofthe last full year of each term), the advantageremains with Democrats. The average fouryearreturn when Democrats won the nation’shighestQoffice was 43.51 percent, while-theN O T E Saverage when Republicans prevailed was31.80 percent.The one thing that can be said with certaintyis that there is no way to attribute marketperformance to election results. Any numberof factors, from world events to the economicenvironment to other market conditions,will likely have far more impact than theparty of the officeholder. The two best sixmonthreturns occurred when Democrats• • •Support thecompanies andorganizationsthat rallyfor you!Q - N O T E SNOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotes 19Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionS O U T H CA R O L I N AFaculty members debateBoy Scout donationsform that the boys complete to join the scoutsthat says ‘sexual preference,’ nor is there anysuch blank on the form that adults must completeto volunteer. If a prospective adult leaderwere to write ‘I only perform sexual intercoursewith women, in the missionary posi-Q - N OCollege of CharlestonTprofessors atEtion’ in the margin of his volunteer Sform, heopposing ends of debatewould be rejected immediately. This is becausethere is no sex in the scouts, of any sort, ever.by Matt Comer . Q-Notes staff“Nor are there any drugs or alcohol, nor anysmoking, nor gambling, nor cussing, nor spitting,nor fighting, nor any vice whatsoever. InCHARLESTON — Two College ofCharleston faculty members are speaking out fact, because most troops enforce bans on electronicgadgets of all sorts, including iPods,on opposite ends of the debate over supportfor the Boy Scouts of America.there’s no rock-and-roll. If a prospective adultOn Oct. 20, a letter was sent to college facultyannouncing the school’s upcoming plans margin of his application,“I like beer” (which Ivolunteer (such as myself) were to write in thefor a United Way fundraiser, according to The do) he would be rejected immediately. Is thisCharleston City Paper’s Press Time blog and discrimination? Yes, and I thank heaven for it.”writer Greg Hambrick.Dozens of Boy Scout leaders and youthFaculty member Herb Silvermanmembers have been dismissed from theresponded to the announcement toScouting program. Most of the dismissalsexplain his long-held opposition to thehave been the result of anti-gay policies,United Way because of their support ofalthough membership and leadershipScouting and its officialstandards also bar atheistsor agnostics.anti-gay policies.Q - N O“Many UnitedT ESThe official BoyWays throughoutScout policy,the country (notpassed as a resolutionfrom theours) have a policyof not funding anygroup’s Nationalorganization that dis-Executive Board incriminates on the basisFebruary 2002, states,of religion or sexual orientation,”Silverman wrote.“Asinconsistent with the tradi-“homosexual conduct isfar as I can tell, earmarkingtional values espoused in thecontributions to some of theScout Oath and Law and thatmany fine non-discriminatoryan avowed homosexual cannotorganizations in United Way will not work.serve as a role model for the values of theThe United Way then simply allocates aOath and Law” and “conduct of both Scoutshigher proportionof themust be inand Scoutersnon-restrictedcompliancecontributions to the others.”with the Scout Oath and Law.”But another faculty member, RobertLess often discussed in news coverage ofDillon, defensively responded to Silverman. He gay issues in Scouting is the fact that youthQ - N Othinks that the Boy ScoutsThave a right to discriminate,as evidenced by the 2000 Supreme their gay sexual orientation, despite years ofEmembers are summarily dismissed Sdue toCourt ruling in Boy Scouts v. Dale.membership or whether such action might“There is no sex in the BSA, period,” Dillon inflict emotional or psychological harm onwrote.“No heterosexuality, no homosexuality, the youth. Where a boy who openly states henone, end of story. There’s no blank on the has a girlfriend will be allowed to stay inScouting, a boy who might state he has aboyfriend will be asked to leave. ◗Ed. Note — This writer was dismissed from hisScouting program in Winston-Salem at the age14 in December 2000, under the Boy Scouts’policy on homosexual members and leaders.Q - N O T E S20 NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotesQ-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionC O M M U N I T YDrag Ragby Miss Della . Contributing WriterPageants, can’t live without them, ya know!Oh,Qhere we go again. I know if you-follow Starr. SheNwon every category.O T E Spageants you already know what I’m talking Her RU was Sierra Santana who came out of aabout — another mysterious outcome at little break for competition. Emery also justMiss Gay America. If I didn’t want to include won Miss Libra at Night Owls in Gastonia. Herall the news from as many national pageants RU was London Dior. I also saw Emery in aas I could get my hands on and if I didn’t show recently at Chasers along with Angelarespect a majority of the former winners, I’d Lopez and our own Chocolate (formerlyjust drop reporting on MGA all together. Andrea Carlisle). The 16th Miss CosmopolitanSuch is my dilemma. Victoria DePaula finally took place in Hickory at Club Cabaret recently.won. I’m happy for her. After all, she didn’t Alexxa Chandler won and her RUs were Kellyjudge herself. But all the reports I got say Brooks (what was I just saying about comingthat based on what they saw, she shouldn’t off your hiatus?) and Stephanie Collins.have even made Top 10. They have killed it. Congrats also go out to Amanda Blake whoOnce again. Runners-up included Chantel was recently crowned the first Miss GayReshae, Coti Collins, Alyssa Edwards and Carolinas in Columbia, S.C. — a pageant thatChina Collins. Rounding out the Top 10 were will alternate between North and SouthJade Sinclair,Sue Nami,Jessica Jade,Tatyana Carolina and is open to Carolina residentsVoce and Alana Steele. I hear I missed a duet only. The Mr. and Miss Warehouse 29 contestsby Hot Chocolate and Tasha Kohl—now were recently held and Mykel Knight-Addamsthere’s something to regret! At least the Miss won with RU Mystic Parque and for the ladies,NorthQCarolina pageant won several awards-Orlando ChanelNwon, with RUs Crystal FrosteO T E Sfor Prop Design and such; Scorpio and formerMiss Tiffany Storm, along with our out-Hats off to Brooklyn Dior who recentlyand Cheetah Shaw.going Miss, Coti Collins, worked hard tocelebrated 25 years in the business with amake that week-end special and memorable, special show at Central Station. Joiningand it worked!Brookie in the show were Kasey King, AngelaSpeaking of Hot Chocolate, she was just Lopez, Amber Rachelle St. James, LuAnnefeatured [again] in Robin Leach’s columnLandreth, Chea Allen, Jamie Monroe, Kianaabout the life of celebrities in Las Vegas after Lane and a scandalous Keshia LaShawnseeing illusionist Criss Angel’s Believe show at Wellington who had on very little costumethe Luxor. Proud Larry was photographed that evening.with the hunky Angel and there was anotherThe column this time is dedicated to apicture of a headdress that his female alter ego keen gay businessman by the name of Rickwears at the club Piranha.Wildes who owned Scorpio and Chasers andShame on me for not mentioning theother local establishments. He also broughtreturn of Chanel Dupree, one of my all-time Miss NC America to Charlotte after manyfavorites, to Miss Continental back inyears of being in Durham at the old PowerSeptember. She was resplendent from head-totoein what else — Chanel, my darling! And, doing things, but people always knew whereCompany. Rick had his own certain way ofshe did a gorgeous old school ballad in it, too. they stood with him. He helped cultivate manyThe fashionistaQis back!