WOMEN'S+FRONTLINE+MAGAZINE+ISSUE+WOMEN'S+FRONTLINE+MAGAZINE+JUNE

Inside of church, I was taught what
defined a good “Christian friend”.
The list was pretty simple:
I’ve been through divorce. I’ve been
kicked out of a church. I’ve
experienced abuse. I’ve been
gossiped about, betrayed – I’ve
been judged, outcasted, unfriended,
etc. simply because I took
a stand for what I believed or
because I made a personal decision
they didn’t approve of/agree with.
During some of the most painful
parts of my life “friends” walked
out or gave me the worst treatment
of all: silence.
On the flipside, I’ve felt the love of
the most incredible friends who
stood right beside me (some for
over 20 years) through my
successes and failures. I’ve also
been amazed at the people I least
expected, who showed up on my
front door with dinner or with a
listening ear when my life felt like
it was crumbling.
''When life gets hard, I’ve
learned to pay
attention. Pain and
heartache are some of
life’s greatest teachers.
So, I know a thing or two about
what friendship is.
Inside of church, I was taught
what defined a good “Christian
friend”.
The list was pretty simple:
1. They hold you accountable and
aren’t afraid to call you out on
your sin stuff
2. They love Jesus more than they
love you (meaning if they feel you
are going against what God would
want, they have no problem
cutting you off and being loyal to
God instead of you)
3. They don’t gossip (unless it’s in
the context of prayer. Talking
about me in the sense of prayer is
something I have to be okay with)
4. They know the Bible – and you
talk about it – a lot.
(Anna rant: And, we wonder why
Christians seem to be fake and
struggle with vulnerability?? OF
COURSE THEY ARE FAKE. THEY
HAVE TO BE. Rant complete.)