Three Days of Happiness

can’t stand a world without you.
Now that I’m about to die, I’ve finally realized that. In a way,
I’ve already been dead for a long time. Ever since the day we
went our separate ways.
Goodbye. I’m praying ten-year-old me survives inside you for
a little longer.
Reading it again, I thought that I probably wouldn’t mail this letter.
There was a serious problem somewhere in there.
This wasn’t the kind of thing I wanted to be saying with it. And it
was impossible for me write down exactly what I wanted to say. I’d
sooner die.
I think my desire came down to that last line I wrote. For Himeno to
still remember me as I was at ten for a little while.
And if that was the objective of the letter, then it seemed I should
maybe not write anything at all.
Any form would do; if it was just addressed to Himeno, and I was
the sender, that would be enough. And that would result in the
least misunderstanding.
If a blank sheet of paper seemed odd, I could write a single
sentence: “I just wanted to send a letter.”
Or maybe - another option was to not talk about my death at all,
but write about normal, everyday things.
I threw the pen onto the table and crumpled up the letter so Miyagi
couldn’t read it, then turned up to the ceiling.
...At any rate, when was the last time I wrote a letter? I searched
my memory.
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