Surrey Homes | SH46 | August 2018 | Wedding supplement inside

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REIGATIANS: CLIMBING HIGH JOIN THE “TOP CO-EDUCATIONAL DAY SCHOOL IN SURREY” Four years running - The Telegraph and The Sunday Times MONTHLY OPEN MORNINGS For dates and to register please visit rgs.to/open-sh Reigate Grammar School, Reigate Road, Reigate, <strong>Surrey</strong>, RH2 0QS reigategrammar.org | 01737 222231 | info@reigategrammar.org facebook.com/reigategrammarschool @reigategrammar
Surviving results season Less than brilliant grades aren’t always a disaster, says Hilary Wilce, with the right support, there’s as much to learn from failure as there is from success It’s <strong>August</strong>, exam results season, and for many young people a time of celebration and optimism. They are setting out on the next step of life with their heads held high. But for others, things might not be looking so rosy. Their results may have been a terrible disappointment. They may have failed to get into the sixth form or college of their choice, or into their chosen university. When this happens, it can feel very bitter, but in fact there is an awful lot to be said for failure. Indeed, the “Talk about your own mistakes and what you’ve learned from them” outcome of failure often turns out to be success. The schoolchild who ‘fails’ to get into their first choice primary school, or doesn’t pass the eleven-plus, may well find themselves happier and doing better at their alternative school. And a clearing-place university might turn out to be exactly the right one for a student to shine. Failure also teaches lots of useful lessons. As human beings we fail all the time – at work and at home – but if we are smart we can learn from that failure. We can figure out how to do things a different way, discover that we’re capable of working harder, get to know ourselves better and change the behaviours that are getting in our way. That’s why good teachers positively welcome failure into their classrooms and tell pupils that mistakes are essential to good learning. They set high standards, but give students the support, encouragement and non-judgmental feedback they need to grow into doing as well as they can. As parents, though, our instincts can be different. We want to protect our children from failure because we know how much the shame and pain of it can sting. But if we try too hard to protect our children from all failure, they will subliminally soak up our anxieties and become too scared to try new things, or to come home with less than perfect results. They will absorb the message that they must do everything right, the first time they try it, and grow either timid and perfectionist, or else rebel and act up because they know they’ll never reach the high standards expected. Parents who constantly push and bribe their children for high grades, who bellow and admonish their children on the touch lines of school pitches, are always demanding of schools why their children aren’t doing better… are people who are, deep down, terrified of failure. Instead of falling into these patterns, make friends with failure and help your children to think of it as a normal part of life. Encourage them to look it in the face and see it as something that will help them to learn better and grow stronger. Talk about your own mistakes and what you’ve learned from them. Avoid comparisons with higher-achieving pupils, or talking about success and failure in black and white terms. Instead encourage your child to see that their brain is pliable and plastic, quite capable of stretching itself round new things and rising to challenges. Tell them that top athletes know that mental attitudes matter just as much as sporting prowess and that’s why they work as much on developing grit, determination and resilience as on developing their physical abilities. Because at the end of the day, that’s where the roots of success and failure always lie – in how each one of us decides to look at life and meet the challenges it flings at us. 129 surrey-homes.co.uk
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WEDDING SUPPLEMENT inside Inspirati
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Please call for a brochure or visit
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Our huge range of customisable furn
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OAK FRAMED BUILDINGS OAK & WALNUT F
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statement living on a grand scale E
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THE FARTHINGS RANDALLS ROAD LEATHER
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BANSTEAD’S finest New homes AN EX
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Connected Village living Introducin
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House Month of the £3,200,000 Grac
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Discretion is the Better Part of Va
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Regain the use of this valuable spa
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Midwinter Fair Sponsored by harpers
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Outstanding care within an independ
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ADVERTISEMENT FEATURE SILENT POOL D
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York Handmade Brick are an award wi
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Orlestone Oak Tailor-made Oak Joine
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FREE NO OBLIGATION HOME VISIT, QUOT
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Melody Maison www.melodymaison.co.u
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Notebook Sanctuary Mane Chance resc
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Editor’s Letter not all shutters
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Where to find your copy of T R A N
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The house of many words As Hastings
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Previous page: The East Room is in
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09:47 • Architectural stonework a
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Left: The garden is dominated by a
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By Appointment to Her Majesty the Q
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Left from a previous production, th
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Our events are ideal for couples or
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Above: Bath-based artist Emma Joy
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Kate Thelwell, Unicorns Landing, Ac
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CATCHPOLE & RYE KENT ENGLAND EXCLUS
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SurreyHms_Aug:SurreyHomesHlfVert 31
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ADVERTISEMENT FEATURE THE ART OF CR
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UK’s No.1 Fitness Equipment Retai
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A passage from India A bona fide le
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Previous pages: The kitchen has she
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A different perspective. Some see s
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Sasha calls her style of sophistica
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• German engineered and manufactu
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Above: Looking out from Sasha’s w
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Create a Spa in your own Home Balan
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Above left: The vintage bathroom ca
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What’s the difference? EXPERT DES
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Above: An arrangement of Sasha’s
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1 2 3 4 Get the l l look 6 7 8 5 9
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Hammer time Forget Bargain Hunt...
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SPIRIT IN STONE 2018 THE ZIMBABWE S
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Weddings A Surrey Homes Supplement
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Page 132 and 133: Flowers, Balloons & Decorations Pac
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Page 136 and 137: ARE YOU CONSIDERING DENTAL IMPLANTS
Page 138 and 139: Beauty Improve your teeth and smile
Page 140 and 141: THE LARGEST FITNESS EQUIPMENT SHOWR
Page 142 and 143: Wellbeing Natural wisdom Ella Carey
Page 144 and 145: Food Light and bright In our climat
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Page 148 and 149: CONTEMPORARY CEDAR WOOD HOT TUBS
Page 150 and 151: Highest quality Tennis surfaces and
Page 152 and 153: INSTANT HEDGES AND LARGE TREES
Page 154 and 155: GARDEN ROOM Display Village Johnson
Page 156 and 157: British Luxury Furniture Since 1977
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Page 170: Being pushed out of your workplace?
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Surrey Homes | SH46 | August 2018 | Wedding supplement inside

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