Three Days of Happiness

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Perhaps what I thought was me waking up in the middle of the
night was really a dream founded in hope, common in times of
despondency.
If it were a dream, then it was a rather embarrassing dream.
If it were reality - to be frank, there could be nothing that would
make me happier.
I heard someone walking on the mats. I knew it was Miyagi
squatting down beside my pillow because of her smell. Even in
summer, Miyagi smelled like a clear winter morning.
I kept my eyes shut. I’m not sure why, but it felt best to do so.
She touched my head and gently pet it. She probably didn’t do it for
more than a minute.
Miyagi seemed to whisper something, but I couldn’t make it out
over the rain.
In my drowsiness, I thought: Just how much has Miyagi helped me?
How cornered would I feel now if Miyagi weren’t there?
But that’s why I shouldn’t make her worry any moreso - so I told
myself.
She’s strictly here for her job. She’s kind to me because I’m going to
die soon.
It doesn’t mean she has any affection for me.
I shouldn’t have any more baseless hopes. Those don’t just make
me unhappy, but her too. I’m burdening her with extra guilt, giving