40 C002D5556 Sunday 15 April 2018 Life&Living Controversies over the issue of wedding rings BUNMI BAILEY Once married, age old tradition dictates that couples signify the nuptial commitment by wearing a wedding ring on the third finger of their left hand. This is believed to be a show of conjugal happiness, love and respect to a spouse. A survey carried out by BDsunday however reveals that this age long practice is gradually fading away especially amongst men in Nigeria. Most married men defended their decisions of not putting on their wedding ring, noting that it is not by law but by choice. “It mostly depends on their choice whether to wear it or not but in Islam it is a must to wear it because you are swearing your love with the ring for your wife in front of God and man so it will be a taboo to remove it,” Danjuma Muhammed , a businessman said. Olawale Labiyi, a wedding photographer said that most men that don’t wear it just want to still have fun and fool girls around and that for him he can never imagine removing his own ring. It seems as though the significance or value of wedding rings/ bands is fading even in western countries from where it originated. A number of notable men, including Donald trump, Prince William, Jay z and couples like Will Smith and Jada Pinkette have abandoned the tradition of wearing wedding rings, according to reports on New York Times. Wedding rings today are a billion dollar sentiment of love, but no one can really say for sure when this age old tradition actually started. Some believe that the oldest recorded exchange of wedding rings comes from ancient Egypt, about 4800 years ago. The circle was the symbol of eternity, with no beginning or end, not only to the Egyptians, but many other ancient cultures. The hole in the center of the ring also had significance. It wasn’t just considered a space, but rather a gateway, or door; leading to things and events both known and unknown. To give a woman a ring signifies never-ending and immortal love. Some married men attribute their reasons to it being misplaced and no funds to replace it. “Maybe most of them misplaced their own rings like me. I lost my own ring long ago and I don’t have money to afford another one but my wife has her own ring on her finger and if she misplaces her own I would go out of my way to buy her another one”, Stephen Nejo, a banker said in a phone interview. Women are not left out in the tread as some of them are seen to also not wear their rings. “Are churches even using rings now, some churches are no longer using rings they are using bibles now. Most of these married men use the ring as a camouflage to show how responsible they are but are they faithful? And some married men that have baby mamas don’t also wear their rings. I think it is also their personal decision whether to wear it or not”, Olajumoke Ajayi, a banker said “Some married women too are not wearing their rings, even I am not wearing it currently because the jewel on my ring removed and I cannot get another one now unless I travel because I don’t trust the goldsmith in this country they might end up spoiling it for me and my ring is very precious to me”, Olajumoke further said. There are some jobs that make wearing a wedding ring or any form of jewelry uncomfortable and dangerous; for example medical doctors before treating patients, remove any form of jewelry. “Some find it uncomfortable because of the job they do and also not to hurt patients when they are examining and treating them”, Olaniyi Olatunde, a doctor at Araba specialist hospital said. According to Pelumi Oladapo, a tailor, most born again Christians wears their rings because biblically it is a sign of love, respect and authority but all those men that don’t wear it, to me, are not born again and they just remove it so that people would think that they are single and available. How ‘Komole Collection’ by Deola Sagoe is changing the face of bridal wear in Nigeria IFEOMA OKEKE With over 12 years of fashion research, development and haute couture, the House of Deola presents a masterpiece of unparalleled craftsmanship ‘The Komole Collection’. The Komole range presents an assemblage of designs for bridal wear, drawing upon the mood and romance evoked by royalty and regal weddings through the ages. With impeccable attention to detail, the rich fabrics of the Komole Collection combines Nigeria’s traditionally weaved cloth-’Aso-oke’ with laser cut techniques to create unique motifs. Woven from multi-tone metallic yarns to mimic jewel hues, the outfits ingeniously grace the wearer with radiant opulence, thereby exuding an ethereal appeal. Although Identical, no two Komole pieces are the same as every piece is made with its own elegantly crafted motif. “I imagine a Komole bride. She is independent and in charge, but still demure and gentle like the current Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton. She honors everyone that looks at her with her way and that wow Komole creation!. She is the new light in all their lives!,” Deola Sagoe, CEO House of Deola said. Dress to suit YOU! JUMOKE AKIYODE We all know that everything comes in different shapes and sizes. And yes that includes the human body *surprise surprise* LOL. But on a serious note, it is very surprising that even in this day and age, with the advent of uncountable fashion awareness shows like Gok’s fashion fix, what not to wear and the likes, women still find it incredibly difficult to get clothes that suit