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Razorcake Issue #19

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Gabe: Did you ever go to any of theMorrissey conventions or anything?Todd: He has conventions?! Right next toStar Trek?Kat: Oh yeah! There’s even a tribute bandcalled Sweet and Tender Hooligans.Danny: It’s one thing to be a cover band,but then they try to do their own songs tryingto sound like them.Angelique: I was in a Pixies cover band.Kat: What was the name?Angelique: A Superhero Named Tony. Wedid it last minute because we always talkedabout doing one.Kat: That’s a really good name for it.Angelique: It was our drummer’s idea. Wewanted to call it Erotic Vulture.Gabe: The Pixies are playing in April,aren’t they?Angelique: I heard they were going to goon tour with Love and Rockets.Kat: I heard it was opening for Red HotChili Peppers, unfortunately.fortune?Julie: [laughing] We don’t get approachedby anybody. They run the hell away frominstrumentals.Angelique: There was that one guy whowas like, “I want you to write a song for ahorror movie. Big budget. Fox. Television.Horror movie.”Julie: I work as kind of a gopher at a recordlabel so I see from the inside the way everythingworks. I’d be perfectly happy to get agood independent label who’d be willing tolet us put out what we wanted and not havesomeone tell me that I need to get a haircutor lose some weight. I don’t want to fuckinghear it.Angelique: Friends of mine were at theBigfoot Lodge and someone was askingthem what bands he should book and theyKat: That’s sad that all of your passion andcreativity could be summed up on a Post-It.Danny: You don’t even get a complete sentence.Kat: Do you find that you perform betterwith a couple of drinks before a show ornone at all?Angelique: We think we do. I haven’t donecompletely drunk, though.Julie: Me and Ange have a ritual. Wealways do a tequila shot and a Corona.Angelique: Maybe we should try whiskey.Julie: Good for the voice…Kat: New ritual, maybe?Julie: But if you go changing the ritual,everything will change.Gabe: Are there any themes that keepshowing up in your songs?Danny: Murder.Angelique: It’s a mixture of love and suicide.Gabe: Is playing music for you all a catharticexperience, or is it very cut and dry?Everyone in unison: Ewww!Danny: Scary.Gabe: When I was twelve, I had tickets togo see the Cure, the Pixies, and Love andRockets, all playing one show, and fuckin’no one would give me a ride.All: Awww!Todd: Not even with tickets?Gabe: It’s hard to pull that shit off whenyou’re twelve.Todd: Yeah.Gabe: What’s the biggest misconceptionyou’ve heard about your band?Angelique: I’m a catering chef and we wereat this big party for this like, DaytimeEmmy winners or whatever, and this reallyflashy dressed guy walks in and says, “I sawone of Roland Bolan’s bands, Dick Army. Isaw them the other night.”Todd: (to Angelique) You were in one ofhis bands?Angelique: Well, that CD we were handingout that Roland produced.Julie: He recorded it for us. He had a ProTools set up.Angelique: It was just funny that this guywas going off on how great Dick Army was.I was like, “Yeah, that’s my band.” And hewas like, “Oh, really?”Kat: Do you have cliché stories of recordpeople coming up to you after a show orwhatever and making promises of fame andsaid Texas Mafia, and the guy said,“They’re not a big enough band.” And thensomeone else said, “Yeah, they don’t promotethemselves.”Julie: We’re not schmoozers.Danny: You don’t have to schmooze. Youjust have to sit outside a club at 2:00 A.M.,freezing your ass off and handing out flyers.It’s not fun.Julie: I don’t think that even works. I thinkyou have to go out a lot and you have to talkto people and those are two things that,unless I’m playing a show, I’m not reallydoing.Danny: Tell the story about the notes yousee at work.Julie: On a Jon Spencer Blues ExplosionCD there was some really asinine commentlike, “Sounds good, but not radio friendly.”They ascertain that Jon Spencer is not radiofriendly.Kat: Is he supposed to be?Todd: They missed the boat on that one.Julie: Yeah, that’s why I’m not slippingdemos under anybody’s door. If that’s notradio friendly, we’re sure not.Danny: Or one said something like, “Reallycute, eighteen-year-old twins,” or whatever.They’re really scary.Todd: Oh no, it couldn’t be like that!Angelique: It’s cathartic, but the thing isthat I don’t realize it until I play. I don’tthink of it that way, but then I realize it isthat way.Todd: You can always kind of tell who’sdedicated to craft and who isn’t. It’s just amatter of fine-tuning the way you do it.Julie: I don’t notice so much when we playall of the time, but when we don’t play forawhile I feel really tense. All the things I’mused to getting out all of the time startbuilding up and I start feeling horrible untilwe start practicing and playing again.Kat: Do you have any interesting Recycler(LA classified paper) stories? It doesn’tnecessarily have to be with this band, justamusing “Looking for singer, blah, blah,blah” stuff.Todd: I have one, actually. I placed an ad,something to the effect of, “I’m eight feettall, 400 lbs., and have terminal acne. Joinmy band.” And a guy called me up and waslike, “Are you really eight feet tall?”41

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