Razorcake Issue #19

lollipop music suddenly has thewiggly blue organs ripped out of itby a screaming, bug-eyed fiendwith a scythe dripping with bloodand clumps of blubber and then itfalls like a feather back into cuddlyunicorns and dancing marshmallowsfor maybe twenty seconds orso and then the smiles explode intoa nightmare of stringy cadavers flyingthrough the sky, tangling intrees and after about a minute thefocus suddenly softens to theSnuggles bear giggling like a childin a pile of fluffy clean laundry.Note to the band: they now havedrugs for stuff like this. I can onlyimagine that abrupt emotion eruptionslike this must make for awkwardmoments at the pottery wheelin your Advanced Pottery class. Oris it all merely the simple joy ofclicking the little button thatswitches between the clean anddirty channels on your amps? (Bythe way, is Korn responsible forthis?) I don’t know if this is oneleggedscreamcore or just ampedupmawkish emo, but if you’re fondof herky-jerky emotion bungeejumps, this bilge is for you. –AphidPeewit (Grey Sky)MUTE THE SILENCE:Self-titled: 7”Greek punk rock. Since it traveledso far to get reviewed, I wish therewere more positive things to sayabout it. The intro sounds likeYanni. The name is as dumb as callingyour band Volumate the Noise.Silence is already mute. The restsounds like serious-minded NOFXmixed with Strung Out andLagwagon with the vocals at ahigher register. They have to reelback the metal stylings and thedrummer knows monkey beats, butlittle else. I really wanted to givethe Greeks a chance, but this waspainfully mediocre pop punk, likeone in a legion that were around in1996. Greece: I like their baklava,but they can keep this band. Sorry.–Todd (www.mutethesilence.com)NEIL PERRY:Lineage: 2xCDYou’re probably asking yourself thesame question I did when I got this:how did the world ever get alongwithout a Neil Perry double CD?Sounds like their sweaters are chafing.–Potsi (Level-Plane)NEW YORK VAULTS: selftitled:CDEP and CD singleBetween both of these CDs you getsix tracks of New York rock’n’rollthat sounds like they could be thelost tapes of the Dolls/Ace Frehleysessions. Some pretty good stuff,but there are so many bands treadingthis same ground these daysthat, ultimately, they’re about asunique as a band influenced by theRolling Stones. –Jimmy Alvarado(www.thenyvaults.com)NO BALANCE:Lights On: CDPoppy emo-punk about girls andthe usual subjects (you know…like, life. And stuff.) from Greece.There’s nothing really noteworthyabout this record – nothing hugelyspecial, but it’s melodic and forsome inexplicable reason, I feel anodd sort of affection for it. Maybeit’s because I can hear the sound offour people doing the only thingthey know how to do in the bestway they can do it (which is sincere)in a form which is all too frequentlydominated by the latestbandwagoneers. –Puckett(Librarian)NO CASH:Run Your Pockets: CDRun-of-the-mill anarcho-hardcorewith a tad more pop in the tunesthan is usual. A lot of the songintros are drawn out considerablylonger than is good for ‘em, too.–Jimmy Alvarado (Morphius)NORTH OF AMERICA:Brothers, Sisters: CDIt’s getting tough for me to carewhether I’ve described this or thatemo band as embodying this, that,or the other quality. It’s gettingharder for me to care that so and sosaid such and such about a record;usually they’re wrong and theircomments mark them as an idiot toboot. With that noted, this record –and the rest of the records like itthat I’ve reviewed lately – will likelydefine the sound of college rockin the nothings. Before you react byarguing that I couldn’t possiblyknow what I’m talking about, I’mwell-versed in post-core, having listenedto and sold more of the seminalworks in this vein. However, Iwould rather have opened that veinup and let every last bit of creativeblood drain out, but that’s animpractical solution for such a geographicallydispersed scene. Muchlike R.E.M., New Order, The Jesusand Mary Chain, and DepecheMode created an entire style ofmusic which could be dismissedwith two derisive words (whichcould also be