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“Terrific. And not a moment too soon. Hillary, America’s rightful female leader, has<br />
been locked up. The Donald, that’s the name of our male leader I just described, is on the<br />
cusp of winning a third term. By the way, I’m Professor Sondra Lear.”<br />
One of the little green women stepped forward and extended her tentacle toward Sondra.<br />
“Nice to meet you. I’m Captain Kyra. Here we come to save the day. That means that<br />
mighty feminist extraterrestrials are on the way. Exactly what can we do for you? We<br />
have extraordinary reality altering powers.”<br />
“First thing is to break Hillary out of Rikers.”<br />
“Done,” Captain Kyra said as Hillary materialized on the lawn wearing an orange prison<br />
jumpsuit.<br />
Sondra saw Hillary and became unnerved. “No. This is not right,” she said to<br />
Kyra. “Hillary wears pantsuits, not jumpsuits. Turn her jumpsuit into a pantsuit. Make it<br />
black. Black needs to be the new orange for Hillary. Oh and she needs sun glasses”<br />
“Done.”<br />
“Perfect. Now Hillary can join the party and blend in with the other feminist attendees.”<br />
Sondra turned toward Hillary. “I’m an active F.H.M. member who could not be happier<br />
to meet you. Join the Gold House party for feminist scholars and the Donald’s wives. The<br />
sun glasses will allow you to blend in without being noticed. Have a drink. Enjoy<br />
yourself while the feminist extraterrestrials and I figure out how to ensconce you in your<br />
rightful place as President of the United States.”<br />
“I will follow your directions,” said Hillary. “Despite my wonkiness, feminist<br />
extraterrestrials are beyond my purview.” Hillary walked into the Gold House hoping that<br />
she could transform it back into the White House of yore. Sondra turned toward Kyra.<br />
“I know exactly what to do,” Sondra said. “I can accomplish my objective without<br />
feminist extraterrestrial intervention. I will simply use your presence here to my own<br />
advantage. I just need you to do one more thing, though. Kyra, please make everyone on<br />
Earth--with the exception of me and Donald--forget that the little green women landing<br />
on the Gold House lawn thing ever happened.<br />
“Done,” said Kyra. “We will be flying off now. Great to meet you Sondra.”<br />
“Likewise Kyra.”
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