my best life 07.03.17.245A
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He died on January 6, 2011.<br />
He was 83.<br />
During <strong>my</strong> research, when I learned about <strong>my</strong> biological<br />
father’s suicide and <strong>my</strong> biological mother’s unsuccessful<br />
attempt at suicide, it took me back to the night of the<br />
storm in Ohio.<br />
I first thought about the spiritual experience I had after I<br />
dropped the knife. My thoughts, at that moment, was that<br />
<strong>my</strong> mother, Dolores, was with me in spirit after dying the<br />
year before.<br />
But then, I began to wonder if that presence I felt may<br />
have been <strong>my</strong> father, James. Had he regretted taking his<br />
own <strong>life</strong> and was somehow reaching out to stop me from<br />
taking mine?<br />
I may never know the answer to that question.<br />
But, I do know this.<br />
The incredible coincidence that <strong>my</strong> father, James AND<br />
<strong>my</strong> mother, Diana both attempted suicide (one of them<br />
successfully) scared me that thoughts of ending <strong>my</strong> <strong>life</strong><br />
may have been a genetic sequence I was carrying.<br />
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