Three Days of Happiness

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had a sense for what lines and what colors I needed.
I realized I had lost my talent. Furthermore, I didn’t have any will to
struggle and get it back. It was too late to start from scratch. I
dropped my brush, ran from the competition, and retreated inside.
At some point, I became too desperate to have my art approved of
by everyone. I think that was the primary cause of my confusion.
The mistake of trying to draw for everyone was a severe one. When
that mistake reached its peak, it created a situation of not being
able to draw.
Universality isn’t what’s going to get people’s favor. You get that
when you go deep into the well of yourself, toil to bring something
back, and produce something that’s wholly individual at a glance.
To notice that required me to be rid of all concerns, and just for
pure enjoyment, draw for myself.
And it was Miyagi who gave me that opportunity. With her as my
subject, I could “draw” in a realm completely different from what I
considered “drawing” to mean before.
After that, I spent all night drawing landscapes, the ones I had
pictured before I slept every night since I was five.
The world I wanted to live in, memories that I’d never had, a
somewhere I’d never been, a someday that could have been past or
future.
I didn’t even realize it, but I had long been piling them up. And it
was drawing Miyagi that made me understand how to express
them.
Maybe I’d been awaiting that moment. Though it was only just