-female impersonatorsNwho went on to achieveO T E SThe rest of the Rag is dedicated to local local, state and national success. He will benews this time — like the results of the Miss sorely missed. ◗Hide-A-Way contest. Congrats are due Emery info: Drop me a line, OK? . The TeaMissD@yahoo.comQ - N O T E SNOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotes 21Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for Reproduction22 NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotesB E H I N D BA R SGay rights on lockdownAn inmate details his ongoingto receive publications that show nudity orcourt battle with the N.C. Dept.sexual activity. The Advocate certainly didn’tof Correctionshave that.Q - N OexQlusiveT ESGranted,there mightbe a picture ofby Joseph Urbaniakan attractiveSpecial to Q-Notesguy in aspeedo or[Ed. Note: Joseph Urbaniak,thong, butan inmate at Harnettthat wasn’tCorrectional Institution inany moreLillington, N.C., is thescandalousplaintiff in a pending lawsuitagainst the N.C.the otherthan some ofDepartment of Correctionsmen’s magazinesthatto secure the right of LGBTprisoners to possess nonsexual,LGBT-themedprison show-came into thebooks, newspapers anding women inmagazines. In this exclusivescanty bikinis,and thosefeature, he gives his accountof the circumstances thatmagazinesQ - N Oprecipitated this importantT ESwere allowed.court battle.]The policy also says that a publication“Inmate Urbaniak! Report to the H-Block cannot be denied just because staff may disagreewith its contents or find it repugnant.Control Desk! Immediately!” The dorm officer’svoice echoed over the intercom on the That’s the actual word used in the policy,yard at Harnett Correctional. When I got to the “repugnant.” Obviously, the staff found myControl Desk, the dorm officer gruffly said, magazine repugnant.“Report to the captain’s office.”“I’ll appeal.” I filled out the necessaryAs I walked across the prison to the captain’soffice, I got that queasy, knotted-up, publication review committee would seepaperwork and left his office, sure that thebutterflies-in-the-stomach feeling that you the error in the captain’s ways and approveget when you’re driving down the highway my magazine.and you see a state trooper’s flashing blueA few days later I was again summoned bylights in the mirror, and you know you’re the captain. This time he held up the latestbeing pulled over. I tried to think of what I issue of Out,telling me it had been disapproved.Other publications followed: The Frontmight have done wrong to merit this audiencewith one of the unit officials. I couldn’t Page, The New York Blade,other issues ofOutthink of anything.and The Advocate.When I arrived at the office I knocked on I began to get paranoid, fearing that anythe door.“Come in,” a voice yelled. I went in day now a couple of officers would come andQ - N Oand sat in a chair. TheTcaptain sat behind aEsearch through my locker, hoping Sto find moregray metal industrial-type desk with papers “repugnant” material. I might even get lockedand folders scattered on it. He was an older up in Segregation. It seemed like I threatenedman close to retirement, with skin like wellwornleather and short gray hair.After all, here I was, an openly gay man inthe sanctity of the institution.“You are being denied a magazine that their prison, receiving gay publications. Icame in the mail.You’ve got three choices.You could lie on my bunk and read a gay news orcan throw it away, mail it home or appeal the entertainment magazine in sight of everyone.denial.” He held up a copy of The Advocate. That might give the impression that the prison“Why is it being denied? I’ve been getting condoned such repugnant behavior, and wethat magazine for years.”certainly couldn’t have that!“It was denied up front,” he said, referring to Over the next several months I was calledsome nameless person in the administration. to the captain’s office again and again. More“But why was it denied?”magazines were denied. Books that had theThe captain paused a moment, then said words “gay” or “homosexual” in the title, oras if it pained him to do so,“Because it’sshowing men in some sort of embrace, werehomosexual in nature.”likewise denied. Even books that had nothingto do with gay issues or homosexuality“And? That’s against policy?”“You can’t receive homosexual material,” he were disapproved, only because they came atemphatically replied.the same time as gay-related books — guiltQ - N O“Why not? I am aThomosexual.”Eby association.S“Like I said, you can throw it away, mail it Everything was appealed to the reviewhome or appeal. What do you want to do?” committee and, to my surprise, everything“But I don’t understand why I can’t have a was denied.magazine that I’ve been getting for years withoutany problems.”committee, asking them to explainI began writing letters to the reviewexactly“I said,” he declared in a louder voice,“youcan throw it away, mail it home or appeal it.Now what do you want to do?”I sat back in the chair, feeling numb andgetting angry. According to Department ofCorrections policy, inmates are not allowedwhat in the last issue of Out,or in a novelabout two men falling in love while tryingto break into the film industry inHollywood, or in any of the other publicationsdenied, they found so distasteful as tosee Inmate on 23Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionInmate details ongoing battlefrom page 24B E H I N D BA R Swarrant their being banned.stressed-out, nervous wreck. I’d leave the captain’soffice angry, upset and trembling with sharing my problem and my fears withcode — 42 U.S.C. sect. 1983) against theappeals and subsequent denials. I began (known as a 1983 for the section in the U.S.The only reply I received was the standardform letterQciting the prison’s policy. No-explanationas to exactly how the policy applied to my property and send me to a Segregation istration and review committee were mis-involved in denying me my gay-related pub-the fear thatNthey were coming to tear throughOother inmates, whoTagreed that the admin-EDepartment of Corrections Sand all its staffa particular book or magazine, just a statementthat it did. They were saying, in effect,I kept a log of my meetings with the nating against me and I should do some-Amendment and due process rights. I hadcell. Some days I couldn’t even eat.applying the policy, that they were discrimilications,citing violation of my First“Trust us. It applies, it applies.”captain, including the publications denied, thing about it.learned how to do this from my 13 years ofThrough all of this I was becoming aconversations I had with the staff, andIn December 2006 I filed a civil actionsee Prisoner on 24• • • Out to Eat • • •Q - N O T E SQ - N O T E SQ - N O T E SNOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotes 23Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionB E H I N D BPrisoner shares his sordid storyfrom page 23A R Sincarceration and reading law books& Observer in Raleigh published a frontpagearticle about my lawsuit. The article stands because it is still pending. But since I who want me to avert my eyes. But there areI can’t discuss much about where the case being looked at, and I don’t disrespect thoseexplaining the procedure.If theyQdidn’t want to tell me exactly-what was pickedNup by The Associated PressOand filed the suit, I haven’tThad any trouble gettingEplenty of exhibitionists who Sdon’t mind onein those publications warranted their disapproval,maybe they could explain it