desperately held on toas a shred of identity by people whohad nothing else going for thembesides fucked up haircuts andworse fashion sense – much likemost fans of emo, as it turns out),bands like North Of America will inturn provide stupid fucking shittalkingassholes with ammunitionto ignore and deride otherwise goodmusic just because it happens to besurrounded by whatever the fuckthis dissonant, angular noise is andother bands that sound just likethem. Someday, we’ll look back onthis and it will all seem funny. Untilthen, I’ll sell this, buy another sixpack and listen to Gunmoll while Iwait for them to start playing midsizedvenues to bros of frat boys.–Puckett (Level Plane)ODDBALLS: Oddballs’Shit Explosion ‘94-’99: CDPlease tell me this is some kind offucked up prank. More three-chord(if that many) trash rawk for fans ofwhatever garage band is the mostrecent flavor of the week. I wouldsay that there’s nothing here, butthat’s giving this godawful piece ofshit far more credit than it deserves.–Puckett (Scene Police)OI POLLOI: Carson?: 7”What else could make my punk lifebetter than knowing that Oi Polloihas put out another release? I had tohear about it from a friend in anothercountry asking me to get him acopy. He is better informed than I.Here are three anarcho-punkanthems that are sung in their nativeGaelic language. Apparently onlyone percent of the population ofScotland still speak the language.That is a shame, looking from theoutside. The Gaelic languagesounds forceful when used alongsidepunk. It also helps that theband is intense and passionate. Thisband, to me, has always beenprotesting and alerting many peopleto topics that should be addressed. Ihave always appreciated this bandfor their lyrical content and theferocity of their music. From thetranslations of the lyrics, they areangry and speaking out about theproblems of Scotland that mostpeople do not hear about. I, for one,have heard nothing in the news presentedby the North Americanmedia. But the DIY network comesthrough again to make light ofthings that I wouldn’t have learnedthrough mainstream channels. Ifyou liked the last record, FuaimCatha, this release is even heavier.The production, across the board, isnear perfection. As usual, I was notdisappointed. One of my all-timefavorite long-running bands.–Donofthedead (Nikt Nic Nie Wie)ON THE MIGHT OFPRINCES: Sirens: CDIt reminds me of what might occurif Thursday and Cursive collaborated.If that sounds appealing, youshould stop reading now becausethis album is unimaginative, uninspiring,and almost completelyuninteresting. Stop. Start. Scream.Croon. Melody. Mosh. Yawn. Goplay drums on your chest and stareat your shoes some more. Findsomething to yearn over and don’tcome back until you’ve eitherfought your way out of a paper bagor moved past the same stupid fuckingtrend that’s drowning the creativityof all the other bands likeyou. –Puckett (Revelation)ONE REASON:All Rivers Run South;All Roads Lead Home: CDI picked this up only because it’s onPlan-It-X, and they’re the label thatintroduced me to Against Me! andThis Bike Is a Pipe Bomb. OneReason is kinda what you hope forout of this label – there’s a tinge ofWoodie Guthrie, an attitude of JoeHill, and enough rock’n’roll to keepyou interested. This band is wedgedso well between Hot Water Musicand Against Me! that you’d expectNo Idea to put out this album, butthat’s not to say it’s too derivative.One Reason definitely are hashingout their own sound, and the femalevocals on this are flat-out tough.The high point is “Rest Stop,” adazzling, intelligent song aboutstopping at the Trail of Tears RestStop in Illinois (“do you really haveto commemorate 500 years ofoppression with a building full ofhuman waste?”). The low point isthe Bruce Springsteen cover. Inbetween the highs and lows is a lotof good shit. –Sean (Plan-It-X)ORPHANS, THE:Everybody Loves YouWhen You’re Dead: CDRock and roll is at a weird placeright now. It’s kind of dishearteningto know that there are bands outthere that cite Led Zeppelin andNirvana as major influences. I don’t