Optimal Living Magazine Fit, Fabulous & Full of Faith Issue

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4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. - Deuteronomy 6:4-9 NKJV TRUE CONFESSIONS OF A SAVED MAN If I Could Speak To a FATHERLESS GENERATION... By Reverend John C. McNeill For a moment, consider this question: How has your earthly father prepared you for a relationship with your Heavenly Father? Or, think of it this way: How has your human parent informed your understanding of your Divine Parent, God? The sentiment of these questions, in either form, can be unsettling for many of us leading to reflect on the unfavorable shortcomings and to traumatic failures of our fathers. To others of us, these questions bring a smile or a sense of joy as we reflect on the loving and tender care of our faithful and attentive dads. The difference is seemingly clear, but the questions give a fresh vision for evaluating a father’s efforts in both scenarios. Either way, we often live drawing from our list of do’s or don’ts and, in either case, a “fatherlessness” may develop. The Wounded Healer’s author, Henri Nouwen, asserts that it is possible for a generation to contain “parents but no fathers.” We often think of it as the absenteeism of a father but there is an under considered definition that is just as tragic. Nouwen explains that a type of “fatherlessness” occurs not only or not so much in the physical absence of a father but in the diminished influence of male figures in a young person’s life. Most persons would contend that elders in a preceding generation deserve respect from the generation that succeeds it because they are older and are assumed to be largely more mature and wiser. Peer advice is ubiquitous through the evolution of social media making it possible to communicate almost anywhere and anytime. This seems to either challenge or undermine the influence of the believed authority figures. Nouwen’s perspective gives fresh weight and meaning to the impact of peer pressure in our current circumstances. Our children have the opinions and advice of their friends in the palm of their hand. Fathers, what can we do? We have a biblical mandate to be influential, loving and humble spiritual teachers in the lives of our children. Deuteronomy 6:4-9, the Shema, a central prayer to Jews in the Bible offers a spiritual mandate for fathers. The prayer begins “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord alone…” which speaks of God’s indispensable authority with His people. We are to serve as a primary spiritual teacher for our children demonstrating for them a life lived with God and God’s authority first. We are later encouraged to love God with our heart, soul and might— the totality of our being. I found this to be an extraordinary thought and striving that fathers are to teach their children how to live life in loving fellowship with God and how to love God. Teach with humility. Think of it like this: You are a “Child of God” teaching a “Child of God.” Our children are trying to figure out the world around them. My son and I like to visit the National Zoo in Washington, DC to see the animals, especially the giant pandas. He constantly asks questions about what they eat and where they live. I enjoy sharing with him details about our Heavenly Father’s care and provision in the world. We can do this anytime; the details of our Heavenly Fathers’ love are all around us and we are to talk about it with our children with the hope that we’ve prepared them for a life-long encounters with God. Live knowing that you are not alone is this parenting journey. God, our Father Heavenly Father, is with us and provides a hopeful, clear and achievable path for an earthly father in a child’s life. Rev. John C. McNeill, Jr., M. Div., CAS, the Youth Minister at First Mount Zion Baptist Church VA, is a graduate of Colgate Rochester Crozer Divinity School and Lincoln University. As a youth pastor, he is responsible for overseeing and supporting youth programs that introduce young people to Christ. He actively assists in discipling them in spiritual growth, while training them in serving Christ. Reverend McNeill, Jr. is Co-President of the Prince William County Ministers Association and a Staff Consultant with Ministry Architects. He's married to Rev. Starlette McNeill and together they have a charming son, John III. Be encouraged by his blog at: thespiritualwalk.wordpress.com or contact him at jmcneill@firstmountzionbc.org. 12 Optimal Living Winter 2017
The Wifey 101 Series Intimacy: The Key to Leaving and Cleaving in Marriage Leaving: Single is what we are until we choose to become married, it implies wholeness, completeness, and maturity, neither Adam nor his intended was broken in spirit before they married. Oftentimes, we enter marriage to replace the void and emptiness of our soul. God’s institution of marriage is between one man and one woman to fulfill HIS purpose on the earth, have godly seed (children) and glorify him through the union (Malachi 2:13-15). Notice in the beginning that marriage was God’s idea, he put Adam to sleep, created his wife, and awakened him when he was ready for them to meet. Adam had no knowledge of his wife until God presented her to him (Genesis 2:21-25). Perhaps, if women would remember that Adam is sleeping until God opens his eyes then they wouldn’t get so impatient and make costly decisions that make them bitter and men wouldn’t weaken their power by giving their strength to the wrong woman. Transition is the process of changing from what you were and the newness of entering into what you shall become. Notice again, they both had time with God alone before he brought them together (Genesis 2:15-20). This is crucial time. A man and woman’s first vision must be God (Genesis 2:7). Adam came into the knowledge of who he was (identity), he had a career (purpose), and he was in charge (authority). When the woman came on the scene everything was already prepared and ready for her, she entered into what God already formulated. She was intimate with him before she was ever intimate and presented to Adam. Lastly, notice that God determined when they both were ready. God established the first marriage with himself. Their marriage union was not established by their own efforts, it was first established with God himself; conversely, their union was not the establishment of the marriage, God was. The institution itself is perfect but can be destroyed by human will and choice. Leaving home is necessary to cleaving because you cannot operate your own house effectively under your parents’ dominion…not effectively. .Marriage is a ministry unto God (not man). We leave the security of parents to cleave with our spouse as written in the Bible. Becoming a glorified union means you (both) endure and overcome all challenges by remaining faithful to him. Three Keys to Intimacy in Marriage: Commitment: Commitment goes beyond duty and sacrifice. It is Imbedded in having the right attitude as you endure the hardships of marriage. Covenant: The covenant is between three and not two. Remembering the covenant by choosing to depend on the covenant giver, which is God himself. Communication: Communication allows us to connect by reaffirming our intentions and listening to our spouse’s intentions. Cleaving: The Hebrew meaning for the word cleave is dabaq (da-vak).It literally means to stay with, overtake, stick together, be joined together (as by glue) to pursue closely, and to catch by pursuit. It means to attach oneself and to come upon. There is no you or me, there is only us: having one vision, one union, and one purpose. “I” gives up “me” for “us”. When we leave parents and self-centered motivations behind we can hear the Lord call our name, we learn to trust God, depend upon him, and become one in soul (mind, will, and emotions) with each other. Those not fully committed to the process will divorce because they have lost their purpose. Surrendering your will unto God will regulate your emotions. You have entered a covenant with God and your spouse by agreeing to be responsible not just for each other but to each other and God. Here is where a marriage becomes glorified: love. Love is the essence of it all, for God is love (I John 4:8). Love is able to bind the relationship together (through covenant) even when misunderstanding, confusion, anger, and discontent is prevalent in the marriage, if we let him. The love will hold you together, if we will yield to him, spend quality time with each other and by all means never lose respect for each other. Lynette is the President/Founder of WOMAN, INC (Women of God On the Move Making a Difference Achieving Greatness Now), non-profit organization since 2007. She is also the President/Founder of Lynette Harrison Enterprises and author of: Reduce Me to Christ, W.O.M.A.N. Lessons, and Baby I Didn’t Marry You for Your Feet! President/Founder: The W.O.M.A.N. INSTITUTE. To purchase products or to book Lynette to speak at your engagement visit: www.LHEnterprises.org. Winter 2017 Optimal Living 13
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