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elated power imbalances we experienced at the host institution; this was a cross-cultural issue toogreat for me to even understand over the course of a mere six-month internship. However, was I justifiedin feeling powerless? Did I truly feel powerless? Is anyone truly removed of his or her agency in such asituation? The answer is no, and it was a failure for me to think that it was.I want to reiterate that gender barriers were not the primary reason why I opted to leave theinternship – there was a long list of administrative problems. Nevertheless, the gender imbalance wasstill frustrating given that in the cross-cultural context the gender barriers were precarious to cross, andgender related challenges still represent a contributing factor to the way I chose to use agency. I want togo back to the idea of individual agency, and the ability of agency to breakdown patriarchal structuresand build gender equality (Billett, 2006; Eisenhardt, 1989; Lois, 2000; 2004; Sandberg, 2003). From theperspective of gender, it is interesting to reflect on how I chose to use agency in deciding to leave theinternship. Was this an effective/responsible way for me to use agency? How did my use of agencyimpact gender equality within the internship program?The idea of agency explains how ‘individuals behave in the ways that they do because,otherwise, they would be contradicting their personal sense of being’ (Lois, 2000). This raises animportant question, “Can there be agency without a centered self?” (Gubrium & Holstein, 1995). Theanswer is yes, there can be. Agency can be used in creative and diverse ways, sometimes incorporatingself-imposed constraints, with the aim of greater social goals (Lois, 2000). In this regard, there exists adifference between social and individual agency (Billett, 2006). Individuals are able to construct different‘subjectively meaningful selves’ to benefit themselves, and to benefit others as well. The ‘self’ isbecoming an increasingly diverse projection from our daily life (Gubrium & Holstein, 1995).Within the development community, there is a novel idea about the benefits of openly admitting failure,and how organizations can become more effective and more transparent by annually reporting theirfailures (Bunting, 2011; Edmondson, 2011; Engineers Without Borders, 2014). In my opinion, it is notuncommon to hear that CIDA funded internships are unsuccessful and fail to provide the interns with abeneficial working experience. Admitting to a long list of administrative failures is not my responsibility asone of the program beneficiaries; that is the responsibility of MSSRF, SICI, and CIDA. However, I canreport my personal failures from the internship, concerning the issue of gender equality and my use ofagency.CONCLUSIONI have had enough time to reflect on my internship experience: on the lessons I learned, and theopportunities foregone. Reflecting on the story of my internship from a gender perspective, and theinformation I have offered to support my narrative, I have at least one failure to report. I think bychoosing to quit the internship, I exercised agency in a predominantly contractual way. From acontractual perspective I was justified in leaving the internship due to the many administrativeshortcomings on promised deliverables. From the social and gender perspective, however, I exercisedagency in a way that lacked creativity and diversity. I should have exercised my agency more creatively,more diversely, and in a more social sense. I should have diversified myself, and stayed through theentire program. If not to see things through to the end, at least, out of respect for the other people I wasinterning with.ACKNOWLEDGEMENTSThe author would like to acknowledge his fellow interns, Mitalie Makhani (Univeristy of Toronto),Dawn Cordeiro (University of Guelph) and Gonee Saini (University of British Columbia). The author wouldlike to thank the Canadian International Development Agency, Shastri Indo-Canadian Institute and M.S.Swaminathan Research Foundation, respectively, for funding, organizing and hosting the internship.13