PhD thesis final - Royal Holloway, University of London

Chapter 4- Home, domesticity and belongingon her own, although sometimes she will have a part-time A Yi come over to help withcleaning. I told my wife she should take very good care of our children, prepare food forus.In a subtle way, Walker (in his early 30s, relocated to Wujiang with his wife) also sharedwith me his thoughts on what his wife should do which seems superficially to be moreconsiderate and respected:I told my wife that, in free time, she can attend classes to learn skills, or go to Suzhou forafternoon tea or to Tongli Lake for spa treatments. But she also has to do housework andlook after children well. Although I am happy that her social circle can be expanded, Idon‘t like her to attend tai shang Tai tais’ club or activities because they are all rich womenso that they may do something that we cannot afford. I cannot imagine how busy she willbe if she attends their meetings. What I think is no matter what she does, she should putthe family in the first place and knows when to stop before going too far.Such perception and imagination about what a home should be like has thus affectedhousewives‘ experiences of home and belonging within the household. For some, thenew gender division of domestic labour and expectations of them to be a responsiblehousewife is accepted because they think that through reinforcing their gender identityand role as a mother and wife, they also play an important role in home-making that cancontribute to other family members‘ feeling of homeliness. As Joyce told me, she is‗fulfilled every time when I look at them eating and enjoying the food I cook‘, as such;the domestic space is thus an important space of belonging for her. But, for others, ahusband‘s expectations can be hard to bear and become a burden as what makes a manfeel homeliness may be based on his wife‘s sacrifice of her career and interests for153