Pure Inspiration

Ven. Bhikkhu Guttasīla – 67
When I arrived in Sri Lanka, I stayed in Vajirarama at a time when
Ven. Ñāṇavimala was resident. On piṇḍapāta that particular morning,
as I was going down the street toward the main road there was an old
beggar lady sitting in the door of a closed shop. She must have been
well into her seventies and she showed a lot of faith toward me, with
her hands in añjali (respectful salutation), as I walked past. On the
piṇḍapāta, I received some food that was a little bit extra special. I
passed the old lady on the way back and it crossed my mind that I
wanted to give her a small portion of my piṇḍapāta food. I could hear
someone walking behind me and this made me change my mind. Who
knows, it could have been people who actually gave it to me? I thought
I’d better not give food to this old lady even though I wanted to.
After going for piṇḍapāta, I went to see Ven. Ñāṇavimala. I explained
to him how the last three years I was away from Sri Lanka and how I
looked after my parents, etc., but I also explained I was able to keep
my monk’s precepts during that time. Bhante Ñāṇavimala gave a little
bit of a Dhamma talk to me. I brought this question up about the old
lady to Ven. Ñāṇavimala. He changed and became kind of stern and
he spoke to me in a very hard way saying ‘You went back to New
Zealand just to indulge your senses, just to enjoy yourself. sāmaṇeras
like you shouldn’t go piṇḍapāta. You should just keep your mind on
the meditation object and take your meals in the dining hall
(dānasāla)’. I was not a sāmaṇera, but a bhikkhu and for me, this was
just so severe and so insensitive. He said, ‘That’s enough now, you can
go’. So I paid respects and left. This is a monk I thought very highly of,
a role model, someone to inspire one in one’s monk life. I still saw him
as a very wonderful monk, very sincere in his practice, but what it
showed me was that he could be very insensitive.