to a fed-the state and on many news source webNone of this is about trying to get photos— Joe Urbaniak was sentenced in 1995 tofeatured in practically every newspaper in my magazines and books.bit, and neither do I. Prison isn’t all bad. ◗eral judge.sites. It even made USA Today.Not long or magazines showing naked men. The policy 20 years imprisonment for indecent libertiesTo represent me, the court appointed after, my attorney was speaking about the is clear on those kinds of publications and Iwith a child and crime against nature.North Carolina Legal Service, Inc., a state-case with a talk show host on a local NPR am not fighting against it. I simply want to beHe hopes to be released in 2012. He wasfunded group of attorneys who representinmates in North Carolina prisons andjails. I received a letter from one of theirattorneys, Dawn Ducoste, who congratulatedme on the clarity and thoroughness ofmy complaint, and agreed that my rightshad been violated.To my surprise, in August 2007 The Newsradio station.Needless to say, I became something of acelebrity here at Harnett Correctional. For thenext few weeks, when I walked past smallgroups of guys on the yard, I would hear,“That’s the guy who was in the paper — theone who filed the lawsuit against the D.O.C,”and they would look at me with awe.allowed to receive publications that are aboutthe gay community, its lifestyle, health, entertainmentand history.As for seeing men in the nude, I can seethat here everyday when I take a shower,which is ironic. Who wouldn’t rather see livenaked men as opposed to a picture in a magazine?Of course, not all the men in here likeAroundThe Carolinasawarded Second Place for Memoir in the 2003PEN Prison Writing Awards and has recentlyearned his B.A. in Business Administration.He has requested that Q-Notes publish hiscontact information in hopes of findingpenpals. Write him at P.O. Box 1569, Lillington,NC 27546. All correspondence should includehis inmate number: 0415899.Q - N O T E SQ - N O T E SQ - N O T E S24 NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotesQ-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionQQueen -City NArea Real OEstate te & T Home ServicesE SQ - N O T E SQ - N O T E SQ - N O T E SNOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotes 25Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionQ - N O T E SQ - N O T E SQ - N O T E SQ - N O T E S26 NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotesQ-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Egg-citing appetizersHoliday treat recipespage 29Holiday drinksNot for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionSpice up your warm delightspage 31Q - N O T E SNoted . Notable . Noteworthy . LGBT News & ViewsVolume 23 . Number 13 November 1 . 2008 www.q-notes.com Page 27An interview with an ex-Navycouple in love, and in pornby Benjamin NelsonFor Navy officers Albert and Robert, beinggay at sea wasn’t the fantasy that porn directorslike Chi Chi LaRue made it out to be. But,even though the guys weren’t exactly swabbingeach other’s poop decks in the galley, they stillfell in love.QAnd now, after leaving the service,- N O T E Slife is imitating lascivious art for these twosexy veterans.The pair recently filmed a video for anamateur adult website, onthehunt.com, to showthe rest of the world just how hot it is when gay you think 2009 holds for us?sailors ride the stern. In addition, they are the A: I think 2009 has the potential to have somefirst couple to be featured on the log-in page at positive outcomes for the gay community. Willpopular gay hook-up site manhunt.net.there be big changes? Probably not, but anyI chatted with them about growing up change is a good thing.down south, the upcoming election and what If McCain becomes president, how doit was like to have porn star Jeremy Hall shoot you think that will affect gays in thetheir video — and join them in the sack! military?You’re both from Texas. What was it A: If Sen. McCain becomes president, I don’tlike growing up gay in the Lone Star feel the military will change one bit. The mentalitythat a homosexual shouldn’t be allowedState?Albert: It was tough to be gay in Texas. I don’t to do the jobs of those who happen to be heterosexualwill not change anytime soon.think I really accepted being gay until I wasfinally on my own and in the military. What about Obama?Albert and Robert: ‘We’re enjoying ourHow did you two first meet?A: I would have to say the same thing for Sen.15 minutes of fame, that’s for sure.’Robert:QWe first met in the service.-Obama thatNI said for Sen. McCain. There’sOnoT EA: It was something we thought Swe would likeA: We started talking a little bit, and thenpossible change for a homosexual in today’sto do. We saw the ad on Manhunt and thoughtstarted hanging out. One thing led to another military coming anytime soon.it might be fun.and two years later, we’re still together.R: It’s sad but true.R: We applied, not thinking we would beWhat was it like being gay in the Veteran’s Day is right around the corner.As veterans yourselves, what doesWas it nerve-racking to havecalled up for a shoot. But then we were!Navy? Was “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” asexbig issue for you to get around?A: Gay in the military? That doesn’t exist, doesit (laughs)?R: Being gay in the military is a big challenge.There are people who don’t mind the gay communityin the military, but there are thosewho do mind it and feel that those individualsare a lesser soldier or sailor because of theirsexuality. Gay men and women have to be ontheir guard, always in fear of getting in troubleor scrutinized.Were there a lot of guys in a similarsituation as yours?R: Are you kidding me? The military has morehomosexuals than society would like tobelieve.A: There’s always a place to go to hang outwith the rest of the gay community, to let offsome steam and enjoy the company of thosewho deal with the same thing on a daily basiswhile in the military.With the election approaching, manyLGBT people fear disaster. What dothis holiday mean to you?R: The holiday means that I can look backproudly on what we did for our country andthe sacrifices we made.A: Robert and I have both done our part forour country.What made you want to do amateurporn?with each other while beingfilmed?A: Well, in the start, yes, it was, but after afew minutes the camera seemed to fadeaway and we just went with the flow andperformed as we would normally performsee Ex-Navy on 28Q - N O T E SQ-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for Reproduction28 NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotesQ - L I V I N GWinter in the Caribbean?Cruise planner offers tips on how to popular Mexican destination for gay touristsescape the winter chilland among Mexico’s safest. With almost 20gay bars and nightclubs and even more gayfriendlyhotels and restaurants, Sgay folks areQ - N Oby Matt Comer .TQ-Notes staffEmore than sure to find a hot guy — uh, IEver feel like you just want summer to last mean — a hot place to party.all year? Not ready for thechilly air of autumn andwinter? This November,December and January hopon a cruise into the warmand sultry Caribbean!Alex Jones of CruisePlanners in Raleigh saysthere’s loads of favorite gaydestinations. If cruising(no, not that kind silly)isn’t your thing, hang out inthe very gay Ft. Lauderdale,Miami and Key West.If your itchin’ for someof that Caribbean flare,hop on that boat and headQ - N Oout to sea.T E S“Anywhere in the Caribbean is nice,” saysJones reminds his customers that the fallJones, but as gay people there are a few places and winter seasons are some of the best timesto watch