THE HAIRPOLITAN MAGAZINE VOL 6 MAY 2017

RAISE
THROWING
BACK WITH
MRS. MBAE
by Karimi Kagwe
I love the month of May. Every year my family joins
the rest of the world in celebrating our mum, Mrs
Margaret Mbae, on Mother‘s day. Mum was also
born in May! So we have two wonderful reasons to
reflect on the special gift that she is.
Our time together, was punctuated with lots of
laughter as mum regaled me with tales of her
upbringing. She is the fifth born in a family of nine
children and she has seven brothers and one sister.
In their younger years, she and her sister were
responsible for most of the household chores. The
chores included fetching water, cleaning the house,
cooking meals, and laundering clothes for all the
children. “I remember washing the khaki school
uniforms. They were really hard and difficult to scrub
clean, ’’ she recalls. These clothes were vigorously
washed on a stone at the village well on weekends.
The villagers would meet to wash their clothes, fetch
water and take a bath. Surprisingly, the well water
Mwende Mbae (Sister), Karimi Kagwe, Nimrod Mbae
(Dad), Margaret Mbae (Mum) & Muthoni Ngari (Sister).
was clean enough to do the afore mentioned tasks,
plus for drinking and household use.
I was shocked to find out that, during those days,
there was no playtime. Children were to be seen
and not heard, especially when there were visitors.
However, mum and her siblings still found creative
ways to play their games yet still attend to their
daily chores. Cleverly, this only happened when their
parents were away. Nowadays, children have rights
and entitlements to play and leisure.
“There were no televisions or smartphones. We
“
WE GREW UP IN A
HAPPY HOME AND
NEVER FELT LIKE
WE MISSED OUT ON
ANYTHING
“
Credit to Pixell8 Photography.
would occupy ourselves with games of our own
creation. We didn’t feel like we were poor or needy;
we grew up in a happy home and never felt like we
missed out on anything. My mum was a great story
teller and would, whenever time allowed, tell us
interesting stories which I remember to this day,”
Mum expounds.
There were advantages of being born into a large
family, which came to be seen in the sharing out of
duties. Her parents hired extra hands to work in the
garden, but only as support staff. The children would
all work together and be given rows of coffee for
weeding, spraying insecticide and pruning. “Parents
do not give children responsibilities as they used to
like in our time,” Mum notes. Later, in her teenage
years she went to a boarding high school while most
of her siblings at that time were in a day school.
“When I returned from boarding school it felt like
payback time as I had to do all the chores because I
had been away, it was my time to do the work!’’ she
quips.
In the coffee-picking season, they would at times be
at the coffee factory late into the night. When they
would return home, the boys would help to fetch
water because of the lateness of the hour. They
would then work together to cook the large ugali
(a dish made from maizemeal). If a chicken were to
be cooked for their large family, it would be just
enough. Every morsel would be cooked, eaten and
the nice pieces belonged to the grown ups. “To this
day, I don’t like to eat the drumsticks because I grew
up knowing that the two pieces belonged to my
parents!” Mum shares.
When the holidays came along, her mother would
send the girls to a family friend’s home. They would
be sent bearing gifts from the garden. However,
because the destination was quite a distance
away, they would spend the night at the home and
return the next day. It was safer for children to walk
unaccompanied, as there were no kidnapping cases.
I note that this is in stark contrast to modern times.
I ask her what her views are on the differences
between raising children, then and now. She talks
about smart phones being accessible to very young
children; and if not monitored, it can lead to unwanted
exposure to pornography and other societal vices.
Mum highlights that even in the slum areas children
can pay as little as Kes. 5/= to watch whatever they
want as they are mostly on their own. “Nowadays we
find both parents working and coming home late.
They do not have as much influence on their children
who are being raised by the media, the house helps
and peers in school.”
We wind down the interview with her remembering
how they went to boarding school later in life. While,
in this day & age, Mum’s heard of children being sent
off when they are still very young. She feels it takes
something away form the parent-child relationship.
“Once they become teenagers it is harder to form a
bond,” she adds.
I’ve enjoyed listening to my mother sharing about
her childhood but all she had to say couldn’t fit in
this article. I left, deep in thought considering the
demanding parenting journey ahead. There is truly a
lot we can learn from the past.
Mum later went on to work for decades in the
education sector and is now retired. She now spends
some of her time as a director at Koinoinia Education
Centre.
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