Pure Inspiration

Ishanka – 86
Before that, Bhante had mentioned to my cousin that he had been a
Hindu of sorts.
I calmed down with this knowledge of karma and its result. Then Ven.
Ñāṇavimala spoke about his cousin, whose husband had treated her
very badly. Although she was not a Buddhist, she had been very
patient and didn’t lose her temper with him. Instead, she had been
kind and considerate, and he finally realized his mistakes.
The fact that Bhante understood my situation gave me a great deal of
solace. He knew that I was not sleeping, he said: ‘At night, even
though your mind and body are tired, you may not be able to sleep.’
He asked me to practice mettā regularly, as often as possible, and
explained the benefits of mettā practice. ‘You will sleep well and the
gods will protect you and so on.’ (one of the eleven benefits of
practising loving-kindness according to AN 11:16).
So I practiced mettā daily for around three months, and at the end of
this time I was out of this mental cloud. I remember that the practice
of mettā, this time round, resulted in feelings of inexplicable joy
accompanied by tears. I enquired from him why I cried every time I
practiced mettā. He replied, ‘Yes, it can be quite emotional at times,
these may be tears of joy.’ I felt reassured.
I had now gained confidence and went back to Bhante to ask if I
should practice ānāpānasati, watching the in-out movement of the
breath. He asked, ‘Why?’ I replied that I just felt like it. Perhaps I had
read somewhere or heard that the practice of ānāpānasati held the key
to happiness. I had known this from before, but perhaps I was not
ready for ānāpānasati yet. After three months, Bhante approved.