out for and other places where you to go on a cruise. The weather is nice and itcan be safer.” Just to be clear, Jamaaica is one serves as a great holiday gift or just as anof those don’t-go getaways!excuse to get out of the normal hustle andBelow are just a small few of the gay destinationsJones suggests:For more information on cruises,bustle of the holiday season.U.S. Virgin Islandscontact Alex Jones at Cruise Planners, AmexConsisting of the islands of St. Thomas, Travel Services at 919-933-9802 or atSt. Croix and St. John, the U.S. Virgin Islands cruisesandtravelbyalex.com. ◗are prime tourist destinations that offerbountiful opportunities for fun and safety forgay travelers.Gay cruise linesHawaiiThere are a number of gay and lesbiancompanies specializing in travelWant some Pacific Rim fun? (There you goagain — you and your dirty mind! Shame.) and cruises especially for gay men andLike the U.S.Virgin Islands, Hawaii offerslesbians. Try these:plenty of opportunities for tourism.AtlantisAttractions such as live volcanos and traditionalnative foods andwww.atlantisevents.comQ - N O Tcelebrations are perfectfor any member of the “family.”www.davidtours.comEDavidSPorta VallartaOliviaLocated on the Pacific coast of Mexico,www.olivia.comPorta Vallarta proves to be one of the mostEx-Navy couple bares allfrom page 27time and all, we thought we could save thatfor another shoot.How did you guys become the firstcouple to appear on Manhunt’s log-inpage?R: We were completely shocked to see our pic-in our own home.ture on the start-up screen for all of the gayExcept that porn star Jeremy Hall community to see when they log intowas filming and asked to join in on Manhunt. It’s exciting though!the fun.A: It has definitely helped our profile!R: (Laughs) That’s true. We don’t usually have How does it feel knowing your photoJeremy Hall in our bedroom.gives guys a hot send-off before theyWhat was your initial reaction when venture into the steamy world ofhe propositioned you?internet hookups?Q - N OA: We laughed becauseTit was so sudden, butEA: We’re enjoying our 15 minutes, Sthat’s forwe decided to let him in on the fun.sure.What was it like?Would you ever bare all on cameraA: Jeremy is hot.again?R: It was fun and I’m sure we could have A: Yes, we wouldn’t mind doing it all again anddone a whole lot more, but being the first maybe a little more.If you could choose anyone, whowould be the third party to join youthe second time around?R: Jeremy Hall. When you see the video, you’llknow why.A: I’ll second Jeremy Hall. He’s hot and has aQ-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Q - L I V I N GEgg-citing holiday appetizers 101When holiday entertaining has you scramblingfor new ideas to make your guests feel jolly, 1/4 teaspoon salt2 teaspoons baking powderthink appetizers.AQtraditional menu like-baked 2 cups choppedNpecans or almondsO T E Sham or smoked turkey, served with classic1 cup (about 4 oz.) chopped dried datesfavorites, can be made into a more festive experienceby easily selecting a variety of mouthwater-cherries, halved1 cup (about 8 oz.) red and/or green glaceing appetizers to complement the meal.2/3 cup (about 4 oz.) semi-sweet chocolateWhen deciding what appetizers to serve, morselsconsider the flow and arrangement of the 6 eggsparty. Where will guests be eating? If there’s 1 cup sugarlimited seating, reconsider appetizers that 1 teaspoon vanillarequire a knife and fork. Hand-held, bite-size Additional halved glace cherries orconfectioners’ sugar,optionalPrepartion:In large bowl, stirtogether flour, bakingpowder and salt. Stir innuts, fruits and chocolatemorsels. Set aside.In small mixing bowlat medium speed, beatQ - Ntogether eggs, sugarOandT E Svanilla until well blended.Fold into reservedflour mixture. Pour intogreased and floured 9-cup fluted tube pan.appetizers are usually easier for guests ifthey’ll be standing and mingling.Variety is also important. Select appetizerrecipes that have different flavors, textures andtemperatures. A combination of hot and coldfood items will please any palate. Offering differentstyles like bread or cracker options,toothpick or skewer bites and hand-held fingerfoods is a simple way to add variety.TraditionalQrecipes, such as rumaki,-meatballsand deviled eggs, are still party favoritesN O T E Stoo. However, it’s easy to give them a new flare.Try this new Pesto Deviled Eggs recipe whenyou’re entertaining this holiday season.Pesto Deviled EggsServes: 12Ingredients:6 hard-cooked eggs3 Tbsp. grated Parmesan cheese2 Tbsp. plain low-fat yogurt1 tsp. basil leaves, crushed1/2 tsp. garlic powderPreparation:Cut eggs in half lengthwise. Remove yolks andset whites aside. Mash yolks with fork. Stir inremaining ingredients until well blended. Refillwhites, using about one tablespoon yolk mixturefor each egg half. Chill to blend flavors.Nutty Chip Fruit CakeServes:Q12- N O T E SIf you hate fruitcake, you’ll probably enjoythis cake. Rather than bitter citron, this cake isflavored with nuts, dried dates, candied cherriesand chocolate chips. If you don’t have candiedcherries on hand, you can use more datesor substitute raisins or dried apricots, figs orprunes for the cherries. No fluted tube pan?Use an angel food cake pan or a 9-inch tubedspringform pan.Ingredients:2 cups all-purpose flourBake in preheated300° F oven until lightlybrowned and caketester inserted in centercomes out clean, about50 to 60 minutes. Cool on wire rack 10 minutes.Remove from pan and cool completely.Garnish with additional halved cherries ordust with confectioners’ sugar, if desired.For even more appetizing additions visitwww.incredibleegg.org. ◗— courtesy of ARAcontentonlyonlineNot for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for Reproduction• more holiday recipes• entertaining tips• frugal festivitiesmore at q-notes.com!NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotes 29Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for Reproduction30 NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotesQ - L I V I N GHoliday entertaining: how tomake your table sparkleQ - N OYour party date isTset — and the pressureEwater spots.Sis on to make sure everything is perfect. But, • Immediately dry your crystal with a lint-freewhat do you see when you pull out your tableware?Is your silver as shiny as you remem-• Avoid twisting glasses from the base; thiscloth.bered? Does your crystal sparkle like new?motion may create enough torque to breakWith the holiday season and other festivethe stem.gatherings approaching, now is the time to • To remove the milky tint caused by dishwashercleaning, use a small amount of CLRmake sure your dinnerware glitters.“China, crystal and silver are made to be used cleaner to each piece of cloudy crystal. Letregularly and, if cared for properly, these pieces this stand for several hours and rinse bycan last for generations,”says china/crystalhand. (This treatment is not recommendedrestoration manager Sara Vestal of the Greensboro for pieces with gold or platinum trim, as thegay-owned Replacements, Ltd., the world’s largest cleanser may remove the metal gild).retailer of old and new china, crystal, silver and • Store crystal pieces with the base down tocollectibles.“What’s unfortunate is the fact we see protect the delicate rim. Remember to leaveso much damage that can actually be prevented plenty of space between pieces. Glassby avoiding some very common mistakes.”expands in hot temperatures, so you want toOne of the biggest culprits Vestal sees is dishwasherdamage.