TRINITONIAN ONLINE JAN 2018

FEATURE ARTICLE
6. Wash up
(approximate target age: 3 to 18)
8. Appointments
(approximate target age: 12 to 18)
Does your child need a haircut, to see a dentist or
an extra maths lesson? Let them make their own
appointments by teaching them who the significant
community people are in their lives, like your doctor,
dentist, hairdresser and extra maths teacher, and giving
them their contact details. Allow your child to assess
what their needs are and to make a plan to get that
need met. Obviously, they must check with you that it’s
suitable for you to take them to the appointment, but
co-ordinating various people’s diaries to get something
done is the cornerstone of adult life… forever, and ever!
I’m going to boast a bit here, but we’re very proud
that our 3 years old knows how to load and turn on the
dishwasher… and he loves it! I know he will love it less
as he grows up, but he knows how to do it and, well…
he has no option going forward. Every child needs to
understand that their day-to-day living is not somebody
else’s job! While we have the clearing of the dinner table
and the loading of the dishwasher down pat, we’ve not
yet ventured into laundry! But soon each of our kids will
be responsible for sorting their colours for the wash and
putting away washed and ironed clothes. They’ll thank
us when they hit varsity or backpack overseas.
7. Meddling in their academics
(approximate target age: 10 to 18)
Obviously, younger children need quality time and
guidance from you for schoolwork. Spend the time
reading, sounding out letters, counting kidney beans…
and all those good things. It’s also important to go
through projects, study sessions and exam cycles closely
monitoring, coaching and guiding your kids on how to
do it properly. But at some point, you have to step back
– but you must judge when you think your child is ready!
Some kids develop faster than others but when it’s time,
allow them to analyse their exam timetable, plot their
study sessions and monitor their own performance. But
always show interest and hold them accountable for
their results, which should be to the best of their ability.
9. Learn while you earn
(approximate target age: 12 to 18)
Let them get a job, and by job we mean let them get
creative on how they could potentially earn money.
Perhaps they will think of walking the neighbour’s dog,
or baking cookies to sell at the market, or offering to
pack your storeroom at work. Whatever it is, they need
to understand their ability to earn money! There is
nothing quite as empowering or liberating than when
a child realises their earning potential. When they
reach 15 or 16, they should even be running a budget.
Perhaps they should get a budget per term where they
will be responsible for the payment of their extramurals
and the equipment. Whatever they manage to save,
they get to keep. It’s an incentive to becoming money
savvy and careful!
The above are all suggestions sourced from other
parents, the Internet and from our own household
on how to help your kids be more independent.
These are merely ideas for parents who want more
independent children and I encourage you to use
what you want and to lose the rest! I’m no qualified
child psychologist, just an experienced parent, but
I was motivated to write this article after an 11 year
old who has never used a tin opener before slept
over at our house!
The Trinitonian | 21