12.07.2015 Views

I Have a What? A Guide for Coping with Moderate-to-Severe TBI

I Have a What? A Guide for Coping with Moderate-to-Severe TBI

I Have a What? A Guide for Coping with Moderate-to-Severe TBI

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RRTC ON COMMUNITY INTEGRATION OF PERSONS WITH <strong>TBI</strong>Part B. Ways <strong>to</strong> change your thinking.How you think about problems has a big effect on how you feel and how you cope. Wheneveryou have a feeling, there is a thought that is connected <strong>to</strong> it. This thought helps determineyour feeling.For example, imagine that you are at a party and “Jim” joins your group. You are introduced<strong>to</strong> Jim, and begin <strong>to</strong> talk <strong>with</strong> him. You notice that Jim does not look at you whentalking and keeps looking over at another person in your group. There are differentthoughts that you could have in this situation. Each thought can lead you <strong>to</strong> having a differentfeeling.If you were <strong>to</strong> think, “Jim thinks he is better than me. He’s rude,” you wouldprobably feel irritated or angry.If you were <strong>to</strong> think, “Jim finds me boring. Nobody seems <strong>to</strong> like me,” you wouldprobably feel sad or lonely.If you were <strong>to</strong> think, “Jim seems really shy and uncom<strong>for</strong>table. I’ll try <strong>to</strong> makehim feel welcome,” you would probably feel kind or caring.If you were <strong>to</strong> think, “Jim may be preoccupied <strong>with</strong> something. Maybe he is trying<strong>to</strong> figure out if he knows that person from somewhere,” you would probably feelneutral.How you feel about a situation can affect how you act in that situation. If you think Jimfinds you boring, you might become quiet and self-conscious. You might even feel likeleaving the party. However, since you don’t really know why Jim was acting that way, youcannot be sure that whether feeling or acting a certain way is the correct response. For example,if you thought that Jim was being rude, you would likely feel angry. You mighteven decide <strong>to</strong> “tell him off.” But that kind of feeling or action wouldn’t be a good responseif Jim were actually feeling shy or uncom<strong>for</strong>table.Each time we have a thought about a situation, the thought wehave influences our feelings. These thoughts that we have canalso influence how we act in situations.The good news is that we can learn <strong>to</strong> change the way we thinkabout things. This can lead <strong>to</strong> changing how we feel and how weact.Page 69

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