“The dishwasher is a hugetal items don’t touch.make there’s enough breathing room so crys-enemy of fine dinnerware. Prongs on the racks To restore your silver’s luster, followQ - N Omay scratch the surface,Twhile heat from the dryingcycle can loosen gold or platinum trim on “A lot of people don’t realize that their silver’s fin-Ethese helpful tips:Schina, causing it to wear away. That cloudy or ish actually improves with daily use,”saysmilky look you sometimes see on crystal isReplacements’ silver restoration manager, Josecaused by the high heat actually baking lime, rust Batista.“Silver pieces that are used regularlyand other minerals from the dish water into the develop a rich patina, which is actually the blendingof thousands of tiny scratches. SThis patina ispores of the crystal. Plus, the heat can loosenthe adhesive in knife handles, potentially causingthe handle to separate from the blade.”Replacements’ experts recommend washingyour pieces by hand, even if labeled “dishwashersafe.”Avoid citrus-scented detergents— they contain acids that may damage thefinish of china and silver.Also avoid detergentscontaining bleach; chlorine in theseproducts may seep into the pores of china andcrystal, causing damage even after rinsing.Experts say these tips can helpextend the life of your china:• Storing china in areas that are not temperatureor humidity controlledQ - N O Tcan cause theEglaze to become brittle and crack. If you don’t what gives silver its beautiful satin finish.”use your china regularly, wash it at least once • Wash silver immediately after a meal. Foodeach year to keep impurities from impregnatingthe finish. This keeps the glaze strong. manently stain sterling and damage silver-left on silver for as little as one hour can per-• Fine china can develop rust spots when washed plated pieces. Be particularly wary of mayonnaise,vinegar and eggs.with silver, so it is important to clean the twoseparately. To remove rust spots from china, rub • Experts recommend washing silver in a plasticcontainer or putting a rubber mat in youra small amount of a Soft Scrub without bleachtype cleaning product on the spot. If this doesn’t sink to prevent contact between the silverwork, put a small amount of rubbing compound and any metal surfaces.on a paper towel and apply in a circular motion. • Dry immediately with a soft cloth to prevent• To get rid of nicotine stains on china, make a water spots. One helpful hint — use a blowpaste out of baking soda — scrub and let it dryer on a low setting to dry hard to reachstand for 30 minutes before rinsing. Repeat places.this process until the stain disappears.• Silver needs to breathe. When storing, avoid• Storage is extremely important when protectingyour china. Put a cushioned layertrap moisture and cause tarnish.using plastic or airtight containers that maysuch as a coffee filter, napkin or flannel• Also remember, any moisture on your handssquare between pieces to prevent scratching. can leave fingerprints, which also promotesQ - N O• Avoid setting heavierTbowls on plates and doEtarnish. Wear soft cotton gloves Swhen handlingsilver pieces.not stack handled pieces, such as cups.Stacking weight can create tiny stress fractureswhich, over time, may cause plates to would rather replace damaged pieces, others areVestal and Batista agree, while many peoplecrack or handles to break off cups.so emotionally attached to family heirlooms thatDon’t forget your crystal. Keep pieces they prefer to have their sentimental treasuressparkling with these simple steps: restored. For advice on repairing extensive damage,such as cracks or chips, contact Replacements• Wash crystal in lukewarm water and rememberto remove jewelry that might scratch the Ltd.’s restoration experts at 800-737-5223.You candelicate surface.also find additional dinnerware care tips at• One insider’s tip — add a small amount of www.replacements.com.◗vinegar to the rinse water to help prevent— courtesy of ARAcontentQ-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionQ - L I V I N GDrinks to warm up your holiday gatheringsHand off a hot beverage — to dinner guests, neighbors whodrop by or kids during story time — and you instantly warm• Stock up on cinnamon sticks. Indispensable for mulling, cinnamonsticks also spruce up hot party drinks when usedsprinkle with nutmeg and add cinnamon stick stirrers.Substitute almond extract (or another flavoring, like peppermintextract) for the vanilla now and then. At a toddler’s tuck-inboth tummies and hearts. Make sure you treat yourself too;as swizzlers.wrappingQyour hands around a warm mug-in the midst of aN• Spruce up your black teas.OAdd cinnamon sticks, orangeTpeel time, serve withoutEthe chocolate to induce slumber. SMakescold day can help you unwind.and/or lemon peel to any black tea. Sweeten, if you like, with about 4 servings.Traditional favorites include hot cider, cocoa, teas and coffees honey or brown sugar. To richen the flavor even further, add a— all so good there’s no need to look for replacements. But by tablespoon or two of cognac.adding just a few of the right spices, you can transform these • Enliven green teas with crystallized ginger and sliced fruiteveryday winter drinks into extraordinary festive fare.(like pears).Tips for spicing up your favorite holiday drinks:• Think ethnic. For Spanish flair, add black pepper and chilies or• Mull to be merry. Mulling a beverage simply means heating cinnamon to hot chocolate. For French influence, thickenand spicing it. Sometimes sweeteners and/or other beveragesare added, too. Mulled apple juice or cider is classic, but Marnier and vanilla extract. Top with a pinch of freshlycocoas with cornstarch or arrowroot and stir in some Grandwhy not mull other favorites, like cherry, raspberry, white ground nutmeg.grape and cranberry juices, as well as red and white wines? • For a mocha drink, simply use strongly brewed coffee in placeJust be careful not to boil the wine or you’ll ruin the taste of some of the liquid in your favorite hot cocoa recipe.and evaporate the alcohol. Good mulling spices include allspice,cinnamon, cloves, fenugreek, ginger, lemon peel, nut-Frontier offers every option from almond to walnut for any hot• Add quality flavorings or extracts for an instant flavor boost.meg, orange peel and star anise. Have fun experimenting — beverage — including milk, cocoa, tea and coffee.or streamline your routine by stocking up on a mullingHere’s the recipe for a deliciously rich toddy that addsspice mix, like Simply Organic Mulling Spice or Frontier delight to any gathering:Cider Mate.Visions of Sugarplums Toddy• Give the crock a workout. Fill your crock pot with an aromatic Ingredients:and warmQspiced beverage and keep it-on low throughout theN4 cups milk, divided inOhalf (dairy, rice, or soy)T E Sday.You’ll have a ready-to-serve treat at any time, and your 2 Tbsp. honeyhome will be scented, too.1/8 tsp. cardamom powder• Make an impression with homemade gifts. For simple but lovelyhomemade gifting, combine the dry ingredients for a spe-1 tsp. vanilla extract4 oz. white baking chocolate, choppedcial hot drink in a small jar or canister and tie with a festive 1/4 tsp. nutmeg powderribbon. Punch a hole in a recipe card with mixing directionsand attach to the ribbon. For even easier gifting, simply place apackage of beverage mix — like those mulling spices — in afestive mug and tie with a ribbon. Or choose a special tea anddeliver it in a pretty cup and saucer.4 6-inch cinnamon sticksDirections:Warm 2 cups of the milk, honey, cardamom, and bakingchocolate in a saucepan until chocolate is melted. Add remainingmilk and heat until warm. Stir in vanilla. Pour into cups,For more tips and recipes for hot drinks — and an onlinesource of ingredients like mulling spices, cocoa, cinnamon sticksand spices — visit www.frontiercoop.com/hotdrinks.