Skullwise Cat

unnoticed when the paper causes everyone to fall asleep. Excuse me. The Donald is
coming this way.”
“Pelania does not love you,” Sondra directly said to the Donald. “What would you do if
you found out that she was having sex with a secret service agent?”
“I would have her punished. I’ve made sure that all women who have abortions are
punished by being tarred and feathered. I would have Pelania whipped.”
“You are a barbarian.”
“I really didn’t mean to say “whipped.” I said “shipped.” I will send Pelania on a nice
cruise. But let’s talk about this great party. You did an amazing job in a short time. My
wives are still hot in Birkenstocks,” Donald said as he held out his arms. “Shall we
dance?”
There was a limit for how far Sondra could go—even to benefit the F.H.M. Relying on
her inner Scheherazade, she tried to talk her way into gaining time.
“We do have things in common. I’m from Queens too. I grew up in Forest Hills, straight
down Queens Boulevard from your childhood home in Jamaica Estates. I remember
seeing your father’s Trump Pavilion sign next to the Van Wyck Expressway when I was
growing up.”
“Donald placed his arm around Sondra’s waist. Since all the feminists and wives were
watching, she had to dance with him.
“Sondra, let’s make a deal. Marry me. Become my twenty-seventh wife. Marrying a
feminist professor would be huge for my re-election success. Wha da ya say?”
“I say never. You know very well that Jewish women from Forest Hills do not become
the twenty-seventh wife of anyone. Furthermore, fat orange haired men in their late
seventies are not my type.”
At that moment, Eleanor ran into the room. “Dr. Sondra come quick. A flying saucer has
landed on the Gold House lawn,” she screamed.
“Not to worry, Eleanor. This is a job for a super science fiction scholar.”
Sondra made her way to the Gold House lawn where she closely encountered little green
women walking down a flying saucer’s open gangplank. They were wearing silver
pantsuits, Birkenstocks, and scrunchies. “Take us to your leader,” they said in unison.
“We want to meet her.”
“I have no doubt that you are feminist extraterrestrials,” Sondra confidently stated. “Let
me calmly cut to the chase. Female Earthling Americans are in deep trouble precisely
because our leader is a bombastic male chauvinist pig carnival barker con man whose ego
is larger than the entire universe. Believe me. You do not want to be taken to him. Will
you help female Earthling Americans?”
“Yes,” they said in unison.