their body shape and size. Or should I say most women do not even have a clue as to what shape they are even if they look into the mirror every day. Come on girls, it’s really not that difficult to discover what shape you are. Well, I’m here to help ease your stress with finding your perfect fit. So let’s put a smile on your face now. Two of Britain’s most popular fashion advisors, presenters and authors, Trinny Woodhall and Susannah Constantine have identified 12 different human body shapes in their new book titled ‘The body shape bible’. In addition to the basic apple, pear and hourglass shapes that most of us have heard about. These two fashion icons have added the skittle, vase cornet, lollipop, column, bell, goblet, cello and brick shapes. Don’t get all confused now. I’ll take some time out to explain the body shapes which most women fit into. Apple: Women with this body shape tend to carry more weight around the mid section of their bodies and do not have a well defined waist. However, most of you have fabulous legs and/ boobs so instead of covering up all your goodies, concentrate on showing off the best bits by wearing empire line and longer length tops. These will flatter your figure and take all the attention off your waist and draw people’s attention upwards. Avoid short, box shaped jackets and pleated skirts. They wouldn’t do you justice. Pear: These women are bottom heavy and bigger around the hips, thighs or bottom and smaller at the top. Try balancing out your curvy bottom half with bold bright coloured tops or shirts with large collars, sleeves or lapels. Make sure you avoid wearing pencil, tube and fishtail skirts as these will only emphasise your hips and bum, especially if they are tight fitted. Hour glass: Curvy hour glass women posses full bust and bottom and go in smaller in the middle with smaller waist. Remember not to drown your sexy shape in too baggy clothes. Wear wrap dresses, waist cinching belts and flared trousers/jeans to flatter your shape. Shapeless baggy jumpers or tops are a complete NO NO.
Sunday 15 April 2018 C002D5556 41 Women’sWorld Diane Ezeh Aruah: 25-year old mother, lecturer, author living her dream Twenty-five-year-old Diane Ezeh Aruah is a lecturer in the Department of Mass Communication, University of Nigeria Nsukka. Aruah, who is married with a son, obtained her Bachelor of Arts and Masters in Mass Communication in the same university. She has successfully authored a book and will author another soon. In this interview with Ifeoma Okeke, Aruah talks about her passion and life as an author and a lecturer at a renowned university. Excerpts. What has the experience been like for you as an author and a lecturer at the age of 25? It has been a dream come true for me because being a writer and a teacher is what I had always wanted to be since I knew my name. By the time I was 10, I had read all my elder brother’s and mum’s novels. My mum saw my passion and bought me many novels. I basically spent all my savings buying story books. Till today, writing stories and teaching younger students bring joy to my soul. It is my life. There is nothing else I would do. What are your passions and skills? My most cherished passion is the gift of observation and research. I love to ask questions a lot and use my findings to teach and encourage younger ones through speaking and writing. People’s stories excite me, whether tragic or comedy. I recognize the importance of using stories to teach and that has changed my life in many ways. I remember a character in a novel I read when I was little. The protagonist was a girl who always told the truth even when people laughed at her. At the end, she got very much rewarded for it. After reading that novel, I made up my mind to always speak the truth regardless the consequences. Stories motivate, teach, entertain and inspire. How do you manage playing the role of a mother, a lecturer and an author? Honestly, being a mother and a working class can be very difficult to manage. Why? Because there is no one who can take care of your baby the way you would. You cannot trust anyone. Nannies, Creche, even your siblings, Diane Ezeh Aruah especially if you have a baby who has to be force fed before he eats. It takes patient and extra hard work to achieve both. It also takes appropriate planning, maturity and courage. Most importantly, it takes the grace of God. It is only God that can give you the inner strength to wake up by 4am every morning, cook for your husband and baby, wash clothes, go to work and come back tired, only to face other duties. But, if you have loving people around you who are always willing to help, things get easier. Plus size? Do not shy away from runway trends! What are your dreams in the next ten years? I see myself impacting life (Smiles), feeling fulfilled. I really want to help people through my stories and research. I also hope to have a larger family and live in a better world. I hope to have more than 500 publications including journal articles, books and articles. I hope to have attended many international conferences and travelled to at least ten countries. I hope to have blogs and social media pages where people visit to find solace and fulfilment. I hope to be known for good things. How far has your book sold? I have sold more than 5000 copies of my books across the country. I plan to have a larger readership soon because I am in the process of going online. It is no longer news that we live in a digital