◗— courtesy of ARAcontentQ - N O T E SQ - N O T E SNOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotes 31Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionQ - L I V I N GOut in the Starsby Charlene Lichtenstein . Contributing Writerand put out your their talents. Nor should they.best efforts in the CANCER (06.22-07.23) Gay Crabs are full ofhope that the senior fun when Mars trines Uranus.Your goody bag hasstaff will sit up and no bottom and you are apt to take things to theNov. 1-14take notice. The payoff will be substantial. Just extreme.Good! Enjoy life while you can and try todon’t spend it all in one place or on one particular go global in your mirth. Maybe it is time to travelQ -There is somethingNexciting and surprisingOjust staff member.T Eand expand your horizons. There Sis a happy surprisewaiting for you out there somewhere, butaround the corner as Mars trines retro Uranus. PISCES (02.20-03.20) Guppies need to get outCan you feel it coming? If not, feel harder. Oh! and explore their world when Mars trines you have to leave the house to find it.SCORPIO (10.24-11.22) Not only do you have Uranus. Not only do you have some great ideas for LEO (07.24-08.23) Mars trine Uranus may bemore than your usual share of charisma, you adventure, you are able to capitalize on your a good time to concentrate on home-based projectsand family issues. Proud Lions not onlyalso know how to use it to get exactly what you charm and good looks among the exoticwant from others. Proud Scorps can make the strangers you meet on your journey. Go for the want to prepare their surroundings for themost of Mars trine Uranus by getting out of their gold or the glory. Even better, go for the first class upcoming holiday season, they also becomeusual routines and creating new social connections.The people you meet now can change the ARIES(03.21-04.20) Sometimes actions create home. Also, consider reconnecting with lost rel-upgrade and the unlimited champagne.more domesticated in general. Entertain more atcourse of your life for the next few months. unexpected reactions. Prepare for the ground to atives. Who knows what valuable stuff you canSchmooze wisely.swell and shake. You are catapulted into a new get out of them?SAGITTARIUS(11.23-12.22)If your gut is talkingto you, you should listen. Gay Archers have are naturally bold and pioneering. So, what are for being more on the quiet and reticient side,direction when Mars trines Uranus. Proud Rams VIRGO (08.24-09.23) Although you are knownespecially good intuition when Mars trines you waiting for? Get out of your comfort zone and right now you are full of opinion and noise. ThisUranus. Interactions with family will go especiallywell and you may be able to build or rebuild your flag. Hmm, anyone we know?Uranus and makes anything you say more force-take a risk.You discover virgin territories to plant is not a bad thing, queer Virgin. Mars trinesbridges. This is also a good time to make changes TAURUS (04.21-05.21) Queer Bulls want to ful and compelling. But, don’t just ask for the sakearound the house whether you redecorate, renovateor move. Or, maybe a combination?when Mars trines Uranus. You are not merely most value. Then go, go, go for it.reach out and touch someone…really anyone of asking. Know what you want and what youCAPRICORN (12.23-01.20) Open up the lines interested in the concept of relationships and LIBRA (09.24-10.23) Proud Libras never seemQ -of communicationsNwith friends. There mayObe connection. You are drivenTto build all types ofEto be paid what they are worth. SNow, as Marsmany things that you want to say but couldn’t. relationships from love to work to platonic. Will trines Uranus, you begin to chaff at the thought ofMars trines Uranus and not only gives you you get these disparate groups confused? Life being underpaid and under appreciated. But thiscourage, it also gives you opportunity. Who knows will certainly be more interesting if you mix may not be the reality. Before you try to upend thehow these relationships will improve? Sprinkle and match.corporation, take a breath and maybe a longyour comments with sugar and see how sweet GEMINI(05.22-06.21)The powers-that-be will lunch. Work smart rather than hard. The rewardssome folks become. Salt gets them sassy. Vinegar tell you that hard work will bring its own rewards. and recognitions will come eventually. ◗gets you nowhere.But are the meager crumbs they offer enough to © 2008 Madam Lichtenstein, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Entertainment.AQUARIUS(01.21-02.19) Aqueerians are gung keep your nose pressed to the grindstone? Mars info: Visit www.TheStarryEye.com for e-greetings,ho in their career. How long will that last? At least trines Uranus and makes you more motivated at horoscopes and Pride jewelry. My book “HerScopes: A Guidethrough Mars trine Uranus.You are full of energy work but in need of a viable and valuable payoff. To Astrology For Lesbians” from Simon & Schuster isand ambition. So be sure to do your best work Pink Twins are not interested in volunteering available at bookstores and major booksites.ACROSS1. Result of pots colliding57. *Freddy’s surname61. *Puppy snatcher6. Ostrich-like bird65. It helps to have this whenQ - N9. *WhereOCaptain Hook or Barbossa watchingThorror moviesE Stoss enemies66. None found in neat drink13. What one should do with debts 68. Ox of southeast Asia14. Part of URL69. With great enthusiasm15. Exclude70. Car’s ID49. Barkeeper on “The Simpsons”16. Antonym of afar71. Chambers connected to other51. Found in a Baby Ruth17. *Spacey in “Seven”18. Wall or pedestal support19. *He carried a grudge in “Cape Fear”21. *Antagonist nurse in “One FlewOver the Cuckoo’s Nest”23. Parent volunteer organization24. *Could be used to describe Jokerin “The Dark Knight”25. Fake tooth28. Gaelic30. *Cannibalistic doctor35. Seed cover37. High rocky hillschambers72. Famous English architect73. Food sign74. Nows and _____DOWN1. Pack to capacity2. Russian river in Siberia3. Mt. Everest’s relationship to Earth4. Civil rights organization5. What rockers often do on stage6. Whirlpool7. Bovine sound8. Wombs54. Tee off56. *First name of 45 Down57.“If you only ____!”58. End of line59. Push for something60.“____-steven”61. Penny62. Ancient Greeks’ harp63. Past participle of “lie”64. Regrettably67. *Bourne’s pursuer39. Join companies, e.g.9. Eastern ____Q - N40.“The Kinks”Ohit10.TTheir lifestyles are often chronicledE S41. Soup up11. Not active43. A foolhardy challenge12. Turned to the right, as in horse44. Type of address15. An attitude of admiration46. Wedding cake layer20. *Lured by dark side47. Eyeballed22.“___ the King’s Men”32 NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotesIt’s a movie villains crossword!48. *Chigurh in “No Country for OldMen”50. Happy face52. Eye infection53. Famously extinct55. Goes with “aah”24. Hitchcock classic25. Noted in Old Testament for hisstrong faith when entering Canaan26. Smell of baking bread, e.g.27.