The Good Life - January/February 2014

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ChivalrY in the 21 st Century BRINGING IT BACK TO LIFE Chivalry is dead. Now, wait a second. That’s not entirely true. If I’m wearing heels, at least a few guys will open a door for me. If I’m wearing tennis shoes or flats, the chance of that happening drops 80 percent. The wretched part is that I’m not even kidding. If you Google the word “chivalry,” and visit thefreedictionary.com, you’ll read that chivalry describes “The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women,” along with “A manifestation of any of these qualities.” Some things should remain in the past, like outhouses and dial-up Internet, but when it comes to practicing courtesy, both men and women need to revive and encourage its existence. Manners and chivalry go hand in hand, and being polite doesn’t mean you’re boring. I’m going to tell you all a little tale. It’s tender, surprising and even sad. No, it’s not an ABC Family movie. This is less predictable. Once upon a time, I went on a date with a nice guy. He wouldn’t let me get into his carriage, I mean, car until he got out of it and opened the passenger door for me. He did the same when we arrived at the restaurant. I REMINDER: February 14th is Valentine’s Day. Now is your chance to be chivalrous! think he even helped me take my coat off. Was I drooling from his acts of thoughtfulness? No, I was weirded out. Wait. What? Yeah. I was taken aback by his manners. I was used to being treated like one of the guys, not like a lady. I was so accustomed to a lack of courtesy that I didn’t know how to react when faced with such politeness. Many guys and girls have never had manners pounded in their head, or they’ve just decided to ignore them, and “chivalry,” that thing we’ve heard about in fairytales, is often seen as archaic by our lazy, dishonorable society. It took me a few years of recovering from the I-shouldn’task-for-help-because-I’m-awoman-hear-me-roar rut to realize that women don’t have to be weak-minded, annoyingly dependent damsels in distress in order to enjoy being treated like a lady. You won’t see me crying, waiting for a big, strong man to carry me over a puddle (though that would be nice), but appreciating when a man is courteous, thoughtful and even protective doesn’t make me any weaker of a woman. As this apropos phrase says, “A real woman can do it all by herself, but a real man won’t let her.” Whether you’re a real man or a fake one, according to that saying, the point of that statement is to be 24 By: meghan feir
thoughtful. Don’t save your manners for Valentine’s Day or when you want something. Sharpen your skills by practicing them every day of the year. Chivalry and manners go beyond buying a girl supper. Any guy with $5 or less can accomplish that by ordering a burger off the dollar menu. Courtesy is something you practice and make habitual. Just like working out or hunting, you have to put in some effort to make yourself better. To make a cultural change, both men and women need to treat each other with kindness and respect if they want it dished their way. It’s a twoway street. It’s up to us to retrain society. 25
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Page 27 and 28: By: SOO ASHEIM | Photos: Urban toad
Page 29 and 30: the motorcycle that started it all.
Page 31 and 32: LIVING LIFE ON A HOG Sixteen years
Page 33 and 34: and more lucrative Harley-Davidson
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The Good Life - January/February 2014

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