world and every wise person should make use of that great opportunity. Can you tell us about the books you have authored and the messages you have passed across through them? I currently have 50 short stories, two unpublished novels and one published novel titled “The First Time”. The First Time is my most successful and significant work because it is related to the experience of many young ladies in my hometown Nsukka, where girls of 16-20 are being pressured to get married, even when they are yet to come out of secondary school. The mindset of many parents over here is that a woman must be married before 25, else be considered old, used and unmarriageable. Less of women have dreams and are hardly empowered. There seems to be a competition amongst young girls over who gets married first or who have more kids. It pains my heart when I see many potential and intelligent girls get married to men who are very much older than them, men who would never encourage their dreams. I believe there is a lot of work to do to change the mind-set of many Nigerian girls towards marriage and The First Time is a very important step in achieving that goal. The title of my second book which I am about to publish is ‘Cold Hands.’ The story is about a 28 year old successful female gynaecologist who refused to get married because of what her female patients pass through in the hands of men. Who are your role models and how have they impacted your career? My biggest roles models are my parents and my husband. My husband is like my footpath; he makes the most difficult task look so easy. When I’m down, he lifts up my spirit. My mum on the other hand is my star. The first time I entered class was the best teaching moment of my time because of the way my mum prepared me. She made me feel very confident, and believed I could do anything. She was the first editor of my novel. She pushes me to achieve my dreams; she made me believe age is just a number. Her trust in my capabilities amazes me. My dad, on the other hand provides lots of opportunities for me to grow. He is a generous provider and I thank him for always being there. In my next world, they would still be my models. What is your advice for young ladies struggling to have a family and still run a successful career? I want women to get rid the mindset that marriage is the ultimate. Yes, it is very important but we should never have to feel pressured. We should get married because we found someone to share our lives with, and not because the society expects us to. I also want them to know that building their dreams is as important as the air we breathe. An independent woman exhumes respect, honour and friendship in the face of her husband. She is the pride of her society and her family. JUMOKE AKIYODE As ladies, we all want to get with the latest trends in fashion. But unfortunately, not all season’s trends and everything on the run way is suitable for everyone, or so we think. It is more difficult for plus size ladies to just throw own whatever they see in high street shops but of course that is not to say that plus size ladies cannot be fashionable or trendy. They sure can keep up with the latest trends but they must make sure that whatever outfits they choose to wear is comfortable and flatters their figure. It is important to note that there is no hard and fast rule to what a big person can and cannot wear. In fact, fashion experts have proven with time that whatever can be worn by a size 4 lady can also be worn by somebody who is a size 16, just in different ways, styles and probably colour, to make it suit the figure better. Cold shoulder tops are in vogue now and everywhere you turn to, you see someone wearing one. This style is perfectly suitable for fuller figured women as it shows a little bit of skin but not too much to make it look off putting . Just make sure that the fabric is not too clingy that it shows all the fat rolls and the pattern is not too bold, that it makes you look even bigger than you actually. A lot of people actually believe that button down shirts are unflattering for plus size women. However, Nicole Brewer, an international fashion stylist says; “Button-down shirts complement curves,” “Look for one that has stretch and design details that create shape, like darts, ruching, and wrapping.” For an even more slenderizing silhouette, “layer the shirt under a blazer, jacket, or cardigan—it will shrink the appearance of your midsection and elongate you,” says Brewer. Fashion experts have said that the key to a flattering garment comes down to fit and not colour. So, just because you’re plus size does not mean you should drown yourself in black or dark colours so that you can ‘look slimmer’, just make sure that whatever colour you’re wearing compliments you skin tone. Never shy away from new trends because you think it was made for skinny people. Plus size ladies should always remember that; ‘If it floats your boat, by all means go for it’. The trick is to adapt a trend in a way that works for your shape. If you really want to wear a crop top because that’s what is in season, then opt for one that’s cut longer and pair it with a highwaisted pencil skirt or trousers. Are you dying to colour block your outfit? Wearing multi-toned pieces can be slimming if the vertical panels and darker shades are positioned on the areas that you want to downplay. Even hard-topull-off harem pants get the green light. “Find a pair with stretch and draping,” says Brewer.