“For Whom the Bell Tolls”protagonist29. Worn by coal miner31. Surrender32. Not to be thrown away at cafeteria,pl.33. White heron34. Reedlike36. Put down38. Wooer42. Earlier45. *Latest JokerCrossword AnswersQ-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionTell Trinityby Trinity . Contributing WriterBeing single: Is it a curse ora blessingQ - L I V I N GHello Trinity,If another telemarketer callsme I’ll jump out a window. Doyou have any suggestions for dealingwith those inhumane pests?Tele-Troubles, Boston, Mass.Hello Tele-Troubles,Before you start jumping, drinking or drivingoffthe road,honey,put your cell or homephone down and read:Q - N O T E SDearest Trinity,It seems like all my friends are in relationships.And me, I’m still a bachelor. Why are somepeople doomed to being single forever?Unhappy Bachelor, Montreal, Canada Trinity’s Terrific Tips For DealingDearest Bachelor,With Telemarketers(The phone rings and you pick up)Being alone, paying bills alone and goingto bed alone can get depressing, day after day, 1. The Direct Approach: “I’m not interested!”night after night, hour after…damn, now I’m followed by a polite,“Thank you. Good-bye!”depressed. Listen, some people are single2. The Hurried Approach: “I only have abecause they haven’t found the right problem, moment.” followed by,“Sorry, honey, I’mI mean person, or it’s their spiritual time outout of time!” (You click.)from relationships to discover just how miserable,I mean wonderful, they are. Being ahot! Can you send me a picture of you3. The Sexual Approach: “You’re voice soundshealthy bachelor means going to single events, first? I’m really not that unattractive!”parties and socials as well as joining religious, (They click!)athletic, intellectual and/or special interest4. The Religious Approach: “Jesus doesn’t letgroups. Remember, pumpkin, if you keep tryingeventually your odds will change. That’s“God bless you dear!” (You click.)me take these calls.” followed by a sweet,the thrillQof dating.-5. The DisasterNApproach: “Oh God! I’veObeenT E SHey Trinity,in and out of hospitals! My lover left me!Why would someone choose to be gay if it’s so Can you take care of me?” (They beginhard? Why wouldn’t they just be quiet about it or to cry.)go straight?6. The Giddy/Overzealous Approach: “I loveConfused, Montgomery, Ala. that... ha...! I... ha, ha... love, love, I loveHey Confused,You are confused! People don’t choose tobe gay,they do,however,choose to be openabout it, to be comfortable with it and to beproud of it. Yes, being gay is hard, but noharder than being a Republican. Eventually,sweetie, we all have to be true to ourselvesor die. And, once someone gets used tosomething difficult it’s no longer difficult.It’s as easy as voting for change on Nov. 4and watching America blossom again. Vote!(I’ll show you how this works if you readmy cartoon.)everything you’re saying! (Uncontrollablelaughing) Haaaaa, ha ha…!” (They click.)7. The Childhood-Regression Approach: “Mymommy doesn’t let me buy things on thetel-e-phone. Can you play with me?”(Begin crying until they hang up.)8. The Deceased Approach: “Oh she diedmonths ago. Would you like the personhandling her estate? Thank you for calling!”(Funeral parlor music plays inbackground.)9. The Paranoid Approach: “Why must youcall me? Why do want to hurt me? Hello!Have you hung up on me again?” (TheyQ -start therapy.)N O T E S10. The Confused Approach: “I don’t understandwhat you want from me? I needmore time to figure it all out! Where am I?Who Am I?” (They quit their job!) ◗— With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinitywas host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weeklyradio drama, and now performs globally.info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.comTell Trinity, 1617 Rue Champlain, Montreal, QC H2L2S5Sponsored by: Provincetown Business Guild800-637-8696 . www.ptown.orgDear Trinity,Is love itself enough of a reason to start arelationship? And is love enough to keep a relationshipgoing?QWhat’s Enough, Tucson,-Ariz.N O T E SDear Enough,Yes, love is a great reason to start a relationshipand, yes, it’s enough to keep itgoing, but unfortunately not forever. Lovechanges every day forcing the relationshipitself to take over where love started. Alwayswork on the love, but work even harder onthe relationship. In other words, darling, letlove inspire you to start a relationship butlet your relationship inspire you to understandlove!NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotes 33Q-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionOut and About . by Kat M. Read . Q-Notes staffEvents and happenings across the CarolinasQ - L I V I N Gwww.gaycharlotte.comhonor the memory of Matthew Shepard. There willHarriet Hancock Centeralso be a special guest performance by Charlotte’s803-771-7713One Voice Chorus. Proceeds go to The Matthew1108 Woodrow St.Shepard Foundation and Campus Pride. UNC-Columbia, SC 29205Charlotte. 7:30 p.m. $15-$40. 713-461-9595.www.scpride.orgwww.stophate.org/concert.Don’t Miss ThisOutWilmington GLCCNov. 7 • Triangle910-762-4717Triangle Game NightWilmington, NC 28401Join Triangle Community Works for their LGBT game Nov. 15 • Durhamwww.outwilmington.comnight in Raleigh and Durham. On the first and third 2008 Equality Conference & GalaFridays of every month join for a fun, relaxed andJoin Equality NC at Duke University for the second annualThe Center Projectsocial atmosphere with games and friends. FirstEquality Conference & Gala. It’s a day of cutting-edge843-626-4953Fridays: Calvary United Methodist, 304 E. Trinity Ave., workshops and distinguished speakers followed by a fabulouscelebration. Last year’s event got rave reviews from307 Highway 15Durham. Third Fridays: Unitarian UniversalistMyrtle Beach, SC 29578Fellowship of Raleigh, 3313 Wade Ave., Raleigh. 7:30www.thecenterproject.comthe 300+ attendees, so you won’t want to miss it!Q -p.m. tcworks.org.N O T E SSee website for full details. www.equalitync.org.Nov. 8 • DurhamTriangle Community WorksDuncan Sheik in ConcertGay and Lesbian HelplineGrammy and Tony Award-winning singer-songwriterand composer Duncan Sheik will performRaleigh, NC 919-821-0055helpline@tcworks.orgexploring the bittersweet search for comfort in the Nov. 22 • Raleighinfinitydiamondclub@yahoo.com.Nov. 7 • CharlottePride Charlotte BenefitSinger-songwriter Richard Cortez and special guestAdam Smith perform to raise funds for PrideCharlotte 2009. There will be light snacks and refreshments,special raffles, prizes and a cash bar. Lesbian &an unforgettable night of music, featuring songsfrom his Broadway smash “Spring Awakening,” aswell as songs from his early catalogue and newmusical theatre works. Joining Duncan onstagewill be original “Spring Awakening” cast members.Carolina Theatre, 309 W. Morgan St. 8 p.m. $32.919-560-3030. www.carolinatheatre.org.Nov. 8 • RaleighJason & deMarco ConcertSt. John’s MCC celebrates the seventh anniversary ofRev. Belva Boone as the church’s senior pastor with afree concert featuring Jason & deMarco. FellowshipHall, 3313 Wade Ave. 7 p.m. Free. 919-834-2611.www.stjohnsmcc.org.Nov. 9 • CharlotteDuncan SheikSee Nov. 8 for details. McGlothon Theatre, 345 N.College St. 7 p.m. $24.50-$34.50. 704-372-1000.wwwblumenthalcenter.org.Jason & deMarco will provide special music at theJoyful Morning Worship Service at St. John’s MCC, 805Glennwood Ave. 11 a.m. 919-834-2611.www.stjohnsmcc.org.Nov. 11 • GreensboroPilobolus Dance TheaterWith a name taken from a fungus that grows in cowdung and propels itself many feet in the air, thisinnovative modern dance company has been wowingaudiences around the world since 1971. Using acollaborative choreographic process, colorful costumesand a flowing, gymnastic approach to dance,Pilobolus combines humor, whimsy, athleticismand movement in unexpected and delightful ways.UNC-G, Aycock Auditorium. 8 p.m. $23-$40. 336-334-4849. www.ucls.uncg.edu.Nov. 12-29 • Charlotte‘Rabbit Hole’about an all-American family and their search forhope after the death of their son. The show shiftsseamlessly from hilarity to silent understanding whiledarkest of places. Actors Theatre Charlotte, 650 E.Stonewall St.Various times. $24-$29. 704-342-2251.www.actorstheatrecharlotte.org.Nov. 14 • Charlotte‘For the Bible Tells Me So’Does God really condemn loving homosexual relationships?Is the chasm separating Christianity fromgays and lesbians too wide to cross? Is the Bible anexcuse to hate? These questions and more areanswered in this award-winning documentary thatreconciles homosexuality and Biblical scripture, andreveals that religious anti-gay bias is based almostsolely upon a misinterpretation of the Bible. There isalso a silent auction to benefit RAIN. Myers ParkBaptist Church,1931 Selwyn Ave. 6:30 p.m.Nov. 14 • RaleighRuthie Foster In ConcertNCSU presents lesbian singer/songwriter RuthieFoster who draws repeated comparisons to ArethaFranklin and Ella Fitzgerald. Foster mixes contempo-Nov. 4 • NationwideElection DayGo out and vote like your life depends on it — it does.Nov. 7-9 • DurhamCouples RetreatInfinity Diamond Club presents a couples retreat tostrengthenQLGBT relationships. Topics for discussioninclude blended familes, control issues, sex- N O T E Sand intimacy issues, family/friend boundaries,communication and much more. Hilton Garden InnSouthpoint, 7007 Fayetteville Rd. For information, Nov. 9 • Raleighcontact Priscilla at 919-685-2590 orSpecial Worship Servicerary folk with old-school gospel and blues with dazzlingefficiency. Stewart Theatre, NC State University. 8p.m. $22-$26. 919-515-1100. www.ncsu.edu/arts.Nov. 19 • CharlestonTrans-Siberian OrchestraTSO sprouted from the collaboration of Paul O’Neilland Jon Olivia, both former members of the progressive-metalGroup Savatage. In the mid ’90’s, theybegan writing Christmas songs that eventuallybecame Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s 1996 rock-operaalbum “Christmas Eve & Other Stories.” N. CharlestonColiseum, 5001 Coliseum Dr. 7:30 p.m. $30-$40. 843-529-5000. www.coliseumpac.com.Nov. 20 • CharlotteTrans-Siberian OrchestraSee Nov. 19 for details. Time Warner Cable Arena, 333E. Trade St. 7:30 p.m. $38-$48. 704-522-6500.www.timewarnercablearena.com.Community Centers &Gay Community Center, 820 Hamilton St. 7 p.m. $7suggested donation. 704-333-0144.SwitchboardsQ -Nov. 7 •NCharlotteO T E SCharlotte Lesbian & GayStop The Hate ConcertCommunity CenterThis 10-year observance,“Remembering the Legacy704-333-0144of Matthew Shepard,” features national recording820 Hamilton St., Suite B11artists and out gay couple Jason & deMarco. They’veNov. 21 • GreensboroCharlotte, NC 28206Actors Theatre Charlotte presents this touching storyteamed up with singer-songwriter Randi Driscoll toTrans-Siberian OrchestraAlternative Resources of the TriadCommunity resources and referralsGreensboro, Winston-Salem & High Point, NCOutTriad.org . OutGreensboro.comUpcoming Events:See Nov. 19 for details. Greensboro Coliseum, 1921 W.Lee St. 8 p.m. $20-$58. 336-373-7400. www.greensborocoliseum.com.Trans-Siberian OrchestraSee Nov. 19 for details. RBC Center, 1400 Edwards MillRd. 3 p.m. and 8 p.m. $37.50-$47.50.www.rbccenter.comNov. 23 • GreenvilleTrans-Siberian OrchestraSee Nov. 19 for details. Bilo Center, 650 N. Academy St.3 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. $20-$45. 864-241-3800.www.bilocenter.com.Nov. 24-Dec. 1 • AshevilleAIDS Quilt DisplayJoin the Western North Carolina AIDS Project inremembrance of those lost to HIV/AIDS. This weeklongexhibit of the AIDS Memorial Quilt will featurespecial events and music, and culminate with aninterfaith memorial service on Dec. 1, World AIDSDay. Pack Place, 2 South Pack Square. www.wncap.org.Dec. 19-20 • Charlotte‘Winter White’Come out and have fun with the Gay Men’s Chorus ofCharlotte. It’s everything you like best about this timeof year — your favorite holiday songs and a healthydose of frivolity. St. Martin’s Episcopal Church, 1510 E.7th St. 8:04 p.m. $10 advance/$12 at the door. Ticketscan be purchased at White Rabbit, Paper Skyscraperand www.gmccharlotte.org. ◗info: Announce your community event in Out & About.email: outandabout@q-notes.com or fax 704-531-1361.Q - N O T E S34 NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotesQ-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes

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Not for Reproduction Q-Notes Not for ReproductionCarolina winter getawaysQ - L I V I N GLooking for a winter escape? StayChristmas tradition going back as far as 1895 bills itself as one of “the largest and mosthome and have fun for cheapwhen George W.Vanderbilt first invited his spectacular light shows in the entire southeast,”with more than a million lights in dis-friends and family to partake of the warmthby WillQBillings . Contributing Writer- N Oand beauty of his newTestate.Eplays set across the entire park.SHundreds of Christmas trees, almost 1,500 info: www.forsyth.cc/tanglewood/fol_info.aspxThe economic downturn’s got everyonepoinsettias and miles and miles of ribbons, Colonial delightbuckling down and saving money, but the holidayseason is quickly approaching. Besidesholiday sparkle and fun. Treat your children to While you’re in Winston-Salem, set upbows and garland fill the Asheville estate with November, Decembershelling out the cash for gifts and home decor,pictures with Old St. Nick and your partner to shop in one of the city’s downtown hotelsmany folks will be figuring out how to spenda cheerful winter wine tasting.and take the family on a walk down historicwisely when it comes to their winter sight-seeinginfo: www.biltmore.com/visit/calendar/christmas.asp Main Street in Old Salem. Watch bakers createand fun.Here’s a few winter and holiday escapesright here in the Carolinas. No plane ticketsrequired. You can even make some into aTanglewood Festival of LightsNov. 15-Jan. 1Take the family for a stroll — well, morelike a drive — through an enchanted nighttimeold-style Moravian cookies or sing alongwith Moravian Christmas carols during atraditional love feast with sweet coffee,homemade buns and traditional, 18th centu-journey in the Tanglewood Festival of ry bees-wax candles.day trip!Christmas at BiltmoreLights at Forsyth County’s Tanglewood Park. info: www.oldsalem.org/index.php?id=275November, DecemberThere’s nothing more magical than a tripto the historic Biltmore Estate during the holidays.Youand your family can be a part of aLocated right outside of Winston-Salem, thepark offers miles of holiday themes includingwinterscapes, holiday heroes, storybookscenes and other holiday themes. The eventCharleston Festival of LightsNov. 14-Jan. 4If you’re in the Palmetto State and want ataste of a great holiday light spectacular, checkout Charleston’s Festival of Lights. More thanthree-miles of lighted holiday scenes putQ - N O T Esparkle into any family’s winter Sfun. Whileyou’re in Charleston, don’t forget about theTown and Country Christmas (Dec. 6-27 onSaturdays). Take tours of the beautiful, oldMiddleton estates all decked out for the happiestseason of the year.info: ccprc.com/index.asp?NID=140www.discoversouthcarolina.com/products/1988.aspxQ - N O T E SHoliday FlotillaNov. 28-29Join more than 50,000 revelers for one ofthe Top 20 “Must See Events in the Southeast.”Decorated and lighted boats make their wayaround Wrightsville Beach, N.C. for a festivalof lights on water.info: www.ncholidayflotilla.orgQ - N O T EGingerbread houses, oh Smy!Nov. 19-Jan. 11Mmmm. Tasty. But these treats aren’t foreats. Hundreds of entries in the NationalGingerbread House Competition & Display atthe Grove Park Inn in Asheville make for awonderful holiday delight. Make your stophere while your visiting Biltmore! ◗info: www.groveparkinn.com— Be sure to check in with our Out and Aboutcalendar throughout November and Decemberfor more holiday and winter events.36 NOVEMBER 1 . 2008 • QNotesQ-Notes Not for Reproduction Q-Notes